Lily's Morning - II

I'm so unsure of what to say or do right now. Here I am staring James Potter in the eye and all I can think about is how the sunlight is catching in his eyes and they seem to have sparkles in them. It's truly a funny sight. I feel like I should be laughing, but I'm not. Why is my heart beating so quickly though? My eyes travel down away from James's face to his outstretched hand. What am I suppose to say?

Flying has never been a talent of mine, and it's not like I get a lot of chances to do it. It might be fun. But then, this is James Potter, the boy who did three consecutive loops on our first day of flying lessons the second he got into the air. I'm not sure I could handle riding with him. Maybe if I asked him, he wouldn't do those stunts. Though wouldn't he try and show off? What am I saying, of course he would, when has he not tried to show off to me? I can't even remember a time he was this nice before. Which brings the question out, why is he being so nice? Is it an act or is he being truly genuine right now. Oh!, this would be so much easier to think about if I wasn't so close to laughing from how innocent he looks right now!

I'm trapped in my thoughts. Luckily, James breaks me free.

"Come on Lily." His voice is soft. I look up from his outstretched hand to his face and without another moment of thought move my own hand up and take his. In an instant his is wrapped around mind and I'm being pulled onto the broom right behind him.

"Don't let go," He says and then pushes off. I'm not ready!

"Wait!" I gasp in shock. My actions haven't quite caught up with my brain yet it seems. I thought I wasn't hanging on, but now I realize both my arms are wrapped around James's chest.

"What is it?" James asks stopping in mid air. Great, now he knows I'm a nervous flier.

"No dangerous tricks. Please." I might as well ask now.

"Sure thing Evans." he replies and we start moving again. When did he switch from calling me Lily?

If you have ever been flying, then you'll know what I mean when I say my mind has just gone blank. If you haven't then let me just say, there is nothing like this sudden feeling I'm having. I can't feel the ground beneath me, or even the pull from it's gravity. We are rising higher into the air and the only thing I feel is the wind flowing around us and this strange squeeze in my stomach. It's not an 'I'm sick, I have to hurl' feeling, just a small pit inside me where my muscles have all loosened. It must be this slack feeling that makes one feel weightless.

The air is a lot cooler up here. James turns us out of a head wind and swoops down at an angle so we go right over the Qudditch field walls. Hogwarts looks much more majestic from up here. Everything does actually. The sunlight is dancing on the lake illuminating the horizon with a mesmerizing glow. How come James doesn't seem as entranced by it as I am? It is amazing though.

"Oh wow," I can't stop the words from coming out as we dive down towards the water. "It's beautiful!" I can feel James's stomach muscles pulsing beneath my arms and I know he's laughing at me, but I don't care right now. This is the most fantastic thing. If I reach down with my feet I wonder if I could touch the water?

"Going back up, hold on!" James calls to me. I turn my head from the water just as he kicks up our speed and angles the broom up towards the viaduct bridge. I'm not prepared. I close my eyes, feeling like I'm going to fall backwards I tighten my grip around Potter's waist. I bump into his back. I can feel him react, his muscles tighten, but he doesn't loose control. Good thing he is the one flying.

I can feel us begin tilting to the left and I take a deep breath, then open my eyes. James is spiraling us up around one of the larger towers of the castle. The sunlight dances around us as we ascend above the castle. I have to dart my head away when we pass a window that's reflecting the light. The wind begins to whip at us more as soon as we go over the rooftops.

We're up so high now, I can barely keep calm. My heart is beating so fast and I know I'm squeezing James tightly, but he hasn't said anything about it and I really don't want to let go. I'll fall, I know I will. A strong cold wind begins to blow on us and James tilts the broom down and rushes us beneath it.

"You okay back there Lils?" James asks me over his shoulder. How he can manage that and keep us steady is beyond my understanding.

"Can we go back now?" I ask, my voice shaking as I try to speak. "And don't call me Lils." I say this just fine, isn't that odd. Seriously, how can he stand me? James nods his head then pulls us back up and heads back towards the Quidditch field. Everything is emitting this radiant glow from the light of the early sun. It looks so warm and yet the air is still so cold. Something moves out of the corner of my eye and I turn my head to look. Three owls are flapping past us and appear to be making their way away from the castle. I guess we aren't the only ones up early. James takes us back over the Qudditch field wall and continues flying us higher. I said bring me back, the jerk!

"I want to get off." I speak straight into his ear. We're still going up. What does he think he's doing? I can feel his stomach muscles pulsing again, he's enjoying this! I should have known he'd do something like this. This isn't fair, I can't exactly get off on my own accord. I can not believe I put my trust in James Potter, I should know better.

"Want to touch the goal?" James breaks through my mental scolding.

We are not moving anymore, he has stopped us next to one of the Qudditch goals. They're a lot larger than I would have guessed from the stands. Why is it nothing is as you perceive it once you get a closer look?

I take a deep breath, then lean ever so slightly to the left. I really have no clue why I am bothering to touch the goal post, it is just a piece of metal after all. It's going to be cold. My fingers stop just short of reaching my intended target. I can't take my eyes off of the ground below us. Why is the ground so far below us? Oh for Godric's sake, how did I let myself get talked into this?! I just wanted some time to myself this morning, I should have never agreed to come with James. Why did I? I pull back at the thought, shutting my eyes. I need to think.

"Evans?" James asks, I can tell by his voice he's slightly startled by my retractive reaction.

Just let me think Potter, I need to sort through my thoughts, there's too much going on in my head right now.

I know my breathing has quickened, I can't help it, I'm nervous, and scared, and now that I've thought about why I wanted to come outside this morning, I'm upset too! I don't want to be here anymore. Why can't I feel happy here anymore? This isn't fair! Oh no, not now, please eyes, don't start crying again! Stop it! I need to clam down. I don't want to cry, but I can't hold the rush of tears back.

"Lily?" James asks again, this time his voice is filled with worry. I don't have the energy to speak. I want to stop crying, but my chest keeps heaving and the tears just keep coming. Why can't I stop myself? I'm so ashamed. I rest my closed eyes against the back of James's shoulder. I don't even care, he can yell at me for getting his sweater wet if he wants.

WOAH! What's going on?! I reflexively tighten my already tight grip. Something is going on with the broom. My stomach is lurching and tightening, the wind is brushing upwards against me. Wait, upwards? Oh, James must be bringing us down to the ground.

"Just brilliant Lily, you got Potter's attention. Now he's worried and will want to talk about what's wrong." I scold myself again, feeling both ashamed and angry with myself. I hold my breath and begin to brace myself for what I know will come next.

Next two chapters will begin Severus's and Remus's mornings. We shall return to Lily afterwards, so long as I don't start James between now and then. - look forward to your reviews.

- umi