I'm Sorry

Ice-Puppet

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Obviously.

“Near has my picture,” Mello had said and Matt instantly found himself leaping at the notion of him retrieving it. He knew what Mello was hinting at- no way the blonde ever wanted to see Near again- so he took the opportunity as it came and said,

“I’ll get it back for you.”

Mello had the plan all set up, it was a wonder why he didn’t just go for it himself. “Make any mistakes and I’ll have your head,” he threatened and Matt knew he wasn’t teasing. “Follow the plan exactly as I put it.”

Matt had to wonder if Mello knew he planned on straying from it, from the very beginning.

Getting into Linder’s apartment had been easy enough. The woman returned home eventually and disappeared into the shower. She was unarmed. As put in the plan, Matt waited until she stepped out and wrapped a towel around herself before making himself visible, although he had a sneaking suspicion she knew he was there, already.

“No sense of privacy?” Linder questioned lightly, ignoring the gun pointed at her face.

Matt just shook his head and told her to bring him to Near.

Linder complied easily enough after she was dressed, even letting him hold a gun to her head without a fuss as they trailed into the SPK headquarters.

--

“Near,” Rester stated, catching the boy’s attention away from the train set he was playing with.

Near glanced toward Rester for a moment before following the man’s attention to the screens. He watched as Linder approached, a redhead with goggles on his face behind her, holding a gun to her head.

He picked up one train and smashed it into another, angrily. “Let them in,” he demanded in his normal calm voice.

The doors opened to reveal Matt and Linder, who was instantly forgotten as she was shoved to the side. Matt lowered the gun, not caring as Rester and Giovanni raised their owns toward him.

“Near…” he breathed, his voice filled with both guilt and relief.

“Drop your weapon!” Giovanni called.

“Rester, Giovanni,” Near stated, catching their attention. “Please lower your weapons.”

“What?” Giovanni asked, looking at Near as if he had lost his mind.

“Please,” Near repeated. This time it was not a request.

Reluctantly, Rester and Giovanni lowered their weapons, although they still held them tightly, ready to raise them again if Matt posed a threat.

“Nice place you’ve got here,” Matt whistled, straying from the plan already as he looked around the room. “Very… blue.”

“You came for Mello’s picture,” Near commented as he removed said photograph from its hidden place inside of his pajama top. He tossed it toward Matt, who easily caught it and glanced down, mouthing the words written on the back. ‘Dear Mello.’ “You have it, now. You may leave.”

“Wait-” Matt started, taking a step forward only to have the guns raised into his face once more. He ignored them, however, continuing. “Just like that? Near, come on…”

Near set the trains back on the track and released them, letting them spin around him once more. He did not answer Matt’s words.

“It wasn’t-” Matt attempted, before stumbling over his words. “I didn’t- It wasn’t you.”

“No, it wasn’t me,” Near agreed, shifting his position the slightest bit. “It was never me, Matt.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it!” Matt accused. Near shot him a cold look over his shoulder. “It was you! It’s just- Mello… he needed me.”

Near’s eyes narrowed. Then, he said something so completely out of character that Rester and Giovanni lowered their guns to turn and look at him in shock. “I needed you, Matt.”

Matt looked horrified for a moment before the guilt was obvious on his face. He turned his head away, dropping his hands to his sides. “You could have… you could have said that.”

“I did,” Near reminded, turning his head back to his trains once more. “But Matt was too blinded by Mello to see it.”

Matt frowned deeply. He gave a frustrated sigh and went to take another step forward, “Near-” However Giovanni stepped in his way, gun pointed at him. “Woah! I’m not gonna hurt him!” Matt told the man, holding up his hands. He then dropped the gun he was still holding to the floor. “See? Unarmed. I just want to talk to him.”

“You can talk to him from right there,” Giovanni informed.

Matt glared at him before sighing. “Near, please, just hear me out.”

Near ignored him, watching his trains go around him quietly.

Matt gave him a frustrated look. “I’m-”

“Don’t,” Near cut him off, reaching out and smashing one of the trains off the track. It went flying, landing on the floor and skidding until it halted against a chair.

Matt was silent for a few moments before he tried again. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want your apology,” Near informed, his eyes narrowed, although Matt could not see it.

“I screwed up!” Matt confessed. “I didn’t realize what should have come first- what does come first.”

“And what, its all clear to Matt now?” Near questioned almost bitterly.

“Yes!” Matt protested, his fists clenched. “Near… I-”

“Don’t,” Near practically begged.

“-Love you.”

Giovanni and Rester both stared at him in surprise. Linder approached Near but stayed off to the side, still, as if cautious.

Near, ever so slowly, turned around and faced Matt. He lifted a hand to his hair and began curling it, his eyes cold. At a snail’s pace, he stood and stepped over his train set, approaching. Giovanni and Rester lowered their guns slowly as Near walked up to Matt until he was face-to-face with the redhead.

“Get out,” Near demanded, his voice low with anger.

Giovanni, Rester, and Linder all looked toward each other in shock.

“Near-” Matt tried, but Near had already started walking away.

“Either get out,” Near mumbled as he stalked off. “Or follow me. Matt’s choice.”

Glancing at the three very confused body guards, Matt handed Mello’s photo to Giovanni before following after Near.

Near lead them back into a bedroom, where he closed the door and locked it. He spared Matt a glance before walking to the other side of the room and sitting down on the bed.

“Does Mello know?” Near asked.

“Fuck what Mello knows,” Matt answered. “This is about you and me, not him.”

Near looked at him again. He began curling his hair once more, glancing to the side. Again, he asked, “Does Mello know?”

Knowing he wouldn’t get away from the question a second time, Mello sighed and leaned against the door. “Yes.”

Near looked surprised.

Matt shot him a glance. “Don’t be so shocked. Yes, I told him. I was honest with him. After he left, I slept with you. I fell in love with you. After this Kira crap is over, I’m going to spend my life with you, not him.”

“And before the Kira case ends?” Near asked.

Matt shook his head. “I promised him, Near.”

Near nodded. It was fair enough. Mello was Matt’s best friend and if Matt had made a promise to Mello, then he couldn’t ask the redhead to break that promise for him.

“Why did Matt leave?” Near asked.

“He called for me,” Matt explained. “And I swore to him that I’d always be there when he called. So when he did, I went. I didn’t think about it- I didn’t think about you and I’m sorry for that. I really fucked up. I would have gone either way but I should have at least explained…”

Near gave him a cold stare. “Yes, Matt should have.”

Matt frowned. “I fucked up,” he said again.

“Yes, Matt did,” Near confirmed.

“Give me another chance, please?” Matt begged, moving away from the wall and advancing on Near. “When this Kira case is over I swear I will make it up to you.”

The albino looked frustrated. He glared as Matt moved in front of him, crouching down. Matt grabbed Near’s shoulders and pushed him down, pinning him to the bed and crawling on top of him.

“Well?” Matt asked with a smirk.

“Matt isn’t fair,” Near informed as the redhead moved in and started to nip at his neck. He sucked in a breath.

“No, Matt isn’t,” Matt purred, before leaning in to capture Near’s lips in a kiss. After a few moments he pulled away, asking, “Well?”

Near glared at him angrily, his face flushed and his body shaking. “Fine,” he agreed, after a moment of silence. “Fine,” he repeated, this time his voice filled with frustration as he grabbed hold of the back of Matt’s head and pulled him in for another kiss.

Matt smirked.

--

Matt was gone the next morning, but Near had expected this.

‘When the Kira case is over’, the redhead had promised.

Bitter irony, Near thought as he watched the news report, the ‘unidentified man’ being wheeled away, shot to death. Bitter, bitter irony.

There would be no ‘After the Kira case’. Not for them, anyways.