Hope you are enjoying the story, welcome back to Lily. I'll need some time to get the other chapters done, this is the last one of my previously written ones. Thanks for reading and enjoy, I'd love to hear your reactions and thoughts in reviews! - umi

Lily's Morning - III

"It's okay, we're on the ground now." James says as both our feet touch down on the grass. He lets the broom drop to the ground. I can't move, I'm too upset and I still haven't recovered from the fear of being up so high.

"Lily," James speaks softly, he brushes his hands over where mine are linked around his chest. "I'm... didn't mean too-" he cuts off. I can feel him take a deep breath.

His fingers clutch mine and pull my hands from their grasp around him. I don't blame him. I'd feel awkward in his position too. He doesn't even know why I'm crying, which has to have him confused and apprehensive about what to do and say now so not to make it worse. Wait, did I just empathize with him? Okay Lily back to the situation at hand. I've just broken out into tears with the one person who I can't actually talk about why I'm upset to begin with looking at me like he wants to give me a hug. I- I could use a hug actually. But I don't want one from James Potter! That would just make me feel worse. Now it is my turn to take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry-"

"just a thought-" James mumbles staring at his feet, I'm not sure if he even heard me. He has adverted his gaze from me completely. Just great, I finally get him to stop paying attention to me and I don't even feel that good about it. I swear he has made this whole situation more complicated than it really should be. Just say what you want to say!

At least my eyes have stopped streaming tears. I wipe my sleeve across my face several times. The cold air has my cheeks feeling chilly so my sleeve is a nice brush of warmth on them.

There, I actually feel somewhat better. I just needed a short cry and recovery. If only James wasn't mumbling like a manic, he's even started walking back and forth in small circles. Perhaps I should tell him that it isn't him that upset me, but I just won't talk about it any further with him.

"It wasn't your-"

"you might enjoy-" he interrupts me, mumbling again. Why does he keep doing that! Did he even hear me? I'm trying to tell him not to blame himself and he wouldn't even pay attention to me long enough for me to do so. He has a very strange way of showing concern, I swear.

"cuz you don't fly-"

What is he going on about? I don't fly. Well of course I don't fly, but why does he think that has anything to do with why I was crying?

Well okay, sure, we were up in the air at the time, and yes, I did freak about being up so high from the ground, but what person wouldn't? I mean honestly? Was my behavior really that unexpected to him? Now I'm feeling slightly guilty, and why should I! He is the one who asked me to fly with him in the first place. It is his fault for asking.

... Course I didn't have to accept. Ugh! I really do not need this happening right now!

I still have not said anything. He must think I'm completely mental. Oh, why-

"Why does everything have to be so complicated?-" I had not meant to say that aloud, I turn away from James quickly. My thoughts really have me flustered. I speak up again, this time with full intention. "I'm sorry, what a ridiculously absurd question to ask someone."

"Especially before breakfast."

Wow, and I thought what I just said was absurd. I don't believe this, only moments ago I was crying, and now, now I'm laughing! How can one person inflict so many different emotions on me at once?

Well, I guess it isn't fair to blame him for why I cried, or why I've been depressed. No, the boy who gets that blame is Severus. Oh, just thinking his name starts to get me depressed. And James staring at me like I'm a magical creature he's never seen before is not helping.

I feel so self conscious when people stare at me when I know my facial expressions are the cause. I wear my emotions on my face, I can't help it. I always have. I'm not good at keeping things inside in a way that no one can see what I'm feeling on the outside. That's the only thing I can give James Potter here a compliment on, because honestly, I have no clue what he is thinking while he is looking at me like that. But at least now I know he's paying attention to me.

"I wasn't crying because of you, or anything you did." Well at least I cleared it up for him. Though I can't say I feel better. Why don't I feel better?

Did we both just sigh at the same time?! Okay, that's slightly weird. Now what do I do. Wait! Did he notice what I noticed? Why is he smirking like that? Oh who cares, I'm probably better off not asking.

Well at least the air is starting to warm up, my face isn't cold anymore.

I wonder what time it is? Just how long has it been since we left the castle? Surely it couldn't be time for breakfast, but it has to be getting close I should think. Well no use standing around here pondering over it, the only way to find out is to walk back to the castle. If only I wore a watch.

My feet start moving, thank goodness, at least the shock has worn away from my limbs. Speaking of shock, did I miss the lightening strike? How is it James Potter has managed to stay quiet all this time? Is he trying to make me loose my mind or something?

I never thought I would say it, but I wish he would say something. It's kinda creepy with him just standing around looking at me, not saying anything. At least when he does speak I'm not left guessing what is going on in his mind, he pretty much just blurts it all out. I always thought he couldn't help himself.

Now, I'll be sure to point out that he can if he starts that back up again. Really the things he can say sometimes. Like asking me to fly! What was he thinking when he asked me that anyways?

But actually I did enjoy the flight.

I've already passed James. And it's a good thing he is behind me, I can smile slightly without him making a huge fuss. I close my eyes. It is all there to see, perfectly clear; the glistening light dancing on the lake, the glow around the castle as we spiraled around it, the quidditch goals growing larger as we approached.

The goal. I stop. I know, I know I should just continue on my way into the castle and forget about this whole confusing morning. But I was so close, if only I hadn't looked down. I admit, I hadn't really given much thought to the fact that we were up so high. Do not ask me why I reacted that way, it seems sort of silly, now. I mean, I wouldn't have fallen. James knew what he was doing, he wouldn't have let me fall. I know that now.

It was rather exhilarating. But,... I really should just keep walking towards the castle, it is right in front of me. I just have to walk out the gate and cross the grounds. But,...The broom is still on the ground, that's excuse enough to walk back. I can act like I just want to place it properly while I figure this out in my head real quick. Do I want to risk it though?

"Evans?" James questions me from behind, startling me. That's the second time this morning! I turn and face him. There he is standing right where I left him, hands in his pockets, shoulders back, head tilted with that slight smirk on his face.

Well If I was ever going to ask, now is the best time I suppose.