AN: My entry for the SweetestIrony March Contest Intoxicating

Shocking Truths

Gohan Son was going through boxes in one of the storage rooms looking for something that he could use for one of his University assignments. Opening one of the boxes he saw an old book. Curiosity overtook the young saiyan and he opened up the book seeing handwriting in the book, instantly realising that it was Bulma’s diary. He was going to put it aside because he knew that people’s diaries where private and shouldn’t be read by other people. He was about to close the book when a line in the diary stood out “I’m pregnant and don’t know if Yamcha or Goku is the father.” Gohan’s jaw dropped and had to read the whole thing.

Dear Diary,

It’s awful, I don’t know what I am going to do. I took three tests and they all came up with the same result. I’m pregnant and don’t know if Yamcha or Goku is the father. I have been with Yamcha since I was in high school; he was meant to be the one that I marry and have my kids with. Recently he has been so jealous of Vegeta and thinks that I am cheating on him with that alien who is always breaking the Gravity Machine and then demanding that I fix it. Honestly I can’t stand that man. The thing with Goku wasn’t meant to happen. I don’t think that he even remembesr it. We started talking about old times and old friends over a few drinks and both ended up blind drunk. I woke up the next morning lying naked next to Goku on the couch. I went back to bed and came out a couple of hours later and Goku was gone. I don’t think that he remembers; I hope that he doesn’t remember. ChiChi is going to kill me if she ever finds out that I am pregnant and Goku is possibly the father. It’s going to be obvious if the baby is born with a tail like Goku had when he was a child, and what Gohan inherited from Goku. Gohan is going to hate me as well; I love that kid and can’t stand that though. He looks so much like Goku except smarter. Don’t get me wrong, Goku is smart but most people don’t see it through his naivety. I really hope that the baby is Yamcha’s.

Bulma

Gohan looked at the page in shock and really hoped that his father didn’t remember what happened. He also knew that this had to be about Trunks and turned to the next page in the diary hoping that it wasn’t true.

Dear Diary,

I feel like I am a total slut. I slept with Vegeta and have no idea why I even did it. I just hope that he didn’t realise that I am already pregnant because if the baby is born a saiyan I can at least tell people that he is the father and no one especially ChiChi will ever have to know that I was with Goku.

Bulma

Gohan skimmed over the next few chapters finding the chapter that he was after.

Dear Diary,

I was so relieved when Trunks was handed to me and he didn’t have a tail, but I went and got a paternity test done any. I just want the results back now so that I am 100% sure. Yamcha is really anxious to know if he is really Trunk’s father as well. He keeps looking at Trunks and looking at Vegeta trying and then looking at himself in the mirror.

Bulma

Dear Diary

I got the results for the paternity test back and Goku is the father. I told Yamcha that Vegeta was Trunks’s father after I got the results back. He wasn’t happy about it and I don’t think that he will ever come back to me. He’s convinced that I am in love with Vegeta. I have no idea what I am going to do. Trunks cries whenever Vegeta comes near him; I think that he knows that Vegeta isn’t his real father.

Bulma

A page fell out of the diary; Gohan sat and looked at the results of the paternity test.

Gohan sat looking at the book in disbelief, trying to stop the tears running down his face.

“Gohan, did you find what you where looking for?” Bulma asked coming in checking on the young saiyan. “Are you alright?” she asked concerned when she saw the tears streaming down his face, she then paled when she saw what he was holding.

“I didn’t mean to read it” Gohan said in a quiet voice “I was going to put it back when I realised that it was your diary. Is it true Bulma? Is my dad also Trunk’s father?”

“Yes” Bulma said so quietly and watched wondering what the saiyan would do next.

“Does my dad know?” Gohan asked having already read that his father didn’t know.

“I don’t think so; Vegeta doesn’t either.” Bulma said hoping that the saiyan prince wasn’t around. She knew that he would properly kill her if he ever found out.

“What are you going to do now?” Bulma asked hoping that he wouldn’t tell anyone.

“I need fresh air” Gohan said, leaving the storage room and jumping out of the closest window he could find.

A few hours later the Son boy was sitting in a bar with a heap of empty glasses in front of him.

“Another” Gohan slurred to the bar keeper.

“I think that you’ve had enough” the bar keeper said.

“But I haven’t forgotten yet, I need to forget and then everything will be ok” Gohan slurred again.

Entering the bar was the blonds that he went to high school with, Sharpener and Erasa, as well as some of their friends that they had made at collage.

“Hey Sharpener, isn’t that Gohan? I haven’t seen him since high school” Erasa said, who had longer hair then when she went to school.

“You know Gohan Son?” one of the girls asked that was practically drooling over him.

“I went to school with him” Erasa answered. “How do you know who his is?”

“Babe everyone knows his name. He’s dating Videl” Sharpener answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“But most people know about him is his name; not many people actually know his face” the girl said.

“I’m going to see if he’s ok” Sharpener said walking towards his friend.

“I’m coming with you Sharpie. Hey guys we’ll catch up later” Erasa said and waved goodbye to her collage friends.

“Hey nerd boy” Sharpener said “How are you?”

“Hi Sharpener” Gohan said still with a slur to his voice and recognising his friend. “And I was ok until a few hours ago and will be ok once I forget.”

“Forget what?” Erasa asked standing on the other side of Gohan.

“I read a friends diary and found out some disturbing news” Gohan answered sounding depressed.

“Was it Videls diary? Because I read that once and she almost killed me” Erasa answered wishing that she could forget that day.

“It wasn’t Videls diary, it was a friend of the family” Gohan answered.

“What did you read that upset you so much that you want to forget?” Erasa asked “It must have been something pretty awful if you want to forget it.”

“I’d rather not talk about it” Gohan said slipping for his chair.

“Man, you must be intoxicated” Sharpener said, surprised by the lack of reaction from his friend to stop falling.

“Gohan, is there someone that we can call to pick you up?” Erasa asked with concern. “Or somewhere where we can take you, back home maybe?”

“I still live with my parents, I don’t want my mum to see me like this, she would kill me” Gohan said to his friends scared at what his mother would do to him if she saw him like that, but he also wasn’t ready to face his father again after what he had read that day.

“You’re still dating Videl right?” Erasa asked.

“Yes” Gohan answered blushing at the thought of his girlfriend “But I don’t want her to see me like this either.”

“Who would you rather see you like this, your girlfriend or your mother?” Sharpener asked.

Gohan sat thinking about it “Well I guess that my mother is the more deadly out of the two. So I guess Videl.”

Sharpener remembered how scary Videl could be and was wondering what Gohan’s mother was like if he thought that she was more deadly.

“I can’t hear anything when I try and call Vivi, can we go outside?” Erasa asked.

Sharpener helped Gohan stand up and watched as his old friend staggered outside of the building.

“I don’t fell to good” Gohan said wishing that he hadn’t decided to drink his discovery away.

“Videl, its Erasa” the blond said into her phone.

“Erasa, I haven’t heard from you in ages. How are you?” Videl asked her friend actually surprised that she was hearing from her.

“I’m good, but Gohan’s not” Erasa said and then explained to Videl about Sharpener and herself going to the bar and finding Gohan depressed and drunk.

“I didn’t know that Gohan drank” Videl said surprised at what her old friend was telling her. “Is he ok? I am so going to kill him when I get my hands on him.”

“Where are you at the moment?” Erasa asked.

“I am at a stupid function that my father is hosting.” Videl said, wishing that she could leave.

“Sorry to interrupt your dad’s function” Erasa said wondering who else she could ring to get Gohan if Videl was busy. She didn’t know anyone else that Gohan knew.

“That’s ok, I have been after an excuse to leave all night” Videl said not sure to be happy of upset at the state that Gohan was in. “I’m going to leave this place and I don’t really want to head back home with Gohan because dad would kill me and then tell ChiChi; that’s Gohan’s mum; and I don’t even want to think about what she would do” slight fear being heard in Videls voice.

“How about we drive Gohan to where Sharpener and I are living and you meet us there” Erasa suggested, giving her friend the address.

Videl agreed, she ended her phone call and went to find her father.

“Daddy, I am going to have to leave now” Videl said to her father. “Erasa called and said that there was an emergency that I had to help her with. I am going to be staying at her place tonight.”

“Your friend from school that used to be over nearly every weekend?” her father asked. “I haven’t seen her around for ages. You go and have a good night sweet heart” Hercules said as to his daughter, glad that she could have a somewhat normal life even though she was his daughter.

Sharpener had gone in to tell their friends that they were leaving.

“That guy is an asshole” his friend named Alvan said who was quiet the Videl fan.

“Come and have some fun Sharpener, ditch that guy. What has he ever done for you except for steal your girl?” one of the girls said getting a little too close for his comfort. Once Sharpener would have enjoyed that kind of attention from a girl, but these days the only girl that he ever thought about was Erasa.

“Gohan isn’t like that” Sharpener defended “You don’t even know they guy.”

“From what we saw he is a no good drunk” one of his other friends said.

“Just shut up about my friend will ya?!, He’s a way better person then any of you!” Erasa yelled who had come in to see why Sharpener was taking so long.

“Come on babe, where leaving” Sharpener said grabbing Erasa’s hand and leading her out of the bar. “Where’s Gohan?”

“Waiting in the back of the car” Erasa answered as they walked back to the car.

Sharpener saw Gohan looking quiet pale lying on the back seat of the car. “I have never seen nerd boy like this. The whole time we were at high school he refused to even touch alcohol.”

“Hopefully Videl will be able to get out of him what’s wrong” Erasa said hoping into the passenger seat.

Erasa and Sharpener arrived at their apartment with Gohan to find Videl was already standing outside.

“You still don’t dress up for your father’s functions” Erasa teased, seeing her friend wearing her pink t-shirt with the white shirt over the top of it and black pants.

“I told my father I will never dress up for those functions and I am sticking to that” Videl answered. “So what is wrong with my boyfriend that you had to call me in the first place?” she asked watching Sharpener struggling to help him stand.

“He’s totally drunk, and said that he was drinking to forget something that he read in a diary that wasn’t yours” Erasa answered.

“Whose diary did you read?” Videl asked once Gohan was seated in Erasa’s apartment.

“It was Bulma’s” Gohan said nervously.

“Was there something in Bulma’s diary?” Videl asked Gohan softly, wondering why he was reading her diary in the first place.

“Vegeta isn’t Trunk’s father” Gohan said watching for his girlfriend’s reaction.

Videl stood with her moth opened putting a few facts together in her head knowing for a fact that Trunks was a saiyan and that there was only one other full blooded saiyan left that could possibly be his father. “Does his real father know?”

“Bulma said that he doesn’t know and that no one else knew before tonight; Vegeta doesn’t even know” Gohan answered.

“Are you going to tell your parent’s what you found out” Videl asked wonder what her boyfriend was going to do.

“I don’t think that I would be able to do that” Gohan said thinking more of his mother then his father.

“Wait when you said Bulma, did you mean Bulma Briefs?” Erasa asked.

“That’s who he meant” Videl said with a sigh.

“Videl, babe you know the Bulma Briefs, I guess the rich and famous really do stick together” Sharpener said wondering who else Videl knew.

“I actually only know Bulma through Gohan” Videl said shocking her friends.

“How do you know Bulma?” Erasa asked wishing that she could meet the scientist.

“My dad has been friends with Bulma since he was a child” Gohan said with more venom in his voice then he intended. Knowing that his father was also Trunk’s father wasn’t helping and his pounding headache was starting to get to him.

Sharpener and Erasa both stood back shocked to hear that tone coming from sweet innocent Gohan. Videl was even slightly shocked at what had just happened though she realised that the true father of Trunks was Goku.

“Guy’s, you can’t tell anyone what Gohan said about Bulma’s husband not being her son’s father” Videl said to her two friends.

Gohan had fallen asleep on the lounge chair and looked more peaceful now that he was asleep.

“Who do you think is Trunk’s real father?” Erasa asked “Because the media would have a field day if that ever came out. I mean it was a big field day when it was revealed that her long time boyfriend wasn’t the father.”

“Babe, isn’t it obvious? Gohan’s father is properly Trunk’s father as well, that is why he has to be so upset by the new” Sharpener said which surprised Videl that he was able to work it out. “I was so upset when she said that Yamcha wasn’t the father, he was my hero; he still is.”

“Why do you think that she would have said that this Vegeta guy was the father then?” Erasa asked confused on why she didn’t keep on saying that Yamcha was his father.

“Goku, Gohan’s father has this gene that means that his offspring are born with a tail. Vegeta has the same gene, so that would have been an obvious thing when Trunks was born” Videl said knowing that she couldn’t tell her friends that Goku and Vegeta where both aliens.

It was the next morning and Gohan woke up in a strange place with Videl lying next to him. He started searching though his foggy memories of the night before, trying to work out what had happened. He remembered going over to Bulma’s needing something for his assignments and finding her diary and finding out that he had a half brother and then going to a pub to attempt to drink away that memory and then nothing after that.

Videl woke up after she felt Gohan move.

“Gohan are you ok?” Videl asked.

“I have a headache and can’t remember anything after I walked into the pub last night” Gohan answered, confused as to why he was with his girlfriend.

“So you don’t remember how we got here or what you told me?” Videl asked.

Gohan shook his head no and waited for his girlfriend to explain what had happened.

“So this is Erasa and Sharpener’s place. I haven’t seen them since high school, what are the chances that they would be the ones to find me last night” Gohan said with a nervous laugh. “So Sharpener and Erasa know that Trunks is my half brother as well” Gohan stated.

“Yeah, they both promised that they wouldn’t tell anyone” Videl said to her boyfriend.

“So nothing else happened?” Gohan asked wondering why Videl was sleeping next to him.

“Besides me watching you sleep all night to make sure that you didn’t die of alcohol poisoning” Videl said to her boyfriend.

“I don’t think that is possible” Gohan said “I think that I should be ok once I have had something to eat.”

“Is food the only thing that you think of” Videl said as she leant in closer to her boyfriend.

“Most of the time” Gohan said realising that all he had to do last night was eat a big meal to forget rather than drinking.

Gohan and Videl turned as they heard the door to a bedroom open.

“I’m sorry if we woke you” Videl said as the two blonds walked into the room.

“You didn’t wake us” Sharpener said walking over.

“Sharpener, you have short hair, and Erasa yours is longer than it used to be” Gohan said looking at the two blonds.

“You look the same as when you finished school” Erasa said rubbing sleep out of her eyes. “Except that you are wearing purple.”

The four friends where sitting in the kitchen eating there breakfast when Videl’s phone rang.

“Videl have you seen Gohan” a worried voice said on the other end of the phone not even giving Videl a chance to say hello.

“Hi ChiChi” Videl said wondering what she should say next.

Erasa sat and watched in fascination at Videl actually being cautious about someone. Gohan snatched the phone off of Videl when it was obvious that she wasn’t going to say anything further.

“Hi mum” Gohan said to his mother.

“Where have you been all night, I was worried sick when Goten came down for breakfast this morning and said that you hadn’t been home.” ChiChi said and then realised that she had called Videl’s number and had been talking to her son’s girlfriend the moment before. “What were you and Videl doing last night? Can I expect grandchildren any time soon?”

“No nothing like that” Gohan kind of chocked and blushed at what his mother suggested. “We meet up with Erasa and Sharpener who we went to school with and we lost track of the time and Erasa offered for us to stay there last night and like I said nothing happened.”

“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” ChiChi asked her son.

“I think that I left my phone at Bulma’s when I was there yesterday looking for some stuff for my assignment.” Gohan explained to his mother. Gohan sighed not really wanting to see Bulma again but knew that he had to go back and get his phone and that he might as well talk to Bulma properly before he left.

Gohan finished his conversation and gave the phone back to his girlfriend. “You are getting better at lying” Videl stated.

“I have always been able to tell the little white lies to my mum” Gohan said “That way she doesn’t worry about me as much; besides I don’t want her to kill me because she would if I said that I don’t remember what happened last night.”

Videl didn’t think that ChiChi would ever be able to kill Gohan but she understood why he was cautious of his mother.

Around lunchtime Gohan and Videl headed over to Capsule Corp. Gohan walked with Videl nervous of what he was going to say to Bulma.

“Gohan” Trunks came running down the halls and tackled the older saiyan.

“Hey Trunks” Gohan said at the younger boy, seeing for the first times the resemblance that he had to his father. He couldn’t help smiling at the young boy. What Bulma and his father had done all those years ago was wrong, but it wasn’t Trunk’s fault and he wasn’t aware that Vegeta wasn’t his father and Gohan wasn’t going to be the one that ruined that for him.

“Gohan, I wasn’t expecting to see you here today” Bulma said seeing Gohan with Videl.

“I left my phone here yesterday and still haven’t found what I need for my assignment” Gohan said to Bulma, surprised how much seeing Trunks had taken away the pain and anger that Gohan felt towards her.

“Trunks, why don’t you go play for a bit” Bulma said to her son.

“I am sure that Goten would like someone to play with since I’m not at home today” Gohan said to the younger boy.

“Can I mum?” Trunks asked excited at the thought of playing with his best friend.

Bulma nodded and watched her excited son run off.

“I told Videl what I found out yesterday” Gohan said walking behind the scientist.

“I think that you would have told the whole world if Sharpener and Erasa hadn’t found you yesterday and called me” Videl said following her boyfriend and Bulma down the hall.

Videl explained to Bulma what had happened to Gohan the day before after he had left Capsule Corp. “Erasa and Sharpener promised that they wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“Are you sure that they will keep that promise?” Bulma asked wishing that this secret didn’t have to be revealed.

“I made sure of that” Videl said cracking her knuckles.

“Bulma, I won’t tell anyone else. It would kill my mum and Vegeta too much.” Gohan said to the scientist. “I think that my dad would be too confused to be able to comprehend what had happened properly and I don’t think that Goten and Trunks would be able to cope with the chance from friends to half brothers.”

“Thanks Gohan, I wish things could have been different. I wish that Yamcha was his father” Bulma said to Gohan constantly surprised at how he would react to different situations.

“Do you still love Yamcha?” Gohan asked.

“I never stopped loving him, he was the love of my life and still is” Bulma said thinking back to the man that she had dated for years. “Goku was always like a little brother to me and Vegeta was a replacement because I couldn’t have Yamcha anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I do love Vegeta, I grew to love him over the years but it wasn’t the same. Kid, word of advice, never drink again. You don’t want to ever end up in a situation like that.”

Gohan nodded to the scientist, he still had a headache from the alcohol that he consumed the night before and didn’t ever want to go through that ever again.

It was many years later and Gohan had never forgotten what he found out during his university days.
“I’m home” Gohan called out as he walked through the door.

“If you really want to know why you shouldn’t date Trunks you should talk to your father” Gohan heard his wife saying to their 20 year old daughter.

“But mum, I don’t get it you and dad both like Trunks” Pan complained.

“What’s this about Trunks?” Gohan said, putting his work things on the kitchen table.

“Daddy, you like Trunks, don’t you?” Pan asked.

“Sure, he’s like a little brother to me” Gohan answered his daughter, who didn’t understand the true meaning of her father’s words.

“Mum doesn’t think that it is a good idea for me to date him” Pan complained hoping to get her father’s sympathy.

“I don’t think that it is a good idea either Pan” Gohan said, trying to find words to explain to his daughter without revealing too much.

“Why not?” Pan complained.

“He’s older then you by quite a few years; he’s your uncle’s best friend’ and I think that it would be weird having my daughter dating someone that I consider my brother” Gohan answered carefully. “I don’t think that Bulma would want Trunks dating you either.”

Just at that moment Bulma walked in with an angry Trunks “I told him” she said.

“You mean that he knew” Trunks yelled out angry with his mother. “Who else knows?”

“Only Videl and two friends of ours from high school and that is it” Gohan answered.

“Know what?” Pan asked confused at why they man that she wanted to be her boyfriend was so angry about and was extremely confused at the disgusted look on his face when he looked at her.