The last chapter folks.

THE SEEKERS
By TIPPER

CHAPTER TWELVE: STILL AN INCREDIBLY STUPID IDEA

Ronon leaned against the tree, watching dazedly as a whole section of the planet just seemed to collapse in on itself a few miles away, a massive dust cloud forming over a crater at least a half-mile wide. It’d soon roll through the trees, blanketing the whole area in dust, but this high up, for now…for now they were safe.

Poor McKay. He was never going to find his ZPMs under all that.

He snorted, smirking slightly. Then again, he couldn’t help but feel glad that the whole place was going to be dead and buried. Whoever had turned Janus’ facility into that gold-lined death trap had been one twisted bastard.

The ground settled then, still plagued by soft aftershocks, but nothing like the terrible shaking from before. Standing on bedrock helped, it dulled the tremors.

And eventually, it stopped shaking at all.

Ronon closed his eyes in thanks.

Behind him, Sheppard was talking, speaking softly to Teyla, who had woken up groggy and with a massive headache. McKay was surely soon to follow, but, for now, he was lying on his side on a soft bed of moss, quietly sleeping off what was going to be one hell of a concussion and not a small amount of blood loss.

Lorne was also chatting away in their ears over the radio, filling them in on the progress of the medical team. From the sound of it, they’d be overwhelmed with help in just a few moments.

But for the moment, Ronon could revel in the peace of being alone with his team—all four of them together again, alive and, for the most part, well. The world felt askew any time one of them was split from the others; uneven. Like a piece of the universe was missing. Or maybe just a piece of him.

Turning, he gazed down at the other three. Sheppard was gently wrapping a bandage around McKay’s arm over the knife wound, the scientist unresponsive except for a slight furrowing of the brow. Teyla was drinking from a bottle and holding a compress to her head, her gaze locked on Sheppard and McKay.

She must have sensed Ronon’s eyes on her then, however, because she suddenly looked up at him, her lips lifting in a relaxed smile.

“You okay?” she asked.

He nodded. Yeah. “I’m good,” he replied, smiling. Sheppard glanced up at them both, and smiled crookedly.

“Yup,” he said, his voice tinged with amusement as he patted Rodney’s shoulder. “Just another day in the Pegasus galaxy, eh, McKay?”

And, with a soft groan, a weak voice answered from his bed on the soft moss, “Can we go home now?”

“Sure thing, Marcus,” Sheppard replied, smiling affectionately down at their teammate. “Sure thing.”

Ronon walked into the infirmary, nodding briefly at Keller, who was standing off to the side, speaking with the doctor she’d assigned to Rodney. Keller smiled back, and turned her gaze to the far side of the room, where Rodney and Teyla were both resting.

Sheppard was already there, sitting on McKay’s bed, laughing.

“They’ve been asking for you,” Keller nudged gently. Ronon gave her a small smile and walked on.

“I’ll admit,” Rodney was saying as Ronon approached, stabbing his blanketed foot into John’s thigh, “I didn’t get the Marcus reference before, what with the concussion, stabbing, and all the bruising from almost being buried alive in gold, but, for the record,” he stabbed the thigh again, punctuating each word, “I am not Marcus Brody!”

“Actually,” Ronon mumbled, sliding into the group and settling onto the end of Teyla’s bed. “It makes sense.” He nodded to Sheppard, who nodded back.

Rodney huffed. “It does not!”

“Sure it does,” Ronon said with a shrug. “If Sheppard’s Indiana Jones, that makes you Marcus.”

“Why kind of logic is that?” Rodney whined, trying to cross his arms, only to be frustrated by the splint on one of them. He sighed and kept them loose. “It only works if Sheppard’s Indy. And how come I’m not Sallah?”

“Because Brody’s the one who often gets Indy in trouble,” Sheppard said, grinning. “Sallah’s more Ronon. You think too much to be Sallah.”

“Indy gets himself in trouble, thank you very much,” Rodney huffed. “And I’m still not Marcus.”

“Marcus was very smart, Rodney,” Teyla said, ticking a finger. “Also, honest.” She ticked another. “And a good man. All good qualities.” She smiled at him, but he just glared in return.

“I was thinking more about how, when he tried to save the day,” Ronon added with a smirk, “he got kidnapped instead.”

“Got kidnapped alot,” Sheppard noted.

“I do not—“

“He was also very loyal,” Teyla said in a slightly warning tone, staring hard at Ronon and Sheppard.

“And clumsy,” Sheppard said with a grin. “And he had thinning hair that sort of flopped over his receding—”

“Hey!” McKay blustered. Ronon grinned—it would be the hair that bothered McKay the most.

“He couldn’t fight,” Ronon said.

“Got lost in his own museum,” Sheppard added.

“Oh that’s not fair, I don’t get lost!” Rodney muttered, kicking Sheppard again. “Most of the time.”

“He was also Indiana Jones’ boss,” Teyla put in slyly, a tiny smile on her face.

That shut them up, Sheppard looking slightly pained, while McKay suddenly grinned.

“Okay,” Rodney said, lifting his arms up behind his head on the pillow, “I’m good with the reference.”

“Now hold on….” said Sheppard.

“Quiet, Indy,” McKay mused, “I’m trying to think.”

Sheppard just breathed out heavily, giving Teyla the stink-eye. She smiled innocently in return.

“Hey,” Keller walked up, smiling at Ronon, her gaze lifting to the butterfly bandages on his forehead. “How’s the head?”

“Still there,” he replied, rubbing a hand across his nape. He had a small headache and his bruises ached, but nothing worth worrying about. He’d gotten worse in the gym. Keller had released him and Sheppard both last night after they had returned from the planet, with orders to call if they felt any more significant aftereffects from the experience. She nodded at his response, pleased.

“Good.” She switched her gaze to Teyla then, smiling more. “And how about you? You ready to get out of here?”

Teyla immediately bounced up to a seated position, “I can go?”

“I have no reason to keep you any longer. But you know the drill with head wounds.” Keller tilted her head. “Just make sure to call me if you think anything is amiss.”

Teyla grinned, already swinging her legs over the side. She stopped when she saw Rodney pouting at her from the other bed. He turned to Keller, his eyes pleading.

“What about me?”

Keller grimaced slightly, “It’s not my call, Rodney. You were in worse shape than Teyla when you were brought in yesterday, and Dr. Cole wants to keep you a while longer.”

“Oh, come on! I’ve been knocked unconscious more times than I can count! I know the drill, same as Teyla. I promise, I’ll call if—“

“You were also pretty badly beaten up, Rodney. A hairline fracture is still a break, and do you want me to remind you that you were also stabbed by a 10,000 year old gold knife?”

“Flesh wounds! Come on, please?” He smiled pathetically. “Pretty please?”

Keller bit her lip, but shook her head as she walked up next to his bed. “Still not my call, Rodney.” She brushed some of the hair up off his forehead.

He slumped. “You not being my doctor sucks,” Rodney grumped, attempting to cross his arms again as he glared up at her. “Still not happy about this by the way. I just don’t get why you can’t treat me.”

“And this is precisely why,” she said, shaking her head. “Because you know I’m a sucker when you look at me like that, and I’d be letting you go right now, even though Doctor Cole is right and you need to stay.” She smiled, leaned over and kissed his forehead, and then backed away. “Now, be good.” Turning again to Teyla, she arched an eyebrow.

“And you, remember to call me if anything—“

“I’ll remember,” Teyla promised, already pulling on a robe to cover her scrubs. Keller smiled again, gripped Rodney’s hand once, and then turned and left.

Sheppard shook his head as he watched her leave. “I’m never getting used to you and her.”

Rodney poked him in the thigh again, grinning wickedly. “You’re just jealous because your hot babe isn’t local.”

Sheppard snorted, and shrugged. “Cruel but true,” he sighed. He looked up at Teyla, who was tying the robe around her waist. “You want company heading back to your quarters?”

She grinned at him as she bent over to put on some infirmary slippers. “Absolutely. Torren should be waking from his nap, now. You can say hello.”

Sheppard jumped to his feet, looking a little less than thrilled by the prospect. “Is he still teething?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

His smile tightened painfully. “Great.”

She whacked him in the arm for that. At the end of the bed, she turned and waved to Rodney, who waved back. “I’ll be back with dinner,” she promised. “Want me to bring Torren?”

Rodney nodded, smiling.

“See you in a bit, Marcus,” Sheppard said then, patting Rodney’s shin. He lowered his voice to a whisper then, “Sooner, if Torren’s crying. I’m brave, but I’m not that brave.”

“Colonel?” Teyla stood a couple yards away, her eyebrow arched.

“Coming, coming.” Sheppard grinned at Ronon one more time before bounding after her as she headed out.

Ronon was still smiling as they left, but it fell as he returned his attention to McKay. The scientist was pouting again at being left behind, and when he looked up at Ronon, he smiled softly.

“You don’t have to stay, you know,” he said, with the voice of a man about to be abandoned. “I’m sure there are more fun things to do.”

Ronon just shrugged. Not really. He’d already gone running, had a session with the marines, and had lunch with Amelia, all of which had their own stresses. He was sort of looking forward to just sitting down now and, as Sheppard would say, chilling.

Plus, frankly, he wouldn’t go near a teething Torren if he could help it. Sheppard was more than welcome to deal with that on his own. Kanaan had looked haunted at breakfast this morning from lack of sleep. Poor, poor man. There was torture, and then there was an incessantly crying baby. Ronon would take torture any day.

“So,” Rodney said playfully, “apparently you automatically switch your gun to stun now, huh?”

Then again. Ronon sighed heavily. He should have seen this coming.

“Suppose so.”

McKay lifted his eyebrows. “Guess Sheppard’s really beginning to rub off on you, eh?”

Ronon shrugged. “Not just Sheppard.”

McKay straightened slightly, his expression hopeful. “Oh?”

“Teyla, too.”

McKay slumped slightly. “Oh. Just Teyla?”

“And Weir and Carson.” Ronon shrugged again. “And Keller. Even Woolsey, I guess. A little.”

McKay slumped even further. “Oh. Even Woolsey, huh?”

Ronon smiled slightly. “And I suppose you, too, kinda.”

McKay’s face lit up in a grin. “Really? Me? I knew it!” he wagged a finger at Ronon. “I knew I was having an influence on you! I mean, how could I not? People look up to me all the time, it’s not like it’s anything new.” He tried to cross his arms yet again, and scowled at his splinted arm for being difficult. Ronon chuckled at the response.

But he also had another reason for visiting. Shifting over to Rodney’s bed, he pulled something out of the sheath on his belt.

“I got something for you,” he said, holding the gold knife out.

“Oh my God,” Rodney breathed, reaching to take it from his fingers, all smiles gone. “Is that the same one that stabbed me?”

“No.” Ronon shook his head. “Though it’s probably from the same pile. I found it caught in my hair afterwards. Figured you might like it.”

McKay’s expression clouded over as he studied the piece, which was beautifully crafted, a perfect blend of gold and steel. But Ronon could tell McKay wasn’t really seeing it; his eyes had glazed over, his cheeks had tightened over a tensed jaw, and his lips had pressed themselves into a thin line. After a moment, with an expression as dark as Ronon had ever seen, McKay handed the knife back.

“I don’t think I can.”

Ronon’s eyebrows lifted as he took the knife. “Why not? You earned it.”

“It’s not that.” McKay’s lips twisted slightly, as if considering his words. “I just don’t know if I want anything to remember that place by. I’d sort of like to forget it ever happened.”

Ronon frowned.

“Why?”

Rodney shrugged. “Because,” he answered.

Ronon’s eyes narrowed. “Because of the woman?” he asked.

McKay grimaced. “Because of a lot of things, but, yeah, mostly because of her and her brother. I mean, I know they were bad people, Ronon. Herod I didn’t know all that well, but Raina….” He shrugged again. “I get that she was a total psychopath, Ronon. I do. She was selfish and manipulative, a pathological liar and cruel, not to mention completely crazy. She let me believe that she’d killed you, did you know that? Who does that?”

Ronon just shrugged, even though he knew McKay didn’t really mean it as a question.

“Thing is,” McKay said then, his gaze dropping to his lap, “I don’t think she was…all bad.”

Ronon frowned. “She was going to kill you.”

“She asked me to go with her.”

Ronon’s eyebrows lifted. “She what? Why?”

McKay just shook his head. Ronon’s brow knitted in confusion; why would anyone willingly ask McKay to go with them?

When Rodney looked up again, his eyes displayed the same confusion—but for a different question. “Why did she only stun you?” he asked.

Ronon shook his head. He didn’t know.

“I mean,” Rodney continued, “if she wanted me to think you were dead, why didn’t she just kill you? And why did she leave your blaster behind for you to find?”

“I don’t know.” Ronon shrugged. “She could have, but she didn’t.”

“I thought…” McKay frowned. “I was sort of hoping it was an accident. That maybe she thought she had killed you.”

“No. She would have known she didn’t kill me. She was looking right at me when she fired, and it’s not like the blaster is all that difficult to figure out.”

McKay closed his eyes, looking very tired.

Ronon tilted his head. “Why did you say that you’d hoped it was an accident? You said you already thought she wasn’t all bad.”

He looked up then, wearing that same lost expression he had in the treasure room, when Ronon had first found him.

“Because,” he said quietly, “I want to be wrong. If I think of her only as a monster, then maybe I wouldn’t feel so miserable about her dying.”

Ronon shrugged, still not understanding. “She was the bad guy, McKay. She tried to kill you, nearly succeeded in killing all of us. If I hadn’t killed her, she’d have killed you, and Sheppard and Teyla would be dead because of that.”

McKay nodded. “I know, I just….” He shook his head, lowering it.

Ronon frowned, trying not to feel angry at the fact that McKay seemed to be questioning what Ronon did.

“I just…,” McKay repeated. He frowned slightly. “She dreamt of that gold her whole life. That’s all she really wanted—it’s what drove her to do what she did. And when I saw those ZPMs, something inside me….” He shrugged. “I know what obsession is, Ronon. If you hadn’t been there, I’d be as buried as she was.” He shook his head. “Maybe I’m not sure how different we are.”

Ronon shook his head. “You’re different.”

“How do you know?”

Ronon handed Rodney the knife, placing it in his hands. “If it came down to a whole room full of ZPMs, and saving me, Sheppard and Teyla, what would you choose?”

McKay stilled, his fingers curling around the knife, his expression thoughtful.

“And what would she have done,” Ronon asked, using the same event one, “if she had to choose between all that gold and saving us?”

McKay lowered his gaze to the knife. He turned it over a few times, like a meditation. And, after a long moment, he closed his eyes.

“She would have let us die,” he said finally. He opened his eyes again. “But she would have saved her brother.”

Ronon’s brow furrowed. That’s not what he had expected to hear. He shook his head. “McKay….”

“She wasn’t all bad,” McKay repeated miserably.

Ronon frowned, giving into the anger he felt. He set his jaw. “Fine,” he snarled. “You may wish she was still alive, McKay, but I don’t. I’m glad I killed her before she could kill you, before she could stop us rescuing Sheppard and Teyla. You will not make me feel sorry for someone who threatened the people I care about.”

McKay’s eyes opened again, wide and a little surprised at the anger. “That’s not what I meant, I—“

“Then what did you mean? That you wish she had killed you? That she’d succeeded in killing all of us, so she could have her gold?”

McKay looked poleaxed. “God, no, of course not!”

“Then what?”

McKay turned his eyes away, fingers tightening around the knife. “You know what I told Raina?” he asked tightly. “I told her that I didn’t want anyone to die in that temple. And I meant it. I didn’t want her to die, I didn’t want us to die, I didn’t want anyone to die.” His fixed Ronon with a sharp gaze. “Don’t you see? People keep dying, Ronon! I don’t care if they deserve it or not, I just want it to stop! I have to believe that she was redeemable, that she was worth saving, just like I wanted to believe that Ford was redeemable, and you, and, hell, everyone. Even Todd, for Christ’s sake. I don’t mean not to be grateful, Ronon. I am. I am very, very grateful that you were there, and that you saved my life. You save my life all the time, and I know I should tell you how much I appreciate that, but that doesn’t mean I have to stop wanting people to die in front of me every God damned day! Do you get that?” A tear ran down his face after his rant, and he quickly rubbed it away with his sleeve, leaving his face even redder than it was before he began. “I want people to stop dying!”

And then he looked down at his right hand.

“Ow,” he said softly.

Ronon looked down, just as McKay opened his hand, showing a thin cut along his palm where the knife had sliced it.

Gently, Ronon took the knife from McKay, placing it on the side table. Pulling up a corner of McKay’s sheet, he pressed it against McKay’s still open hand, to staunch the blood.

“Never,” he said quietly, focusing his attention on stopping the flow of blood, “ever lecture me on what it’s like to lose people, McKay.”

Rodney winced at that, his eyes closing. “Oh God. You’re right,” he agreed weakly. “Of course, you’re right. I can’t know what you’ve been through, what it was like to lose….” He pressed his lips together, and shook his head again. “I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry.”

Ronon said nothing. He just curled McKay’s hand around the sheet so he could let go. He stood then, backing away from the bed to sit on the one Teyla had vacated. It was still warm.

“Something you need to remember, McKay,” he said quietly. “People make their own paths. She was going to kill you. I killed her first. I’d do it again. So, you go ahead and feel sorry for her, but don’t tell me I shouldn’t have killed her. It took me seven years to find a home again, to find people I care about, and I’m not giving that up for anything. I will kill anyone who tries to take the three of you away from me, understand? ” He tilted his head. “Do you get that?”

McKay was silent for a moment, but when he looked up again, he nodded.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I get that.”

“Good.”

“And thanks.” He smiled then, weakly. “You know, for saving me life. Again.”

Ronon just shrugged. But he smiled too as he fiddled with the sheets on Teyla’s bed. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Keller in the shadows, just watching. She nodded at him softly before retreating again, disappearing around the corner. He was grateful she’d hadn’t intervened.

The silence grew, becoming slightly awkward after a while. Ronon sighed, and made to stand up.

“Maybe I should go get you something for your—“

“I’m not going to change, you know,” McKay said suddenly, looking up from where he’d been pressing the sheet into his cut hand. “You’d think, after five years of constantly losing people, after Elizabeth and Carson and everyone, that I’d feel differently. Feel more like you. But I don’t. It just makes me believe more than I can…that I can stop anyone else from dying. If I just try hard enough. Maybe I can even find a way to…to bring them back. To save everyone. And I keep trying to…to….” He grimaced, looking up at Ronon again. “You know?”

Ronon just nodded.

“Do you think that’s stupid?” McKay asked, sounding almost like he was seeking his own redemption.

Ronon shrugged. And then, slowly, he shook his head. No, not stupid. Foolish, but not stupid. Truth was, it was going to make it a lot harder for McKay to survive in Pegasus, it would put him in danger, and maybe the people around him too, like he had yesterday. But it wasn’t stupid. Especially if he succeeded, and part of Ronon honestly believed he would.

Rodney sighed slightly at the lack of an answer. Ronon glanced at him, and then down again.

“No,” he said finally. “It’s not stupid. Just makes my job harder.”

Rodney stared at him, and then, slowly, began to smile. “Thanks.” Looking at the bedside table, Rodney reached out with the hand he didn’t cut and picked the knife up by the handle. He wiped the blood off on his sheets, and then held it up.

“I’m going to keep it,” he declared.

Ronon frowned. “Why?”

“Because you gave it to me.”

Ronon snorted, shrugging again. But, inwardly, he smiled. “Like I said,” he noted casually, “it got caught in my hair.”

Rodney laughed. Then, suddenly, he perked up.

“Wait a minute,” he said, sitting up straighter in the bed. “I just figured something out. You…,” he pointed excitedly at Ronon, “you said that you’d kill anyone who threatened me, Teyla or Sheppard. You put me with Sheppard and Teyla. That means I’m one of the people you care about!”

Ronon frowned. “What?”

“You like me!” Rodney grinned. “I’m your friend. We’re friends!”

Ronon’s frown deepened. “I never said we were friends.”

“Oh, but you so implied it! You said, you’d kill anyone that threatened the three of us. Three! I’m one of the three!” He was grinning like an idiot now.

“We’re not friends,” Ronon asserted. “Saying I’ll protect you doesn’t mean I like you.”

“Oh, no, you can’t take it back! No way. You said you cared. That makes us friends. You like me!” He held up the knife. “You even gave me a get well gift! That’s totally a friend thing to do.” He tried crossing his arms triumphantly, almost stabbing himself again. “We’re so friends.”

“I’m getting Cole. You’re delusional.”

“Come on, admit it! You like me!”

“Okay, I came back at the wrong time,” Sheppard said suddenly. He was standing at the end of McKay’s bed, looking a little weirded out. He was holding a bandage and a tube of antibiotic cream in one hand. “You two want me to give you some privacy?”

McKay grinned even wider, if that was possible. “Ronon likes me!” he said proudly. “We’re friends!”

“I’m happy for you,” Sheppard said, his brow furrowed. He shrugged. “Though, to be honest, I didn’t think Ronon liked you that much.”

“I don’t,” Ronon said.

“He’s just in denial,” Rodney said, still smiling away. Ronon rolled his eyes.

“He’s the one in denial,” Ronon snarled.

Sheppard laughed, moving to sit at the end of Rodney’s bed again. “Yeah, that I get.”

“Jerk,” Rodney said, kicking Sheppard in the thigh.

Sheppard just smiled and dropped the bandage and ointment on the bed. “Keller shoved these in my hand as I walked in the door. Anyone know why?”

“Oh,” Rodney said, clearly surprised. “How’d she know I cut my hand?”

“You cut your hand?” Sheppard asked, just now noticing the blood. When Rodney showed off his palm, Sheppard grimaced at the ugly but shallow cut. “How the hell did you do that?”

“I gave him a knife,” Ronon explained.

Sheppard’s eyebrows lifted. “You gave him a knife? Why?”

“Because he likes me,” Rodney stated proudly. “Proof!” He held up the gold knife, and Sheppard backed up slightly, as if afraid he was about to be stabbed himself.

“Okay, then,” Sheppard said, giving Ronon the arched eyebrow.

Ronon just shrugged. “I thought you were hanging out with Teyla,” he asked then.

Sheppard shook his head. “Apparently, Torren hasn’t been sleeping, so she and Kanaan decided to take him for a walk around the piers. A quiet walk. I was told I didn’t have to tag along.” He shrugged again.

“So you got a reprieve,” Rodney said.

Sheppard cracked a half-smile. “Yeah.”

“Walk sounds like a good idea, though,” Ronon said.

“Sure, I’m game,” Sheppard said, standing. “Some of the marines have a football game going on down on the south pier. Want to check it out? Teyla actually said she might end up down there, if Torren falls asleep. We could join them.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Ronon said. “Wanna grab some snacks in the mess on the way?”

“Read my mind,” Sheppard said with a grin.

Rodney’s face instantly fell. “You, uh, you’re leaving?”

“Can’t spend all day here, McKay,” Ronon said, shrugging. “Besides, you’ll be out soon.”

Rodney sighed miserably. Then he tilted his head. “Well, maybe I could go with you.”

Sheppard arched an eyebrow, and shook his head. “I already asked Cole again for you. She said no. Sorry, buddy.”

“She hates me,” Rodney said miserably. “Ever since that thing with the thing.” He shook his head. “If it weren’t for Jennifer, I’d just leave.”

“What does Jennifer have to do with it?” Ronon asked.

“Oh, she’d be mad if I did something that made one of her people look bad.” After he finished, he perked up. “Unless….” He grinned suddenly, looking up at Sheppard and Ronon.

“I’m not going to like this, am I?” Sheppard asked.

“If you kidnapped me, made it seem like it wasn’t my idea, maybe I wouldn’t get in as much trouble….”

“Oh, that’s a bad idea,” Sheppard said solemnly, shaking his head.

“A really bad idea,” Ronon agreed.

“It’s an incredibly stupid idea,” Rodney said, grinning. “So what do you say?”

Sheppard sighed, glanced at Ronon, and then shrugged. “I’ll go get him some clothes.”

“I’ll wrap his hand,” Ronon said.

Rodney just grinned.

The End

I hope you enjoyed it!

Thank you to Indiana Jones (esp. The Last Crusade), Star Wars, The Fifth Element, NT, and GateBiscuit for the request. And thank you all again so much for reading and the feedback, especially on Raina! I loved reading the incredibly varied responses to her. The fact that some of you liked her/felt sorry for her, and the other half hated her…that was just fantastically cool. Can't help but think that's a huge compliment for an OC. Thank you so, so, so much.