AN: Wow, this chapter has been a long time coming. Sorry about that, guys.

NS -- A Relayed Valentine

Lothor smiled as Zurgane rushed out the door. Soon the general would arrive on Earth and begin terrorizing the already frantic Rangers. Lothor assumed their distress had something to do with it being Valentine’s Day, but didn’t feel all that concerned with finding out for sure. As long as he was adding to their troubles he was satisfied. After all, as he was very fond of saying, if you weren’t hindering your enemies, you weren’t a very good evil villain.

He opened his mouth to say just that when he realized that his nieces were nowhere to be seen.

“Choobo!” he snapped. “Where are those sad excuses for minions?”

Choobo turned from side to side, as if the girls would suddenly appear. “Uh, I think they’re still in bed, sir.”

“Bed?” Lothor thundered. “There will be no laziness on my ship! Go get them up!”

Choobo backed up behind a pack of kelzaks. “Well, I would, sir, but the last time I went in the girls’ room they … made me play dress up.”

Lothor rolled his eyes and felt a familiar pain behind his eyes. He stood, fighting the urge to quote a witch he once knew. “Fine, I’ll do it myself,” he muttered and stalked out the doors.

He took perverse joy in stomping down the hall, half-hoping the girls could hear him coming and half-hoping they were still abed when he came roaring in. The pink doors slid open when he neared and he took a deep breath, readying himself for his tirade, only to have it come out in a small gust when he saw his nieces. Marah was laying face-down on her ladybug bedspread and Kapri was beside her, stroking her back slowly. When the door whooshed open Kapri looked up, sending Lothor a look so menacing that he was actually quite proud.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his voice at a normal pitch and his tone as close to kind as it was ever likely to get.

Marah lifted her head just high enough from the pillows to wail, “It’s Valentine’s Day!” As she collapsed into sobs Kapri’s glare turned truly frightening.

“Look what you did!” she hissed before kneeling beside the bed and whispering to her sister.

“Why would she --” Lothor paused, a less-than-appealing thought occurring to him. “Is this about that idiot Yellow Ranger?”

“Yes!” Marah wailed, sitting up. “And he’s not an idiot!” She wasn’t wearing any makeup and tears had left tracks down her pale cheeks.

Lothor shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “Well, Zurgane’s on Earth. Would you like me to tell him to destroy the id- Yellow Ranger?”

“No!” Marah cried and jumped to her feet. “Why would you want to hurt him?” she asked, her voice climbing so high it turned into an almost unintelligible squeak.

“Because he didn’t send you a Valentine?” Lothor asked, not quite sure what to say to this side of Marah.

For a moment he thought she would burst into tears again but then she just sniffed and turned back to the bed. “Fine,” she muttered, sitting heavily. “Tell Zurgane to hit him extra hard, but not to hurt him.”

Lothor and Kapri exchanged a confused glance over Marah’s head. When Kapri just shrugged Lothor sighed and walked to the console on the wall, relaying his orders to Zurgane on the planet.

That done, he turned back to the girls. Marah was still sitting on the bed, sniffling pathetically, while Kapri tried to comfort her.

“Well,” Lothor said uncomfortably, “I’ll just be going.”

“No!” Marah called. “Can’t you stay?”

“Why?” Kapri and Lothor asked in unison.

Marah ducked her head. “You used to tell us stories.”

Lothor paled. Evil space ninjas were not supposed to entertain their nieces with stories. Frankly, it was a part of his past that he tried to ignore. If anyone else had brought it up, he would have beheaded them on the spot. As it was he sighed and trudged over to the bed.

“What kind of story would you like?” he asked.

“A love story!” Marah said immediately. “A true one!”

Lothor rolled his eyes. “All right,” he said warily, trying to think of a suitable story. There was only one that came to mind and he grimaced at the thought. But if he didn’t tell it, Marah was sure to burst into tears once more.

“Once, long ago, there was an evil ninja …”

Onyx was not the most comfortable planet in the universe, but it was better than some goody-two-shoes planet where he’d be hunted like a dog just for refusing to conform to society’s rules. A desert climate and wild west social structure (minus the sheriff) were the trade off for freedom from the law and most bad guys were willing to put up with it, at least for a little while.

Lothor was no different. He took a sip of his ale and glanced in the mirror over the bar. He had certainly fallen far since leaving Earth. There wasn’t much work for a lone ninja in space and he was nearly broke. He would probably end up running out on his tab, he mused as he ordered another round. The bartender, a creature resembling a praying mantis, delivered it with a hiss and Lothor turned to the room at large. A game of Fizzbin was being played at the room’s center table with shady deals being made at the tables circling it. Noises filtered down the stairs from the balcony and rooms up above but Lothor ignored them, he wasn’t interested in that kind of entertainment.

He kept his focus on the exits. He would need to make a run for it soon, before the bartender started getting suspicious. When he’d finally decided on an escape route -- over the Fizzbin game, around the slave traders in the corner, and out the window beside the fireplace -- a fist hit his face. As he fell off his stool he cursed himself, a good ninja would have seen that coming.

Two men began beating him, kicking him up against the bar as he clutched his head in his arms for protection. He wasn’t sure why they were attacking him, but this was Onyx, they didn’t need a reason. Before he could get enough of his bearings to fight back a shot rang out. The men immediately stopped and one of them fell to the floor. Lothor gaped at the man's dead eyes and the wound in his chest. The other man fled and in the silence that seemed to choke the room Lothor heard the distinctive sound of a woman’s heels. Two bright red boots came into his view as one of them toed the dead man’s head.

“Ugly bastard, isn’t he?” the woman asked.

Lothor looked up, anger making his blood boil. He leapt to his feet, his fists clenched and his jaw tight.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he growled.

“Saving your pathetic life,” she said, tossing her long, purple hair over her shoulder.

“I’ll show you who needs saving,” he said, taking an offensive stance.

She backed up a step. “A ninja, huh? Well isn’t that just perfect?” She holstered her gun and pulled a curved sword from her hip.

The door burst open and both of them turned to see the man from before, surrounded by several friends with very large guns.

Lothor and the woman exchanged a glance. “Enemy of my enemy,” he muttered as the shooting began.

They dove behind the bar and she wailed, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s a saying,” he yelled over the gunfire, “on my planet. It means we should work together.” He kicked the floor. “Can you blow a hole in this?”

“What good will that do?”

“Just do it!”

She rolled her eyes and shot the ground, blowing right through the wooden floor and the concrete beneath. “Now what?” she asked.

“This,” he said and dove into the hole she’d made. Dust flew up behind him as he bored through the earth.

She coughed on it and began cursing him and everyone in his family tree. When she’d run out of curses she sighed and hefted her gun. She would just have to take care of those men herself. With an Amazonian cry she leapt up just as a wave of sand burst through the door and windows. She stared dumbly as the sand filled the room like an angry bee swarm but left her untouched. Moments later it stopped, leaving the men buried up to their necks.

“Well,” Lothor said, ducking through the door, a self-satisfied smile on his face, “that was fun.”

The woman smiled at him. “Very nice,” she practically purred.

“Not that it was necessary,” he said, “I have a feeling you could have beaten them all by yourself. I’m Lothor, banished ninja,” he added, holding out his hand.

She took it, matching his firm grip. “Divatox, pirate queen. And I think I might have a position -- or two -- for you on my ship.”

He smiled, linking his arm through hers. “You know, as strange as it may be for a pirate and a ninja to work together, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

“Aww,” Marah cooed. “And a few months later you were married under the light of a burning moon you’d just pillaged.”

Lothor smiled wistfully and nodded.

Kapri rolled her eyes. “And a few years later they got divorced and Elgar got to go with Auntie Di while she jetted off to Earth to marry that lava-loser while we got stuck going to boarding school in the M-51 galaxy.”

“Hey!” Lothor snapped. “You should be glad you went to that boarding school. Your brother died when that wave decimated Dark Specter’s forces. Now, can I please go monitor the situation on Earth?”

The door slid open and Zurgane marched in. “No need, sir,” he said.

“Did we win?” Lothor asked mildly.

“Unfortunately, no.”

Lothor rolled his eyes, it was the answer he'd expected.

“But the Yellow Ranger did ask me to deliver this.” Zurgane held a pink envelope out to Marah, who took it tentatively. Kapri leaned over her shoulder and the two cried out gleefully as they read.

“He does care!” Marah cried, clutching the card to her chest and falling back on the bed.

Lothor sighed and excused himself as the girl-time began once more. He’d had enough love to last a lifetime.