Written for SM_Monthly May Challenge 2009 : Marriage

Crystal Tokyo setting.

The twilight sky was gray and purple.

The birds chirping and squawking in the ancient tree outside of her window were obliterating any shred of concentration that she had left. Rei thought briefly of sending up a noise bomb to send them scattering when her three-year old son sidled up to her desk, tugged on her skirt, and announced that he loved her, very, very much, and when he was bigger, they were going to get married.

Rei took a break from tracking the erupting volcano in the Philippines and turned to the dark haired boy who was staring up at her with unabashed love in his eyes. Her “little surprise” never stopped surprising her. “We are?”

He also informed her that she had no choice in this matter because he had already decided.

She kept her face neutral, unsure if it was appropriate to laugh. “Thank you, darling, I love you too. But we can’t get married, it’s not allowed.”

Lies! Lies and slander! “Noooo.” He rested his chin on her leg and asked for further clarification. “Why?”

“Because.” Internally, she facepalmed; she had always hated that explanation when her grandfather had tossed it her way. But there was no way in Hades that she was going to get into the logistics of it, especially when he pressed his face into her leg, clearly suffering at this new piece of information. He asked why again, his voice muffled and miserable.

A better explanation came to her like a lighthouse beacon. “Because it’s against the law.”

He picked up his head and looked up at her, his eyes twinkling under the fringe of dark lashes. What cruel dictator made that absurd law? “Who said dat?”

She thought it beneficial to pass the buck in this situation. “The King.”

Loki’s face brightened. This was easy! All he had to do now was ask the King if he would change the law! It happened all the time, his father had said; and since the King was his uncle, he would be happy to change such a ludicrous, archaic law that was preventing him from entering into marital bliss with his mother! They could go right now!

The words got tangled on the way out of his mouth, and he had to repeat himself several times before his mother understood what he was asking. Rei sighed. “How about tomorrow we’ll go see Uncle Dimi, alright, sweetie? It’s almost your bedtime, and you still need to take a bath.”

O tortuous, wretched soap and water! “NO BATH.”

“Yes bath,” Rei said, scooping up him up before he had a chance to run away, and carried his wriggling body to the bathroom at a sideways angle, which kept him disoriented enough to keep from struggling in earnest. She knew his tricks.

He screamed as she aimed the shower spray over his head. This potential marriage was not off to a great start.

Rei toweled him off and forced him to brush his teeth, which was a fifteen-minute, foam-filled process that she usually took over before the end. Loki sulked as she pulled his pajamas on, and she thought that perhaps he had dropped his plan and that she was in the clear.

No such luck. When his father entered his room, Loki bluntly announced his engagement and upcoming nuptials while hugging one of Rei’s legs.

“Oh yeah?” Jadeite winked at Rei and pried their son off her leg. “But your mom is already married to me.”

So? The paternal unit would have to be relocated to another domicile, ideally with both siblings in tow. Maybe under the new relaxed standards, they could also enter a domestic civil union. “Daddy you go live anodder house.”

“All by myself?”

“No wid Clio an-and Callie.” Especially Callie, that vicious harpy. That will teach her for narcing on him when all he wanted to do was see how many bubbles he could make using a full bottle of shampoo and the toilet.

Rei busied herself in the closet to hide her grin as Loki explained his plan to petition the King to remove incest laws so that he could marry her. When he was much older, of course. Maybe next year.

“Next year? That’s kind of soon. What about Critter and Pai?”

Ugh. The canines. Forever licking and sniffing at him, and stealing the prime real estate in his bed. “Dey go wid you.”

“But I’ll be sad if I can’t live with you and Mommy.”

He gave his father a look. “You-you can come anb vizzit. Sumbtimes. When I say so.”

She waited until they were in bed that night before asking. “Should we worry?”

Jadeite yawned and pulled her closer. “Nah. All little boys have that phase.”

“What? Of marrying their mothers?” Rei said, mildly freaked out by this revelation. Goddess, what if he got this from his father?

“Mothers, teachers, babysitters. Older women. They grow out of it.”

“I thought it was just a Freudian joke.”

“Kids are weird. C’mon, Nephrite ate freaking paste in kindergarten.” He let out a low chuckle in the darkness. “Please tell me how it goes with Endymion. I wish to Goddess I could be there to see him bust a nut laughing.”

The King didn’t lose it, at first. When they arrived, he pulled Loki on his lap behind his giant desk and listened patiently to the unusual request.

“Your mother? Really?” The King’s smile was spreading to every corner of his face.

Yes, his mother. Didn’t he realize that she was the most beautiful creature on this sad planet, a dazzling jewel in the bleak fog of life, benevolent and soft and smelling like whispering midnight? “I love Mommy.”

“I said that he couldn’t since it’s against the law.” Rei narrowed her gaze on Endymion, who, annoyingly, was grinning back at her. “And the King sets the laws.”

“I do?”

“Yep!” Loki finished for him. The King fixed his face in concentration.

“And it’s up to me to change them? Really? Me?”

“Yes,” Rei hissed between clenched teeth. C’mon, Dimi, I haven’t got all day. Let him down already.

“Well.” The King picked Loki up and set him on his desk, his face very grave. “Hmm.”

Loki didn’t dare breath.

Uncle Dimi flashed a huge smile. “Why not!”

“WHAT?” Rei shouted, at the same time Loki let out a triumphant “Yay!”

“What, Rei?” Endymion lazily waved his hand, and a thick sheet of paper with lavender embossing appeared on the surface of the desk. He laughed at Rei’s horrified expression. “OK, buddy, I’m going to sign this, and then you and your mother can get married,” he checked his watch. “As of noon today, year three hundred seventy of Crystal Tokyo…say, do you want to me to put anyone else in this? Or just you?”

Loki banged his heels against the desk. All others be damned!

Although, it wouldn’t be fair to keep this wonderful privilege to himself; after all, he was expected to share his toys, so perhaps he could extend the same courtesy to Erie, Andy, and Cherie. Their mother, his Aunt Mina, was quite attractive herself, although she had recently gotten a very fat stomach. Undoubtedly one of her children would look past this transgression and be willing to marry her.

The King put those provisions in, signed it in purple ink, and pressed his seal into the paper, where it glowed briefly before settling in.

Loki was practically hysterical. “MOMMY LOOK!”

“What did you do that for?” Rei demanded, as Loki grabbed her hand and started jumping around like a grasshopper.

Endymion settled back in his chair and put his hands behind his head; Rei resisted the urge to smack the grin off of his face. “What? We’ll whip it out and embarrass the snot out of little Oedipus here when he turns sixteen and brings his first girlfriend home. Have fun on your honeymoon, Mommy.”

She threw him a disgusted look and escorted her ecstatic son from the King’s office.

The next week, Loki pressed his face into the Queen’s neck and declared his undying love for her, and his intention to marry her, if only the King would be so kind as to change the law for him, again. It should be no problem.

The King refused that request.

Aunt Setsuna, then.