I found this story on my computer when I woke up in the morning, a troll hacked into my account to post it, I wrote it when I was on those illegal drugs I don't take. A fairy took control of my mind to make me write it, I posted it in my sleep, the internet spontaneously generated it. It's not even here and you're imagining it, I haven't actually read this and don't even know what it is, Chuck Norris wrote it.

I'm not smart enough to write a disclaimer you haven't seen 100 times already so I won't try.

One day Zim was walking home from skool because he hates the bus and always throws up on it and only lives ten feet away anyway and he was talking and thinking about how much he hates humans, for they are stinky monsters and smell like pigs and bad movies.

Then Dib showed up, because Dib is annoying, and Dib said Zim was stupid because he wasn't on the Internet so Zim went to the Internet and made a LiveJournal and found lots of stuff about he and Dib making out, because of course that stuff exists in the context of the show but Zim finding that stuff has been done to death and that's not what this is about so skip it.

By this time Zim had, of course, proved to his satisfaction that he could use the Internet but he was curious so he lingered and found Longcat and Lolcats and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Zim is at least a LITTLE smarter than a brick and could tell this was fiction so he had a good laugh over human stupidity and made Dib an ED entry but then he found stuff about Chuck Norris.

Zim laughed at this too but then he realized Chuck Norris was a real person and he freaked out, because he realized Chuck Norris is really that awesome.

Now Zim is not THAT much smarter than a brick so he went to Texas and tried to capture Chuck Norris, but Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Zim in the face and he died. But then his Pak brought him back to life.

So Zim tried to kill Chuck Norris with a giant robot, but Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the robot so hard it crushed into a toaster. Then he roundhouse kicked Zim into the sun, where he burned up and died again- but his Pak brought him back. (And Dib was really enjoying all this.)

Chuck Norris realized that Zim's Pak would bring him back however many times he was kicked so Chuck Norris bit Zim's antennae off and kicked his Pak, and he became a human. Then Chuck Norris threw Zim back across America to land in his base.

Zim didn't like being a human but he knew Chuck Norris would never let him take over the world now so instead he decided to change his name and make a comic book about a serial killer killing lots of humans. Then he made a show about himself. But Chuck Norris made everyone in the show look really stupid by kicking Nickelodeon Studios. The show was much better that way, though Zim was pretty ticked off.

Then Chuck Norris went to Planet Irk and roundhouse kicked it to Earth. It became McDonald's.

And Chuck Norris lived happily ever after. The End.