Amber and Pills

Author:

Oneshot

Disclaimer: I don’t own Fullmetal Alchemist and I gain no profit from this fiction.

AN: This is a request that inuyasha horse lover made a long long long time ago. She wanted me to write an oneshot that expanded on a theme in my series, “100 First Thoughts.” I was clueless until a few nights ago when this came to me.
NOTE: I AM IN NO WAY PROMOTING SUICIDE IN THIS FICTION! IF YOU ARE SUICIDAL PLEASE GET HELP NOW. This fic is showing what can happen if you don’t get help so I can’t tell you enough that if you ever feel like ending it, talk to someone. Suicide is not the way out, it’s not the way to see loved ones again or escape. All of us have pain, sorrow, what I am trying to convey is that some of us do take the wrong turn. Some of us live through the attempt and learn a lesson and some of us don’t. The best thing to do is not to attempt it at all.

Amber and Pills

Wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, go home, eat a small dinner, get drunk, go to bed and repeat for the next five days. On weekends, it was just wake up, get drunk, and go to bed. These were the actions of Fuehrer Roy Mustang now that he'd made all of the necessary requirements to get the country running smoothly. His life was a never-ending cycle and he was making no effort to change a thing. He didn't want to change because he had very little to live for. The only reason he hadn't already blown his brains out was because of a promise he made to his late lover, Riza Hawkeye. She would want him to live on, find happiness, and die of old age.

He laughed bitterly as he lifted the thin-rimmed glass filled with amber liquid to his lips and took a generous drink. The liquid burned the lining of his esophagus and pooled down into his stomach, which was void of any solid sustenance. Happiness? He couldn't find happiness now that she was gone. Now that she was buried in the goddamn ground, tight fitting casket embracing her breathless body with its silk lining the way he should have been embracing her eupnoeic body with his muscular arms.

However, as he promised before the rebellion took place, he'd lived on after her death. He became fuehrer after much trial and error, and now people were hailing him as the best thing that ever happened to Amestris. The country had peaceful ties with its neighbors, the people were happy, and the economy was prosperous. Now, he just wanted to rest. The council would be able to take care of everything else. They didn't really need him anymore and he longed to see Riza again. He wanted to smell her perfume again and hear her chuckle. He wanted to look into her beautiful hazel eyes and see her smile at him.

He stared at the sleeping pills and the bottle of alcohol on the table, a deadly combination. He knew what would happen once he ingested the two. Both of them were depressants so when he took them, his body would relax, his breathing would gradually slow until it stopped, and his organs would shut down one by one. He didn't think it would be painless but he didn't care. He didn't deserve a painless death. Unless someone found him in time, which wasn't likely, he would be dead by morning.

Without any hesitation, he took a hand full of the pills and put them in his mouth. He sat the glass down on the table beside him and grabbed the bottle of alcohol. He lifted the bottle to his lips and began chugging down the strong liquid, feeling the pills slide down his throat one by one. Never did he once think of stopping.

He coughed, causing the alcohol to come up, leak out of the corners of his mouth, and down his jaw. It drenched his white shirt, causing it to clink to him like a second skin and give the appearance that the cloth was tannish.

He finished the entire bottle, not a single regret coming to his mind as the last drop cascaded down his throat. He lowered his arm over the arm of the chair and gripped the bottle by its neck. He stared at the fire for a moment before closing his eyes and relaxing.

Soon, the bottle fell from his grasp, hit the floor, and rolled toward the door, stopping when it hit the wood facing; the only animate action taking place in the room.

AN: Suicide hotline numbers are: 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255