AN: SMeyer owns Twilight and the characters. I own this weird story. All songs are owned by their owners and I’m just using them to give my Bella a musical portfolio. The playlist is posted on my blog. .com

Chapter 1

I’m in Trouble

“Barry, we need to go over a few songs, before the show tonight. You want to use that as your sound check?” I asked the tech when I stepped up to the mic.

“Sure, Bells. Just do your thing, Darlin’ I’ll take of you!” Barry was my sound tech. He always made certain that I sounded great. He helped me out tremendously when I pushed myself too far.

“Danny, you around,” I asked? Danny is the head of security. Who knew life as a musician would mean never having a moment of privacy? I thought it was ridiculous until several months ago when the scary side of fame reared its ugly head. Since then we’ve added 2 other guys to the security team.

“Yep, I’m here Bells. What can I do you for,” Danny replied.

“My new step brother and sister are showing up today. Their names are Emmett and Alice McCarty. Alice said that they might bring a few friends with them. When they get here let them in and make sure that Marcie makes them comfy. Please and thanks!”

Grabbing my guitar, I walked up to the mic again. Okay, time to earn those big checks I get. I’m nervous as hell, but I need to quell that and get to work. One Blue Sky, I Wanna Die, Kerosene and Desperation all need some tweaking, definitely. Hope we can get this settled quickly. I’d like to actually meet my new siblings BEFORE the show.

Just as the opening strands of One Blue Sky started I saw four of the most beautiful people I’d ever laid eyes one walk into the area from stage left. Wow, if they are my new siblings, then I will have to step up the game a bit. No way in hell I could stand within a 20 mile radius of any of them and not look like the ugly duckling. FUCK!!

“Sounds good on your end, guys, but there is something wonky going on with the board,” Barry yelled down to us, just as the last chord was played. “So, take a break, but stay close, I’ll have it fixed in a minute or two.”

Pushing my guitar around my back, I walked over to the stool and got my water bottle just as I was hit by what I could only begin to describe as a hurricane or tornado. The force of energy that surrounded the smallest adult I’d ever met was baffling. This must be Alice.

“OH MY GOD, BELLA! That song was great!” The pixie squealed. “I have to admit I’d not ever listened to country music until I learned you and I were going to be sisters, but I loved that song.”

Looking her over, she looked as if she’d just stepped out of Vogue, as did her tall, leggy blonde girlfriend. Damn .Of all the days I need to NOT look plain and blah.

“Thanks.” I blushed. Fuck!! Now I look like an even bigger idiot. “You must be Alice. Which would make you Rosalie, if I’m not mistaken?”

Again Alice piped up and said, “Yes, and this is Emmett, our brother and Edward, my boyfriend. That’s Edward’s cousin and Emmett’s girlfriend, Rosalie. Rose’s brother, Jasper was going to come as well, but got hung up and couldn’t make it.” She’d pointed everyone out as she went around the group.

I blushed, “It’s great to meet you all.”

“Bells, you ready. I think I’ve got the kinks worked out.” Barry called out.

“Thanks, Barry,” I turned back to Alice and grimaced. “Work calls, but it shouldn’t take too long then we can go do something fun. Maybe an hour, tops?” When they all nodded, I pointed off stage towards my dressing room and said, “There’s loads of food and drinks backstage if y’all are hungry.”

As I wrapped up my conversation with Alice, I noticed that the band was back in their spots waiting on me. Not wanting to keep the guys or Alice and her friends waiting, I pulled my guitar around, and started strumming out the notes to I Wanna Die.

You know it's so complicated, first you love then you hate it
Someone's laughing, someone's crying, someone's livin', someone's dying
Somebody always looses and we still play the game
And the fire will always burn you and we still light the flame
Let's make it up baby, cause I ain't gonna fight
If you're the death of me darlin', I wanna die

Oh my God! Who the fuck is that? That man is like walking sin. I don’t know who the hell he is, but I know I want him, like yesterday. Being that hot should be outlawed.

You always say that you love me and there is no one above me
Never giving, always takin', never bending, always breaking
I know you ain’t a liar but you don't tell the truth
And you're walkin' on a wire wearing someone else's shoes
If you're handing out misery I'll be the first in line
If you're the death of me darlin', I wanna die

Oh my God! Could he be Rosalie’s brother? Just then he stopped by Alice and Rose and gave them both a hug and knocked fists with the guys. Yep. That’s bound to be Jasper. WOW!! There’s just something about him. He makes me breathless. He’s got that James Dean, Johnny Cash man in black, Elvis as young thang in black leather bad boy thing going on. DAMN that’s the finest specimen of Yum I’ve seen in awhile.

Tear it up, break it down

I know what I’d like him to tear up and break down.

Put my heart on your sleeve and wear it all over town
I know you're a player but you don't play by the rules

Damn, if this one ain’t a player then he needs to have his head examined. He’s so hot that one wink would probably make them drop their panties and not even worry about the location or the consequences.

And I'm just another in a long line of fools

I’ll not be thinking about that right now. Looking at Sin again made me miss a couple of notes. Fuck! Did he just smirk at me? Fuck he did. He knows my music well enough to smirk at me? Oh Fuck me. I’m in trouble. Better pay attention.

Yeah it's so complicated, I love then I hate it
I'm laughing, you're crying, you're livin', I'm dyin'
Somebody always looses and we still play the game
Yeah the fire will always burn you and we still light the flame
Let's make it up baby, cause I ain’t gonna fight
If you're the death of me darlin', I wanna die

Tear it up, break it down
Put my heart on your sleeve and wear it all over town
I know you're a player but you don't play by the rules
And I'm just another in a long line of fools

Yeah it's so complicated, I love then I hate it
I'm laughing you're crying, you're living, I'm dyin'
I know you ain’t a liar but you don't tell the truth
And you're walkin on a wire wearing someone else's shoes
If you're handing out misery I'll be the first in line
If you're the death of me darlin' I wanna die
OHHHH I wanna die
Tear it up Tear it up
um um um

Man, I love that song! Especially, now that Walking Sin is in the room! UGH!! That man is enough to make a girl weep.

Checking with the guys, we decided to go into Kerosene next. I really did try my best to forget that the best looking man I’d ever seen in my life was standing not 30 feet away, but fuck me it was hard. It was like I could feel his eyes boring into me while I was playing.

I managed to make it through Kerosene without any fuck ups but knew that Desperation was going to be a bit harder considering the song’s meaning and lyrics, but I decided to just go with the flow and use my newfound lust for Sin, or rather Jasper as my focus. Maybe with some inspiration I can make it come out the way it’s supposed to. So, I looked right at Jasper, as I started singing.

Throw a dog a bone I'll take it if I have to

Go real fast like there's somewhere we can get to

What's the use of standing right there on the edge if there ain't nowhere to fall

What's the use in hanging on tight to the phone if nobody might call

Desperation

There's danger in frustration

Complicated words slipping off of your tongue and ain't one of them the truth

I'm still desperate for you

Tell it like a lie live it like a movie

Give a heart away like it don't mean nothing to me

What's the use in making all the plans that we made if you weren't gonna go

What's the use of slapping on a smile for a face if your eyes don't wanna show

Desperation

There's danger in frustration

Complicated words slipping off of your tongue and ain't one of them the truth

I'm still desperate for you

Well it's too damn bad you didn't have a chance to make me your best friend

You were too caught up in giving too much up and not doing what you should have been

Desperation

There's danger in frustration

Complicated words slipping off of your tongue and ain't one of them the truth

I'm still desperate for you

Just as the last note left my mouth, I turned from the mic. As I winked at the guys letting them know how well they’d done, I set the guitar down and grabbed my water and I hopped off the stage excited to finally meet what I was Desperate for. I tried my best to saunter over to my new siblings and what I hoped would be my future. What the FUCK? You don’t fucking saunter!!!

The inky haired pixie piped up first. “Bella, that was great! I really loved that last song! I can’t wait for the actual concert.”

”Thanks, Alice! So, I have a several hours to kill before the show, if you all want to find something to do? I need to buy a car first and foremost. Charlie said he bring me up one day this week, but I’d rather get it today, so I can spend this week settling in. If that doesn’t interest you all we can do something else, though.” Fuck me I’m rambling again. UGH!! I’m such an idiot. Oh my God!! He has green eyes, mossy green eyes. Oh fuck me. I’m in trouble.

I tried pretending I was scanning the group, but I just kept coming back to that green eyed beauty to my right. UGH!! Bella can you be more obvious? “To be honest, I’m lost as to what to buy, so if any of you boys can help, I’d REALLY appreciate it.”

Just as I was looking around again, or trying to, he snorted. “Rose, think you can help the girl out?” He chuckled again just before Rose punched him. HARD! “Damn, bitch could you take it easy, that’s the shoulder I injured this week?”

AWW!! He’s hurt! Wonder if he’ll let me kiss it and make it better?

“Maybe now you’ll watch your fucking mouth and not be such a prissy asshole?” I giggled. Apparently, this was definitely Jasper, Rose’s twin brother and she could give as well as she got.

My giggles must have finally drawn is attention away tormenting from his sister long enough to realize we’d yet to be introduced. He turned to me and smiled. Looking straight into his face the dazzling green of his eyes nearly knocked me to my knees. He was hot from a distance, but up close he was breathtaking. The hard lines of his face were prominent even when he was smiling. His lips were full and pink and extremely kissable. I wanted to spend hours, days, weeks, FUCK THAT, years. It would take years of kissing for me to be satisfied that I’d learned all the contours, textures and mysteries his mouth was hiding. I was still staring at his mouth when he smirked at me.

“I’m Jasper.”

FUCK ME!! I’M IN TROUBLE!!