Regarding the Sun

By TwinEnigma

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters. I do this for fun and no profit.

Warnings: Spoilers, character death.

Hinata is selfish and young.

She longs to be strong and confident, to be the girl that attracts the eyes of others. She craves this, desires it more than anything. Who can blame her? It is only natural to want one’s existence to be acknowledged.

Instead, she languishes on the sidelines, a veritable ghost to all but her own teammates. She presses flowers and daydreams of all the things she could have done differently, of all the ways she could transform herself into something more, something that would captivate the world.

Naruto is everything she is not. She desires to be like him, to get closer in the hopes he will transform her into the confident person she wants to be, but she doesn’t really understand what she’s doing. She wants to become the type of person he would see, but it’s scary and she can’t ever quite work up the courage to change. In his presence, her words falter and her throat dries up before she can regain them. He has never heard her feelings, but he is polite and friendly to her, which is surely a sign he has not rejected her.

She thinks she loves him.

She’s sure she loves him.

She’s sure if she can just tell him, he’ll realize that she’s been there all along and fall in love with her.

Hinata is young.

She is young and has never really been in love, but she’s heard stories of great loves in fairy tales and ancient plays. Her idea of love is eternal, selfless and pure. It transcends time and tribulation and even death itself. Nothing bad in the world can triumph over the purity of true love. To die for true love would be a beautiful thing, she decides.

Hinata is sixteen and very selfish.

With her eyes, she sees only Naruto, the embodiment of the determination and courage she desperately craves, and all else fades away. When he finally falters in the face of the nightmare Pain, a terror and rage she has never known blossoms in her heart.

How dare he!

How dare that man take away Naruto!

It is not worth surviving without that smile, that boy who blazes the way. She loves him and she’ll die for him today.

Hinata was sixteen.

She had never kissed a boy, nor gone on a date. She liked pressing flowers and daydreaming. She was kind-hearted and pretty, in a shy sort of wallflower way, but she had always kept to herself mostly. She wanted more than anything to be confident and beloved.

She is only remembered.

AN: Stupid selfish little girl. That's not love.

It is my opinion that Hinata is too young and inexperienced to distinguish between wanting to be like someone she idolizes and love. I also believe she probably has an overtly romantic notion of love - probably thinks Romeo and Juliet were the perfect romance (when, to anyone with a brain, you'd know they were a pair of selfish sixteen-year olds, who basically killed themselves due to their own ineptitude).

No, really. Just because someone is polite and kind to you does not mean they will not reject you if you make an advance. Just because you confess your love to them does not mean they will instantly realize you exist and gain feelings for you. I want to smack all the stupid kids who think that's how romance really works.

Flames will be met with candid explanations of how wanting to so badly be near someone in hopes they'll rub off on you is not really love, and how killing oneself for a guy who might not even reciprocate those feelings is the height of stupidity and selfishness - something over-dramatic teenagers who don't know what real love is seem to specialize in.

EDIT: If you have the stones to question my logic, at least have the stones to log in so I can reply to you.

RE "NOT LOGGED IN PERSON": Yes, I do know what love is. I learned the hard way the difference between love and crushes, and, worse, I know what it's like to be loved and not reciprocate the feelings. Can you honestly say the same?