Jungle Karma

by Starhawk

3. Training Together

"I think," RJ decided, "that we should all sit down."

He sat where he was, because that seemed like the most auspicious choice. His new students didn't move--or rather, they did move, but it was more of a "glancing at each other" motion than a "sitting down" motion. Apparently they'd gotten over the "master" thing more quickly than he'd expected.

"Why?" Casey wanted to know.

"I thought we were going to be training," Theo said.

"Well..." RJ considered this. "I thought we were too." He smiled up at Theo. "And we are. So that works out."

"Are we meditating?" Lily asked, sitting down across from him. The others quickly sat between them, to either side, forming a sort of circle. Or a square. A square, really, since a circle didn't have any points. They seemed to have four.

"I don't know," RJ admitted after a moment. "Are you? I'm not. Unless what we call life is a grand meditation from which we may one day choose to open our eyes... In which case I guess you could say we're all meditating."

This time, no one said anything. He smiled again. "I thought we could begin with you telling me a little bit about your time with Pai Zhua. How long, how hard, did you like the uniforms? That sort of thing."

"I was at the school for six years," Theo said quickly. "Master Mao trained me personally. It was quite an honor."

"He trained me too," Lily added. "I was there for three years. Master Mao said I'm a quick study." She beamed angelically at Theo, who rolled his eyes in return.

It wasn't exactly what he was looking for, but if that was what they wanted to share... He turned an inquiring gaze on Casey, who looked a bit uncomfortable. "I, uh--" Casey looked down at the floor. "I just came to the school--this year, actually."

"They say the first year is the hardest," RJ assured him. He didn't miss the look Lily and Theo gave each other out of the corner of his eye. "Once you have the fundamentals, the rest is just... refinement, really."

"Yeah." Casey gave the others a guilty look. "I'm not, uh... I'm not sure I really have the fundamentals."

RJ looked at him thoughtfully. The cloud of doubt hanging over him was so palpable that it might as well be raining uncertainty. And under it was that funny fog, the one that almost conveyed things he wasn't saying--but not quite.

Not in harmony. Not like Lily, with the light radiating from her even when she didn't smile. Not like Theo, who looked like he was watching even when his eyes were closed. Casey was... dissonant, somehow. As if when he moved too quickly a little piece of his shadow couldn't quite keep up.

"Do you have trouble channeling your animal spirit?" RJ wondered.

Casey looked at the others again. "I guess you could say that," he muttered.

"Yes," Lily said. "Just sometimes. When he doubts himself, I mean. Because he can do it, he just doesn't always... remember."

She dipped her head, catching Casey's eye just as her gaze slid to RJ. He looked over her and Theo, wondering what they weren't saying--well, what they weren't saying that might be relevant--before lunging at Casey. Up off the ground, striking hand upraised, he knocked the tiger on his back with a hand around his throat.

And only a human face stared back at him, that vaguely disassociated confusion swirling around him. Like he'd left his shadow behind again. RJ sat back on his heels, studying Casey's expression.

"What was that for?" Casey asked, pushing himself up on his elbows. He looked wary, like he wasn't totally sure RJ was done. But he wasn't defensive. He didn't try to roll away or fight back or anything at all.

Lily got it, though. "I... I don't think he can call it for himself," she offered, only stumbling a little when they both turned to look at her. "At will, I mean. I think he has to do it--you know. On someone else's behalf."

RJ's gaze flicked to Theo, who held up his hands. "Oh, no," he said. "You've got the wrong guy. Trust me."

RJ rose, putting his hands behind his back as he turned away. He heard all three of them scrambling up after him. He pivoted on his heel and pointed at Casey. "What if I told you that you had to?" he suggested, curious. "If I said your friends were in danger, and this was the only way to keep them safe?"

"Wouldn't work," Casey said, clearly catching up. "They're not. You can't make me believe you'd really hurt them. And," he added with a rueful smile, "you've lost the element of surprise."

RJ's gaze slid over Casey's shoulder as Lily and Theo stepped up behind him. "It's not about surprise," he said. "It's about making sure they're safe with you. You know your lack of control compromises your ability to protect them."

Casey's expression darkened, and hey, look at that. He did get mad. RJ was careful not to smile. "Don't think," he advised. "Just do."

This time, his attack was met with a ferocious twist of feline grace that actually knocked him back a step. Maybe two, even, depending on how you counted it. And all of Casey came after him, to be forced to the floor by RJ's hold.

Until something raw and powerful and protective came, not from behind Casey or over his shoulder or around him but through him. With a roar that wasn't at all unexpected--but its source was. It was Casey who was yelling. Not the tiger.

But it was the tiger. Interesting contradiction, RJ thought, letting go and waving him off when Casey whirled on him. It was the tiger, and it was not. It was Casey... and it was not. There was only one logical conclusion that a mind faced with such a set of facts could reach.

Casey didn't fight together with his animal spirit. Casey was his animal spirit.

"That's good," he said aloud, and this time he did let himself smile. "I think we can work with that."