A/N: All Twilight characters property of Stephenie Meyer. Obviously I don't get paid for any of this or I'd proofread.

I'm not quitting my Carlisle and Esme story, but this one was bugging me this morning and I needed a lemon break. I won't be updating this one as often as Suburban Ennui... maybe once a week, or when the mood strikes me. It's a lot darker. A LOT.

Reminder that this story is rated M (18 and over) for drug use, profanity, sexual themes, and other dark, grown-up things parents don't want their kids to see. Probably no lemons, although lemonade is possible, so if it's smut you are looking for, sorry on that front too.

9 December 1993

Cursing his sister for dragging him to this club in the first place, he ran his fingers through his messy bronze hair. Taking a cursory look around in the darkness, he was fairly certain he wouldn't be fending off any advances from women, and if he kept close enough to Alice, he might be able to avoid the passes from the men as well. The music was so loud even shouting would be useless, so he grabbed the back of his sister's shirt and let her lead them through the tightly packed crowd to the bar, thankfully skipping the large dance floor by heading down a ramp that passed a small, dark room crowded with chairs and sofas that would probably reveals their Salvation Army origins if the lights were turned up.

When they reached the bar, Alice perched on the rail, her spiky black hair, pale skin, and extended arm wielding a bill like a semaphore attracting attention almost immediately. He was pleasantly surprised when she handed him a bottle of Sam Adams, assuming she'd go with whatever the special was tonight. He wasn't sorry she was showing her appreciation for his escort tonight, but he still didn't quite understand why he was necessary for her to meet women.

Alice had decided that she had filled her quota of men in college and, home on break, wanted to give playing for the other team a try. He assumed that, at twenty-one, this was a typical phase a lot of girls went through and he loved his sister enough to support her in anything. Of course, that didn't mean helping her out, but she'd begged, and he knew she was reluctant to "come out" to any of her friends before she was sure of her "new" sexual orientation.

He nearly laughed when he saw she had a Sam Adams in her hand as well; that explained his escape from a Rolling Rock special. Alice didn't drink beer. Ever. She was a foofy, fruity drink kind of girl and he could only assume that the beer was part of her new image. She was trying to impress someone. Now to find out which girl here she was panting after. He followed her to the edge of the dance floor, glancing occasionally at the patrons gyrating to whatever electronica caused this mass hysteria. There seemed no rhyme or reason to the groupings dancing: couples, trios, and more, grinding against each other with no thought to gender at all. It was a field day for a writer, he supposed. Just about every type of person was here. You could spot some of the BDSM crowd with their collars and leather. First-timers dressed too preppy for the club scene, eyes darting furtively about. The suburban couples out slumming were perhaps the most entertaining, with their aura of a trip to the zoo to examine the exotic animals.

Alice had stopped to talk to two men—a couple, he decided when he noted they were holding hands—seeming very at home here. Why, then, did she need her big brother along? She pulled him over to meet the men; the shorter one, with dark blonde hair and moss green eyes had an almost feminine beauty, with an aquiline nose and full lips. He smiled encouragingly and offered his hand,

"Seth. Alice has told us a lot about you."

Fabulous. She hadn't told him a thing about her new friends. The larger man, taller and much more muscular than his partner with curly black hair, thick brows, and dark brown eyes, looked scruffier.

"Jacob," he offered. "You look pretty comfortable for your first time here."

He grimaced a bit at Jacob's remark. Should he be less comfortable here? This wasn't a gay club, per se, but the majority of the clientele seemed to be homosexual or at least dipping their toes in, like Alice. He was sure that many of the rest were typical club kids, there for the constant flow of party drugs and dance music. Alice shrieked and headed out to the dance floor with Seth and Jacob when she heard the opening notes of a song he quickly identified as Go West from The Pet Shop Boys, leaving him to his own devices.

He wandered through the rest of the club for a few minutes, noting that the genders noted on the restroom doors seemed to have no meaning, and discovered another side room, this one painted all in white, from floors to ceiling, with various pieces of art hanging on the walls. The white room opened to a deck that overlooked the river, and he assumed in the summer months that was crowded as well. He wandered back to the dance floor, taking a spot against the wall near the bar where he could see his sister as well as the rest of the action on the floor. He felt something brush up against him and saw it was a girl, certainly no more than Alice's age having what appeared to be an argument with her girlfriend, who was behind him in the bar. The girl he could see was exotically beautiful, with creamy mocha skin and her hair in an elaborate beehive. She was wearing black from head-to-toe-black halter top, black hot pants, black tights, black platform shoes—and gesticulating wildly, as well as shouting loudly over the electronic beat of Show Me Love. Loudly enough that he didn't consider it eavesdropping by listening.

"Bella, Jesus, what is your problem? You know it doesn't mean anything."

"Doesn't mean anything?" the invisible girlfriend retorted. "Tanya, what the fuck? I walk in the bathroom and you and Kate are up against the fucking wall and your hand was in her pants. How does that not mean anything?"

"Bella, baby, you know I love you. Kate and I just go way back and you know with the X..."

"Tanya, give me a fucking break. X doesn't give you a good reason to get it on with your ex in the bathroom. This is crap, and you know it. I knew you'd be a problem like this. Your reputation has always preceded you."

"Bella, honey, come on."

"Nope, Tanya, done. You wanted to take advantage of the X, you could have found me. Now hurry up and get over there. Break time is over and Marcus will have our heads if we aren't up for the next song."

All-in-black girl, who could now be identified as Tanya, whirled and stalked past him, while he saw no more of the mysterious Bella but a blur of brown hair as she flew past. Tonight would be ideal if you were a sociologist, but for the average club-goer dragged here by his sister, it amounted to a glorified soap opera, fueled by alcohol and illicit drug use.

Just as he placed his empty beer bottle along the ledge behind him, Alice arrived in front of him, seemingly out of nowhere with a refill. Either she was psychic or she knew his timing well, and seeing as she was carrying another Sam Adams for herself, he assumed she knew he'd be nearly empty and wanted to stay in his good graces. God, he hoped it wasn't drugs. There was no way he was going to turn a blind eye to that whole mess. Instead, she reached for his free hand and pulled him toward the dance floor.

Maybe Alice on drugs wouldn't be so bad after all.

At his glare, she gave him her patented pleading puppy dog look.

"Please? She's going to be dancing and if I'm out there with the guys, she'll think I'm just their hag. Introducing you as my brother looks way better."

Failing to understand her logic, he rolled his eyes and followed her. She stopped oddly close to one of the waist-high black blocks he hadn't seen before, although now that he saw it, he realized there were gaps in the crowd at four spots on the floor. Assuming that each gap was a block, that meant there were four blocks, and Alice kept looking up at the one closest to them expectantly. He couldn't fathom why that was.

As the song changed to some horrifying trance number, he started heading off the dance floor. He loved his sister beyond measure, but there were limits to beyond measure and trance was it for him. She grabbed his arm, though, the begging face returning, and he glanced up at the block again only to have his heart stop beating.

Dear god, please don't let this be the girl Alice is after. Please don't let this girl be into girls at all.

Up above him was an angel disguised as a club kid. She ignored the convention of elaborate hair styles, leaving her long, wavy hair down. He could spot a few streaks of blue and violet when the light caught her just right, but she left it styled naturally. As for the rest of her, she was club kid but in her own way. The garish makeup was missing, leaving her porcelain skin looking natural, with dark-rimmed eyes, lashes too long and thick to be real, and blood-red lips. She wore a black mesh top with what could only be a built-in lace inset in front, because the back was sheer black: no bra. With the top, she wore the tiniest denim shorts he'd ever seen over black tights dotted with embroidered daisies, a touch of whimsy that stood in stark contrast to the men's Doc Martens she wore on her feet.

Tearing his eyes away from her, he looked to see who was on the other blocks. He spotted two blondes and immediately dismissed them, and girl-in-black on the fourth. As his angel sinuously turned, he was drawn to the curtain of brown hair that swirled around her, and suspected this must be the unseen Bella.

He realized that his sister was punching his arm and attempting to subtly point at the angel dancing above them.

"That's her!"

Shit. That meant that not only was this girl unavailable to him because of his gender, but she was also the girl who just learned her girlfriend was cheating on her and she was the girl his sister was lusting over. He had begun cursing Alice internally while he wondered if this night could be any worse when he saw one of the block dancers reach down into the crowd and pull someone up to dance with her. At least it made sense; Alice was hoping that Bella would choose her as a partner. He fervently hoped that was the case; at least then he could return to his spot on the wall, nurse his beer, and pray Alice would go home with Bella or whatever she planned on doing so he could go home and pretend this never happened.

He had just glanced over to all-in-black girl Tanya to see her pluck an incredibly gorgeous blonde out of the crowd when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning, he saw not Alice's, but rather Bella's eyes even with his, crouching on the block. They were a deep chocolate brown and looked dead even as they seemed to lack focus.

"I'm Bella. Come on up and dance."

She reached out a hand and he saw Alice motion for him to go, even as her eyes expressed her disappointment. The mental battle between loyalty to his sister and his desire to be near this girl was fought in a millisecond and he found himself on the block before he knew it, Bella's finger in his mouth.

"This will make it more fun," she whispered into his ear.

So enthralled by her, he didn't even think. Just swallowed.

# # #

An hour later, he was on a couch in the dark room, no longer sure of where he ended and Bella began. Alice had gone off with Seth and Jacob to drown her sorrows in Alabama Slammers or something equally ridiculous and he wasn't altogether sure that he cared. He had come to the conclusion about half an hour ago that Bella had slipped him some Ecstasy, and while he should be concerned about that, he couldn't bring himself to care about that either. All he wanted was to continue touching this girl and letting her touch him. The feeling of her running her fingers up and down his arms was exquisite and he wondered if she could continue doing it forever. She'd probably need to sleep, but he bet she could eat one-handed.

When she stopped kissing him, he was bereft, and moved his tongue to her neck, needing to stay in physical contact with her. He felt her throat vibrate as she giggled and then pushed him back, placing a round lollipop in his mouth.

"Chupa Chup, lovely. It will keep you from chewing your tongue off."

He sincerely hoped she was kidding, but kept the candy in his mouth just in case as Bella led him off to the bar, somehow knowing to take him directly over to where Alice stood with Seth and Jacob. The whole evening had taken a very surreal turn, but it became even more surreal when Bella walked right up to Alice and announced,

"Alice? You are absolutely stunning. But this is not what you want."

Not ten seconds later, he realized that Bella was kissing his sister, and it was no hesitant kiss. He was sure he saw tongue, and that should be absolutely revolting considering that tongue had just been in his mouth, but oddly, it wasn't. He couldn't say it was a turn-on, after all, this was his sister Bella was kissing like that, but he could see that glimmer of concern. Bella knew his sister was just experimenting, and wanted to let her see it through without being hurt. She was nice person under whatever this was. And he needed to touch whatever this was. Soon.

Alice, however, looked stunned when Bella broke away from her, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand before grinning at Bella.

"Thank you, Bella. I think we are going to be great friends. Do you know Seth and Jacob?"

Bella extended the usual polite courtesies before turning back to Alice.

"I'm going to take your brother home with me, if that's okay. And I think I have the nicest boy I'd like you to meet. You'll be here tomorrow, then?"

Alice nodded while he grinned. Bella was taking him home, and he hoped that meant he could keep touching her.

"It's only a couple of blocks. I know it's cold, but do you mind walking?" she asked.

He could do no more than nod, unable to talk around the lollipop. She took off for the club's side entrance and he followed like a puppy, amazed when she stepped out into the frigid air in the outfit she'd had on all night. She didn't seem to have a coat.

"Just keep moving fast," she laughed, "and you won't feel a thing."

# # #

Thank god he had a couple of condoms in his wallet. After a good hour of the most intense foreplay he'd ever experienced, he would have died if he couldn't experience this with her, too. A part of his brain told him that this was wrong, but he was a slave to what his body told him to do. He hovered over her before he comprehended; he was a substitute; a placeholder; something to fill the void of what the girlfriend had left behind.

He knew she didn't want him so much as she wanted to not feel alone, and he was cognizant enough to recognize how much of his behavior was the Ecstasy driving him, but he was still going to do this. Still going to take this break from his perfect life in which he'd never once done the wrong thing, the dangerous thing, unlike Alice, who seemed to thrive on it.

"Bella," he breathed, "my name is Edward. It's a pleasure to meet you."

And with that, he drove inside her.