A/N: Unbeta'd present for Nubi-chan (BeautifulSilverSilence), who just... deserves it liek woah, for making me laugh, and putting up with me at insane hours of the night, and listening to me complain about homework, and making me laugh at insane hours of the night while I complain about homework. Because she is made of epic, and win, and... other things...

When We Were Young

Kakashi Hatake was beyond experiencing emotions such as annoyance. It was a trivial feeling, to be sure, and appropriately aimed towards trivial people and problems. Kakashi had no time for unimportant things, either people or emotions. He simply did not bother with useless feelings, which seemed to govern the lives of a great many of his immature little Academy classmates (who were actually all four or five years older than him).

Irritation, frustration, indecision, helplessness-- all not worth wasting a moment of his time on. So Kakashi didn't feel annoyance.

Then he met Maito Gai.

"Yosh! What inspiring dedication to the art of taijutsu!"

Kakashi bit back a growl and slammed his fist into the training post with renewed strength. The wood crunched beneath his steel-plated knuckles and pain shot up his arm, almost drowning out the sight and sound of the green-clad maniac bouncing about in the limits of his peripheral vision. Not only was cheering incredibly bad form for a ninja, who were supposed to be subtle and silent, but the constant flickers of movement and sudden shouts were starting to make him twitchy.

"It must be the fires of your incredible youth that give you such power!" Kakashi saw the older boy begin to circle the post, peering intently at him from beneath furrowed brows. "Such concentration... so intent on your training that you don't even notice those around you!"

Wrong, Kakashi thought vehemently. What kind of shinobi would I be if I couldn't even sense you while I was training?

"Your determination is truly an example of what sets you apart from the rest of your peers, Kakashi-san! I see why you are called a true genius!"

Enough was enough. Kakashi withdrew from the post on the bone-jarring rebound of his last punch, tiny fists drawn back tight to his chest, muscles tightly coiled in preparation to snap for a few moments before he fell from the stance.

"How do you know my name?" he asked coldly.

The boy blinked at Kakashi in shock, big eyes wide with surprise. "Everybody knows you, Kakashi Hatake! The tales of your youth and strength are quite popular with your classmates! They speak of you often!"

Kakashi knew that his classmates talked about him, but he also knew that it was not in a complimentary way. Was this boy attempting to make fun of him?

"You're not one of my classmates," he pointed out.

"Alas, no! I was not fortunate enough to have been placed in your year, to be one of your comrades through the rigors of Academy training!"

Kakashi stared at the boy, who showed no signs of stopping his act. This had to be one of the most pathetic jokes that had ever been played on him.

"I believe we have not been properly introduced. I am Maito Gai! I am pleased to make your accquaintance. Please, simply Gai will do!"

"That's a stupid name," Kakashi told him frostily. "If you want to be friends, then don't ask me to call you by your surname."

"No, no, my youthful comrade," said Maito-Gai-simply-Gai-will-do. "I am of the mightly clan Maito! I offered you my name as a token of my respect for you."

"Then it should be Gai Maito."

Gai beamed at him in what Kakashi interpreted to be a properly condecending manner, shaking his head and making his bowl cut shine in the sunlight. "Ah, but there you have made a mistake, Kakashi-san. The Maito clan has roots that stretch far back into the great history of the Upper Peninsula. My branch of the family is but the first to venture down into the Elemental Countries. Where I am from, my name is properly announced as Maito Gai."

"You're in Konoha now," said Kakashi curtly, frowning. "If you follow the rules, then according to our customs, it is properly announed Gai Maito."

That did explain Gai's strange speech patterns, though. If he had been born in the Upper Peninsula, across the mountain ridge that deliniated Earth Country's northernmost borders, then he must still be learning the language of the Elemental Countries. His overpronounciation and rigid use of formal language were the results of speaking a foreign dialect. Gai simply hadn't picked up Fire Country colloquialisms yet.

Good, Kakashi thought, approving grudgingly. Although the overuse of adjectives was undesirable, at least Gai understood how to speak precisely.

"But how could I deny my heritage?" gasped Gai, looking horrified. "No, I must remain true to my Peninsulan roots, and so honor the ancestors of the Maito clan! Yosh!"

Kakashi winced at the volume of his cheer. "What," he growled, "is yosh?"

Gai grinned and gave Kakashi a hugely exaggerated thumbs up-- another Fire Country gesture that he hadn't yet picked up the subtlties of, probably. "It is a traditional cry of enthusiasm and vigor, first used by my great-great-great-great grandfather, the very first Beautiful Beast of the Maito Clan!"

A headache was starting to pound at Kakashi's temples. The first Beautiful Beast? I can already tell that one is bad news, whatever it is. But there are more of them?

"Ah, I see by your expression that you are wondering what a Beautiful Beast is," Gai said, smiling craftily. "And I must congratulate you, Kakashi-san. That mask of yours does an admirable job of concealing most facial expressions-- most clever of you! However, since I am striving to become the first in a long line of successful Maito ninja in Konoha, I have learned to read deeply into body language. Your doubtless unbearable curiousity does not escape me!"

"I don't really--"

"A Beautiful Beast," said Gai loudly, talking over Kakashi in his sickening enthusiasm, "is a warrior of the Maito clan! Long ago, it was the Beautiful Beasts who enforced the safety of the Upper Peninsula through the feudal wars of decades past! They were protectors of the powerless, guardians of the helpless and meek, shining beacons of hope for the common Peninsulan people!"

"But they weren't shinobi," Kakashi cut in bluntly.

Gai looked sheepish, his thunder stolen. "No," he admitted reluctantly, "they weren't. But they were samurai of a great order, masters of both sword and fist! In fact, my great-great grandfather was the creator of the Strong First taijutsu style, a legacy that has been passed down to myself, which I will do my best to honor with determination and honesty!"

Kakashi snorted. Samurai, he thought cuttingly, are nothing compared to shinobi. They are the drop-outs of shinobi villages, the scum of our society. I would be ashamed to admit one samurai ancestor, let alone seven. And Strong Fist is the style of peasant brawlers and undisciplined first-generation ninja, trying to substitute raw brutality for skill or finesse.

But Gai was still talking, his eyes shining with fervour. "That is why I am proud to call myself the very first Beautiful Green Beast, a title which I have taken in honor of the fertile forests of Fire Country! I know that through hard work and the burning flames of my passion, I will one day match your youthful skills and vigour! YOSH!"

His feet akimbo, face split in a grin of epic proportions, Gai thrust out both thumbs to Kakashi and winked broadly.

Kakashi snapped.

"Gai," he said stiffly, through clenched teeth, "you reek of virility."

The dark-haired boy blinked in surprise, taken aback by the vehemence of Kakashi's four year-old voice.

"You stink of good character," Kakashi continued doggedly, spitting the words like poison. "You are filled with the filth of hard work, and you are absolutely acrid with the stench of perseverance."

Gai blinked and stared owlishly, open-mouthed with shock. Heaving for breath, Kakashi turned on his heel and stalked away, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. It was the first time he had ever felt true frustration.

With Maito Gai around, it was certainly not the last time.