Cupid!

I can't walk! I'm still in bed now and it's 2pm! I had to take the day off school because I can't walk, and that bastard's gone in. Mainly because I told him to. Well...entirely because I told him to; he wanted to stay here and play at being nurse all day but I wasn't having any of that shit and kicked him out.

He'll be coming back over as soon as school's out though, and'll probably fuss over me until I shout at him or something. This'll be my last letter to you. For a while at least. Since I'm fucking done with you and your stupid fucking Valentine's and White Day and any other damn day that's about love.

I told him to take the chocolate I gave him to school and give some to the Tenth, but he refused and said it was all for him because he wouldn't share me with anyone. I don't really see what relevance that statement had, but it was sort of sweet all the same. So he left it here on my bedside table. I kind of want to open it and eat some myself, but I know he'll just sulk or something. More over the fact he didn't get to watch me eat it as opposed to me taking his present.

I'm so tired. I got like an hours sleep last night. Not that I really mind. I mean, sure I'm sore as fuck right now, but that doesn't really matter. I'll be fine. I might walk with a bit of limp or something for a few days, but I'll be fine.

We ended up doing it twice. In relatively quick succession. Even though my ass was totally caning from the first time. It hurt like fuck the second time, but it was a bit easier.

The first time was rough to say the least. And girls think they got it bad losing their virginity. We must have just kissed for like half an hour before we even did anything else. My neck's probably covered in love-bites, and I'm probably going to have to wear a scarf to school tomorrow which is going to look really weird but it's better than showing off your love-bites to everyone.

Everything went really slowly at first. I was surprised at him. He was being so restrained. I half-expected him to just throw me to the floor and do me next to the coffee table when I told him I wanted him, but he didn't, he actually did everything...right.

Sorry, Cupid, but it's time for me to show off again.

He pulled me into the bedroom and pushed me down on the bed and undressed me really slowly and kissed me absolutely everywhere he could, and it wasn't until I was completely naked and he'd admired me for a few minutes that he started taking his own clothes off.

I'd had a root around in Shamal's medical supplies in the nurse's office at school and I'd struck lucky in finding some hidden stuff that he must have forgotten about and found a whole stash of kinky stuff like aphrodisiacs and body paint and most importantly; lube. I haven’t a fucking clue why he’d stash that stuff at school, but I’m guessing the cupboard it was all in never gets used so he thought it was safe, the kinky fucker. And like hell I'm going buying that stuff myself, that's way too embarrassing.

I gave it to Yamamoto to use, and use it he did. I somehow ended up on my elbows and knees with him knelt behind me, but it was probably for the better, because he couldn't see my face when he started putting his fingers in me.

It hurt. It fucking hurt. The first finger wasn't so bad, it was just kind of uncomfortable. The second one slipped in with no problem but hurt just as bad as it had the last time, and when he decided to put a third finger in, my voice cracked slightly and he stopped moving for ages even though I told him it was fine.

He fingered me for quite a while, moving his hand really slowly but reaching as deep as he could. I think he was waiting to see when it stopped being so painful. But, really, I've got fingers wedged up ass; how is that not going to be painful?

When the idiot was finally satisfied that I was okay he flipped me over. Because he wanted to see my face was the excuse. Oh that's right, how can we make this situation even more embarrassing for Gokudera? I know, make him look Yamamoto in the eye while he's being fucked!

And then he started asking me about condoms and I just asked him if he thought I was going to get fucking pregnant. He shut up and started putting lube on his cock. I told him he wasn't allowed to cum inside, because that's just gross (and it sort of defeats the object of telling him not to bother with condoms, but whatever, like I was thinking about something like that in the middle of this), and he didn't say anything but nodded a little bit and shuffled about until he was ready.

God, I can remember the way my heart was beating in my throat. My knuckles were white from grabbing onto the bedsheets and he hadn't even put it in yet. So I dropped my head back and shut my eyes and waited for him to do it. He pressed my thighs back into my chest. And I waited.

Fuck. Me.

Anal hurts. It felt like my butt was gonna be ripped apart. I didn't think he was gonna fit, but somehow he did; I could feel him sliding all the way into me as my ass tried to accommodate for such a stupidly big fucking cock.

I'd wrapped my arms around his neck and it wasn't until later when I saw his back that I realised I'd dug my nails in so hard I'd made him bleed, and left big red scratches all the way over his shoulder blades. And he didn't say a word. Probably because I was the one in worse pain at the time.

He didn't move for a long time. He could probably feel my ass spasming because there was a fucking cock up it, so he just kept whispering my name at me and telling me to relax. Yeah, well I'd like to tell him the same thing if his butt was being torn apart.

Eventually though, fucking eventually, he started moving. It was really shallow at first. Like he was scared of hurting me, because obviously he hadn't already done that. But then he got a bit more confident and started actually fucking me. God, he was ramming in and out of me like he was digging for treasure. Obviously we were both sweaty and panting by this point and for some reason, the sound of his skin slapping against my butt was really turning me on. And the sound of his cock sliding in and out of me; it made this really wet noise and it was driving me crazy.

I yelled his name out really loudly when he finally grabbed my dick and started jacking me off whilst he fucked me. He seemed to like me saying his name so I kept saying it. It's not like I could say anything like 'harder' or 'faster' to him, because I didn't want him to do either of those things, it fucking hurt enough as it was.

I came first. Obviously. He's already proved his prowess in lasting longer than me. And this time was no exception. I wrapped my legs around his waist and arched my back so high our chests were flush together and managed to cover both our stomachs in cum; payback for all the times it's just been mine. My ass started spasming again, because my whole body tensed up, but instead of it being a bad thing this time, Yamamoto opened his mouth wide and groaned out my name in a way that made me think that my ass spasming around his cock was giving him way more pleasure than I was getting out of the situation.

And then the fucker came inside. The one thing I told him not to do. And he did. And god it felt so fucking gross. I felt it splurt out inside me, and it was really hot and when the bastard pulled out I felt it all running down my insides and out of my ass.

So there I was in a complete daze, staring at the ceiling as Yamamoto lies on top of me and breathes into the crook of my neck and thinking that wasn't there something that's supposed to make anal feel good for guys and that's why they fucking do it in the first place and why the fuck hadn't Yamamoto found the thing that makes it good, but then he rolls off me and lies down on his front next to me and puts his arm over me and whispers something along the lines of 'sorry, I'm still learning how to hit your prostate' and at first I was like, what?

But then I realised that oh wait that's what makes it good for guys so I sit up, planning on going to the bathroom to wash off all this fucking cum, but sitting up just makes more of it squirt out of my ass, and not only was that just gross in itself, Yamamoto sat up with me and stared as it happened and got all fucking horny again because he thought it was hot to watch his cum leak out of my asshole and he flipped me onto my knees and grabbed my cock and started making me hard again and then we did it from behind.

It was easier the second time, since there wasn't the same resistance in my butt, but it still hurt like fuck since I was so sore from the first time. That time however, he actually managed to not be a complete fucktard and find that magical little spot that made me see white. I'm not even exaggerating. My eyesight blurred when he hit it and I felt this electric shock through my whole body and my cock throbbed so bad I wanted to cum right then. He only managed to hit it another three times before he finished, but god it made it so much more worthwhile. I completely forgot about the pain when he started fucking into that little spot.

Explaining it is beyond words. But the fucker came inside me again, and although I was too out of it to be angry at him, I was still pissed because it made such a mess all over the bed and I'm going to have to wash these sheets when I can actually walk again.

I tried when I got up this morning, but my legs just gave out underneath me and I fell flat on my ass which made me yell out and wake Yamamoto up who got all fussy and came and picked me up and put me back in bed even though I wanted to shower, but I didn't want him to come in with me and I couldn't exactly stand on my own, so I have to wait until I can stand up without falling over till I get in the shower. I feel so gross. And sore.

Cupid, this is all your fault. Everything. My dirty bed sheets are your fault. My sore ass is your fault. My chocolate addiction is your fault. The fact he's going to come inside me every time now is your fault. The fact I'm sleeping with a guy is your fault!

You bastard. You indescribably sick fucking bastard.

Forcing me into this. Forcing me to actually like that fucking idiot. I blame you for absolutely fucking everything.

So...thanks I guess.

Yours always,

Gokudera

The end.

I haven't bothered putting any A/N's in anywhere, 'cos I just thought it would ruin the flow so...hopefully everything's been pretty self-explanatory.

I don't normally read first person fics, but obviously it was kind of needed for this one and I hope it didn't put anyone off...although if you're reading these notes that means you finished the whole fic which means that you must have liked it a little bit at least...

So uh... I don't even have anything scathing to say about anything.

How odd.

This fic's shit, I know that, but I wanted more 8059 in my library/archive (idk what it's called), so I had to write some....and I did this (about 10,000 words) in six hours yesterday afternoon. I nearly died. And I've only re-read it once.

So...ignore mistakes please. *creepy smile*

Reviews are greatly appreciated!

Peace out,

~hoshi

[Edit: The sequel to this fic can be found in my library/archive. TYL angst fic, who could ask for more.]