The Wildest Dream and the Worst Nightmare

A Batman/Wonder Woman/Catwoman story by Icha

Rated T

Disclaimer: All major characters belong to the DC Comics, no infringement intended. Special thanks to Hepburn for the great beta! Set in the near future of my imaginary DC Universe, where Bruce Wayne had returned from MIA and reigned again as the Batman. Chapter 6. Diana has doubts, Bruce has headache.

Part 6. Doubts and Headache

Diana closed her eyes and parted her lips ever so slightly; letting his tongue entered and explored her mouth expertly. Tentatively, she kissed him back and sighed heavenly as she felt his tongue find another target: the curves of her neck. Cupping his head and caressing his thick hair, she arched her back as one of his muscular hands traced the small on her back, making her body tingle with pleasure.

It had been a while since their first and only kiss during the Obsidian Age, and Bruce Wayne still had that within him that made her Amazonian body shivered in delight and her woman’s soul scream for more. She pulled him towards her heated body and was about to whisper his name when the lasso attached on her hip started to twitch, delivering uncomfortable burning sensation to her skin. She considered disengaging her lasso, but then thought better of it.

Diana of Themyscira slowly opened her glazed eyes and found…

Not Bruce Wayne, but Tom Tresser looking at her, a bit confused.

“What’s wrong, Di?”

Telling her boyfriend that her lasso burned her because she imagined kissing another man while he was kissing her was certainly not a wise thing to do, even for Wonder Woman, former Goddess of Truth. And despite her discomfort in lying, lie she did.

“I just remembered that I need to finish this document before –” Diana cleared her throat. “…lunch time. So perhaps we have to cut the breakfast short.”

Tom’s baby blue eyes could not hide his disappointment. “Again, Madam Ambassador? I thought you said that there was no deadline this morning. That’s why we had the breakfast.”

Yes, except that we then kissed I thought of Bruce instead of you, screamed Diana guiltily to herself. But to Tom, she just delivered one of her best assuring smile and said, “Well, we know that I’m not perfect. I can forget things too…” For example, that it is you here with me instead of Bruce… But of course Diana did not say that either.

Tom raked his own hair and exhaled desperately. “You do realize that we only saw each other like…twice the last few days? Including this half breakfast?” He saw Diana guiltily glancing at the half eaten breakfast in front of them, but he ignored her. “I miss you Diana! But you haven’t called or talked or text… sometimes I felt that I’m being a single player here, instead of a couple!”

“I’m so very sorry Tom… but this case –”

“Is not finished yet, very important dadada…yadda yadda yadda…” Tom sighed and leaned forward, definitely unromantically. “Look, this Catwoman fiasco is working my nerves already, so can’t those magi people do something about it?!”

Diana twitched a little before saying, “Catwoman officially launches a protest; it’s not supposed to be called the ‘Catwoman fiasco’. And Zatanna and Dr. Fate are working on it as we speak.”

Tom didn’t budge an inch. “Well, I for one definitely wanna say this to Selina, so she better listen! She should’ve never stolen the necklace in the first place. She should have stayed in the East End, robbing Gotham Museum, the Mayor’s house or even Bruce Wayne’s if she needed to, but she should: STAY OUT OF NEW YORK!”

Two days ago, Diana would have agreed with Tom’s statements. But now, after what she saw last night about Helena, she perfectly understood what drove Selina to do what she had done. In her place, Diana would have too. No… Not in her place, I would never let go of my daughter in the first place, thought Diana sadly, and then frowned when she heard Catwoman yelling in her head.

“Yes, I know that is not fair for Tom to say that to you, Selina, so could you please lower your tone? My head hurts again and it doesn’t help the case.” And to Tom who was clearly felt abandoned, she added, “She has her reasons, Tom. It was not an ordinary robbery. There are extenuating circumstances”

Tom didn’t believe his ears. “So you approved of what she did?!”

“No. I believe there is another way. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t understand.” Diana got up and fixed her cotton dress before adding, “We might have to go to London soon.”

“For this…” Tom struggled to find an alternative for ‘fiasco’. “…Business?” When he saw Diana merely nodded and prepared to leave the Embassy’s kitchen table (meaning, she also wanted him to pack and go), he tentatively added, “I suppose I can’t come with you to London?”

It made Diana stopped in her place. “Thomas…it will be awkward…”

“Don’t call me that, Di, you make me feel like I am facing your mother.”

“Well, it doesn’t change the fact that it would make things uncomfortable…”

“With Catwoman in your head?” Tom folded his hands, clearly getting pissed off. “Can’t she just ignore whatever we’re talking about and go find Alice in Wonderland?”

“Sadly, it is not that simple.” Diana would never tell Tom that the complication was not only a Selina Kyle, but also a certain Bruce Wayne.

Tom sighed. “So I guess, I just have to think positively? That you’ll be mine again after you and Selina split off?” Unexpectedly, he chuckled to himself. “Geez…I sound like I am talking like you are divorcing Selina! Some of your online fans would be happy to read that gossip!”

Diana preferred not to stifle her laughter. Sometimes, Tom could be very funny indeed. He could make friendly conversations despite his harsh comments. She remembered why she liked him in the first place and laughed merrily. That alone brought out the sun and stars in Tom’s face. He smiled and held her, but then pondered why Diana didn’t hold him back.

“It’s Selina, isn’t it?” When Diana nodded, he added, “Well, you better go to London soon and finish whatever it is there. Come back alone and mine.” He leaned to kiss his girlfriend, a French kiss no less, took his jacket and left the room.

It was good that he didn’t look back. For he would have found Diana leaning at the edge of the kitchen table, gazing at the floor.

It was a very well exercised French kiss, but for Diana, it felt almost like nothing.

-xxx-

“You have to admit he’s a good kisser, Di.”

“Is that an attempt for insult, Catwoman? For I assure you I do not need it at this moment.”

Selina chuckled. “Are you nuts?! Why do I need to insult you? I merely make an observation. A purrrsonal in-depth observation, if I might add.” She purred the word ‘personal’, and she purred again even deeper for she knew Diana could hear it.

“I have no time for this.” Diana left the Embassy kitchen. The grandfather clock chimed eight times as she passed it to go upstairs.

“Yeah, deadlines, right? On what again, sorry?” When Diana didn’t reply, Selina sighed, almost leisurely. “He’s really a good kisser, Diana. Remember, I can feel whatever the sensations your body feels. And I feel good! Excited! You should really do that often with him! Or do you want some tips from the expert?”

Diana could almost see Selina licking her own claws inside her head, yet she suppressed the wish to kick that Feline Fatale in the butt (not that she could do that anyway). “After kissing Batman last night, I would expect you to stick to the Gothamites instead,” Diana was quick to retort, but she immediately regretted her quick tongue. “I mean… it’s my business with Tom. I would appreciate your not interfering with it, Selina.”

“Like you didn’t interfere with my business with Bruce last night?” It was true that after Diana averted the airplane disaster above the Gotham airport, she just flew back to the same rooftop she had left Batman earlier. She didn’t find the Dark Knight of course, nor did she attempt to contact him. Instead, she spun back and let Catwoman do her surveillance over toddler Helena until about 3:30a.m. Diana said no single word about Catwoman kissing Batman, not until now.

“I said nothing about you kissing Bruce.”

“That’s exactly the point!” Diana almost could feel Selina jumping in her head. “You said NOTHING! You, the WonderBoss who always has something to say; you didn’t say anything about me kissing the Batman! Your Justice League partner!”

“Your business. And I assume you’ve done that often anyway.” Diana maintained an elegant tone as she walked into her office, but Selina knew better.

“I know you wanna say something.”

“Of course. That I’m late with the deadline and I need to submit the Justice League report to UN by lunch time.” What a lie. The deadline is next week, the same hour. Two lies in a morning. You’re indeed an inspiration, Diana.

“You’re such a bad liar,” Selina purred happily.

“What is it that you want, Selina?” Diana opened her Mac ibook while sincerely praying to Athena that Darkseid or some other lunatic would just attack New York to stop Selina from talking about this particular…subject.

“I want your honesty, former Goddess of Truth,” Catwoman stated innocently. “I felt excited when Tom kissed you just now. Did you feel the same too?” When Diana said nothing, she decided to help. “Or just for clarification sake, did you feel excited the way you felt it when I kissed Bruce last night?”

Wonder Woman swore that she would have strangled Catwoman alive with her bare hands had that cat burglar appear in front of her instead of in her head. But that was not the case, so she pulled a ‘Batman’ on Catwoman. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“That’s Bruce’s line, so you can’t use it. Find your own words, Princess.” Selina purred again, clearly enjoying the game. “Or perhaps you want to know where I got the hints from?”

“If it pleases you,” Diana chose to ignore Selina. Instead, she tried to find the Justice League report file on her computer, which alas decided to hide itself from the agitated Madam Ambassador. She pressed the little apple symbol to find the bloody file and opened it immediately once she found it. She then gasped and attempted to close the file again, but it was too late. Catwoman’s very purr filled voice echoed again.

“Deadline next week, same hour. How verrrry honest of you, Madam.”

Admitting defeat, Diana shrugged. “So? Like you’re always honest yourself anyway.”

“Case in the point, Di. So, you wanna know the hints?”

“Pray tell,” Diana spoke in between her gritting teeth, her fingers furiously typed big buzzwords at the report.

“First. You had a maximum of minute in front of Batman last night after I spun, and I felt an instant leap just because of your heartbeat, also on the way to the airport to catch the plane. Just a minute or two, but your heart was drumming madly.”

“It was your own heart beat you felt, Madam, for your kissing the Batman.” Diana smiled in victory. “Next.”

“No way! I can’t feel my heartbeat when I’m inside your head, remember? I can feel what you feel instead. Hey, stop biting your own lips. It hurts!”

“Serves you right, spying on me!”

“I didn’t spy. I observed, actively,” Catwoman chuckled and resumed. “Oh, and I’ve flown with you several times when you were handling crisis Diana, but your heart didn’t drum like that. And when we returned to survey Helena, you spent at least three minutes lurking around to find Bruce before admitting that he wouldn’t appear again. Then this morning, you hardly slept. And you’re a sound sleeper; always.”

Diana massaged the back of her neck and sighed. “Your point being?”

It was a strange silence that followed that made Diana frown. Did Catwoman just leave her head or something? Then…

“My point is… that you also felt the excitement and sensations that I felt last night when Bruce and I kissed… and you were affected by it the way I was. Perhaps…even more.”

Did Selina’s voice change somehow? She wasn’t that excited anymore. She was even rather contemplative. Diana chose to say nothing while she filled in the UN report form. Praise Gaia for the multiple choices instead of essays, otherwise her fingers would have stopped writing now.

“I think you fancy Bruce.”

The UN question Diana was facing was ‘how many members does your organization currently have?’ and – being the current Justice League chairwoman – she knew the statistics by the heart. She smirked and replied with “Of course, he’s one of my best friends.” while her brain tried to catch the said statistics currently floating in her head.

Apparently, Catwoman wasn’t convinced. “What I meant was, do you love him?”

The JL statistics disappeared like a puff of smoke. Gorgon's spit!

-xxx-

Even in the daylight, the abandoned castle looked spooky enough to approach, let alone to enter. Zatanna said a series of Rhune curses when she tried to open the massive door to no avail. She hated being in this place, and always wondered how Jason Blood still preferred to live in the medieval castle of New England rather than staying in Star City, Keystone City, New York or Metropolis. Or even Gotham. Surely the very many spooky buildings in Gotham would satisfy his thirst for Gothic architecture.

The Mistress of Magic sighed. “Occam’s Razor. The simplest answer usually works the best.” She inhaled, said “Rood nepo!” and once again her shoulders slumped for the impertinent door did not oblige.

“Perhaps it was not the simplest razor to use,” said a dark, rich voice behind her. Zatanna smirked.

“Glad to see that you finally decided to join, B.” She turned to see the Batman suddenly materialized behind her. “What kept you?”

“Meetings. Couldn’t escape.”

“Really?!” Zee quirked her eyebrows. “Isn’t Batman the Greatest Escape Artist?”

“Yes, Batman. Not Bruce Wayne and not while we have major board restructuring.” Batman moved to the door. “Now step aside. Time for a Muggle to try.”

“With what, O Mighty Detective?”

Behind his cowl, Bruce’s eyes glittered with humor for a split second. “With a key.” He extracted a pin from his utility belt and worked the door for a few seconds. He then tried to open it. It didn’t work. Ignoring Zatanna’s satisfactory smile, he frowned and tried again but with a kick this time. The door opened with a loud crack, revealing a very Gothic atmosphere inside. Batman smirked back to Zatanna who just rolled her eyes.

“Wow! Our friend sure doesn’t have extra security here,” whispered Zee as she gingerly stepped in. “Spooky, even for me.”

“Jason is a magi. He depends on magic to keep people away from his premise. Your magic has actually disarmed his security so to speak, so what I had to do was just to open it.”

Zatanna snorted. “Key. Got it. Next time, I’ll bring my magic utility belt, too, or maybe I’ll just pull something out of my hat?” She followed the Bat upstairs. “Where is J?”

“I thought the very reason we’re here is because you haven’t been able to contact him?” Batman entered the library. “Since he’s the one claiming the responsibility to safeguard Morgaine, one would wonder if he’s still alright…”

“Yeah… Morgaine can be very nasty...” Zee shuddered as she remembered the last time Morgaine le Fay teamed up with Despero and Kanjar-Ro to mould the world as they liked. Her eyes squinted as she tried to find something inside the poorly lit library. “Where’s that shabby stone? He should have it around here somewhere?”

“You mean this one?” Batman lifted a heavy stone carved into the form of a face and showed it to Zatanna. “This was where Morgaine was. Imprisoned. Now…” His index finger was tracing the crude carvings of the stone when he suddenly asked again, “You said he hasn’t replied to your calls?”

Zatanna nodded. “Telepathic and regular calls. Wait! Are you saying you think that he –”

“Could be trapped inside the stone instead? Do you remember the incantations used to imprison Morgaine?” When Zee nodded again, he added, “Can you reverse it to let whomever it is in there now out here? I bet we will find Jason Blood.”

Batman placed the stone onto Zatanna’s hand, who then cast a very complicated Rhune and Celtic spells with her wand. Soon, the stone shone from within, as if an imprisoned ray of light tried to get out. It shook terribly and finally exploded in a blinding light, revealing a very exhausted and angry Jason Blood.

“By Merlin’s beard, where’s that Witch! Where’s Morgaine!” was the first thing the medieval Englishman said. His eyes glowed red and his body trembled exceedingly.

“Whoa! Jason! Wait, pal! Calm down!” Zee tried to calm him. But apparently, the host of Demon Etrigan was too angry. Jason even started to chant the spell to let out Etrigan. In a split second decision, Batman did what he had to do.

He punched Jason Blood, hard on the jaw. Jason tumbled down the floor, but was still conscious enough to exclaim a loud ‘Ouch!’ and a curse. The Englishman eventually regained his bearings. He pushed himself up and sat on a chair, carefully touching his jaw that was introduced to Batman’s fist. He looked up and, for the first time since he was freed, calmly spoke.

“Apparently, the incantation wasn’t strong enough.”

“Most evidently,” Batman agreed. “But it took a few years for Morgaine to unlock it, so it was a good try. Plus, she wasn’t teaming up with A-class bad guys now, so I hope we can re-imprison her soon.”

Not missing Batman’s hints by a heart beat, Jason quirked. “Oh? So Morgaine is up to something now?”

Zee nodded this time. “And apparently, she’s heading back to Ye-Old-England…and not for a good reason.” In five minutes, she explained the nutshell story of the necklace, and by the end of her story, Jason was already sitting tall and alert.

“By the Lady of the Lake! So now the witch is going to combine the magic of Koh-i-noor and the Desert Rose? Where is the Rose now?”

“Fate locked it inside another dimension,” Zatanna replied. “He is the only one who knows how to access it, other than myself.”

Jason snorted. “Still, that does not bode well at all.”

“Well, we agree. That’s why Batman and I are going to London to stop her.” Zee paused before adding, “– with Wonder Woman and Catwoman.”

Jason looked up. “You said that Morgaine’s spell clashed with the Desert Rose and made Wonder Woman switched body with Catwoman?”

“More like they share the same body now,” explained Batman. “It’s complicated, and I am the first person who wants to see them freed from this magic. So if you know anything, just anything…”

Jason rose and approached a book shelf to retrieve an antique box. He cast a spell onto the box, which later opened up to reveal some very old parchments inside. Jason took one of them. “Zatanna. You read ancient Rhunes, don’t you?” He gave the parchment to Zee who immediately devoured it enthusiastically. “There are 2 or 3 incantations there that might help. But the tricky thing is that the said persons involved must also make their own affirmations that will deconstruct the events or conditions that first made them trapped.”

That didn’t escape the Batman. “Wait. You said that they caused this thing to happen to them?”

“Not directly, no. But I know the nature of Morgaine’s fatal spells, and if one of those spells interacted with the energy of the Desert Rose…well, that is not a wonder that a shared body happened as the result. Both women apparently need to face whatever they’ve been avoiding to face.”

Even Zatanna was getting confused now. “Look Jason, I’m a magi here, and even I am a tad confused. Can you tell us a bit clearer? In plain English?”

“What’s the property of rubies in general?” Instead of replying, Jason asked another question.

Zatanna frowned, but she still ticked her fingers one by one. “Source of life energy. That’s why it is a powerful stone. Vitality…uhm…success, that’s why Morgaine tried to steal it… Err… Relationships?”

Jason Blood smirked. “Morgaine’s spells are disintegrative at the very least. When it mixed with the energy of a stone that carries the relationship energy, it might affect those whose relationships are currently in question, or in need of clarifications. Now I don’t know why Catwoman and Wonder Woman have to share body now; it could be just random events?”

“But there’s no random event, Jason,” Zatanna refuted. “Not in our magical world.”

“Exactly. I gather that both women are currently having relationship problems, and the only way to counteract the spell is for them to find their own resolutions. Their own affirmations. And say them aloud the same time you say the Rhune incantation. Remember, it has to be the right affirmation. Otherwise, it will not work.”

Zatanna sighed. “Okay then. You’re coming to London with us, no? We have work to do tonight, and Dr. Fate is busy with the Society.” She meant the Justice Society of America.

“Not yet. I will still have to fortify the prison for Morgaine. Clearly, the old one wasn’t strong enough.” Jason took the stone from the table and looked back at his friends. “I will regroup with you before sun rises over the Thames tomorrow.”

That sounded good for the Batman. “Bring anything you need to bring for Morgaine. We will keep the jewels out of her reach. Zatanna, you will inform Wonder Woman and Catwoman about our plan in London. Depart as soon as you can. Accommodation on me.”

“Wait! I thought that you would inform them yourself. I don’t really know about the charity and event tonight!”

“Just tell them that I will meet you all at the hotel at 7pm.” The Dark Knight strode out of the room.

“Oh yeah?” Zee was clearly a bit pissed off. “What, another board meeting? Joker escaped again?!”

“No.” Batman’s voice clearly echoed in the hall. “I have headache.”

-xxx-

Author’s note:

I don’t know where Jason Blood lives now, but I assume he’s in the US too. Being equipped with historical buildings and castles, New England sounds like the best place for the Demon Etrigan to dwell.

See you in London!