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Author of 4 Stories |
Author's note: Hey everyone! Look, I know its been a long time since I last updated, but my life is pretty fail atm, and I am studying like a mad thing for exams, so the updates will still be slow for a while, but please bare with me. I don't want to say too much more about this chapter, so just read on. Also, I had no idea what to call this chapter, so I stuck with "movement".
Disclaimer: I do not know (or own) any of the characters in this story, be they real or a figment of my imagination. No personal infringement is intended by writing this story. Neither do I own "Your song" by Elton John. Basically, I have nothing, so please leave me alone :(
Movement:
"Where exactly are we going?" I asked for the third time, staring impatiently out the cab window. Rob laughed softy under his breath.
"Fine, I'll tell you," he said, turning my face towards him with the tip of his finger, "My dad bought this place years ago when we came here, but seeing as we've never come back since then, he rents it out for weddings, and parties and stuff. That's what I was out doing today. I had to organize this with him, and then go and get some other things sorted out."
"Oh," I said quietly, looking down again, a feeling of absolute relief flooding through me. "I thought you didn't want to see me after what happened last night."
Rob paused for a long time, before tilting my chin up again. "I told you, I forgave you for behaving the way you did. It was fully understandable after what I did," he said, his voice dropping at the end, shifting his eyes quickly out the window.
I was suddenly filled with confusion. "No, that's not what I meant," I said quickly, hating myself for having to say the words out loud, but knowing at the same time that I had to, if things were going to back to normal. "I thought you were angry at me for kissing you,"
He laughed, "Kristen, I think you'll find that that was my fault. I shouldn't have kissed you. Not while you're still, you know…" he trailed off, looking down at his hands with a brooding expression. I was still confused.
"But I thought you were angry with me for the kiss because you didn't feel the same way. And that's totally okay with me. It won't be weird or anything, we'll –"
"Wait," he said interrupting me, looking up first with puzzlement, which I'm sure mimicked mine, which turned into a sort of awe, "What do you mean, "don't feel the same way"?"
I looked at him, realization breaking over me. I opened my mouth to say something, though not really sure what. But before I could do anything more than smile at him open mouthed like a deranged goldfish, the cab driver called back something in Italian, and I realized we had stopped. Rob handed the driver the money, and then turned to open the door. I climbed out as quickly as I could; walking round the car and grabbing Rob's hand, suddenly feeling a strong need to hold onto him. He seemed just as eager, gripping my hand tightly and pulling me after him as he walked down a small alleyway. My curiosity flared again, and I looked inquiringly up at Rob, "Seriously, where are you taking me?"
He didn't look at me, and continued to pull me along, but the corner of his mouth twitched, and I could see that my irritation was amusing to him, and normally this would have bothered me, but all I could think about was how much I wanted to touch the dimple on his cheek that appeared whenever he smiled. We didn't walk for very long, before we encountered a flight of stairs that looked so old and worn down, I would normally have been worried about crashing down them. But I was distracted by the amazing view that now lay before me. We were standing on the top of a small cliff, the stairs leading down to a sandy, white beach, and the sea seemed to stretch out forever.
"Wow," was all I could choke out, still unable to take my eyes off it. "Your dad owns this place?"
"Yeah," he said, looking down the stairway. "Well, technically, he only owns the little beach down there, but the view is pretty spectacular."
I just nodded, smiling quickly at him before looking back out.
"Come, this isn't the best part," he said, leading me towards the stairs. I had been right about them being slippery, and Rob being even more uncoordinated than I was, kept slipping and grabbing onto me, nearly pulling me down with him twice, but the terrifying climb to the bottom was definitely worth it.
The view was even more incredible from the beach, as you couldn't see anything else from down there, except the sea, the cliff face, and the rocks that created a fortress on either side. The beach was quite big, and in the middle, there was a burnt circle of sand where fires were obviously held often. There was a huge quilty-blanket type thing laid on the sand, with a few pillows and a cooler box. Rob's guitar case lay next to a small pile of towels. I smiled at him, walking over to the blanket.
"Oh my god, did you do all this today?" I said turning to find him still standing at the bottom of the stairs.
"Yeah. I hope its okay. I just really wanted to apologize for calling you crazy. And some other things." He said smiling sheepishly down at his shoes.
"Are you kidding me? This is perfect. Seriously. Apology fully and totally accepted," I said flopping down onto the blanket. "And stop standing around like a loser, come sit here." I wasn't too sure what I was doing, but I had always followed my instincts, and right then I felt pretty confident I was doing the right thing.
He walked over cautiously, and stood awkwardly over me. I pulled him down next to me, and he sat down quickly, banging his head against mine.
"Ow," he said laughing, breaking the tension. He rolled over and dug around in the cooler bag, producing two beers and a large sub-sandwich. I took half, suddenly realizing that I hadn't eaten the whole day, and scarped it down. I then sat back against the pillows and stared out at the sea, sipping the beer and enjoying the bitter, slightly salty taste. Rob leant next to me and rested his head on mine. I relaxed and leaned against him, watching a few birds darting around in the last rays of the setting sun. I felt Rob's weight shift as he turned to look at me. He lightly stroked his fingers up and down my arm, drawing small circles on my skin. It was one of the nicest sensations I had ever felt, incredibly relaxing, but at the same time, it made the blood shoot through my arm, and I was suddenly over conscious of the fact that we were completely alone.
"So you really think its okay? It's not too much for you, or anything?" he said softly, smiling up at me through his lashes, the last remnants of sunlight turning his eyes a clear gold-greenish color.
"I told you, this is perfect. I like that you've organized everything. And it's not too much, it's you. Thank god you didn't, like, hire a string quartet and bring a bottle of champagne and get all tuxedo-ed up on me. Then I'm pretty sure I'd have to kill you."
He laughed, and flicked my chin, "You know, you've just described the stereotypical "perfect guy."'
"So? This is perfect to me. Because it's not perfect. I prefer things that have more meaning in them, like having you play a song that you wrote on your guitar, instead of having a bunch of drunk bastards playing "The way you look tonight" on some cheap-ass guitar they probably stole from a thrift shop. To have you bringing my favorite beer, that I know they don't sell in Italy for us tonight, and a sandwich that you probably only remembered to pick up about two minutes ago, and probably comes from some dodge café downtown, by the way it tasted, is one thousand times better than a gourmet meal prepared by the best chefs in Italy, that gets made for hundreds of people every day. That's my definition of perfect."
Rob stared at me for a while in awe, before saying roughly, "Kristen Stewart, I think you might just be my definition of perfect."
I smiled, feeling my cheeks heat up, and hiding my face in his shoulder. I really wanted to tell him I thought the same of him, but I couldn't bring myself to interrupt this moment quite yet. We sat like that for a long time, the sun gradually fading away over the sea, until the whole world was swallowed in darkness.
Eventually, Rob got up and started getting a fire going. I sat watching him work, smiling whenever he looked over at me. When he was finished, he stood up and looked at me for a while, his eyes lingering on mine for a long time, before slowly trailing their way over my body, not like most men who seemed to be admiring the prospect, but more as though he was trying to memorize every curve and inch of me. I had never felt more vulnerable than I did in that moment, as if I were standing naked in front of a million people, but he smiled, his eyes looking back into mine and he walked over slowly, and sat down next to me, never breaking the eye contact. He leant down, leaning the side of his face against mine, and said in a soft but uneven voice, "You look incredible in that dress,"
I felt every muscle in my body loosen, and I pulled back to look him in the eyes. He stared at me for a long time, and even though I wanted nothing more to lean forward and touch my lips to his, I didn't, because the sensations running through me were ones that I had never experienced before.
The lust I recognized immediately, although I had never felt it as strongly as I did then, the heat rippling through me in an almost painful way. But there were other things that were completely new to me; for instance, I never wanted him to look away. I could sit there for a long time and just look at him, and have him look at me, as though I was the most incredible sight he had ever seen.
And it hit me. It hit me like a wrecking ball hits an unexpecting house. Except that when it did, I didn't feel the mind-shattering pain that the house would feel. I just felt like something had exploded inside of me, and was seeping a strange but incredible substance through me.
I had fallen in love with him.
This man, who I had shared so much with over the past year. This man who I had promised myself, my boyfriend, my friends, my family, my employees, and the entire world I would never care for as more than a friend. And it wasn't as I had thought last night. This wasn't just something that I could blow away and forget about, like my feelings for Michael, which tore slightly at my mind even then to think about, but that I knew were a thing of the past. This was something much, much more.
Because reflected in his eyes, which I now felt sure I could draw from memory, were the same feelings that had confused me for so long. So I couldn't look away.
He pulled away too soon, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair as if to steady himself, before reaching over me and pulling the guitar out of its case. He pulled it onto his lap and started to play a song that I recognized. It was one of his songs, and I lay back down looking up at the stars that were starting to shine through the darkness, listening to the notes stretching round the silence, and filling me with such a bitter-sweet feeling that I closed my eyes, and drifted, thinking of how much I had changed over the past week. The song came to an end, and he started to play another one that I recognized, but it wasn't one of his. I sat up, looking him in the eye. "I remember this," I said softly, drawing a pattern in the sand next to me. "Your Song by Elton John. We sang that in Tokyo at that karaoke place."
He nodded, smiling and started to sing. I watched his hands pluck the keys, listening to the words, and suddenly understanding them in a better light. I thought back to that night when we had been singing, and smiled, remembering how hard I had been telling myself not to get too caught up in the emotion that I was feeling. How I had brushed away my feelings for Rob even then, thinking that they were merely a reflection of my character's, and in any case, I had someone else. Neither of which were true anymore.
"And you can tell everybody,
That this is your song.
It may be quite simple but,
Now that it's done,
I hope you don't mind,
I hope you don't mind,
That I've put down in words;
How wonderful life is
Now you're in the world."
The song drifted to an end, and he looked up at me smiling.
"Don't stop," I pleaded, and after a moments hesitation, he complied.
"I don't mean to bring back bad memories, but most of this song is quite good…" he said starting up a new tune that I recognized in an instant.
He was playing Call off the Search from last night, but he changed it a little to suit his voice. As he played it, the previous evening flashed back in front of my eyes: Him pulling me onto the dance floor; pulling me up against his body; looking into my eyes; his fingers on my lips; his mouth pressed against mine.
Him pushing me away. Me shouting those awful words.
I gasped as a tear rolled down my cheek, and he looked up, his fingers slipping on the guitar strings. "Sorry," he said, looking away from me down to the guitar again. "I can't remember how it ends." His face crumpled slightly, as he remembered what had happened the night before.
And that's what did it for me. His face, falling into that dark hole again, the one I remembered vividly from the night before. And I promised that I would never be the cause of making his face look like that again.
"I know how it should have ended," I said quietly, my voice suddenly sharp and clear, as I pulled myself up onto my knees and leant towards him. He looked up at me with a curious look, his eyes boring into mine for a second before I leaned over and pressed my mouth to his softly. I pulled away slightly, leaning my forehead against his. He stared at me with a look of slight wonder. I leant down again, pressing my lips to his harder this time, lengthening the kiss, but he pushed me away, looking at me sternly in the eyes.
"Are you sure this is what you want. Because I don't want to force anything on you, not if you're not ready. I could –"
But I pushed a finger against his lips, silencing him. I nodded slowly, smiling slightly and pulled my finger away, trailing my hands down his arms and gripping his hands in mine. I stood up slowly, holding his eyes in mine, and gently pulled him up after me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with all the force that I had in me, before releasing him, except for one hand, and pulling him over to the waters edge.
I let go of him and stepped slightly into the water. There weren't any large waves here, just the pushing and pulling motion of the water. I waded out until it reached above my knees, pulling at the edges of my dress. I looked up at the sky in front of me, breathing in deeply, and turned around to face him. He was still standing at the edge, watching me curiously, his face lit up with something I had never seen there before. He paused, seeming to read my eyes, then waded out towards me, holding out his hand which I took hold of immediately. I pulled him up against me and kissed him again, hard. At first he seemed resistant, as though he was still undecided, and I moaned, frustrated, as I pushed my self against him, standing on my toes to get closer. The groan seemed to do it, because he immediately seemed to spark alive and kissed me with just as much enthusiasm, lifting me up slightly with his hands around my waist. His mouth moved down my throat, burning every point that it touched, and he ran it over my collar bone, slowly from side to side, before moving down my chest. I gasped slightly, pulling his lips back up to mine and kissing him with as much strength as possible. He breathed in sharply, and suddenly pulled me down roughly so that he landed on his back in the water, and I landed on top of him. However, it didn't have the result either of us wanted, as the water sprayed up over both of us causing me to yell in shock as its cool wetness slashed onto my burning skin. He laughed, breaking away from me, and rolled over, so that we were ling side by side, with me slightly under him. He smiled down at me again, pushing a wet strand of hair out of my face. I brushed my lips over his hand and he smiled again, tracing their outline with his fingers.
He leant down and pressed his mouth against mine. "So you're really sure," he said softly against my lips, his breath brushing against my skin. I pulled back, opening my eyes.
"Rob, I don't want anything more than I want this," I said, looking into his eyes and running my hand slowly down his chest and over his shirt, which clung tightly to his skin with water. His groaned as my hand reached the zip of his jeans and pulled me slowly but forcefully towards him. He covered my mouth with his, still keeping his eyes locked in mine, and I felt the slow burning inside me shoot through every inch of my body. I ran my hands over his shirt, slowly undoing each button, still looking into his eyes, which were now burning uncontrollably. I pulled the shirt off his arms, leaving it in the water and gripped the tops of his shoulders as tightly as I could, wrapping my leg around his waist. But my arm slipped, and he fell on top of me, banging my head against his painfully.
"Ow!" I yelped out, and he stood up, pulling me with him. He held my hands and pulled me deeper into the water, until he came to a large rock on the side. He turned and pressed me against it. His hands moved up my back, until he found the zipper of the dress. He pulled it down slowly, trailing his fingers over my skin. He then brushed his hands up to my shoulders, where he hooked them into the straps of my dress, and pulled it down my arms. He peeled the wet material off my skin, and I kicked it off my legs, wrapping them around his waist. He moved his lips from my mouth and started trailing them over my throat, pulling my bra straps off my shoulders.
I turned my face into his hair, breathing in his scent. The water lapped over my skin, strangely contrasting the heat that filled me and surrounded me. I could feel his heart beating hard and fast against my skin and I pulled myself closer to him, desperate for more contact. I felt him smile against my neck, and felt his hands unclip the clasp on my bra. I shook it off and pressed against him, the water suddenly turning warm all over. He moved his mouth down my chest, and kissed me, slow and hard. I gasped and whispered out suddenly, "God, I love you."
He stopped.
I felt him lift his head up slowly, and I opened my heavy lidded eyes. He was staring at me in shock, and looked as though he wasn't quite sure he'd heard me.
"What?" he said, breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling against mine.
I looked down, suddenly wishing that I had kept my mouth shut. Leave it to me to ruin the most incredible sex I had ever had, and now probably would never have. "You heard what I said," I whispered, equally out of breath. I paused, and he didn't move for a time that seemed to stretch on for hours, though it couldn't have been more than a few seconds. "I just – I didn't know until recently and..." I said, trailing off lamely. He still hadn't said anything "Look, you don't have to say it back or anything. I shouldn't have. I wasn't thinking I'm sorr-"
"Don't." he said cutting me off. I looked up then, because his tone sounded almost angry. "Don't even think about taking it back."
"What do you mean?" I said, suddenly feeling a slight hope burning again deep inside me.
He spoke clearly, taking hold of my face, and looking my straight in the eyes. "I mean, Kristen Stewart, that I love you. I have for a very long time. I never even dreamed that you would ever say it back. And I'm still not quite sure that you did." I small smile that I recognized crept onto his face as he said the last part, it was a smile I knew from whenever I laughed at one of his jokes, or congratulated him in front of a camera, or even when I admitted that he was right.
Victory.
I smiled back at him, and breathed in to steady my voice. "I love you. I want you. Now."
The smile broke out even bigger, and he pulled me against him with what could only be called violence, and I laughed as he kissed me harder than he ever had before. He pushed me against the rocks, and they grazed my back in a way that should have been painful, but at that moment, I didn't care. I ran my fingers through his hair, and locked my legs around him even tighter. His hands moved down to my knees, and then grazed them up my thighs, causing me to gasp and grab onto his arms.
The sea continued moving around us, causing amazing friction all over my skin, as he quickly discarded with the rest of our clothes. He pushed me up against the rock again, and then he was everywhere. I felt him enter me and cried out slightly, and his breathing knocked up to gasps, mine following shortly after. The heat that had been building slowly inside of me was shooting through me, until I was sure it would burn me. But it kept growing and growing, and suddenly it exploded inside of me, causing me to cry out in pleasure. I felt Rob moan against my lips, but the heat did not stop. It grew again, as he pushed me again and again against the rock and finally it gave out, like a thousand fireworks pulsing through my nerves. I heard him breathe out heavily for the last time, and I rested my head against his shoulder closing my eyes, suddenly exhausted, and pressed my lips against his burning skin, thinking how wrong I had before been on the beach.
This was perfect.
I watched the firelight dance over the skin on my hands, as he held them up in front of us. He stroked the lines that my veins created, twirling the rings round and round. Neither of us had said anything when we had eventually come back on the beach. He was now lying next to me on the blanket, his warmth radiating onto me.
He turned my hand over and continued to observe every detail, and I turned to look at him. He turned to me and smiled, and he looked more relaxed and happy than I had ever seen him. I liked that I had done that. Just as I had made him cry out in the water.
I cleared my throat, wanting to hear his voice again, just to assure myself of reality, as I was sure that I would come crashing down from this heaven at any moment, and be lying in my bed at home. "What are you thinking?" I said, and he twitched slightly, as if he had gotten a fright at the sound of my voice.
"Just that I can't believe that I'm lucky enough to be lying here, with you next to me," he said, smiling sadly at me.
I pulled my hand out of his, and gently brushed my fingers against his face. He brought his hand up to hold it there, stroking my palm slowly. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." I smiled then, changing my tone, and pulling myself closer to him. "After what you just did to me, you'll probably never get rid of me."
He raised his eyebrows, his smile turning playful.
"Was I any good?" he said, but under the cockiness, I could tell that this question really had been bothering him.
I looked him in the eyes, my face turning serious. "Rob. You were incredible."
I could see he was about to argue with me, tell me I was lying or something along those lines, but I put my fingers against his lips and pulled my face level with his. I took my finger off his mouth and kissed him, slowly but earnestly. I ran my fingers over his chin and down his neck, and continued to run them down his chest, feeling his heart rate increase again. "That was the best sex I have ever had," I said, enunciating each word with a kiss. I moved away from him, and smiled at the dazed expression on his face.
"And I came twice. Or is that not enough for you. I can carry on," I said smiling suggestively.
He smiled back, "I will remember that later, you know." He said, now running his hand down my chest, and tracing patterns against my skin.
We lay there for a long time, and he started playing with my fingers again. I watched his hands move over mine, and suddenly thought of something as he twisted a silver ring round my finger.
"Michael gave me that ring," I said without thinking. He paused for a millisecond, and I saw him cringe a little, but he continued playing with the rings on my other hand.
"Wait," I said, pulling my hands away from his. I pulled the ring off my finger, and sat up, lifting my arm up to throw it. But his hand covered mine.
"Don't do that, Kristen. You're not ready. You don't have to prove anything to me." His voice was calm, but I could detect the sadness underneath it.
I nodded, "You're right," I said, "I'm not ready to do that. And I don't have to prove anything to you. But I want to do this."
I dropped Michael's ring on the sand next to me, and pulled the ring that Rob had given me off my finger where it rested above Nikki's, and pushed it onto the empty space that Michael's had left. "This one fits better."
He looked at me sadly, brushing his fingers over my lips. "Thank you," he said simply.
He stared at me for a long while, seeming to look for something in my eyes.
"Now what are you thinking?" I said exasperated after a while, causing him to smile.
"I still don't think I deserve you," he said looking as though he wished it wasn't true.
I sighed, wishing that I could take away the pain and the doubt, but I knew he'd never listen if I argued. I stared back at him wistfully. "Look I'm not going to argue with you now," I said softly, "But whether you deserve me or not, is irrelevant. I'm here, and I want to be here. I'll probably want to be here for a very long time. And it's not because you're my friend. And it's not because of the media. And it's not just because of the amazing sex, although that definitely scored a few points. And it's not because you do or don't deserve me. It's just because this is right. It has been right from the moment I met you. You were the one I knew I could fall in love with, even if at the time I believed it would just be acting. You stood out in those auditions to me, and only now I realize now its because we are supposed to be with each other. I have never felt like this before. I know that. And I couldn't be happier than I am right now. This morning when I thought you didn't want to see me, I was horrified. So believe me, I want to be here. I want to be with you. I. Want. You. Always. So will you shut up now?"
He smiled, pulling me against him, and I closed my eyes, exhausted from all that I had been through that day.
He kissed the top of my head, and whispered softly in my ear, "I know that, Kristen. That's why it's so hard to believe."
I flicked him slightly, and he laughed, resting his head against mine.
The fire gave one last desperate crackle, and died.
End notes: Okay, I have never written anything like that before, so feedback is appreciated. This chapter was kindof the (super cheesy moment coming) "meadow scene, *cringe* of this story, as it was the one that popped into my head first.
Now, at this point I could be a nice person, and leave everyone happy and running off into the sunset. But then it wouldn't be much of a story, so don't think that this has ended here. When I first started writing this, it was just me messing around, as I have been writing for myself since the day my pre-school teacher handed me a pencil, but then I decided to post it. So I never expected anyone to read, or let alone review this story, so I would just like to say a HUGE thanks to all that have commented so far.
Anyway, hope to bring the next update to you soon, and have a great week.
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