Author: flooj9235 PM
Written in first person. KotOR1. To relieve some stress, the crew decides to have a party. No one expects someone to spike the drinks. What happens when a drunk Bastila wants to talk with Kat? Femslash, FRevan/Bastila. UPDATED AND SMUTTY VERSION ON AO3.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Adventure - Revan & Bastila S. - Chapters: 17 - Words: 47,810 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 07-11-09 - Published: 02-15-09 - Status: Complete - id: 4866578
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN: Well, this was a completely random idea I had a while back. I was only experimenting writing in the present tense, really, but then I just kept writing and writing... And this story has kinda grown to be my baby. =] So, I figured I'd let y'all read it and see what you think.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the original storyline.
I know, this isn't going to have the characters as canon. But that's no reason for anyone to jump on my back. Creative writing is just that: creative. I believe that I, as the writer, am allowed to take liberties. So don't flame me over that.
Reviews are welcome, but be forewarned that I don't appreciate flames. You flame me, you'll be on my bad side quicker than you can say "archipelago." Other than that, enjoy the story. =]
I walk into the commons area, glancing around at my friends. Why we're having a party, I don't know, but it's fine with me. I personally feel like we all need to relax a little. This mission the Jedi Council sent us on is definitely stressing me out; I can only imagine what it's doing to my crewmates.
I do a double take as I realize Mission and Zaalbar are both either very soundly asleep or passed out at the table. Carth and Canderous are talking and laughing like old war buddies, something completely opposite reality. Jolee is standing with them, a grin on his face as he listens to their stories. Juhani is standing near them, looking around quietly as she drinks some punch.
That leaves one crew member unaccounted for. My eyes search the room, immediately finding her. Bastila. The woman I've loved ever since I met her, despite her distant, sometimes frosty attitude. She's standing alone near a small array of hors d'oeuvres and a bowl of punch, sipping said punch from a small glass. Her gaze is on the floor, a soft frown creasing her forehead.
I immediately walk over to her, getting myself a glass of punch to alert her to the fact that I'm here, though I'm sure she already knows. I turn to her, studying her expression. Something seems off, but I'm not sure what. I take a sip of the punch while I think, nearly choking on it.
I stare down at the innocent looking beverage in my hand, realizing that it's more than just a fruity drink. I've had my share of drinks in my life; I know enough to tell when something's spiked with liquor. I wheel and march toward Canderous, furious all of sudden. He's the only one with enough nerve to spike anything. Besides that, Mission and Zaalbar are passed out! Apparently, Canderous doesn't realize alcohol isn't meant for kids or Wookiees.
I'm about to yell bloody murder at him for intoxicating everyone when I feel a hand close around mine. I immediately stop and turn to see Bastila gripping my hand, staring at me urgently. I see now why I thought something was different about her; she's wasted. I'm amazed that she's still on her feet until I remember that she's a Jedi. I guess sometimes it's okay to be a little less easily overcome than most other people.
Her beautiful gray eyes bore into mine, the childlike innocence of her expression making my mind go blank of all that I was about to say to Canderous. I'm captivated by her all over again. She's too beautiful for words.
"Kat," she whispers, looking as though she's struggling to get my name right. "I want to talk."
I nod, squeezing her hand gently and leading her out of the commons area, figuring that whatever Bastila has to say is something that she doesn't want everyone else hearing.
We end up standing in the middle of the women's dorm, still holding hands. I call her name quietly; she's staring at the floor again, looking as though she's sorting through a lot of confusion. Bastila's gaze snaps up and focuses on my face. There it is again, that innocence on her face. I can tell she's never been drunk before, let alone have a drink. Damn those sheltered Jedi lives.
"What do you wanna talk about?" I ask softly, amazed at the strength of my willpower; it's taking all I've got to keep myself from throwing myself on her and kissing her.
"You're really pretty," Bastila mumbles, the tips of her ears turning red. A smile creeps across her face before she continues talking. Not that it matters to me that she's smiling; I'm speechless.
"The Jedi are dumb," she says, looking away. "'No falling in love.' I couldn't help it." She starts mumbling then, and try as I might, I can't understand her. Thankfully, she seems to realize that she's mumbling a moment later and looks up at me again. "Kat, don't die. I'm scared you're going to die."
I shake my head. "I'm not going to, Bastila. Don't worry." She seems like a lost little child, scared and confused. I feel tears well up in my eyes, my heart going out to Bastila. I almost feel as though I'm violating her privacy; she's so vulnerable and she's saying what's really on her mind, something I'm sure she'd never do if she was sober.
"Come on," I hear myself saying. "Let's put you to bed." I gently guide her toward her bunk, glad that she doesn't put up a fight. She doesn't make much of a move to lay down, though. She just sits there on the edge of her bunk, holding my hand as if it's her only lifeline.
I kneel before her, staring into her glassy gray eyes once again. The bunk is low enough that I'm right at eye level with her, and for a moment I think about how wonderful it would be to stare into those eyes forever. "Bastila…" I begin, my voice trailing off into nothing.
She shakes her head, her brow furrowing as she tries to concentrate on forming words. "Kat, I don't like the Jedi beliefs," she mumbles with a little difficulty. "I don't like hiding what I'm feeling because they say it's wrong."
I gaze at her for a long moment, my heart aching with curiosity as I wonder if she's just talking nonsense. I take her free hand, the one that isn't clasped around mine, and hold it gently in mine. "What are you feeling that's so wrong?"
"I…" She pauses, looking as though she's waging an inner battle. I hazard a guess that she's battling with her Jedi-minded superego.
I already feel bad for asking my question; I know I'd better just stop and let her sleep. Following that train of thought, I pretend that I never asked the question. "Come on, Bas. Lay down." I try to ease her back onto her bed, but she stiffens and shakes her head, gripping my hands tighter.
"No." A single, firm syllable. Her eyes take on the resolve of a resolute war general. "Kat, listen." She hesitates, and in her expression, I see her break free of her Jedi teachings. "I love you," she whispers, watching me earnestly.
I feel my face go blank. That's not what I'd been expecting. Even stranger than the admission itself, I see nothing but honesty in her eyes. She actually means it.
"Ever since Taris," she continues, stumbling over her words. Her gaze is still locked on my face, watching my every reaction. "I felt like I had to hide it. But I can't anymore, Kat." A nervous smile flickers across her face. "I love you."
The next thing I know, her lips are against mine, kissing me softly with more passion and love than could fill this entire sector of space. I moan softly against her, dropping her hands and wrapping my arms around her neck. I've dreamed of this moment for what seems like forever.
I'm suddenly too caught up in kissing her to do much of anything else, and she seems to know it. Her lips still on mine, she pulls me up onto the bed beside her, her arms snaking around me, pulling me closer. Her kisses trail down my neck, but once I moan her name, she returns her lips to mine.
Her fingers deftly rid me of my tunic and before I even realize I'm naked, she's got me in her arms again, kissing and caressing me. Very soon, she's naked, too.
Soft moans and whimpers fill my ears and it takes me a little while to realize they're my own. I didn't even know Bastila knew how to do any of what she's doing to me. Not that I mind, of course. I'm in heaven, lying in her arms as she touches me, this woman I love more dearly than anything else in the entire universe.
I cry out her name when she takes me to my climax.
After what seems like too short a time, she's lying cuddled in my arms, her head on my chest. Her skin feels so soft and warm against mine that I have no trouble relaxing and snuggling closer to her.
I know what we've just done is wrong, especially since we're Jedi. Even worse, I know that I, being the sober one, shouldn't have let it get out of hand. Bastila hadn't been herself. Had she been herself, she wouldn't have ever even dreamed of doing any of what we'd just done.
I look down at her, despairing that this is the only night I'll ever have with the woman I love. She's sleeping in my arms, seemingly dead to the world. Her face is angelically peaceful, a small smile still on her face. I have a nagging feeling that when she wakes up in the morning, she won't remember anything.
My heart sinks a little. I wish desperately that she'd remember this night for the rest of her life. I know I will. With that thought hanging in the forefront of my mind, I hug her gently, tears filling my eyes. I should leave before I fall asleep.
Just as I start to detangle myself from Bastila, her arms tighten around me ever so slightly. I stop immediately, realizing that she can probably subconsciously sense my intentions, even though she's asleep. My heart drops when I realize that she doesn't want me to leave.
But I know I must. I kiss her forehead gently, using the Force to put her into a deep sleep and numb her to the hangover-induced headache I know she'll have in the morning. Immediately, her arms go slack around me. I slip out of her embrace and her bed, redressing myself quickly.
I make sure that she's covered by the bedcovers, just in case anyone comes in before she wakes and sees that she's naked. Planting one last kiss on her cheek, I walk out of the room. I already know I won't sleep at all tonight.