Author: Ein Kampf kann eine Lebenszeit PM
To them it was justified killing. I had committed a justified murder. These men... I was far better than these men. Rated T for some ideas, Jasper POV. Please read and review.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Jasper - Words: 1,906 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 03-28-09 - Status: Complete - id: 4954952
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
5:30 AM. That was when Alice started getting ready, usually. Today she was sitting. She looked confused, about what, I didn't know. She would look a different direction occasionally. She had been this way since about four, when she got her last vision. Suddenly she stood up, walking out of the room.
"We need to watch the news," she said. I assumed that she was speaking not only to me, but also to the entire house. I followed her slowly, Edward joining me at the stairs.
"What's wrong?" he asked in a quite voice. Usually Alice was in a towel at this time in the morning, not still in her nightclothes. I looked from her un-styled hair to him, shaking my head.
"I don't know. This morning she just went into this sort of trance. She only just said something now," I told him. The thing about this family was that, even though we could listen to everyone, we didn't unless they raised their voices just to be heard. It was much different from what I was used to. I liked it.
By the time we all got down to the television room (which was really only used by Emmett) Alice was sitting there with the channel turned to ABC. Good Morning America was playing. Everything was normal. Her eyes were trained on the spot where they showed small video clips that went to the full screen, should they show video clips. But they weren't showing any videos this morning.
"What time is it?" she asked suddenly. Her eyes never left that spot on the television. Edward looked towards the bottom where they showed the time.
"Five forty three, why?" he said. He sat on her right, and I on her left.
"It's not like we could have done anything, really. It's just going to happen. No one could have stopped it unless they were part of it," she said. To her, I'm sure, it made absolute sense, but to myself, Edward, and everyone else listening to her speak, it was nonsense. Edward was focusing on her, most likely trying to see what she had seen, but he wasn't making any progress. At lease, it didn't look like he was. He had always been good at hiding things other people didn't, or shouldn't, know about. It was something I envied about him.
"And school is going to be canceled. We shouldn't even bother trying to get ready. Your trip to Rome isn't going to happen, Rosalie," she said, still staring at the television.
"We repeat, a plane has crashed into the North tower of the World Trade Centers. Smoke is coming from the building. We do not have news on if there are any casualties," the blonde news lady said. I looked at the television, seeing the small screen go to full screen. The building I had once used for shade in New York, I remembered because it was so tall, had smoke billowing out of it. Having come from Texas, tall buildings were new to me. They didn't scare me, as they had other people, but instead they peaked my interest. I was amazed at how something could stand so tall and straight, and hold so many people. Now it was holding an airplane.
"You wouldn't be able to help, Carlisle. That area isn't expecting any kind of storm soon," Edward said, looking at our father.
"I know, son, but all those people. The doctors there aren't going to know what to do with so many patients. Some may be maltreated. I could stay in the hospital. I wouldn't leave except for at night," Carlisle said. I shook my head. Edward was about to speak, but I said it first.
"By the time you would get there most would be dead, dying, or beyond help," my voice was empty. Usually it held some sort of emotion, but I suppose it had just been my years in the South, but I had become numb to the death of humans. They were all weak creatures who had an expiration time anyway. That's how I had always seen them, and that's how I always would see them. A man jumped from one of the higher levels of the building.
I could feel the pain coming from Esme. She loved everyone, even strangers, equally. She didn't know why they chose to kill themselves when they had such wonderful lives, but she did understand why, in desperation, they would do it. Her empathy was stronger than anyone elses. She closed her eyes before she could see the man hit the pavement.
Carlisle's hand was on her back, going in circles. He wanted to help, I could tell from the compassion he was sending off. His love for his family and love for humanity was different, but they were equal in strength.
It was then that another plane was seen going into the second building. At this point Esme left the room, followed closely by Carlisle. Emmett sat down on the other couch and Rosalie sat next to him. I stood up and went to the back of the couch, leaving Edward and Alice alone. They were having a silent conversation, I could tell.
The camera's were trained on the buildings as they burned. They were talking about suspicions of hijackers. It really was the only logical explanation because planes usually never went off course for no reason. It surprised me.
In this world today people were sent to prison for murdering someone else if they were found guilty. When I was a human a man was forced to go to the funeral of the man he killed, then he was hung. There was no sitting in a jail cell until they died. They were executed then and there.
I had been taught, by this family, that killing humans was not wrong, but it was frowned upon. They understood that I physically could not help but wanting to kill them. I could not help but wanting to feel the blood drain from their body as mine was filled. They helped me through it all.
But when humans killed other humans, and in such large amounts as today, they were all ready to go help the people who had been hurt. To me it just said that that act was, not okay, but not wrong either. It told me that if suicide hijackers were going to kill themselves and take thousands of others with them, then that was okay. But as soon as one man killed another on an average Thursday, that was illegal and he should be allowed to live his life, just behind bars.
I was sure that we weren't going to go to war because people crashed a plane into two buildings. No. I figured we were going to mourn the loss of those American's as a country and then we would go on about life as if it never happened. That is what we did at the end of the Civil War, at the end of Pearl Harbor, at the end of every other event that killed thousands of American's.
I would never say I was punished or scolded for having killed a human while I was with the Cullen's. I was just told that I could do their diet, and they all had faith in me. I was never told it was wrong, and I was never told not to do it again. I was like a child in the way that if someone told me not to do something, I would do it on purpose just to not follow what they said. But it was Carlisle's knowledge of the human mind that led him to never say not to do it again, or that it was wrong. He had never had the blood of a human, but he understood the first half of my vampiric life was spent killing humans not only for food, but to use them to my advantage. To make them do what I wanted them to do and have them do it the way I wanted it to be done.
He understood that I was used to manipulating others, especially humans because they were all so naïve of the world around them. He understood that I couldn't help it if a human whose skin was broken got too close for that one second.
And then there was Alice. I would always run off to some isolated place after I fed off a human and she would always find me. She would always come with happy, warm, loving feelings and offer me her hand, much like she did all those years ago in that small run down diner. There was never an exchange of words when those times came up. She and I both knew that I had the strength to feed off of only animals, and we also knew that she would be by my side every time that didn't happen.
So watching those planes, controlled by people with the intent to kill other people, made me realize just how lucky I had been throughout my life. I never had the need to kill so many people at once just to kill them. I always killed people for something, whether it be to satisfy my thirst, or to make Maria happy. I never killed just to kill.
In my mind, that made me better than some humans. There were those where murder never crossed their mind, and there were those who were set on waiting till marriage for making love. Those humans were better than I would ever be. I had lost my virginity at the age of fourteen to a girl I knew from when we were children. I had killed a man for the first time at the age of seventeen.
Alice knew all of this. Alice still loved me because she knew I had reasons for everything I did. Right now, there was pity, anger, hate, and resentment filling the room. All were coming from Alice. She was the smallest one in this family, and yet she could always have the strongest emotions.
Carlisle had once told me it was only because I only truly, deeply cared for her and I subconsciously wanted to know how she was feeling at every minute of the day. It was then that I realized how much I didn't know about emotions and their origins, which were mainly thoughts. So that following term I enrolled at the local university to take psychology. It was my first degree. Alice was so proud of me the day I got it.
The news reported several more attacks that day, and it still amazed me that people were willing to risk their own lives to make a point that was still unclear to everyone having to go through it.
Justified killing is what they saw it as, no doubt. But I had committed a justified murder, a hundred times over. This was just slaughter for the sake of slaughter. These men… these men I was better than.
Slight hint at what my next multi chapter story is about, even has two words in there about it. :D Anyway, please review. Um... Yeah. :D