Atlantis is different. Radek doesn’t think it can ever be the same.

He knows Colonel Carter is a level-headed, fiercely loyal leader who will lead the human race to victory if anybody can. He’s been told so many times (though never by Rodney), and he believes it. He has faith in her and what she can bring to the table. But she will never be Dr. Weir.

He knows he can never bring back Dr. Beckett. Trips to the infirmary, though rarely pleasant, seem a little less bright without his cheerful brogue ringing out. He can only hope his friend is in a better place. Sometimes he thinks of going fishing.

Every newfound absence seemed to strip away a little piece of Atlantis. Dr. Heightmeyer’s untimely death cast an eerie shadow over the hall by her quarters. Katie Brown went back to Earth – and Lord, had Rodney suffered – and the lovely Lieutenant Cadman was gone as well. Peter Grodin, whom he had grown a deep respect for, had made the ultimate sacrifice years before. If he stretches his memory, he thinks he can still hear Ford’s boyish laughter on a quiet Saturday night.

Even the very planet they lived on had been lost, now marked by a vast, empty ocean where the city once stood.

As time progresses, it seems faces grow more haggard and lined, muscles less toned, eyes less bright and youthful. It has been only a few years, but he has noticed it in himself – his unruly hair even less cooperative than before, his eyes late at night dull behind his glasses, his smile a bit less quick to surface. He has seen it in Rodney, who has gained a few more pounds than he admits, in Colonel Sheppard, whose stubble doesn’t quite cover the fine wrinkles beginning to mar his cheeks, and even in Teyla, whose gaze seems harsher when she believes she is alone. He sees it even in the city, which tries to repair itself but cannot bring back everything it seeks.

He tells himself he is exaggerating.

Atlantis is a beacon of hope for the Pegasus galaxy, a small, faint glow for the ravaged civilizations so like herself.

And sometimes, when the teams return through the gate and their triumph is celebrated, he catches a glimpse of that hope.

As long as he has strength left, he knows he will work to keep it aglow.