Knight Rider Festival '09

Cutouts, Cookies, and Commentary

KITT hadn't realized how dependent he had gotten on hearing everything around Michael at all times. Even when none of the actions involved or needed to involve him, he felt comfortable just hearing it anyway. Now, that he had all of the camera angles and the cell phone's constant audio feed, he was content and just relaxed into the moment.

Mike soon forgot about the little pink cell phone sitting only about a foot away. He was deep into the excited moment of people constantly asking for signatures, hugs, and such.

However, an event would not be complete without....you know who...Yeah, there she was next in line and grinning her little red lips off, waiting with the whole group. This time their shirts were bright yellow and had the same red heart surrounding his picture.

There stood the world’s happiest Justin's girls.

Mike groaned out loud but smiled inwardly. They were a good bunch of girls and they brightened up any event he had to attend. He was actually glad to see them.

What they had with them made Mike laugh out loud, "What is that?!"

Brittney giggled and then stood it on the flimsy conference table. "Don't you recognize a cardboard cutout of yourself?"

Mike looked the massive grinning cardboard man up and down completely confused but completely thrilled. And where did they get this picture of him? "Okay, when did I pose for this shot?"

The cardboard Michael Knight stood straight up like a stop sign but held both arms out and curled up flexing his massive bi-ceps. But that wasn't what bothered him. What made Mike giggle and the entire crowd around point and laugh in pure delight was the fact that the only piece of clothing he had on in this picture was a rather tight Speedo that had the iconic golden Knight Horse head directly front and center.

He looked like one of those Arnold Schwarzenegger body-building waxed-up manly men. It was Funny!

Brittney laughed her head off as she looked at Justin's reaction to the cardboard cutout. She knew that it was going to get an interesting reaction to say the least but she could tell that he found it just as funny as everyone else did. "As you can see, we have already gotten quite a few signatures. Now we need yours. So Justin, will you sign a cute picture of you?"

Mike couldn't contain it anymore. This life-size rendering of himself was hilarious. He couldn't stop looking at his muscles and his Speedo at the same time. He busted up laughing. He laughed so hard that his side began to hurt and he started coughing. Finally with a suspicious grin, he asked, "And where do you want me to sign it?"

Brittney was now the one to blush and laughed out loud. She knew exactly where she wanted him to sign it. But that was purely up to him.

Mike then slowly uncapped his Sharpie and looked around the Autograph table. The whole event had suddenly turned silent and he had a sneaky suspicion why.

Sure enough, everyone all around the crowded and busy event had stopped what they were doing to watch Michael Knight autograph his absolutely wonderful cardboard cutout. The whole area actually seemed to get quieter...if that was possible out here in this open air event.

Mike was still blushing a soft pink and felt a slight layer of sweat form on his forehead. With Sharpie in hand, he leaned over slightly and looked for a good spot to sign the sign. He definitely was leaving the Speedo alone.

Mike suddenly covered up a whole portion of the cardboard cutout of himself with his body and then with an evil laugh, faked nervous glances in both directions. While still covering the life-sized cutout with his body, he curled up defensively and bowed his head to become a living wall as he began to feverishly write with his black Sharpie.

Everyone began to laugh raucously as they began snapping pictures of Mike's antics. Even KITT was finding this rather funny.

Still keeping up his game, Mike suddenly stood up straight and grabbed the freshly autographed sign board off of the table and hugged it nervously while he gave paranoid glances left and right. "Mine!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

The crowd couldn't help but laugh. He looked like a 2 year old deciding not to share his most favorite toy of all time.

Mike looked around the happily grinning crowd and then put on a pouty face. "Mine!" He yelled again in false defiance and then hugged the cutout of himself tighter. "You can't have it!"

Brittney was loving Justin's reaction to her Photoshop-edited cutout of him. She had hoped that he would like it. "Come on Justin," She happily teased like a mother trying to reason with a selfish child. “Gimmie the sign."

The whole event that had slowed to watch Justin sign the flattering cardboard rendition of Michael Knight, were now completely enveloped into the scene that was now playing out. Even Charles was venturing a wide grin at this odd display.

Brittney took a small step forward toward Justin and the cluttered autograph table. "Please?" She emphasized as she outstretched her hand.

Mike did the first thing that came to mind. He made a sudden wild biting movement toward her perfectly manicured hand. All he got was air and then screamed, "NO!"

Brittney quickly jumped backwards as she reflexively pulled her hand in close to her body. She knew that she wasn't in danger but he startled her. Within seconds, a huge devious smile spread across her face. She locked eyes with the playfully defiant Justin and then teasingly asked, "Wanna Cookie?"

Mike instantly replaced his pouty look with a huge pleading smile, “Cookie?"

The whole impromptu audience busted up laughing again. Here was a man in his 20's begging for a cookie like a 2 year old. This was priceless.

Brittney quickly dug into her Dooney Bourke purse and then slowly, teasingly slid a six pack of Oreo cookies out. She gave Justin a huge smile and then teased, "Cooookie."

Mike's grip on the rather handsome cutout loosened as he playfully licked his lips and stared longingly at the shiny deep blue wrapper. "Me want cookie!" He begged with a huge smile.

Brittney slowly ripped the edge of the Oreo wrapper and then carefully tore it down the full length of the packaging. With an air of purposeful teasing, she slid a black and white cookie free and held it up in the air in front of and just out of reach of Justin. "Justin want cookie?" She asked in a high childlike tone.

Mike definitely wasn't hungry but this game was great. He studied the wonderful cookie with eyes of wanting as he jokingly tried to swipe the sugary prize from Brittney's tiny hand. When he missed, Mike put on his pathetic pouty face again and whined, "Cookie."

Deanna gave Justin a what-am-I-going-to-do-with-you head shake as she looked on with a huge smile. This definitely wasn't the Justin she had worked with on the TV show but he was just as much fun.

"Mikey want cookie?" Brittney asked as she waved the black and white delight in front of Justin.

Like an adorable puppy dog, Mike's brown eyes were huge as he solely concentrated on the cookie, "Yeah, gimmie cookie!"

In her best cutesy voice, Brittney announced, "Mikey want cookie; Mikey give me fake Man-Man."

For a second, Mike stood in firm silence, even the gathered crowd stayed quiet. Then suddenly, he bust out in a total selfish fit. "No! Mine! Mine! Mine! Get your own! Mine!" He howled as he hugged the cardboard cutout tighter and then swung it behind his back.

The whole audience busted up laughing again. This was better than a Las Vegas show for them.

Brittney had to physically try not to laugh. Justin's selfish display was so outrageously funny her whole body was shaking with laughter.

Mike continued to block the life-sized cutout with his body while simultaneously giving everyone the "Back Off" look. Also he added nervous right and left glancing into the mix.

Brittney took a couple of seconds to regain her composure and then dangled the delightful Oreo cookie just out of his reach again. "Mikey want cookie?"

Once again, his gaze locked longingly with the icing-filled morsel. "Cooookie," he mumbled low.

"I give Mikey cookie, if Mikey give me the fakey man." Brittney bargained with a huge smile as she waved the cookie around in front of his face.

Mike slowly brought the cardboard replica of him around and stood it in front of him. Suddenly, he hugged it tightly like he was saying goodbye to a close friend. Mike once again locked his brown eyes on the still-presented magnificently wonderful heaven-sent cookie. Brittney kept waving it at him just out of his reach.

With the speed of a striking Rattlesnake, Mike snapped the Oreo right out of her hand and then dropped the handsome cutout facedown on the autograph table. He hungrily shoved the whole cookie into his mouth and then hummed euphorically as he madly began chewing with his eyes closed.

Brittney quickly slid the newly signed cutout off of the table and then took 3 huge steps backward, all in one move. With her blue eyes still glued on Justin's display of a happily eating child, she stood the muscular cardboard male so as she could take a good look at him.

The next person in line took advantage of Brittney's sudden absence by quickly smacking down a small poster of Justin in his Soap Opera days onto the flimsy conference table. She gave his closed eyes a pleading look as she waited for him to recognize her.

Mike expected to continue the game when he finally opened his eyes. He took a step back in surprise when he saw a heavy-set Greek lady with long curly black hair nervously standing directly in front of him. However, he quickly retook his previous spot with a warm grin, "Hi.".

Before the dark haired woman with the deep black eyes could speak a single word, she was interrupted by another person with a rich black mane. "I am soo sorry everyone," the dark haired promoter sorrowfully announced. "But the hour for this splendid event has come and gone. The nice man in front of Deanna will be the last one for now. Don't worry though; we have a second autograph event planned at 3 o’clock. So don't you forget 3 o’clock?"

The extremely long line of people moaned sadly as the dark-haired promoter made his event-closing statement. There were still a good 50-75 people waiting patiently for their turn to meet their idols. Soon their soft plaintive moans turned into loud groans. They were more than a little bit unhappy. They were rather upset and they were going to display it vocally for all to hear. Most just complained loudly to their companions, who were in line with them. However, there were a select few that wanted the world to understand their pain.

The loud instigators yelled at the top of their lungs. Some yelled for more time. Some yelled at their favorite star for attention. Some yelled at the dark-haired promoter for not booking this event better. And some even yelled about how hot it was outside right now. It didn't seem to matter what was the subject, as long as they could yell about their frustration.

After listening to the once-happy crowd whine at the top of their lungs, Mike turned toward the raven-haired lady who was currently begging for his autograph and in a very serious but soft tone asked, "Would you please hold on a second? I have to try to yell above your head."

The curly haired Greek woman, going by the name of Tessa, gave her idol a quizzical look and then nodded an 'okay' in his direction.

At the very same moment that he was telling Tessa that he was going to be yelling through her, his never-stopping mind considered a different tactic. He quickly picked up Jessica's hot pink cell phone and asked, "KITT, are you still there?"

Of course, he was still listening in. This was his only auditory link to Michael and he was very happy with it. But would he reveal that to Michael? Heck No. "Yes Michael, I have not disconnected the line like you have done to me."

"Ouch KITT," Mike lightly chuckled and then turned serious. "KITT, can you amplify my voice so as the audience can hear me?"

"Yes Michael, what do you wish to say?" KITT was now intrigued.

"Just prepared the program and notify me when you are ready." Mike rushed KITT because he didn't want Tessa to wait much longer and the instigators that started this were quickly gaining support.

"Systems are ready. I have it set so that all you have to do is speak into the phone and every word will resound 50' in every direction from my current position." KITT proudly informed him. "When you are ready, begin."

"Testing, testing" Mike called out. The booming sound of his KITT-enhanced voice blared loudly.

Half of the noisy revelers instantly silenced when they heard the amplified voice boom. However, the other half continued their loud vocalizations, mainly because they couldn’t hear his voice over their own. They were on a roll and it was surprising to hear that they had even taken time out of their endless taunting to breathe.

“HELLO!” Mike yelled into the hot pink cell phone.

Some more of the rowdy crowd settled when they realized someone was speaking. However, there were still two or three young guys trying to rile the peaceful crowd up.

Lieutenant Cast also decided at this point to position some of her team defensively. However, she was careful to keep it low-key. It has been a proven fact that having a visible police presence can cause a demonstrating crowd to turn riotous. So Lieutenant Cast was cautious without being pushy.

Mike, on the other hand, was getting frustrated with the rebel rousers. “Excuse Me?! May I have your attention, please?” He yelled forcefully into Jessica’s cellular telephone. It was so loud and crude, Tessa took a full step back away from him.

“I want to personally thank you all for coming out this nice Saturday morning. I know that quite a few of you have come from far away to be here this morning for this very event.” Mike continued in a softer more grateful tone. “I am both thankful and thrilled for your support and yes, I have been hamming it up for you all.”

Mike paused for a second as he prepared to turn serious again. Now, the whole crowd stood silent in the wake of his words.

“Everyone here has worked very long and hard to put this great event together.” Mike surmised in a very serious and even tone. In all actuality, Mike had no real idea. He just stumbled upon this Festival by accident. “So those of you acting like douches, and you know who you are, are ruining it for the rest of us.”

Then Mike grinned a big cheesy grin and added with a chuckle, “Let’s keep the Fest in this Festival.”

The whole gathered audience groaned in unison and followed it with a what-a-horrible-joke eye roll. As soon as they all realized that they had all done it at the same time, the whole crowd, be it kid or adult, busted out in a deafening roar of laughter. The outrageous laughter was so loud; guests playing Blackjack inside the Golden Nugget Casino wondered out loud what that noise was.

5