Alone

Chapter 1: Dying Health…

I would peek my head from behind the crack of the door, both hearing my parents yelling out about endless things about me… I could tell pretty much lately over the years they only grew hatred at each other.

Being only about 4 years old, its so amazing for me to understand the main reasons why all the arguing even began.. I remember clear as the bright blue sky back when I was even small I had such happier times with my parents.. But things changed since then.. My blue eyes full of sorrow, I hated seeing the pain I had to bare..

“You seriously think you can understand this anymore?! Misuzu’s health has been weaker lately… why won’t you let her have the right treatment!” my mother would cry to father, she was on the verge of breaking into tears.

“Because! This is something no one knows what it is… sooner or later you will need to realise I have to make the choice where it can be better for her!” he hammered his fists on the table.

I bit my lip backing away from the door and my back met in contact with the wall behind me. I fell onto my knees shivering, I had no idea how sick I was… I was sick of the feeling why people, look at me and see only a freak.

People don’t really understand, on my side of the story how alone it can be when.. No one seems to think you even exist, my parents were discussing something they weren't even going to bother mentioning to me..

At first I thought it was a small simple argument I knew they would surely get over, but later as the winter days went on.. The coldness curse of it made my mother terribly sick. I prayed most night’s that God would please let her be ok.. I didn’t want to be alone…

I don’t… want to be alone… no more...

Father was worried, even through the hatred he was showing towards my mother.. Cause of the effect it might have on me, while I listened to them both shouting as I saw their faces. Endless silent tears poured down from my eyelids…

I felt like giving up on most things now, I could tell the same would happen to me as I got weaker, I wouldn’t improve… I can’t really explain what this illness is, cause it was highly unusual for anyone to show any thought of caring since I was a cry baby…

Ever since I had no friends, I got this illness just like mother did.. I grew to believe it made people walk away from me. I would pretend to smile, and show it didn't matter.. but when I was left alone... I would scream and shout my pain, smash everything I saw... just to make it go away...

But it would never go away... no one wanted to be my friend...

I hate.. Being alone..

But everyone at school, always turned their back’s on me.. They know I am the freak who lives at the Kamio house, my parents would fight over what was best for me..

“You know what Keisuke! I’ve had enough of what you say… I know its too late for me.. But I can’t stand back, and let Misuzu die the same..” my mother sobbed, pressing both her hands across her face.

Father was named Kamio Keisuke with short brown auburn hair, he would sigh staring at mother standing their, I still remained silent as they both continued to talk about me.. It was painful, that all I could do was watch them.. Why couldn’t I talk, talk to them…

“Ikuko.. Its for the best, I know she will get better if she moved to your sister’s… she lives in a quiet village near by the sea” he walked over to her, he placed his arms around her but she slapped them away.

She glared at my father sadly, and she shook her head.. and she weakly sat down on an armchair and continued to cry..

I weakly rose to my feet shivering when I saw this, they didn’t notice I’d been watching them the whole time.. The feeling in my legs was so weak, I collapsed down onto the floor again coughing slightly.

Finally their was silence and the bright light of the door opened as my father bent down in front of me and hoisted over close to his chest.

“Misuzu… what are you doing up this late?? Come on.. I’ll take you back to bed..” he spoke as if pretending nothing just happened, my eyes flickered slightly and tears continued to fall.

“B-But.. Mama… is crying.. Why can’t you tell me what’s wrong..” I sniffed trying to push back from him, but I was too tired to even fight back.

“Nothing’s wrong with Mama.. You know its late since you have school tomorrow?” he placed a kiss on my cheek and moved back some of my short blond hair.

I thrashed my arms about screaming at the top of my lungs, I managed to move my arms and slapped him around the face.. It caused him to drop me on the floor.. I sniffed rubbing my face and slowly pushed myself, and ran in towards her and threw my arms around her legs.

She gasped uncovering her eyes, she looked down on me as I would stare back up at her.. They were sending me away, my mother didn’t want that cause she was scared of being alone.. that’s what frightened her…

I was my mother's only child, and she loved me dearly.. sometimes I think she was always alone as I was...

“Mama… let’s do our best.. Together” I forced a bright smile on my face, she bit her lip and held me up into her arms and nodded her head.

“Yes.. Misuzu.. Lets try our best..”

I smiled up at her, my father stood in the doorway watching us. My mother carried me off towards my bedroom. She opened the door, and everywhere around the room was covered with dinosaurs. The wall paper, the curtains, the bed covers.. And I had loads of books about them and toys.

I always had loved them, because they were such romantic creatures and plus it reminded me of all my happy childhood memories. Things I look back on.. I wish I could hold close forever in my heart.

“Get to sleep now.. And we shall see each other tomorrow” she kissed my forehead, sleep was trying to get the better of me.. But I wanted to know, what my parents were talking about… I had to know!

“Mama.. I..” I yawned weakly stretching out my arm, to grab onto her dress.. But she was too far out of reach.

The last thing I saw.. Was my mother’s calm voice, wishing me sweet dreams.. I made a small wish before I drifted off.. That things.. Will get better..

My father stood there shaking his head sadly, as my mother walked over towards him coughing weakly.. It was a sign… things would really never, be the same again…

TO BE CONTINUED...