Chapter 4: Topsy-turvy

Life was almost back to normal, now, if Rose could count the fact that he spent most of his life in Cardiff and she spent most of hers in London. Then again, they seemed to do better talking over the phone (when he bothered to answer), and Rose went to see him nearly every weekend. He’d transferred his expertise to Torchwood Three and was still helping them pick their way through vaults and vaults of alien technology—when he wasn’t nursing his TARDIS to life.

Rose, on the other hand, had quietly refused her father’s offer to transfer her to Cardiff, saying that she had too much work to do in London. What she’d really hoped for was that the not-Doctor would start missing her, would actually call her or come visit…but he didn’t. He seemed perfectly happy to talk to her when she called, or to go out with her when she showed up, but he seemed completely engrossed in TARDIS-building. No room for Rose Tyler in that, apparently.

What ever happened to better with two?

Seven months had passed, now, and things weren’t getting any better. Still, Rose supposed that she could have tried harder, so she finally took the week off from work and headed out to Cardiff. He’d been so sweet the last time she’d visited; perhaps she was being unduly pessimistic.

“Hello,” she said, poking her head around the corner.

He’d appropriated an entire level of Torchwood’s basement for his work, and the corner the almost-TARDIS occupied was directly over a section of the Rift. She had to admit that growing his TARDIS over the Rift was a brilliant idea—a process he’d told her could take decades had taken shape over only a few months. The outside was even beginning to look vaguely coherent, box-like and solid-looking, if a bit inelegant.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded.

“Came to visit.” Rose walked into the room uninvited, glancing admirably at the box-like structure. It didn’t have doors, yet, just an opening—but it was bigger on the inside.

“Don’t touch anything.”

“All right.” She gave him a smile, but he was ignoring her again, moving through the doors and for the twisted lump of coral that seemed to house the beginnings of a time rotor. There was a monitor and keyboard attached, and he looked like he was working on the programming. Rose paused in the opening. “She’s beautiful.”

There was something beautiful, despite the half-finished construction and haphazard way parts and pieces of coral filled the control room. Standing there, she felt like she could almost touch the beginnings of a TARDIS consciousness, and it was magical.

Hope surged within her for the first time in months. Real hope.

“I didn’t say you could come inside,” he snapped, making her jump.

“What?”

He looked at her like she was an idiot. “I’m working, Rose. This is a delicate process. You could very well disturb it without knowing what you were doing.”

“I’m not exactly inside,” Rose replied, swallowing back the sudden hurt.

“Then stay where you are.”

“Sure.”

And he proceeded to ignore her, clicking away on the keyboard, entranced by whatever-it-was he was doing. She wouldn’t ask. She’d tried to draw him out like that so many times, only to run into a brick wall instead of the excited techno-babble she was expecting. Rose bit her lip, and then tried something different.

“I was thinking about getting some dinner. Want some?” It was a struggle, but she managed to keep her voice casual.

Finally, he looked up at her. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“I took the week off from work,” she answered, then had to smile at the blank look on his face. “To visit you, silly.”

“Don’t call me that.”

The sharpness of his tone deflated her response before she could get her mouth open. “That’s a term of endearment, y’know,” she finally said in a small voice. “Not ‘cos I actually think you’re silly.”

But you used to be, and I loved you for it.

“Right. I’m sorry. It’s just…”

“Working. I know.” Rose forced a smile. “I’ll bring you somethin’ back.”

He didn’t thank her.

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Walking back from the pizza shop, Rose ducked into one store and then another, taking her time and shopping. She didn’t buy much aside from a silly-looking bear she thought Tony would love, but doing so ate up the time. She had to do something other than stand there and watch him tinker all night (which she’d once have been utterly happy to do), and shopping seemed the best way out.

It was either that or chase Weevils, and she just wasn’t up to blood and violence tonight.

“Where were you?” he demanded as soon as she was back in the doorway.

“Shopping. I ordered you some pizza; it should have been here already.”

“I didn’t want pizza.”

“Sorry. You didn’t say much before I left.” Rose shrugged, noticing that he’d eaten it anyway—the empty pizza box rested on top of a box outside the TARDIS-in-progress. She held the bear up. “I got Tony a teddy. What do you think?”

He ignored the question. “I expected you back sooner.”

“Didn’t think you’d missed me,” she replied with surprise. “You seemed so busy, I figured it was nicer to stay out of your way.”

Tell me that I wasn’t in the way, and I’ll forgive you anything.

“I don’t like you wandering off like that,” he replied.

Rose blinked. “I can take care of myself, y’know. For most of the last few months, we’ve been living hundreds of miles apart. You seem fine with that.”

“Don’t wander off like that,” he repeated.

She stared at him for a long moment, unable to will away the cold command in his tone. But then she brushed it off. “Right. Well, you’ve got work to do, and I’m off to the hotel. Unless you want to come?”

“I’m busy.”

“Yep, you sure are,” she couldn’t help saying. “I’ll be off, then. Guess I shouldn’t have bothered.”

Rose had already turned to go when his sharp voice stopped her. “Stay here.”

“You could try askin’, y’know. Usually works better,” she replied gently, her heart leaping just a little. He wanted her to stay. Even if he was being an obnoxious prat about it, he wanted her, and that counted for a lot.

“I wasn’t asking you, Rose.”

Now he moved towards her, all coiled springs and coldness. She tried to meet his eyes, knowing this dangerous Doctor and having seen him before—but never having had the dangerous side aimed at her. He stopped only inches away from her, and Rose found herself looking away again and again, no matter how hard she tried to meet his focused gaze.

“What?” she managed.

“I told you to stay. That’s that.”

“I’m not your servant,” she retorted, wanting to slap sense into him. But somehow she sensed that doing so would be crossing a line, and if she did, she might never get him back.

His eyes narrowed. “You’re my companion.”

“An’ that’s the same thing, is it?” Rose snapped. “Thought I was different. That’s what you said, Doctor.”

“I’m not the Doctor.” Fury filled the brown eyes, and she’d never seen the Doctor like this. Never wanted to.

She couldn’t afford to be aware of how her dreams were dying. Just that she was beginning to hate him.

“What are you, then? ‘Cos you’re right. You’re not him. He’s better than this,” Rose shot back. “You’re not fit to be called by his name.”

The blow snapped her head around and made her stagger backwards, gaping. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined—

“I,” the not-Doctor hissed in her face, suddenly holding both of her upper arms tight enough to cause pain, “am far better than he will ever be. I am nothing like him, and you’d best accept that, Rose, because I am what you’ve got.”

“Let go of me.” It was a struggle to keep her voice steady, but she managed. The left side of her face was beginning to throb from the blow.

His smile was cruel. “No.”

“Let go of my arms,” Rose repeated, enunciating slowly. “Because even if you are what I’ve got, you aren’t what I want. So you can build your TARDIS and find someone else to show the universe to. I’m not going to be your servant, your companion, or your plaything. Get your hands off me.”

She was killing her own dreams, but he’d hardly left her a choice. Rose Tyler wasn’t about to stand by and let a man hit her just because he looked like someone she’d once—still—loved.

The Doctor’s in another universe. This isn’t the Doctor. For the first time, that was a comforting thought. He’s not like this.

“You will be exactly what I wish you to be,” he replied. Only then did she notice that he’d completely abandoned the Doctor’s mannerisms—was this what he really was?

“No. Now let go before I start screaming for help, and then the team upstairs will come and shoot you. An’ you’ve only got one life to live, so you’d best not waste it on trying to scare me.”

The darkness melted into a smile again, but this smile was still cruel. Lazily cruel. “You won’t scream. You love him too much.”

“You’re not him,” Rose snapped. “You never—”

Without warning, his hands shifted to her temples and clamped down. He looked directly into her eyes. “But you won’t remember that.”

There was a sudden, sharp intrusion—

“No!” Rose screamed, but it was too late. He was digging into her mind and there was nothing she could do to stop him.

Author's Note: Stay tuned for chapter 5 "Right Side Up" in which everything...changes. And in the meantime, please review!