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: B s . A A A    : full 3/4 1/2   : E E   : Light Dark Games » Kingdom Hearts » An Early Bird

Hyuuga's Winged Guardian
Author of 13 Stories

Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Axel & Roxas - Published: 02-15-09 - Complete - id:4865992

Disclaimer: They belong to Square Enix, unfortunately. And the song belongs to Phil Collins.

Author’s Notes: My friend said that my current Aim status (which is lyrics from Phil Collin’s song ‘Can’t Stop Loving You’) was inspirational, and suggested that we both write fics based on it. Yeah… Happy Belated Valentine’s Day. I haven’t written AkuRoku in forever, so this may be quite rusty. This is horrible. OTL

Notice: This story takes place after they are reborn and remember their lives as Organization XIII members.

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So you’re leaving in the morning on the early train…”

-

It would’ve been a bittersweet, empty feeling.

The kind that sweeps over you in a second and leaves you with a horrible sensation in the pit of your stomach, as if something was waiting to crawl out and attack you. Sure, it was unpleasant, but not to the extent that it became completely unbearable.

A crisp, morning breeze took its place during the sunny day, biting into the edges of his pale, pasty skin, and the male pulled his jacket closer into himself. His suitcase hung low and heavy in his grip with a sweaty palm struggling to make it more suitable for travel and the other hand preoccupied with casualties for this leave. Shifting his position on the platform, he awaited the screeching of the train to come and take him away to somewhere far, far beyond this place.

With the memory of leaving the apartment at dawn rising in his mind, the inevitable whimper escaped his lips at the very prospect of what might happen of his beloved found out before his body was actually in the train. He didn’t like to think about these things very much, if you couldn’t tell. These type of things made time go slower and filled your brain with even more anxiety than it should.

He took a deep breath in, resorting to tapping his foot against the ground to pass the slowly ticking seconds; his eyes flickered to the electronic screen nearby at the shelter: nine more minutes. Tousled blond locks shook with the wind and his pink tongue swiped against his bottom lip to remember the taste of yesterday, which (to his benefit) lingered despite the many hours behind its source.

So little people to cover him, so much time. It wouldn’t take long to go from his home to the train station. Damn you, convenience.

“Roxas!”

Said person spun around to see a tall figure running up to him, red hair making him stand out in more ways than one. He groaned – this was not supposed to happen. However, he shivered at the tone his name was spilled out with and could practically mimic the redhead’s future actions with such an ease that he would win an oscar for that accurate dramatization.

“Axel, wh-“ His own curiosity was cut off by the glare fixed onto him. As cliché as it was to say this, it was boring into his soul. Literally. Roxas was half-tempted to drop his bag and run, but the attempt would be futile, seeing as the other’s long legs made him more versatile and adaptable to speeding across distances.

“Fuck,” Axel tried to regain his breath as his gaze bent downward onto the concrete ground with a bitter laugh ripping itself out, “Just like that.”

The whirring of the arriving train deemed itself inconsequential as the two lovers stood in front of each other with nowhere else to look but straight ahead. Roxas’s blue eyes quickly scanned over to the orange, electronic lettering nearby; one minute.

Having gulped down whatever saliva was touching the walls of his mouth, Roxas abruptly found his throat dry and unable to produce any sound at Axel’s piercing words. Although the taller male’s gaze was not facing him, guilt wormed its way into Roxas’s heart and he was barely able to keep himself glued to the floor looking at Axel with such worry that the left side of his chest stung.

Trees from the nearby park had their leaves shed slowly, auburn and sunny colors drifting down to sprinkle the pristine green grass it laid upon.

“Friday the thirteenth is a perfect day out of any,” Roxas replied with a slight waver, seeming to keep himself together at the statement.

The casual tone of that sentence was enough to catch Axel off guard, and his teeth ground themselves against each other in his mouth, hands fisting themselves together. His own mind was caught between screaming and breaking down like this heart had given him the choice to do; sometimes he thought he was better off without one. Immediately, his hardened exterior demolished itself when the silent pleading of his lover’s words was understood, though not willingly.

“You couldn’t have said goodbye,” The intended question had formed itself into a soft statement and Axel wondered where this was all coming from, “You were just going to leave.”

Streams of words articulated themselves in a stiff manner, slicing into the awkward silence that appropriately placed itself in the situation along with the revelations Axel just made. Axel half wished that he had bangs now so that his eyes could be hidden away from Roxas’s full knowledge of his thought process, even more so than himself.

Roxas watched the small sequence of actions with a cautious outlook, mentally preparing himself for anything that could happen. A small part of him desired to be begged back, but the other, more sensible part knew that Axel had too much pride in himself to give into the burning need imprinting in his mind. The brown, rugged suitcase beside him remained forgotten and the train was boarding its passengers behind him. Roxas couldn’t help but think about how his expensive train ticket was going to waste, but the circumstances called for itself to be claimed as more important at the moment, which, frankly, Roxas did not disagree with.

“It would’ve been harder if I saw you awake and aware,” A confession left, barely able to sew itself so the statement would not turned out as cracked as Roxas hoped it wasn’t, “I thought it would’ve been easier if there wasn’t an attachment at the turning point.”

This made Axel laugh his breath away. Roxas had to try and remember how to breathe even though the noise had laced itself with sadness, anger, and a bittersweet dip. Though Axel didn’t make any accusations at the blond, Roxas found that harder to swallow than being blamed, because then he would’ve had a reason to hate something instead of feeling empty pity.

It was funny how in their previous life , they wished to feel when they couldn’t; now that they could, they wished they didn’t. It was very confusing in a sense that they were now human, in flesh and blood, existing on this planet like every other person along with them. Foreign as this all became, Roxas spilled words as fast as lightning would strike, and whether Axel would think of these as a run-on list of excuses was not his current worry.

“Destiny already pre-determined that this was how we would always end up,” Roxas reasoned, his voice so soft that Axel could feel his will crumble, “Like our last life, if you could call it that.”

“We were Nobodies!” Axel exclaimed incredulously, laughing in part because if he didn’t, he would cry, “That was before. We only repeat the same patterns if we don’t realize our mistakes, Roxas.”

All the fury that was pent up in his heart was being released, and he was making damn sure that Roxas felt every edge of it.

“We are not like that anymore. You cannot blame everything on not having a heart and not being able to know how it should go because, fuck, you do have one right now. Isn’t it beating in that chest of yours? Well, I would hope it is because it’s probably the only one you’ll ever get,” Spit fire after spit fire, Axel mused to himself, mentally chuckling at the irony of how his powers were associated with his word choice. As soon as it had appeared, the flame burnt out and left smoke, “Don’t make the same mistake with your second chance.”

In all honesty, he couldn’t find it in himself to even care in the slightest bit that Roxas had missed the train and spent money on a worthless ticket, and that he himself was the cause; actually, the redhead felt accomplished at the fact.

Roxas, shocked at this realization, had no reply. This silence went on for a few minutes, neither one of them finding anything to rekindle the rift that had just been made until Axel, in a new state of quiet, piped up with an uncharacteristically soft suggestion.

“Let’s go to the park,” He made a motion for Roxas to follow him with his right hand, spinning his heel to walk out of the station.

The blond followed suit, forgetting about the train ticket and his intention of going elsewhere, although he remembered the lone luggage that stood witness to the chain of events. Tugging it along at his side, Roxas struggled to keep up with Axel’s fast pace; being shorter and weighed down took its toll in the late morning, which was anything but lazy. Luckily for him though, their destination was nearby – about two blocks away. His footsteps lightly tapped themselves on the ground as he ran to catch up, careful not to slide onto any of the dead leaves and trip.

Out of his mind and into space, he absentmindedly continued forward until he was halted at the feeling of clothing hitting his face, looking up to see that Axel had abruptly stopped at the place where the most trees grew and the ground seemed to be made of orange, yellow, and brown. It would’ve been beautiful if this was an ordinary day with ordinary people, but Axel and Roxas completely contradicted that word, therefore it wasn’t a moment of appreciation.

“Don’t you remember?” Axel murmured as he looked up at the falling leaves; the question remained rhetorical.

Roxas followed the other’s direction and looked up with him, toward where everything gently fell into place instead of crashing, and he wondered why he couldn’t be like that. His eyes gave a soft glow in acknowledgment to this environment, silently thanking for the right timing.

“We used to go to Twilight Town,” The blond muttered, watching the events unfold in front of him without his imput, “Just for the autumn leaves.”

The message immediately got across and they both just looked on as spectators, witnessing nature at its finest moments in life.

“I don’t like calling it autumn,” Axel cut into the comfortable silence, still looking ahead as Roxas turned to him with curious eyes. He quietly continued as if he didn’t want to disturb the tranquility all that much, “I call it Fall.”

“And why is that?” The blond asked, really not knowing the answer. He looked ahead, to the drifting leaves, and thought that maybe it was related to them; autumn was a time for warm colors, warm hearts, and warm lovers.

Axel hummed and refused to look Roxas in the eye, for the fear that swept over him was great.

“Because it’s the only way I know I’ll have you.”



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