Title: Coming Around
Author: Reyn
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Do not own! Do not want!
Warnings: NaruSasu, lewdness, oneshot
Author’s Note: This was meant to be a H/C fic...and I sort of failed. I really can't write those when trying.

Coming Around

Sasuke stepped out of his bathroom with a towel draped over his head, frowning at the colorful lights that somehow managed to shine their way through his closed blinds. Outside, the town had been decorated with a plethora of colors, bushy pine trees, and poinsettias in preparation for Christmas. This offended Sasuke greatly seeing as how ever since the tender age of eight he failed to understand the purpose of celebrating Christmas – or any holiday for that matter – when you were a ninja. Work and missions continued on as normal with no consideration for the holiday, no bonuses were given, and people smiled at you more.

It was unnerving.

Holidays were never celebrated back when he was Orochimaru’s concubine. Hell, half the time he didn’t even know what day it was…

Sasuke paused in the drying of his hair, his frown slipping into a deep scowl. He had been paying too much attention to Naruto for his teasing label of ‘concubine’ to actually enter his own thoughts.

Walking over to the window, he attempted to shut the blinds even tighter as if he could hide himself away from the world’s cheer.

A knock on the door told him he couldn’t.

Wrapping his towel around his waist, Sasuke made his way over to the door, not bothering to turn on any lights in hopes that it would dissuade his unwanted visitor from thinking he would invite them in. Upon opening the door, however, he found that his wish would once again be denied.

Because his guest was Naruto.

Looking very much like Christmas had thrown up on him.

For a moment the two simply stared at one another silently, each making his own judgments about the other. It wasn’t until Naruto voiced his opinion that Sasuke realized he didn’t exactly have the right to mentally criticize.

“If you were anyone else, I would assume you were expecting a hot piece of ass rather than me, but seeing as how you tend to snarl at anyone within a ten foot radius, I’m going to assume I just caught you dancing naked around your apartment.”

Face falling into a deadpanned glare, Sasuke could think of no witty comeback. “Aren’t you supposed to be out on a mission?” he asked instead.

“What? And let you sit here brooding?” Naruto snorted, pushing his way past Sasuke and into the apartment.

Stepping aside, Sasuke watched as Naruto dumped the pile of stuff he had in his arms all over his floor in favor of fighting to pull the tree he was dragging through the doorway. Making no move to help, Sasuke walked around the mess and into the small kitchen.

“I’ve been brooding since I was seven,” he said as he opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water. “I would appreciate it if you stopped trying to alter my way of life.”

“But it’s Christmas!” Naruto argued, kicking aside random boxes and bags as he managed to heave the tree into the living room.

“We don’t celebrate Christmas,” Sasuke stated simply in regards to their circumstances as children.

Looking over from his task of pulling the tree into a corner of the room, Naruto glared and defiantly brought the tree into a standing position. “We do now.”

Rolling his eyes as Naruto began pulling various decorations out from the chaos he had dropped earlier, Sasuke motioned his hand toward both the tree and the mess. “You do realize all of this is going to be thrown away the day after tomorrow, right?”

“Trust me, you’ll be fighting to keep everything after the memories I make with you,” Naruto said with a rogue smirk that caused Sasuke to choke on his sip of water.

As soon as he got over his coughing fit, Sasuke sent a glare in Naruto’s direction as he capped his water and placed it back in the fridge.

“Pervert,” he muttered darkly.

“What? If anyone’s the pervert here, it’s you!” Naruto accused, dropping his armload of garland and Christmas lights by the tree in order to point a finger at Sasuke.

Stepping out of the kitchen and leaning a hip against the small dining room table, Sasuke crossed his arms defensively. “How so?” he challenged.

This caused Naruto to do a double-take, as if he couldn’t believe Sasuke was seriously asking that question. “You-!” Hands waved around in an effort to encompass what Naruto was trying to say. “Look at you! Ever since I got here you’ve been parading around naked! And you have the guts to say I’m the pervert? I’m starting to wonder if you’re trying to send me some kind of message or something with how low you’ve been letting that towel slip!”

Raising a brow, Sasuke glanced down where sure enough his towel was hanging dangerously low on his hips. Not that he didn’t have anything Naruto hadn’t seen before back when they were kids; but he did suppose it could still put ideas in someone’s head…if they were a moron.

Unable to hide the smirk at the simple idea of Naruto being a moron, Sasuke picked himself up off the table and moved to where Naruto was. Uncrossing his arms in favor of letting a hand drag along the back of the couch, he didn’t stop until he was standing far closer than reasonable in the otherwise empty apartment.

“And what kind of message am I sending to you, Naruto?” he asked in a low voice that caused Naruto’s eyes to widen almost comically.

Completely thrown by Sasuke’s abrupt change in mood, Naruto’s mouth failed to produce any noise as it open and shut repeatedly.

As the silence stretched on, Sasuke finally stepped back, giving the idiot a bit of breathing room. “Tch. Chicken,” he goaded, turning around to head back to his bedroom to change.

“What? You dick! You need to give me some time to think of a good answer!” Naruto shouted just before the bedroom door clicked shut. “I bet my penis is still bigger than yours!!” he childishly yelled when Sasuke failed to reappear right away.

Choosing to be the bigger man, Sasuke did not dignify such a lame insult with a response. He took his own sweet time in getting dressed and did not think about the various bangs and jingling noises that were coming from his living room.

Half an hour later he realized this to be a mistake as he stepped out only to have his eyes water at how brightly the place seemed to glow with color as well as his ears bleed thanks to being assaulted by what had to be at least ten different Christmas carols playing all at once from various motion-activated dolls and décor.

The noise was the first to go with a few well-aimed shuriken. Sasuke had to fight back the maniacal cackle that wanted to bubble up at the sweet sweet sound of Santa’s music box grinding to a pathetic halt as the fat belly was pierced straight through to the wall. Next to go were the lights. Unfortunately, unless he wanted to cause a possible black out through most of his section of the village, he had to manually find every last electric socket Naruto had used to unplug everything.

He never realized just how many sockets he had throughout his place until he finally had enough and just started grabbing wires and yanking them with all his might. There were a lot more casualties using this method, both with his possessions and the decorations, but it made for better stress relief.

It wasn’t until nearly two hours later when everything was in a broken mess of a pile in the center of his living room forming a gross parody of a Christmas Tree that it occurred to Sasuke that Naruto must have used shadow clones to decorate the place so quickly.

Feeling a bit stupid at not thinking of such a strategy himself when destroying the place, Sasuke was about to open the blinds so that he could toss everything out on the street when a blinking red light from the kitchen caught his attention.

Fed up with Naruto’s annoying antics, Sasuke took no chances as he drew his sword and stalked into the kitchen. The source of the light turned out to be the nose of a small Rudolph plushie that was sitting on top of a note. Skewering the toy, Sasuke rested his sword on his shoulder as he picked up the note.

Hey Jerkface,

Try not to destroy the decorations. I borrowed them all from the Hokage.

A large sweatdrop made its way down the side of Sasuke’s head as several tick marks appeared.

PS – Look out your window!

Crumpling the note, Sasuke moved back to the window and cleanly sliced his blinds in half in order to clear his view. Squinting as his eyes were once again assaulted with holiday cheer, it took him several seconds to notice a blond figure waving at him from the rooftop across the street.

As soon as Naruto seemed sure he had Sasuke’s attention, he turned around and dropped his pants.

Far too used to being mooned by Naruto from when they were children, Sasuke’s stare merely deadpanned before he tilted his head a bit, noticing that Naruto’s ass had actually developed quite nicely.

Unfortunately, his appraisal had to stop there as a snowball came flying up from the street below, hitting Naruto’s left cheek with enough force to cause him to stumble.

“Unless yer butt can fart Jingle Bells, I dun wanna see it!” a drunken voice shouted.

Shaking his head, Sasuke stepped away from the window, the image of Naruto’s finely toned ass still floating about in his head. While he certainly didn’t consider himself a pervert, he had a feeling the holidays wouldn’t be so bad if he could get it through Naruto’s thick head just what it was that he really wanted for Christmas…provided, of course, that the rest of Naruto had matured just as perfectly.