Author's Note: Feel free to submit your OCs via Reviews. Include name, eye color, hair color, normal clothes, favorite movies, personality, strengths, weaknesses, best friend, crush, catchphrase and anything else you feel important. Please DO NOT give the same person for best friend and crush. If their crush is also their best friend, just write after crush (Current Best Friend) or something. Male and Female OCs are welcome, there shall be no discrimination. Yes, anonymous reviews and OCs are accepted. Multiple OCs are allowed, but don't give me more than one per review. If you want additional OCs, PM me. I really don't mind.

Kyle is taken, and Stan IS free if anyone wants him.

Yep, I joined the craze.

The Story With No Plot

By JVM

Ivy Valmont and I (I being John Robert Vanson - NOT JOHNATHON GODAMMIT) walked down the hallways of South Park Elementary, "So Ivy, how are ya?" I asked. Me and Ivy had been friends for years.

"Fine, dude." she replied, holding her books. "I wonder where Kyle is..."

"You and Kyle spend an awful lot of time together," I smirked. Ivy swiped at him half-jokingly at me. She did that a lot. She could kick some ass, but when she was in a good mood she was a really great person to be around.

"It's not what you think. Kyle is just a friend."

"Riiiight. That's what my Uncle Jason said about Amanda. Now they're married and have children and a wonderful nephew." I rolled my eyes

"Wonderful is hardly the word I would choose..."

"Amazing, Eternal, Incredible, Starlit, future President, Godlike-" it was at this point Ivy had clapped in front of my face to stop me - she wasn't in the mood for my political aspirations.

"Shut up, dude." she laughed. Ivy had long red hair down to the bottom of her upper back, and wore a red jacket and fingerless gloves. She had piercing blue eyes and wore black jeans. It's hard for me to describe her - she's like a sister to me, and this is coming from a former mindless pervert - but she's what I'm guessing would be considered attractive.

"Heh, couldn't resist." I laughed. Since I'm sure someone's wondering, I'm the kid with the messy brown hair - not to the point of Kenny's - and the round Harry Potter-type glasses. I wore a indigo blue parka coat. Me and Kenny were friends, not best friends, but if Kenny felt like talking tits, I was the guy.

"Jesus, since when is class so far?" Ivy complained.

"Since we went the wrong way, dude."

"Oh, I wish Kyle was here..." Ivy remarked, "He has such a great sense of direction..."

"I have a great sense of direction. I'm just lazy."

"Being lazy gets you nowhere."

"I don't know Ives, Bill Clinton was pretty lazy."

"How so?"

"He needed Monica Lewinsky's help to do his paperwork for one thing." I said with a smirk.

"Do you look up ways to torture me?"

"No, but I'm writing a book on it."

Now, we must truly begin this fanfic as all fanfics must begin: with Cartman getting his ass handed to him.

"Well if isn't Harry and Poison." a very fat asshole said, crossing his arms. I was pretty sure it was Cartman but it was hard to see his face behind all the fat. All right, I'm exagerrating, but he's just so god damn fat.

"Ivy, be careful, there's rocks in the road. Officer Barbrady said to keep of rocks. And you know Mr. Mackey 'Rocks are bad, m'kay'." I imitated.

"Ay, I'm not fat, I'm big boned!"

I just looked at Ivy, "Are you sure you're related to him?"

"DNA test is in the mail."

Cartman crossed his pudgy arms, "What's wrong Ivy, trying to disown your poor cousin again?"

Ivy laughed, "Yeah, right. Like you try to disown me every day."

"Ay, screw you ho!' I simply watched in amusement. It wasn't my battle to fight anyway. Besides, someone else was stepping up to the plate.

"C'mon, fatboy, lay off her!" Kyle Broflovski called, his curly auburn jewfro hairs sticking out from under his green ushanka, the arms of his orange-and-green coat crossed. Next to him Butters Stotch, his little puff of blonde hair and nervous face, was peeking out.

"Sorry Kahl, but I don't listen to dirty Jewrats. Or pussies, neither."

"C'mon fatshit, you're making a scene." I complained as kids filed around.

"It's always a scene when Cartman's fatass is on screen." Ivy said and I high-fived her.

"You gahs, shut up. I'm so sick of all you weirdasses always bothering me and shit. Get away from this god damn town!" Cartman whined publicly.

"Cartman, could you shut up?" Stan's girlfriend Wendy piped in. Ah, she was a beautiful sight. She had gorgeous brown eyes and long raven black hair to her waist and was wearing her regular purple coat today. Ivy clearly noticed my staring and gave me a bit of a glare. Ivy always seemed to hate it when I started at women, especially Wendy. Stan and her were great friends after all.

"Yeah!" Stan was instantly by to support his girlfriend. I immediatly looked up at the wall in the awkwardness of the scene. How do you explain to one of your best friends you were staring at his girlfriend because you've had a crush on her for years?

"Fine, fine." Cartman sighed, "If the Gay Patrol wants me away, I'll go." Cartman stomped off to Mr. Garrison's class. Ivy walked over to make conversation with Kyle. I, on the other hand, was joined by Pip, Butters, Kenny, Tweek, Kevin and Dougie. Yes, I'm a Melvin sympathizer. I gave a last glance at beautiful Wendy before turning to my fellow Melvins.

"So what's up, Kyle?" Ivy said to Kyle with a grin.

"Nothing much. How are you, Ives?" Kyle asked.

Ivy ran her fingers through her hair, "I'm fantastic, what's new with you, Twizzlerhead?"

"Watched Ike all day last night. Boring as hell. Watched Terrance & Phillip and ER at the end of the night, then Ike watched the second part of a seven-part documentary on Dwight D. Eisenhower."

"Ah, I see. I hate when I have to watch fatass. Well, Liane puts him in charge but you know me, I never let fatass have his way. Not for the country."

"Don't say that to the Patriot," Kyle rolled his eyes, referring to John (Myself).

Ivy laughed, "You always know how to make me laugh, Kyle."

"Oh, you say that to everyone." Kyle seemed to almost blush as she complimented him.

"Nope, that compliment is reserved especially for you." she gave a sweet smile to Kyle.

"Oh, you're so nice, always reserving special compliments for your little Twizzlerhead." Kyle grinned mischeviously.

"Got any compliments for me then?" Ivy smirked. She was unusually playful with Kyle. Of course I'd known ever since they first met she was head-over-heels in love with Kyle. Just cause I'm a total complete pervert doesn't mean I don't know what love is, and I know Ivy loves Twizzlerhead.

"You look positvely dashing today." Kyle said with a thick british acsent jokingly.

"Oh, you really mean it?" Ivy did something I never saw her do.

IVY.

BLUSHED.

Let it be known, from here to Japan, that Ivy Valmont's cheeks turned a dazzling shade of red in response to assertions by Kyle Broflovski of her pretiness.

IVY.

FUCKING.

BLUSHED.

Over by me and the Melvins, we were in the middle of a rather rigorous discussion about- "Oh God. They're after me I know it - ACK." Tweek twitched.

"Oh b-b-but Tweek you gotta s-s-stop worrying about those u-underpants gnomes." Butters clicked his fingers together.

"But they're going to get me! AUGH! What if they try to suffocate me with my own underwear? Oh God, I'm going to die! ERGH!" Tweek grabbed his hair, "Oh Jesus is hair supposed to just come out like that!?" he held globs of blonde hair.

"Dude!" Dougie looked shocked.

"Eho! Calm down chap!" Pip worried.

"So did you see Episode V on Spike last Saturday?" Kevin said. Me and him always had those avid nerdy Star Wars discussions. And Star Trek.

"Hell yeah!" I laughed, "Twist always gets to me."

"Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father." Kevin imitated the voice of Darth Vader.

"He told me enough, he told me you killed him!" I imitated Mark Hammill.

"No... I am your father!' Kevin said, and we laughed again, "Don't you hate it when people say 'Luke, I am your father' instead?"

"Eh, I hate the part where they go 'You nerd' for knowing that." I laughed again.

"Eho! Are you two speaking of Star Trek again?" Pip asked.

"No, no, isn't it obvious Pip? John and Kevin are obviously talking about that fantastic gay porn they watched together last night."

"Star Wars." Kevin said.

"Star Trek's awesome too, though." I added. "Live long and prosper." I gave the Vulcan salute.

Kevin got into a discussion with the others, which gave me some silent time as of course my mind landed the same place my eyes did whenever they went idle. Wendy of course. God, she was just so amazing. Always so funny, and there was something about her smile. And for some reason, I couldn't get her off my mind. Every little thing reminded me of her somehow. Every little thing. I'm using ketchup on my sandwhich at Lunch... ketchup is red... Wendy always uses red pen for corrections... See what I mean? Godammit I can't stop thinking about her.

Apparently, she realized I was staring because she gave me a weird look and turned back towards Stan. I sighed a bit and returned to our conversation on... wait, when did we start talking about the Civil Rights Movement?

Shit!

To Be Continued...

Author's Note: Any ideas, feel free to contact me via PM, AIM, MSN, Yahoo, email, etc.

Thanks to Lucy for Twizzlerhead :P Check out "I Love Lucy" it's fantastic.

Characters belong to:

Cartooncutie17 - Ivy Valmont

JVM - John Vanson

I always had a list of a few major "symptoms" of love:"

1) You can't stop thinking about said person

2) You're almost always nervous around them

3) You think they look beautiful, even if they don't conform to your usual standards.

4) You always worry about them and need to know where they are and if they're okay.

Suffer from all four? I think that means love.