LA Song

“The orbital laser is activated by some kind of trigger, Kim.” Wade said through the Kimmunicator monitor. His brow was furrowed and he typed frantically at his keyboard. “You’ve got a half hour before it’s in position over Los Angeles.”

“Then it’s time to find Drakken.” Kim concluded. “Got a lock?”

Wade spun in his chair to concentrate on another monitor for a moment. “You bet. He’s... in a karaoke bar?”

---

Dr. Drakken plucked at the strings of a guitar as he sat at a table, only half paying attention to the current artist on the stage, who was singing a rendition of Lean on Me in a voice that was inappropriately high. Shego sighed, slumping in her chair and hiding her face behind a black and green glove. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into coming here ag– what are you doing?” she asked, looking back at the blue skinned super villain. “You are not going to actually try to play that thing, are you?”

“Of course I am, Shego!” Drakken retorted, taking his attention off of the musical instrument for a moment. “Eddie’s been teaching me some chords...”

“Eddie?” Shego asked, confused. “You mean your cousin, Motor Ed?” she winced. “No, I am not going to sit here while you make a fool of yourself with me at your table. Give it to me.”

Drakken pulled the guitar out of Shego’s reach before she could set her glowing hands on it. “No! I’ve been practicing.”

“Fine.” Shego said, standing. “But I am not...”

“Our next contributor tonight is a familiar face, who claims to have some new skills that he’d like to share with us.” came a voice from the host as he climbed up on stage. A light poured over Dr. Drakken and Shego had to cover her eyes. With a growl, she fired a burst of plasma into the offending machine, snuffing out the illumination. “Just as a note, we’ll be charging for any damages to the premises...”

Before Shego could retort, Drakken had stood and began walking toward the stage with a confident smile on his face. Another light was switched on, bathing Drakken in a glow as he climbed the step onto the stage, and hefted himself up on a stool, cradling the guitar in his lap. He adjusted his seating again, plucked at the strings a few more times and retuned the instrument before starting. He strummed once, then patted the box of the guitar open handed before strumming rhythmically at the strings.

“Pretty girl on every corner

Sunshine turns the sky to gold

Warm, warm it's always warm here

And I can’t take the cold.”

Shego hesitantly peeked through her fingers at Dr. Drakken, who was singing with his eyes partly closed in a confident, smooth voice. “He’s actually good?” she whispered to herself, only to be shushed by Frugal Lucre at the next table.

“Streets littered with diamonds

Everyone’s glistening

This whole world shines so brightly

And I can’t see a thing”

Drakken increased his rate of strumming and his voice raised a few decibels before glancing at Shego a moment.

“She's pretty as a picture

She is like a golden ring

Settles me with love and laughter

And I can’t feel a thing.”

Shego tilted her head slightly as she stared at Drakken, trying to read his expression. But he her quickly and turned away, grinning at the rest of the crowd who were wearing growing, entertained smiles of their own.

“The sky’s gonna open

People gonna pray and crawl

It’s gonna rain down fire

It’s gonna burn us all

The skies gonna open

People gonna pray and sing

I can’t feel a thing.”

Drakken began to quiet his strumming slightly as he watched his fingers move at the neck of the guitar, and seemed to be getting ready to quicken again as the door to the Karaoke bar burst open. “The gig is up, Drakken!” Kim Possible shouted, and all eyes turned on her and Ron as the light from outside flooded in.

At first, people shielded their eyes against the sun pouring through the door. Shego was instantly on her feet with glowing gloves at the ready, a wicked smirk playing on her lips. “You’re about to leave the building, Kimmie!” Shego stated.

Then someone in the crowd spoke up, catching both Kim and Shego by surprise. “Hey! He’s trying to play!”

“Yeah! Let him finish the song!” came another voice. Kim frowned slightly, her martial arts stance relaxing slightly.

“Huh?” she asked. Here she was trying to stop an orbital laser from vaporizing a major American city, and these people were complaining that she was interrupting Drakken’s karaoke? “What’s going on here?”

“He’s actually good.” Shego stated, surprising herself as much as Kim for saying the words. “I guess he just needed some guitar mojo.”

“Continue on, Dr. D!” cried the host, bringing forth a wave of cheers.

Drakken cleared his throat, letting his confusion and nervousness subside. “Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted?” he asked himself, glaring at Kim and Ron. He caught up to his place in the notes of the song, quieting the music slightly before building up again.

“She's pretty as a picture

She is like a golden ring

Settles me with love and laughter

And I can’t feel a thing

The sky’s gonna open

People going pray and crawl

It’s gonna rain down fire

It’s gonna burn us all”

Kim watched in irritation as the crowd fell into silent admiration of her arch foe, and even Ron and Rufus were swaying to the music. She growled, taking her Kimmunicator from her pocket. “Anything Wade?” she whispered.

“You apprehend Drakken, yet?” the boy genius asked.

“We’re waiting for him to finish his song.” Kim replied dryly.

“Kim, it looks like the trigger to activating the laser is a combination of sounds. I’m using a synthesizer to analyze all the possibilities, but it’s going to take time. They could be anything!” Wade exclaimed.

Kim looked at up Drakken in shock, then back down at Wade. “Like from a musical instrument?!”

“Yeah, I guess...” Wade said, and Kim cut him off, stuffing the Kimmunicator back in her pocket as Drakken began his crescendo.

“The sky’s gonna open

People gonna prey and sing

I can’t feel a thing”

In the dim light of the bar, Kim rushed at the stage, hoping she wasn’t too late. She performed a flip onto the table that Shego was sitting at before launching herself at Drakken, who strummed one last time on his guitar with an evil grin that flashed his bristling white teeth.

“I can’t feel...”

---

“Well that was close.” Ron said with a smile as he and Kim watched Drakken and Shego get hauled away in a Police van.

“Yeah, I guess.” Kim replied, still suspicious. Her arms were crossed and she was glaring at Drakken through the rear barred windows of the vehicle. “Something I just don’t get, though.”

“What’s that, KP?”

“Drakken had every chance to just strum the notes that would set off the laser. Why didn’t he just do it as soon as he spotted us?” she asked herself more than Ron.

Ron shrugged indifferently. “Who cares?” he said dismissively. “Let’s hit Buenos Nachos! The smell of all those chips in that place has got me starving!”

“Hm? Oh, sure, Ron.” Kim said. There was still something gnawing at her, as to why Drakken waited. “Maybe Wade was wrong? Maybe it wasn’t a musical trigger?”

“Meh.” Ron said, leading the way to the nearest mexican restaurant. “Wade’s never wrong.”

“You’re right...” Kim replied. Suddenly, her arms went wide. “Wade!” In a panic, Kim reached for her Kimmunicator.

Beep Beep Beep-Beep.

---

Lyrics and performance by Christian Kane