Title: 50 Reasons to Have Sex
Co-writer: pheonixshadow
Genre: Romance, Drama, Humour, Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Senseless smutty drabbles about Lavi and Allen

Note: Each one of these drabbles is based on the extensive list from How I Met Your Mother, “50 reasons to have sex” from the 9th episode of the 4th season: “The Naked Man”. These themes belong to the creators of How I Met Your Mother, and by no means belong to us for anything but enjoyment.

Disclaimer: D. Gray-man belongs to its respective, copyrighted owner.

Warning: This story contains explicit amounts of yaoi – homosexual situations between men. Please read at your discretion. You have been warned.

Theme: Because You Can’t Get to Sleep
Rating: Hard R

Insomnia sucks.

That was the only thought repeating incessantly in Allen’s mind as he stared up at the near pitch-dark ceiling above his head. Pitch-black shadows played on the pale white walls of the bedroom, the sounds of a nearby siren in the distance reminding him constantly that, yes, he was awake, and yes, he couldn’t go to sleep.

And it was already 3 a.m.

He hadn’t even batted an eye when he had crawled into bed with his lover of six years at exactly 10 p.m. yesterday. It was already a new day, and he hadn’t slept once. He was tired, he knew. His body was sluggish and he would oh so often yawn loudly. But that was it. There were no heavy eyelids drooping over his wide-awake eyes. There was no chanting in his mind to lull him to sleep.

There was nothing; just the one thought that he knew that if he heard for another long minute, he would go crazy:

Insomnia sucks.

Allen sighed loudly, tossing around on his side of the bed as Lavi slept soundly asleep, his light snores more of an annoyance now, almost as if Lavi was rubbing it in that he could fall asleep and Allen couldn’t on this warm summer night.

Tired of moving around since it seemed to add nothing to his lack of sleepiness (except raise his body temperature up a few degrees), Allen clawed over at the night table, his hand pounding on the hard wood for the electronic clock. Anything to tell him that at least one hour had passed since his brain had oh-so-kindly reminded him that he had insomnia for the forty-sixth time.

3:05 a.m.

…Only five minutes had passed.

Cursing his sleep deprivation, Allen placed the clock back on the night table and blew out another heavy sigh.

What to do? What to do? his mind questioned as he glanced over at Lavi who’s chest rose up and down in slow, peaceful breaths. Allen’s eyes narrowing slightly, he tapped Lavi lightly on the shoulder, wondering if the redhead would react to it in any way.

He didn’t.

Pouting, Allen tapped harder.

Still no response.

Giving up, Allen whispered, “Hey, Lavi.”

Still no response.

“Lavi, wake up.”

Still no response.

“Hey, Lavi, do you want to do it?”

Suddenly, Lavi’s eyes snapped open, his head swivelling around like some robotic antennae. “Huh? Hm? What? I’m up, I’m up.”

Allen smirked. If his mind was the only thing that refused to let him sleep peacefully, then so be it.

“Lavi…,” Allen whispered huskily, his magic fingers working their way underneath Lavi’s elastic-waist cotton pants. “I. Need. You. Right. Now,” Allen enunciated seductively, his eyes glinting with newfound lust in the beautiful glitter of moonlight, which seeped in through the curtains.

Allen was playing coy with Lavi’s sleepy state, his skilful fingers snaking their way from underneath his pants to his lover’s well-formed abdomen, the mere tips hot with the idea of spontaneous sex. Without even a second to lose, Lavi’s pyjama top was torn away at the buttons, Allen’s lips pressing gently at each individual spot those buttons would’ve draped over, neither going too fast nor too slow.

He was going to enjoy this, dammit, even if Lavi begged him to go fast and hard. He would take his time with this little game.

“A-Allen…,” Lavi breathed, feeling his lover’s forward personality finally kicking in to high gear. He could feel Allen towering over him, marking his sensitive skin with too soft kisses and too slow, sensual touches. There was no roughness that he loved. No aggression that Lavi craved. There was nothing but soft and sweet kisses, and the constant teasing that Allen was known for in their relationship.

“Allen, don’t you-” But before Lavi could say another word, he felt Allen’s hardening erection against his thigh, teasing as he rubbed it up and down against Lavi’s leg.

“Shhh,” Allen lulled, his hand stroking through the fabric of Lavi’s pants at his hardening crotch. “Let me handle it all, Lavi.” He smirked. “Or you know what awaits you.” Allen pressed another soft kiss on Lavi’s neck, planting butterfly kisses all across his lover’s collar bone as he pressed his hardening crotch against Lavi’s thigh. His fingers were already working their magic, softly, sweetly, caressing Lavi’s nipples until they, too, came hard in Allen’s skilful hands.

Lavi whimpered loudly, his body groaning for more contact. More desire to get these clothes off and just make hard, sweet love to Allen right now. But he knew if he made one wrong move while Allen was like this, he would be meeting up with his midnight date very soon: the cold shower.

“Patience, Lavi,” Allen whispered, his hands dipping close enough to rip Lavi’s pants off, but not even daring to do so. Such a tease.

“Allen, I-”

“Not yet,” Allen spoke, pressing a finger against Lavi’s lips which he refused to even touch with his lips. “Not until I say so.”

Lavi could feel Allen’s hand dip underneath his waistband, the delicate fingers oh-so-softly caressing the mere length of Lavi’s already dripping erection.

“Oh, what’s this, Lavi? Don’t tell me you have no restraint?” Allen teased. His hand reached up and fondled his ball sacs, his fingers outlining their journey up to his ass. “No, no, we can’t have this at all. Are you really that impatient?”

Lavi held in a gasp at the mere sensual sensation of Allen’s fingernails faintly scratching against the engorged vein near the base of his penis, his eyes glinting with amusement at Lavi’s torture.

“A-Allen…,” Lavi could barely spit out as his lover’s tongue was now swirling around his right nipple, teasing it with a flick or two at the same time his fingers fondled and caressed Lavi’s growing erection. “Please…”

“Hm?” Allen looked up from his work, pulling away from teasing Lavi’s member. He licked away the pre-cum that had lathered itself over his hand, his tongue lapping every single drop that drizzled down the palm.

“Please, just…” Lavi shook his head, his breathing laboured at the sexy, hot sight of his lover licking his lips in a coy manner.

“‘Please’, what…?” Allen baited, his lips, shiny with pre-cum, curving upwards into a lustful smile. “What is it, Lavi?” he asked innocently, wiping his wet hand across Lavi’s lips, coating it with a thin layer of his very own saliva.

“Please…” Lavi suddenly gasped, his hard erection meeting the cool summer air without a single warning, his pants flung across the room in a split second.

“Yes?” Allen cooed, stroking the sacs as he smiled sweetly at his lover. “What is it, Lavi?”

“I…” he voiced weakly, his breath hitched.

“You…?” Allen played along, the base of his fingertips teasing along Lavi’s length.

“Just…!” He let out a high gasp as he felt Allen’s hot mouth take him in one breath, his tongue working wonders like some powerful, pumping organ. “N-Now…!” Lavi spat, his fingers clutching the bed sheets with so much power that his knuckles when white. Lavi’s toes curled with anticipation and pleasure as he could feel Allen’s tongue licking away every single drop of pre-cum that dripped out from the tip of his cock.

Allen could be such a provoking bastard.

“What was that?” Allen questioned, suddenly rubbing his finger around Lavi’s entrance. “Was that an order, Lavi?”

Lavi whimpered, his head shaking back and forth furiously as to not stop Allen.

“Good. Now where was I? Or rather, where do you want me, Lavi?” Allen inquired, his finger circling around Lavi’s entrance rather coyly. “In”- he dipped his pinky in for just for a second where Lavi nearly threw his head back against the headboard- “or out?” And Allen pulled out, leaving Lavi suddenly feeling very cold and empty. “Which one, love?”

“I-In…!” Lavi nearly screeched with impatience. His heart hammered loudly in his chest as each breath that left his lungs came out in a ragged rasp, almost as if he was on the verge of dying.

“Okay…” Allen obliged, pressing his hot, fully clothed erection against Lavi’s wet one. Without any sign or warning, Allen pumped a finger into Lavi’s hot, tight entrance, taking pleasure from the gasps and moans of pleasure and pain from his lover. “You love it rough, don’t you, Lavi?”

Lavi groaned, whimpering for more ill treatment. For more pleasure. For anything that would take away the heat building up in his body that begged to be released.

“More!” Lavi begged, pushing himself deeper in to accept Allen’s mere fingertips, to press himself closer against Allen’s hardening erection. His hands reached over to pull the younger man’s pants off; however, Allen merely shook him off, his other hand giving Lavi’s cock a hard squeeze.

“Didn’t I say to have patience, Lavi?” Allen spat out sweetly as he inserted another finger in Lavi, the muscles stretching and smoothening from the crude intrusion. Allen’s fingers fell into a deep rhythm, pulling in and out in a way that made Lavi moan and groan with thirst for greater pleasure.

The way Allen stroked and squeezed his cock; the way Allen was able to probe into him while giving way to more pleasure than pain – all Lavi wanted now was to have the kid fuck him until all he was able to do was scream his lover’s name.

“A-Allen…! Ah!” Lavi gasped as his lover inserted a third finger, pumping, stretching, and reaching in to give that small burst of incredible, blinding pleasure. But that’s all it was. Reaching. Allen knew not to touch there, yet. Lavi would explode with euphoria, and all his little foreplay would be for nothing.

But he wanted it as much as Lavi wanted it. His cock ached to be shoved into Lavi’s entrance, wishing for that hot tightness that would pool all of his body heat to his nether regions. He wanted to fuck the brains out this redhead who was able to sleep while he couldn’t even bat one eyelash!

His fingers coming out of Lavi in a soft pop sound, Allen smiled, pulling away from his lover from the bed. He didn’t spare a moment taking off his pants, now practically bare before his lover. His erection was evident, pre-cum dripping from the base of his penis.

He needed it now more than ever!

“On your stomach, Lavi,” Allen ordered, crawling back into bed as he parked himself right behind Lavi’s reddening entrance. Lavi’s ass up to his chest, Allen bent down and licked away at the entrance, his fingers caressing and stroking Lavi’s cock in pure tease much to Lavi’s dismay.

“Just fuck me already, Allen!” Lavi cried, throwing his head back in torture. His body shuddered to Allen’s hot fingers swirling around the tip of his dick, his mind blurring at the thought of how utterly sexy it must be for Allen to lick away at his entrance, his hot, wet tongue pushing in and out seductively.

“Say my name, Lavi,” was Allen’s only answer where he proceeded to fondle Lavi’s sacs.

“A-Allen! Ah!”

“Say it again,” Allen replied, pressing his hot, hard, wet member against Lavi’s thigh.

“Ah! Ah-Ah-Allen!”

“Again.”

“A-Allen! Ah…!”

Allen smirked, letting his tongue run itself up Lavi’s spinal cord, his member rolling up Lavi’s thigh towards his ass. “This may hurt, baby,” he cooed, letting his hard cock linger right at the entrance. “But I know how much you love it.”

And in it went, fast and hard that sent Lavi crying out from pleasure and raw pain. The heat pooled further into his nether regions, the pain radiating from the bottom of his back. But the fullness of Allen’s cock in him – oh, god, how good it felt!

“F-Faster…,” Lavi was barely able to breathe, his body yearned for Allen to go deeper and harder and faster – just do something to him!

“Nngh!” Allen was already gripping onto Lavi’s hips, pulling in and out with such unpredictable rhythm that the tightness seemed to increase even more as he pushed in and yanked out of his lover. Lavi was so tight. So hot and tight! Damn, serves him right for always topping!

“Ah!” Lavi gasped. Allen’s poundings into him were so exhilarating that it nearly set him over the edge. He could already feel the pre-cum dribbling out from his penis, the fluid dripping all over the sheets and his thighs, but he didn’t care. Just to feel Allen in him, as if they were one being where their cries were held in unison – it was enough. Enough!

“Crap, Lavi, I think I’m-” He didn’t even have to say the end of that sentence as Lavi could feel Allen’s fluid explode in him, the hot liquid drowning away every comprehensive thought in both their minds. Their breaths lay in unison as Allen pulled out of his lover, collapsing on top of him from their heavy workout. Both were drenched in sweat and cum, but it wasn’t over yet, Allen knew.

Pulling himself together (as much as he could, anyway), Allen took in Lavi’s whole, still hard, erection, sucking away at it like it was life’s juices. His tongue, unable to be controlled by his mind anymore, moved by his pure appetite for lust for Lavi’s hot, sexy, sweaty body. His teeth toyed with the shaft, his tongue drinking the pre-cum that seemed endless on Lavi’s end.

Lavi groaned, his fingers wrapping around Allen’s messy head of hair, urging the younger man to take more of him in, to relieve more of the pressure in his crotch that only seemed to get more turned on by Allen’s ministrations.

“Ah! A-Allen…! A-A-Ah!” Lavi cried out as he felt Allen’s fingers probing into him once again, giving Lavi all the pleasure that he could give.

“A-Allen, I’m gonna-” He didn’t need to say it. Allen, without any hesitation, drank and sucked every bit of Lavi, savouring the bittersweet taste of his lover, only gained through senseless foreplay and hot lovemaking.

His tongue lapped away every bit of cum before he crawled to his boyfriend, his knees and elbows shaking as he took Lavi and pressed a soft, sensual kiss on his lips.

“’Night,” Allen bade with a satisfied smile before pressing his head against Lavi’s shoulder, his mind tired enough to sleep and give him the best rest he would ever remember.

…Well, until tomorrow night, anyway.

XXX

Because You Can't Get to Sleep- Fin

XXX

A/N: This was actually my first smut writing ever, so it's not too bad now, is it? *worried*

But anyway, this is a little pet project by me and pheonixshadow where were spoke on MSN for, like, three hours or so for a good PWP Lavi x Allen one-shot, and well, we got the idea to do 50 PWP one-shots (that's right! FIFTY!) about this couple since there isn't enough Lavi x Allen or Allen x Lavi smut on this site. Hope you don't mind that my writing is really terrible for this type of writing. This is just my way of learning how to write good lemony scenes for my Lavi x Allen stories, so please bear with me if they suck.

Just so you know, every chapter will be rated accordingly from light R to medium R to hard R. So please be aware of the ratings and I hope you enjoyed the first one. Um, review? *It helps this poor author's self-esteem issues on writing smut*

Next theme: Make-up sex