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Chapter 2: Addiction.

House got up the next morning feeling literally like crap. He had been sweating most part of the night, only going to sleep about three hours after getting into bed. His head was still filled with images but none of them could be connected to what he had been doing those three days he had no memory of. He wanted to know, he’s House. Usually he’d want to try some insane procedures to try and recover his memory but he couldn’t make up his mind about it. So instead of trying to diagnose himself, he would go what he’s forced to do against a paycheck: his job. As if out of control of his own mind and principles, House got up, took a quick shower and got dressed. He didn’t realize as he left that he had taken a bottle of Jack Daniels in his backpack.

After he arrived at the hospital, House went to the fourth floor and dropped his things off. He saw his team was there –actually, his new and old team. Opening the door to the other room, he said, “Do we have a case?”

“Nope.” Chase said, “We just wanted to see you.”

“Ask you where you’ve been for the past three days.” Cameron said.

“And you still think he’s going to answer you?” Foreman let out, rolling his eyes.

“Did you get high?” Thirteen asked out of nowhere.

“DO YOU MIND IF I SPEAK?” House said loud enough for them to shut up.

Kutner and Taub simply nodded, very frightened by his tone.

“I have no memory of where I was and what I was doing, so yeah I think it might be drugs related but let me reassure you, I’m not doing drugs.”

“It doesn’t really make any sense.” Chase cut in.

“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to make sense out of things I don’t want to talk about.” House assured him. “Anyway, once I’m done with the Clinic, I’ll go to the ER and try to get us a patient . You know, keeping busy instead of doing absolutely nothing like you guys.” He added, leaving the room.

“Since when are we the ones doing absolutely nothing?” Thirteen expressed.

“Did he just say he was going to the Clinic?” Foreman cut in.

“House doing Clinic duty?” Cameron paused, “Something’s got to be wrong.”

“Hello, I’m doctor House.” House said coming in Exam Room 1, “So what seems to be the problem.”

Cuddy came out of her office, ready to do her daily two hours of clinic. Arriving at the Nurse’s Station, she asked one of the nurses, “How many patients today?”

“We’ve had quite a bunch actually.” The nurse said, “But every single one of them is being taken care of.”

“What do you mean? Is Carson in an extremely good mood today to be taking on so many patients?” Cuddy asked.

“No, it’s Dr. House.” The nurse shrugged, “He said he wanted to take care of as many patients as he could.” She paused, “And he’s doing it quite fast.”

“No kidding.” Cuddy shook her head.

“Don’t get me wrong Dr. Cuddy. I was quite surprised as well and so I checked on the patients after they had their consults with him and to my improbable surprise, they were very thankful that Dr. House had diagnosed them so easily and nicely.”

“House doesn’t do nice.” Cuddy frowned.

“Well then he must be rational, apparently, he hasn’t been a jerk to them.” The nurse said, “So no, I have no patients for you yet.”

Suddenly, the door to Exam Room 1 opened and what she saw and heard terrorized her to say the least. A young teenager came out of the room with a smile on his face and she heard House utter, “Next.”

She rushed to Exam Room 1, pulling House back inside the room and closed it behind them.

“Cuddy dearest, are you sick too?” He asked, quite stunned in fact.

“What the hell is going on?” She asked him.

“What do you mean?” He asked back.

“You HATE Clinic duty and you don’t act nice around patients. So what the hell is going on?” She said.

“First of all, I’m not being nice to them. I’m just not being a jerk. Second of all, I’m supposed to work, aren’t I?”

“No! You don’t do that!” She expressed, completely out of touch.

“Why can’t you just enjoy it and why not thrive on it while it lasts?” He asked her, definitely unable to answer her properly.

“Either something is very wrong with you or you’re trying to seduce me by doing the things I’ve wanted you to do for years.” She said, pointing a finger against his chest.

“I don’t need to do my job to seduce you Cuddy.” He assured her, “I just have to back you up against that wall and you’re mine.” He claimed.

“Right…” She said, “Whatever is going on, I mean, if it’s one of your stupid games again, you better stop it right now because I’m not going to fall for it.”

“Maybe something is wrong with me.” He said, “But do you honestly believe it’s a bad thing that I’m working properly for once in my life?”

“No, it’s just-“She paused, concerned, “It’s not you.”

“Was that a declaration of your unconditional love for me?” He asked, smirking slightly.

“See, I knew this was a trick.” She said, “I am not going to fall for this.”

“Why would you fall anyway?” He asked, “Don’t you have an amazing boyfriend to go back home to?”

“Why are you pushing it?” She asked him, getting slightly angry.

“I’m not. I’m just considering facts.” He shrugged.

“No, you’re trying to figure out someone other than you because I’m sure you know there’s something wrong with you.” She claimed.

“You’re in denial, which means you know there’s something wrong with your relationship with your boyfriend.” He said, eyeing her carefully.

“Why are you acting like that?” She asked his analysis of her troubling her and scaring her more than usual. “Something is off!”

“Or maybe something is on and you think you will fall again.” He pushed, never feeling this less in control of what was coming out of his mouth.

“I’m done with this.” She said, about to leave but before she could take a hold of the doorknob he grabbed her arm fiercely, trying to prevent her from going anywhere. Instantly words echoed in his mind:

This is where you’re wrong. You’re in control of what comes in and out of your mouth.

“House, let go of my arm.” She said, calmly but he was just not paying attention to her anymore.

“House, let go!” She said louder this time, he was still and completely out of his mind, as if in a trance.

A man- Doctors- Diagnosis- A woman- Pain- Vicodin- Sex- Affection- Need- Anger- Resolution- A solution- Death-

She noticed he was starting to sweat, “House.” She yelled and he suddenly let go of her arm and said, “Get out Cuddy.”

Pain- Vicodin- Patients- Disease- Bourbon-

“What the hell is wrong, House!” She exclaimed, “Talk to me, damnit.”

“Nothing, I’m just tired.” He paused, trying to not make sense of what had just happened. In less than ten seconds, he had images of himself, his addiction, his pain, her squirming naked on top of him and then the same vision he had the previous night. Those flashes had then settled on a bottle of alcohol he was addicted to, which means those images were his, he just couldn’t figure anything out.

Cuddy watched him attentively and seeing him process things like that really scared her, “You should go home, House. I’m giving you some time off. Take it.” She said, leaving him once and for all as she feared she could put her mind to a stupid state. She couldn’t reveal herself to him, not ever, not again.

Was he becoming schizophrenic? House didn’t think so as the symptoms just didn’t fit. If he hadn’t been this good, he would have thought he was schizophrenic –which scared him because he knew that as much as he was a genius he also happened to be a champion when it came to being in denial.

“Something is wrong with House.” Cuddy said, barging in Wilson’s office.

“Everything’s always wrong with him everyday of the week. It’s been like that ever since we’ve known him, remember?” Wilson shrugged off.

“This time, I’m serious. It’s not like he’s on a Vicodin roll or like he’s switching drugs or just going through depression, he… grabbed my arm quite violently.” She paused, “It’s just not-“

“House wouldn’t even hurt a bee and I’m pretty sure you’re the last person on this planet that he wants to hurt.”Wilson explained, “

“He’s a human being, even I have slapped girlfriends of mine in the past, I mean he could become violent.” Cuddy explained, “You never know.”

“No, I know for sure he would never hurt you, me maybe because he knows I can take it and truthfully sometimes deserve a few punches just like he does.” He paused, “But you? He couldn’t. Your boyfriend? Probably though.”

“He’s been quite okay with this, I think.” She folded her arms.

“He has never been.” Wilson acknowledged her, “And he’ll probably never be.”

“It doesn’t explain why he would go all strong on me while I’m supposedly the object of his affection.” Cuddy added.

“I’ll go check on him tonight, okay?” Wilson said, “But I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Thanks.” She simply said, leaving the oncologist’s office.

House came down to the ER and saw Cameron, “Got any unknown disease for me today?” he asked her, with a smile.

“Did you sleep with Cuddy?” She asked him.

“Not yet!” He stopped smiling.

“Well don’t smile like that then because it’s weird.” She explained.

“Can I has a patient, puhlease?” He asked again.

“I don’t have anyone here that could be of any interest to you.” She said, going back to her files.

He suddenly grabbed her chart and said, quite angrily, “Well you better give me one fast because I hate not being active.”

“House, calm down!” She tried, slightly frightened by his tone and attitude.

“What’s wrong?” Suddenly came Chase’s voice.

“Nothing.” House said, leaving the ER prematurely.

“Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” He asked Cameron, putting an arm on her shoulder.

“I’m… fine but” She paused, “I don’t think he is.”

“We should tell Cuddy.” Chase said, leading her out of the ER.

House decided to go clear his head and left the hospital. He rode his bike as fast as he could. For those about to Rock by ACDC playing extremely loud in his helmet headphone, he could finally feel in control of something. House felt as if he couldn’t control his brain, hence no control over his body and actions, and he had no desire to see anyone anymore. The only thing he could think of at during this controllable ride, was to go home and drink all the bourbon he could just to shut his brain off.

Cuddy heard a knock on her door and invited the person in. Two friendly faces came inside and both said at the same time, “It’s about House.”

“What has he done again?” Cuddy asked. The usual.

“Something is very wrong with his attitude and you know how we know ways to deal with him.” Cameron paused, “but this time, he just… doesn’t respond the way he would usually respond.”

“Has he been slightly violent?” Cuddy asked.

Cameron nodded and Chase said, “But she’s fine. He just wanted a patient badly, apparently.”

“Wilson’s going to see him tonight.”

“Tell him to wear a shield.” Chase tried to joke.

“And if it doesn’t work, I guess I’ll have to admit him.” Cuddy said, looking away.

“Do you think it has anything to do with-“Cameron tried to ask.

“He hasn’t brought it up in almost a year and he said he was fine with him.” Cuddy stopped her right there.

“And you believe him?” Cameron asked.

“Of course she doesn’t!” Chase cut in.

Cuddy took in a breath and said, “I don’t know if I can even believe myself.”

“‘About time!” Chase cut in again and this time, Cameron hit his chest with her elbow.

“Shut up.” She murmured.

“You guys should go back to work, if there’s anything new, I’ll let you know.” Cuddy sighed.

They both nodded and headed outside the Dean’s office.

Around 7:00PM, House was already down to his fifth glass of Jack Daniels when he heard a knock on the door.

House groaned and went for the door and opened it.

“Oh My God! Isn’t it my best friend?” House expressed, “Well it was nice seeing you, buh-bye.” He tried to close the door on Wilson, who inevitably stopped him.

“You’re drunk.” Wilson said, making his way in.

“Noooooo!” House claimed.

“Can I have one?” Wilson asked, figuring it would be easier to have a conversation with his friend if he were to make the situation more enjoyable with alcohol.

“That’s my man!” House said, getting on his couch and pouring his friend a drink.

Wilson eyed him carefully before he sat down next to his friend. Something struck him. An ashtray was on the table, “I didn’t know you enjoyed cigars outside fundraisers and pranks.”, Wilson raised an eyebrow.

House picked something situated behind him on the couch, “A pack of cigarettes?” Wilson exclaimed seeing the item in House’s hand.

“I have no idea why but I’ve suddenly developed an addiction.”

“It’s not even open yet.” Wilson frowned, ready to stop his friend from opening it, any second now.

House shook his head no as he started to open it, “You either let me or I throw you out of my apartment.”

Wilson gave up and took a sip of his own bourbon.

“I know you’re trying not to ask me so I’m going to talk about it freely, from my own perspective which will allow you to bring your conclusions to Cuddy.” House paused, putting the cigarette in his mouth and lighting it, exhaling the smoke he said, “Trying to pretend you’re not diagnosing the diagnostician is not something you’re very good at.”

“Okay, I fold.” Wilson said, “What happened between you and Cuddy today?”

He took another puff and said, “I was thinking about something and didn’t realize I was applying too much pressure on her arm. I wasn’t thinking, neither about stopping her or anything else. It happens you know, just like my epiphanies.”

“Except it wasn’t an epiphany House!” Wilson got a little annoyed.

“It doesn’t matter.” House said gulping his sixth glass of bourbon and said, “It won’t happen again.”

“Tomorrow, I’m asking Cuddy to admit you for some tests.” Wilson said, getting up.

“What?” House chuckled, “Come on, I didn’t go to the fucking hospital for three days and now suddenly I’m this guy that seems different?” He paused, “What do you think happened in those three days?”

“I don’t know and you don’t seem to be remembering anything.” Wilson argued.

“And you think that maybe something happened to me?” House expressed.

“Well you’re the diagnostician. Shouldn’t you have figured this out already?” Wilson kept going, “If you can’t remember even the slightest thing, I mean, come on! It is so obvious something has happened to you.”

“Or maybe I just don’t want to tell you guys what happened.” House shrugged.

“No you wouldn’t and the fact that you just got extensively wasted proves it.” Wilson expressed, walking to the front door.

“Come on, I handle my booze quite correctly and you know it!” House said, “By the way, are you going to finish that?” House asked Wilson, pointing at the practically full glass of bourbon his friend hadn’t drunk.

Wilson shook his head and opened the door, his friend’s denial taking its toll on the nice oncologist he was.

“I’m going to finish it then.” House said taking the drink in his hand.

“Sure…help yourself.” He yelled before slamming the door shut behind him.

Well Dave, can I have a cigarette?

Sure…Here, help yourself.

I don’t have a lighter.

You haven’t asked for one.

A sudden image hit him, one that had nothing with the ones he had been seeing for the past two days. A room filled with blinds, a man and a conversation he didn’t recall. However this image that had filled his brain brought him no aching in his head. House frowned and moved his weak and wasted self to the nearby laptop. He opened his web browser and started to look for something that wasn’t medically approved of or even, scientifically proven: Hypnosis on memory loss and as a means to manipulate the central nervous system.