"Last time, On The Extra Smashy Amazing Race, eight teams went from Tallon IV to Mushroom Kingdom," explained Koopa. "Once there, some teams had navigational problems!"

"Darn, we missed the turn again..." said Falcon sheepishly, driving recklessly.

"Darn it, this wasn't a good idea to follow the Frats!" whined Fox as they missed the turn that the Frats made.

"Team Ness and Pikachu got into a few arguments, bringing them down later in the leg!"

"Okay, okay, you win!" whimpered Ness, the stuffed animal on top of him.

"Dang it!" said Ness, kicking Pikachu, "You stupid Pikachu!"

"This is very cooperative of you, Unlike some people who are being uncooperative!" said Ness angrily.

Ness attempted to push down Pikachu.

"Mewtwo and Lucario took the second Fast Forward in the race, this time succeeding and getting in first!"

"Team Mewtwo and Lucario, you're team number one!" said Koopa.

"As a result by the Fast Forward's task, They met a familiar face at a downtown bar!"

"Victor!" said Lucario.

"What are you doing here?" asked Lucario.
"I...work here," explained Victor sheepishly.

"Because of Lucario's being friends with the local drug dealer, it landed him in first!" said Koopa. "On the Detour, teams Marth and Ike & Falcon and Ganondorf battled it out! In the end, Marth and Ike got the better end!"

"Team Marth and Ike, you're team number..." said Koopa, "...four!"

"Team Link and Yoshi got sixth out of eight teams, the first time they didn't get second-last! And it came down to a two-way race between the Entrepreneurs and the Best Friends! But after a close call..."

Ness threw his Yo-yo, which successfully put Fox and Wolf back to back, tied up.

Ness tossed Pikachu into the mat.

Ness reached to get Pikachu.
Fox reached to touch the mat.
Ness put Pikachu on the mat.

"...The Entrepreneurs were eliminated!"

"We did better than three other teams," lamented Wolf.

"Seven Teams remain...who will be eliminated, next?" asked Koopa dramatically.

The Teams (With Current Handicaps):

Falcon and Ganondorf (MY NAME IS GANONDURF YUK YUK)

Marth and Ike (We're extremely Bipolar, which may cause us to-HEY, GET AWAY FROM OUR FOOD YA SUNUVA BI-)

Roy and Snake (My son is extremely trigger happy, which has cost us a lot of money and time)

Ness and Pikachu (One of us is FREAKING UNCOOPERATIVE!1)

Mewtwo and Lucario (Mewtwo goes insane!)

Link and Yoshi (We have a bad placing resume, and we may not last much longer)

Toon Link and Jigglypuff (The other teams are starting to dislike us, and we're low on money)

"After arriving at the first pit stop, all teams have to undertake a mandatory rest period where they can sleep, eat, and mingle with the other teams!" said Koopa Troopa.

"Say, Pikachu, you never answered me what it means when someone puts their middle finger in the air!" said Ness.

"Uh...you'd be better off in the dark about that one," said Pikachu, shifting uneasily.

"Hey, Frat guys, here's your bag!" said Toon Link, handing Ganondorf and Falcon their bag back.

"Wow, thanks, we'd forgotten about this, thanks!" said Ganondorf.

Later, Mewtwo used the TBSAR drug, with Falcon and Ganondorf also.

"Can team Mewtwo and Lucario keep their hard earned lead? Will the rivalry between the Students and Swordsmen become the downfall of one? And can Ness and Pikachu catch up with the other six teams and stay in the race, or will the Lawyers edge them out too?" said Koopa.

"Team Mewtwo and Lucario, who were first to arrive at 3:46 AM, shall depart at 3:46 PM!" said Koopa Troopa.

Mewtwo and Lucario
1st to Depart; 3:46 PM

"We're low on money, as a result from the Fast Forward last leg," said Lucario, checking their money.

"You know, I don't feel any different from the dru-" said Mewtwo before Lucario interrupted him.

"What drug?" asked Lucario.

Mewtwo instantly got buffer and more muscular, and he transformed into TBSAR Mewtwo.

"...This isn't gonna turn out good, is it?" asked Lucario, taking a few steps back.

Five minutes later...

"Oh god," moaned Lucario, bruised and beaten.

"Make your way to the local airport and collect tickets for two to Corneria!" read the now sadistic Mewtwo, sharpening a curved blade.

"Teams must now book tickets to Corneria!" Said Koopa, "There are three flights, 4:30, 4:45 and 7:00! Only two teams are allowed on the first flight!"

"We have little time, move," ordered Mewtwo, throwing a blade in Lucario's back.

"I wonder how long the drug will take to wear off," mused Lucario, bleeding on the Pit stop mat.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Look, only one team can be on the flight with us!" smiled Lucario, nervously.

"Good, buy them," said Mewtwo menacingly, raising his hands as they glowed from the psychic.

"Uh, two tickets to the 4:30 flight!" stuttered Lucario, unused to the cruelty.

"Right-o, two tickets!" said the flight worker, smiling.

"Stop smiling," said Mewtwo, shooting the worker's arm.

The Worker whimpered and gave them the tickets.

Mewtwo and Lucario
1st for 4:30 PM Flight

"We're only fifteen minutes ahead of the other three teams, we'll have to move double time." said Mewtwo, allowing himself a small evil smile.

"Y-yeah, double time..." said Lucario, looking very terrified.

"Let's see, how did you treat me when we had Double time..." said Mewtwo, cackling as he got a whip out and brandished it, "Ah yes, you whipped me if I slowed my pace!"

Lucario whimpered and backed up.

Roy and Snake
2nd to Depart; 4:16 PM

"We have to hurry, we can just barely make the first flight!" said Roy as he watched Snake put away the clue and jog forward.

"Taxi!" said Snake, waving an arm.

Roy and Snake

"4:24, hurry dad!" said Snake, running up to the desk.

"Two tickets to the 4:30 Flight!" gasped out Roy, and he breathed heavily.

"You're very lucky, we were about to close down the tickets for that!" said the female worker, smiling.

Roy took the tickets and smiled back.

Roy and Snake
Last for 4:30 PM Flight

"Thank you! We have only 6 minutes to board!" said Roy as he ran towards the entrance for the plane.

"5 you mean!" corrected Snake as he ran past him.

"There, we can make it!" pointed Roy ahead. "Run, Snake!"

"Let us on that plane!" said Snake angrily, running into the entrance recklessly.

Roy followed, and they quickly took their seats.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"They made it, and I personally blame you," hissed Mewtwo, shooting Lucario in the hand.

"I uh, need to go to the bathroom..." said Lucario, standing up and walking towards the bathroom.

Mewtwo watched him.

Lucario passed the bathrooms and jumped out the emergency exit.

"..." said Mewtwo angrily.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
3rd to Depart; 4:35 PM

"Go to the airport and book tickets on one of three flights to Corneria!" read Jigglypuff, beaming happily.

"I'm glad some of the teams now like us," said Toon Link. "That'll come in handy when we get further in the race and a U-turn comes up!"

"We're so popular!" said Jigglypuff.

She was run over by a taxi.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Pre-Leg Interview

"We think ourselves as the cute kid team for the season," explained Toon Link. "We're trying to prove we're not bad or anything like that by returning Falcon's handbag for example!"

"It's a satchel, not a handbag!" yelled Falcon angrily, running in and punching Toon Link.

Jigglypuff and the cameraman watched.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
1st for 4:45 PM Flight

"Thanks!" said Toon Link, taking the tickets and walking away.

"We had to beg for tickets, but because we're so cute, we got away with getting tickets!" said Jigglypuff.

"We have only 34 dollars for the leg, and we're using it for the taxis. So we're using our taxi only when we need it!" said Toon Link.

Marth and Ike
4th to Depart; 4:41 PM

"Buy two tickets to Corneria!" read Marth, "There are only three flights!"

"The first one's gone, we can only make the second!" replied Ike, counting the money. "34 dollars for this leg of the race!"

"We have wisely rationed money, so we're not worried!" smiled Marth.

"The Students apparently have no money left besides the 34 dollars," cackled Ike, "Sweet revenge!"

"I know, we can maybe pass those kids and get an alliance or something..." mused Marth, rubbing his chin as he and Ike hopped inside a taxi.

Falcon and Ganondorf
5th to Depart; 4:42 PM

"Buy two tickets to Corneria! There are only Three flights!" read Falcon.

"Wait...if the drug was supposed to do something to all three of us, what will it do to us?" asked Ganondorf.

Then the drug took effect.

"I SEE DEAD PEEEPLE" screamed Falcon, his pupils growing bigger in size.

"OM NOM NOM NOM" said Ganondorf, jumping into a taxi and throwing weed packets at the taxi driver, "TAKE US TO THE AIRPORT OR WE WILL TELL ON YOU"

The taxi driver stared angrily at Ganondorf.

"OMG YOU LOOK LIKE UR MAD" said Ganondorf.

The Taxi driver stared angrily at Ganondorf.

"SRSLY UR CREEPING ME OUT" said Ganondorf.

Marth and Ike
Currently in 4th Place

"Let's see if the Frats wanna be our partners!" smiled Marth.

"I thought we were gonna work independent!" said Ike angrily.

"Hey Frat boys!" called out Marth.

"HI THERE I AM GANONDORF WHAT IS UR NAME" said Ganondorf, hitting Marth in the face with the bat.

"I THINK HE LIEKS IT" said Falcon, also hitting Marth with a bat. "SEE HE DOES"

Marth bled all over Ike.

"We're working solo," sighed Ike, wiping the blood off.

Marth and Ike
2nd for 4:45 PM Flight

"Thanks," said Ike, taking the tickets and walking to their Airplane.

"Wow, what got into those dumb frats?" asked Marth angrily, clenching his broken bloody nose.

"Who knows, I heard Mewtwo went insane too," said Ike. "So basically, Roy and Snake are the only other sane ones."

"Oh look, a bond stock sale!" smiled Ike, pointing to a store right next to the Entrance to their Airplane.

"We have one minute until the freaking flight!" yelled Marth angrily, pointing to the Entrance. "We have to get on!"

The Gate Entrance for their flight was starting to close.

"Sir, come over here," said an alligator, with a poor French accent and a bad mustache, "Come buy some stock bonds!"

"But the guy is practically asking me to buy his stuff!" said Ike hysterically.

"The flight!" said Marth, pointing angrily.

Ike walked over to the salesman.

"Psst, buddy! I'm a friend of Lucario's, and I wanted you to tell him this!" whispered the alligator. "I've been laying low from the police, because they found me out, and if I get caught, I'll-"

Ike ripped his obviously fake mustache.

"Crap," said Victor, "I've been found again!"

He quickly wrote a note and threw it at Ike, then ran away to avoid the policemen running towards him.

Marth dragged a confused Ike inside the entrance.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Last for 4:45 PM Flight

"WE MADE IT OLOL" said Falcon, using an RPG to smash the Gate that was closing open.

The two very, very drugged frats stumbled inside the flight.

"I BET WE'RE THE BEST TEAM EVAR" said Ganondorf, punching the police man trying to stop them.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"What happened to the Frats?" asked Toon Link, surprised about the frats' strange behavior.

"They're certainly an improvement," said Jigglypuff.

"What the hell?" said Toon Link, surprised.

Link and Yoshi
6th to Depart; 4:57 PM

"We're not last out for once!" smiled Link as he ripped open the clue. "Go to the airport and buy two tickets to Corneria!"

"We have shown that we can really be one of the Final Three teams!" said Yoshi, smiling.

"We are on the last flight with the team that made the footrace last leg," said Link as he hailed a taxi.

"What about our case?" asked Yoshi.

"We'll uh, manage it..." said Link, before drawing his sword.

He pointed it at the taxi driver.

"Take us to the airport or else!" said Link.

Ness and Pikachu
Last to Depart; 5:05 PM

"We're the last team out," sniffed Pikachu.

"Buy two tickets to Corneria!" read Ness. "We have to beat the lawyers to the Pit stop!"

"But...they're so lucky!" panicked Pikachu, "And we've not been as experienced as they have!"

"I know, but it's either us or them," said Ness dramatically.

They hailed a taxi and drove towards the airport.

Fox and Wolf

"Make your way to-" began Wolf.

"You're not in the freaking race anymore!" yelled Koopa angrily, "Get out of here!"

"Never!" cried Fox, kicking Koopa and taking off in a taxi.

Koopa angrily watched them drive after Ness and Pikachu.

Link and Yoshi
1st for 7:00 PM Flight

"We're on the flight!" said Yoshi. "We need to just edge out the kid, just like the others!"

"How is that even allowed? Only one is even a human!" said Yoshi.

"Let's sue if we lose!" said Link, running onto their plane.

"Like we will, we're the luckiest team ever!" laughed Yoshi.

Ness and Pikachu
Last for 7:00 PM Flight

"We're last to get the tickets," sighed Ness. "We're screwed..."

"Don't think like that!" said Pikachu, "We're still around, and it's the fifth leg! Why, don't such a pessimist, because we still have the bike, and...and..."

Pikachu burst into tears.

"You're right, we're screwed!" cried Pikachu, tears hitting the ground.

"All teams now have a flight to Corneria!" said Koopa Troopa. "The flights land an hour after departure!"

"On the 4:30 Flight, is Mewtwo and Lucario, Roy and Snake!"
"On the 4:45 flight is teams Toon Link and Jigglypuff, Marth and Ike & Falcon and Ganondorf!"
"On the 7:00 flight are teams Link and Yoshi, Ness and Pikachu!"

"Once the flight lands, teams must go to the Center of the city and take the clue on the top of the building!" said Koopa Troopa.

5:30 PM
1st Flight Landed

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"We need to find the building in the exact center of the city!" said Roy.

"We want to beat the Twins to the mat secretly," said Snake angrily. "They're now jerks, and Mewtwo, the nice one, is a total jerk now!"

"So we're gonna try to beat them to the mat!" said Roy.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 2nd Place

Lucario ducked to avoid a knife, and then he dialed a number.

"Hello?" came the voice on the other end. "Is this my lawyer?"

"Victor! How long will that stupid drug, TBSAR, be in effect?" asked Lucario angrily.

"Lucario? Oh, Uh, yeah, about that..." said Victor nervously. "It takes 6 hours for it to get out of one's system..."

"Where are you, the connection is very, very good!" mused Lucario.

"I'm in Corneria City Jail," said Victor angrily.

Lucario noticed the sign above him that read 'Corneria Jail'.

"How convenient," said Lucario, hanging up.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Hop on an elevator!" said Roy, as their car parked.

Snake paid the taxi driver, then the two of them ran out of the parking lot.

"We're gonna definitely have to take an elevator," mused Roy. "We're really far ahead of the other six remaining teams!"

"Yeah, the Twins got held up somehow when they landed!" said Snake, going inside.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently breaking the law

Lucario tossed a saw blade inside Victor's cell.

"OW!1" said Victor angrily, the saw hitting him.

"That's for calling me senile," said Lucario angrily.

Victor ignored the comment, and began sawing the bars on his cell.

Lucario left him, and went back to the taxi where Mewtwo awaited him.

5:45 PM
2nd Flight Landed

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 3rd Place

"We are really freaked out by the Frats," said Toon Link, running out the airport terminal.

"I think they're crazy!" said Jigglypuff, puffing up and passing Toon Link.

"There's little time, the Swordsmen are coming!" said Toon Link.

Marth and Ike
Currently in 4th Place

"Beat the kids out the airport!" yelled Marth, passing Toon Link.

"I think I see the Frats coming from behind!" replied Ike.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 5th Place

"THERE'S THE OTHER TEAMS," said Falcon.

"WE SHALL GO THE SHORT WAY" said Ganondorf, jumping out the glass window in the terminal.

"OOPSIE DAISIES" said Falcon, as the Frat boys landed in a taxi.

"TAKE US TO THE BUILDING WITH THE POINTY TOP!1" said Ganondorf, bleeding from the glass.

"THEY ALL HAVE POINTY TOPS, DUM-DUM" said Falcon, also bleeding.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Roadblock!" read Roy. "Who is good with heights?"

"In a roadblock, only one person per team can perform it!" said Koopa. "In this roadblock, the one team member must go where the ropes are and an instructor will help them put on equipment! Once they have done this, they must scale down the building they are on top of and they will receive their clue once they make it down!"

"I'll do it," said Snake.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 2nd Place

"The second flight is out, so we are not stuffing up," said Mewtwo, musing.

Their taxi drove along towards the building in the middle of the city.

"What if we-" started Lucario.

"Shut up," said Mewtwo, elbowing the psychic jackal.

"I know, what if we-" started Mewtwo

"Are you going to suggest the same idea as me? Because that's so unorigina-"

"This is for copying my phrase," said Mewtwo angrily, ripping Lucario's ear off and choking him with it.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 3rd Place

"I THINK WE BEAT THE OTHERS" said Ganondorf.

"THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO GET A TAXI LIKE WE DO" said Falcon.

Their blood was up to their shins.

Marth and Ike
Currently in 4th Place

"We need to beat the kids at getting a taxi," said Marth desperately.

"Hail a taxi!" said Ike, doing the hitchhiker symbol.

"They're gonna beat us if we don't hurry!" said Marth.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 5th Place

"We are having a taxi-hailing duel between Marth and Ike, we can't afford to have them beat us," said Toon Link.

"I thought we had no money," reminded Jigglypuff.

Toon Link banged his head on a pole.

"Doesn't that hurt?" asked Jigglypuff.

Toon Link bled on Jigglypuff.

"Meanie!" said Jigglypuff angrily.

Snake
On Roadblock

"Okay, I need you to show me how to strap this on," said Snake to the instructor.

"Fine," said the instructor, strapping him up.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"There it is up ahead," said Mewtwo, sniffing. "We have little time to waste."

"Think the others are not far behind?" asked Lucario.

The frats' taxi passed them.

"That answers your question," said Mewtwo angrily.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"OLOL LOOK ITS THE TWINS" said Ganondorf.

"I THINK THEY ARE MAD" said Falcon.

Marth and Ike

"Come on..." said Marth urgently.

"We see a taxi coming!" said Ike.

The taxi stopped.

"Ha, the kids are running to the building!" said Ike.

"They don't have any money, I think!" said Marth, ushering Ike inside.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 4th Place

"We have to beat the swordsmen to the tower!" said Toon Link, dashing.

Jigglypuff merely walked slowly.

"Go faster, don't you wanna win?" asked Toon Link.

"I am running!" said Jigglypuff angrily, waddling towards her partner slowly.

"You suck at it!" said Toon Link.

Jigglypuff glared angrily.

Snake
On Roadblock

Snake started to clamber over the edge.

Roy watched from below, glancing nervously above.

"I hope this is safe enough!" said Roy.

"It is," said a worker angrily.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"PARK THE CAR SO WE CAN GO" said Ganondorf.

"THIS IS FUN!1" said Falcon, running through security to get to the top of the building faster.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"Park the car," ordered Mewtwo to the driver.

"You killed him," said Lucario bitterly.

...

"Lucario, park the car," commanded Mewtwo angrily.

Marth and Ike
Currently in 4th Place

"We passed those dumb kids, they were going so slow!" chuckled Ike.

"We just need to catch up to the frats, they zoomed ahead," said Marth.

"Well, apparently we need to watch out," said Ike. "They say Corneria is going to be under attack!"

"Yeah, just like the producers to pick the location that's to be under attack," said Marth bitterly.

Producers

"How do they know?" asked Tabuu the producer angrily.

"Someone tipped us off!" said the other producer.

"Well, hopefully the last two teams will get in interesting situations to make up for it," said Tabuu.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 5th Place

"We have an invasion soon to happen in this freaking place," said Toon Link, "Yet the producers choose this place? They're doing this to boost the ratings, I bet!"

"It's 6:00 PM, we have two hours before the last two teams come out!" panicked Jigglypuff, "Where does the time go?"

"For once, I don't have a snappy comeback to make you look guilty for something," said Toon Link.

"I thought you better than this!" said Jigglypuff, bursting into tears.

Snake
On Roadblock

"I'm about halfway down," said Snake, scaling down.

"I see the Twins running inside!" called out Roy, "Hurry, Snake!"

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"THERE'S THE ELEVATOR" said Ganondorf, reaching the top of the stairs.

"I THINK WERE THE SECOND TEAM" said Falcon.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"Follow them," said Mewtwo, cursing as he tripped and fell down the stairs.

"I'm right behind them!" said Lucario, closely following the slower of the frats, Ganondorf.

"Don't let them get on the elevator alone!" grunted Mewtwo, pulling himself up.

Falcon ran into the elevator, followed by Lucario, then Ganondorf.

Mewtwo stumbled as he reached the top of the stairs.

The elevator doors closed, as Mewtwo approached and cursed.

Mewtwo focused his power and he correctly teleported inside the elevator.

An awkward silence followed.

"So..." said Lucario nervously, "All three of you are high, is that it?"

"ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND" said Ganondorf, punching Lucario.

Marth and Ike
Currently in 4th Place

"There it is, up ahead!" said Ike, pointing.

"We must be fourth, so we have to keep the kids behind us!" said Marth, looking behind.

"The kids have been extremely lucky, and even won a leg, we want to win our own, right about now." said Ike.

"We're not far behind the first two teams, so maybe we can beat them?" asked Marth.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 5th Place

"We have to run, Jigglypuff! Run!" said Toon Link, running.

Jigglypuff puffed up and flew past Toon Link.

"Show off!" said Toon Link angrily.

Jigglypuff ignored him.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Make your way to the local bar called 'Caruso Bar'!" read Roy, "There you shall find your next clue!"

"We must hurry, I see the Frats and Twins at the top," said Snake, balancing a sniper rifle.

Roy took it and threw it in the sewer.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," said Snake, on his knees.

Roy did an eye roll and dragged him away.

Falcon and Ganondorf

The frats jumped out of the elevator and ran over to the clue box.

"MAKE YER WAY TO LOS ANGELES" said Ganondorf.

"SILLY THATS A PAMPHLET" said Falcon, holding up the real clue. "JUMP OFF THE BUILDING TO RECEIVE YER NEXT CLUE"

They jumped off the edge without any harnesses.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"I'll do it," said Mewtwo. "After all, I'm the Mewtwo..."

"Uh, sure," agreed Lucario. "I'll go back down..."

"I mean, I'm in Brawl, after all," said Mewtwo, proudly.

"Uh...you're not actually...in brawl..." said Lucario nervously.

"WHAT? WHY THE CENSORED DID NO ONE TELL ME? ...That explains why every time I showed up at the meetings everyone was so awkward around me," said Mewtwo.

Lucario nervously took a few steps back.

Marth and Ike
Currently in 4th Place

"Park the car," explained Ike.

The driver did so, and the two swordsmen ran out with their bags.

The Frats landed in their taxi.

"TAKE US TO THE LOCAL BAR SIR" said Falcon.

The driver, shocked, hesitantly started the car up.

Marth and Ike

"It's 6:24, so we're in good shape," said Marth, as they walked through security and towards the stairs.

"I think the kids are still a good ways behind!" smiled Ike.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"Still...running..." said Jigglypuff, panting.

"Hurry up, the Swordsmen are not that far ahead!" said Toon Link, pointing to the building in the distance.

"Almost...there..." panted Jigglypuff.

Mewtwo
On Roadblock

Mewtwo quickly stuck on his gear and sped down the side of the building at an alarming speed.

"I am NOT being left behind by dullard Frat boys," said Mewtwo, fuming.

He saw the two Students in the distance, and fumed.

"Wait...I'll cause a little problem for them," said Mewtwo, cackling.

He thought for a moment.

"Wait...my telekinesis can't go that far!" cried Mewtwo.

Marth and Ike

"We see an elevator!" said Ike, pointing.

"Get inside it," said Marth, running.

"The kids will be here soon, we have to leave before they get here!" said Marth.

"I wish we could fly or teleport," sighed Ike. "Then we could just do that to the top instead of running!"

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

The two students crossed the street and ran into the carpark for the building they wanted to get to.

"We think it may be a height-involving task, so Jigglypuff, you'll do it!" said Toon Link.

Jigglypuff beamed.

"Uh...you can stop smiling now..." said Toon Link.

Jigglypuff beamed.

Mewtwo
On Roadblock

"I'm almost to the bottom," cackled Mewtwo, "Due to the fact I'm good with heights!"

He looked down.

"I want my mommy!" cried Mewtwo.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"There's the bar!" pointed out Roy, as he crossed the street towards it.

"We are so far ahead," cackled Snake.

"I think Mewtwo's recently become a jerk," said Roy, "We definitely don't want him to win another leg. At least, as long as he is a jerk..."

"I hear the frats were acting weird also!" said Snake, opening the door to the bar.

They approached the counter where the bartender was.

"Clue, please!" smiled Roy.

The bartender handed them the clue.

"I wonder if Mewtwo's far behind..." mused Roy.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"Done," cackled Mewtwo evilly, landing on the bottom and teleporting out of the harness and up to the person with the clue.

The person nervously handed over the clue.

Mewtwo walked away.

"Phew," said the worker.

Mewtwo teleported back, untied the man's shoes and teleported inside the car.

"HOW EVIL!1" said the worker, sobbing.

"Make your way to Caruso bar," read Lucario.

Marth and Ike

"Roadblock, you wanna do it?" asked Marth.

"Nah, I'll let you do it," said Ike.

"Okay," said Marth, walking up to the instructor and getting the harness on.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 5th Place

"There! The entrance!" cried Jigglypuff, pointing.

"Please let us by!" cried out Toon Link.

"Are you two part of the elementary school visiting the building?" asked the person in the toll booth, who charged people to enter.

Seeing the prices for normal people, Toon Link said, "Yes!"

"That's twelve dollars extra!" said the worker.

"NUEZ!1" said Toon Link and Jigglypuff.

"We're uh...workers..." said Jigglypuff.

"Where's your tag?" asked the worker.

A guy who worked in the building, died.

The students walked over and stole his card.

"See?" asked Jigglypuff.

"First of all, I saw you take his card, You look nothing like him, and thats his driver's license," said the worker angrily.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"Teams must now chug down a full shot of whiskey!" read Roy. "This may seem...simple, but once the drinks take effect, you're kind of screwed!"

"Let's do this!" said Snake, taking a glass and swallowing all of it.

Roy took one sip at a time.

...

Snake forced the rest down his dad's throat.

"AHDUGKDEFIEJF" said Roy, choking on the alcohol.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"I SEE THE BUILDING" said Ganondorf.

"HOW CAN WE CROSS THE ROAD WITHOUT BEING RUN OVER?" asked Falcon.

Ganondorf donned a Starfox costume.

He ran out onto the street.

He got ran over.

"OLOL I FORGOT THAT FOX IS NO LONGER POPULAR ANYMORE..." said Ganondorf, bleeding to death.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"Catch up to the frats again!" cried out Mewtwo.

"We're stuck in traffic, great!" said Lucario.

"I blame you for this!" said Mewtwo, pointing at Lucario, raising his hands.

"I'M SORRY, OKAY?" said Lucario, bursting into tears.

"..." said Mewtwo.

"I'm sorry about all those mean things I did to you!" said Lucario. "I really didn't mean all of it, I'm just jealous of you!1"

"Jealous?" asked Mewtwo.

"Yes! Jealous! You got into Melee, and I didn't! Then, you got voted 'Best Pokemon of the year', and I wanted to be Best Pokemon! Then, you got that essay you wrote in third grade, was published into that novel! See, I never accomplished anything as good as you!"

Lucario sobbed.

"That's nice and all, but...I was voted Best Pokemon of the Year?" asked Mewtwo.

Lucario nodded fervently.

"How did I not know this?" asked Mewtwo.

"That's because I- er, JIGGLYPUFF, she destroyed your award!" lied Lucario.

"How awful!" said Mewtwo, furious. "We'll get her eliminated for that!"

Marth
On Roadblock

"This is pretty...scary..." said Marth nervously, looking down.

"Don't worry! You can do this!" smiled Ike.

"Wait...I'm halfway down the building!" said Marth, "How can I hear you?"

Marth realized he and Ike were tied together.

"Uh...how did this happen?" asked Marth.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 5th Place

"Roadblock!" read Toon Link, "Who's good with heights?"

"I'll do it!" said Jigglypuff.

"Hurry, we can't let ourselves get behind!" panicked Toon Link.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"We're done!" smiled Snake. "Now let's go and get this leg over with, before the alcohol takes effect!"

"It'll take a while for it to take effect on us," mused Roy, "I'm older, and you're tall and muscular, so it'll take some time to take effect."

"Just our luck!" chuckled Snake.

"Make your way to Starwolf's Base!" read Roy. "Inside the hangar is the next clue!"

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"HAI GUYS I AM GANONDORF YUK YUK" said Ganondorf, walking up and taking the clue.

"WE CHOOSE TO YIELD GANONDORK" said Falcon.

"THIS IS A TASK SILLY" said Ganondorf.

"FORCE FEED WINE INTO YER TEAMMATES" said Ganondorf.

"cHUG cHUG cHUG" said Falcon, chugging the whiskey.

"Chug Chug Chug" said Ganondorf, chugging the whiskey.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"We're almost out of traffic, though it's pretty huge." said Lucario.

"So, why did you never tell me that I won the award?" asked Mewtwo.

"Uh...I didn't...want to have your...feelings hurt...when Jigglypuff ruined your award..." said Lucario uncomfortably.

"How nice of you!" said Mewtwo, smiling.

Mewtwo hugged Lucario.

Marth and Ike
Currently in 4th Place

"Make your way to Caruso bar!" read Marth.

"Come on, it's 6:47, we have about an hour and ten minutes until the last two teams are here!" said Ike.

"We think we can catch up with the other teams, at the detour," said Marth.

Jigglypuff
On Roadblock

"Almost to the bottom," said Jigglypuff as she merely floated slowly down.

"Drop faster!" said Toon Link.

Jigglypuff puffed less frequently, and he slowly fell faster.

"Faster, Jiggles!" said Toon Link.

Jigglypuff stopped floating altogether.

"Come on, faster!" said Toon Link.

Jigglypuff forced herself to go faster.

"FASTER!1" screamed Toon Link.

Jigglypuff used her side-b move, the punch.

"Uh...good enough..." said Toon Link.

Jigglypuff rocketed towards the ground, starting to catch on fire from the friction.

"You can...slow down, now..." said Toon Link.

Jigglypuff started to burn.

"I said, you can slow down now..." said Toon Link.

Jigglypuff turned black and started smoking.

"JIGGLYPUFF!1" cried Toon Link.

She hit the ground and made an indent in the pavement.

Toon Link sobbed.

"Yes?" asked Jigglypuff, randomly popping next to him.

"Never mind!" said Toon Link angrily. "Make your way to Caruso Bar!"

"Wanna know how I didn't die? huh? huh?" asked Jigglypuff, poking the angry and confused Toon Link.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Move, Snake! We can't let the alcohol take effect before we're extremely ahead of the other teams!" panicked Roy.

"I know!" said Snake angrily, hopping out the taxi and walking to the Starwolf Base.

"Then why are you walking?" asked Roy.

"Explain to me how we got here in one scene transition, when the other teams encountered traffic, huh?" asked Snake angrily.

"Are you trying to make the plot holes recognized to the viewers?" asked Roy angrily.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"WE SHALL BEAT THE TRAFFIC!" said Ganondorf.

"HOW?" asked Falcon.

"THIS IS HOW" said Ganondorf, opening the door to their taxi and running between the other cars.

Mewtwo and Lucario

The two Twins watched in disbelief at the high and now drunk Frats run through the traffic.

"I can't believe them...They're doing anything to win!" said Lucario.

"Those dullard Frats! We need to be that gutsy!" said Mewtwo.

"How?" asked Lucario.

"Well...I don't know, but the words 'Plastic surgery' come to mind!" said Mewtwo.

"That's for the body, not the mind," said Lucario.

Marth and Ike
Altean Swordsmen

"We're seeing traffic up ahead!" gasped Marth. "This is the first jam we've seen so far this leg."

"Maybe it'll clear up soon," sighed Ike, as they drove towards it.

"I just hope the kids don't come around anytime soon!" said Marth.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Students

"We're running on the sidewalk next to the road where the other teams are going," said Toon Link.

"Wait, is that what I think it is up ahead?" asked Jigglypuff excitedly.

"What?" asked Toon Link.

"Traffic!" said Jigglypuff.

"Yes, the other teams must have gotten caught in it!" cheered Toon Link. "Finally, some luck for us!"

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"This is pretty close," said Roy, "We got to make it to the Pit stop before we get drunk!"

"Oh no!" said Snake. "I just thought of something!"

"What?" asked Roy.

"I just realized that Frats are renowned for getting drunk! That means they might actually be focused enough to reach the mat first!" cried Snake.

"We can't let that happen!" cried Roy.

They went inside the hangar of Starwolf and took a clue from the clue box.

"Detour!" read Roy. "The Long way or The Hard Way?"

"A detour is a choice between two tasks!" said Koopa Troopa, "Each with its pros and cons!"

"In The Long Way, teams must get inside a Landmaster and drive it to Fox's base! Once there, they have to destroy the five poles creating a force field around the base! This may seem straightforward, but the hard part is learning how to control the Landmaster, and the long trip to the base!"

"In The Hard Way, teams must go to the command decks of the StarWolf base, and they must install a fake bomb there! This may seem really easy, but the hard part is knowing how to properly wire the bomb, and how to place it!"

"I say the Hard Way!" said Snake. "I can do that type of thing!"

"Good, we have a better chance of staying ahead and getting to the mat!" said Roy.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"I SEE THE BASE AHEAD!" said Ganondorf.

"BUT HOW CAN WE CROSS THE STREET WITHOUT BEING KILLED?" asked Falcon.

Ganondorf pushed Falcon onto the road.

Falcon was promptly run over.

"LA LA LA" said Ganondorf, passing Falcon's bleeding body and went up to the Starwolf base.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"Teams must now chug a shot of whiskey!" read Lucario.

"This won't be easy," said Mewtwo. "I mean, think of the brain cells I'm already losing from being high!"

"I'm used to this stuff, I'm a druggie, remember?" asked Lucario.

"Sure, but I'm not, so don't freak if I get a little wacko on you in a few." replied Mewtwo.

"I'll get us to the mat, brother, I swear it." said Lucario. "I can take the whiskey..."

Marth and Ike
Altean Swordsmen

"Dammit!" said Ike angrily, "I see the kids!"

"Where?" asked Marth.

Ike pointed to the two students running past the entire traffic.

"CURSES!" screeched Ike, shaking Marth crazily.

"We lost our small lead on them!" said Marth, in horror.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 4th Place

"Yes! I see a taxi, that must be a team!" said Toon Link as he and Jigglypuff ran past the Swordsmen and continued onward.

"I think we may be fourth!" said Jigglypuff cheerfully.

"It's 7:01, about an hour until the last teams arrive..." said Toon Link, glancing at the watch.

Roy and Snake
On The Hard Way

"We are making our way to the Command deck!" said Snake, dashing up the stairs with the bomb under his arm.

"I think there's still a little more time before we get drunk!" said Roy.

Snake waited for Roy to get inside the command room, and then got ready to place the bomb.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"DETOUr," read Ganondorf, "THE LONg WAy or THE HARd WAy?"

"I SAY PIE IT" said Falcon.

"THERE IS NO PIE IT" said Ganondorf.

Falcon used his Frat powers to summon King Dedede, who pied Ganondorf.

"SEE?" said Falcon.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

Lucario held his cup up, and quickly chugged the entire shot down.

"We have around ten minutes before it takes effect on someone my size," explained Lucario.

Mewtwo took his shot, and he looked at it nervously.

"Come on, we can get through this if you hurry!" said Lucario.

Mewtwo closed his eyes and tried to chug it, but only managed to splash it on his face.

Lucario chuckled heartily.

"DO NOT LAUGH AT ME," said Mewtwo angrily, the area around him shaking.

Mewtwo got a second shot and chugged it successfully.

"Make your way to Starwolf Base," read Lucario.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 4th Place

"There's the bar!" said Jigglypuff, pointing.

The two kids hid behind the car nearby, as they watched the Twins walk out.

"They're looking fairly dizzy..." said Toon Link.

Some Cornerian got inside the car they were hiding behind and started the engine.

The two kids tried to keep up with the car, but it sped away.

"Zounds! A team!" gasped Mewtwo.

"Teleport us!" said Lucario.

They teleported a hundred yards away.

"We can't let them stay ahead! Come on, Jigglypuff!" cried out Toon Link, running inside the bar.

Marth and Ike
Currently in 5th Place

"We're almost through traffic!" said Marth.

"We can see the Students scampering inside the bar!" said Ike.

"Come on!" said Marth, opening the car door and recklessly running across the street.

Ike was going to protest, but then he quieted himself and threw money at their taxi driver.

Roy and Snake
On The Hard Way

"Oh no," said Roy, feeling the alcohol to take effect, "I'm losing it! I don't think we'll make it!"

"Don't worry dad, I'm still sober!" said Snake, rigging the bomb.

"Did we passch?" asked Roy, his words starting to slur.

"Not yet! Come on, I just need to press this button, and..." he pressed the button. "...There!"

The instructor who had been watching them gave them their next clue.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Say, how long will the alcohol take to have effect on someone my size?" asked Mewtwo.

Lucario, an alcohol expert, sized up his brother.

He noticed his brother's skinny body and twig-like arms.

"Uh...not good..." said Lucario.

"What is it?" asked Mewtwo nervously.

"You'll find out...right...now." said Lucario.

Just then, Mewtwo got drunk.

"Wow, you're drunk and high!" laughed Lucario.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"We can make it, dad!" said Snake. "Make your way to the outside of Starwolf base!"

"Teams must now make their way back outside to the Starwolf base," explained Koopa.

"Caution, U-turn ahead!" read Snake.

"This is the second of five U-turns on the race! A U-turn is always after a Detour, asteams who choose to use their U-Turn powers can force any team behind them to backtrack and do the task in the Detour that they did not complete! Teams may only use their U-Turn powers once in the race, so they must decide when it's most advantageous to go for it!"

"I think we're thhhe bescht team evrerrr..." giggled Roy, clearly intoxicated.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On The Long Way

"WERE SO GOOD AT RACING" said Ganondorf, driving the Landmaster.

"OH, DID WE WIN?" asked Falcon.

They shot a building.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"Must not let the Frats beat us!" said Mewtwo, drunk.

"Calm down," said Lucario. "We must get to the hangar!"

"Hee hee!" giggled Mewtwo, using his psychic powers to lift Lucario in the air.

"I knEW this WOUld BE A BAd idea to GET a TELEKINesis user drUNK..." sighed Lucario, being shaken in the air from Mewtwo's telekinesis.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"Teams must now take a shot of whiskey for their next clue?" read Toon Link. "This is insane! We're only twelve!"

"Big deal, just take your shots if you want to pass," said the bartender.

"We'll be drunk within minutes, unlike the adults who will be sober much longer!" said Toon Link hysterically, "We won't make it to the Pit stop in time!"

"Why do you think we're doing this?" grinned the bartender.

Marth and Ike

"Teams must now take a shot of whiskey for their next clue!" read Ike excitedly. "This will assuredly make us get ahead of those dumb kids we've wanted to beat for forever!"

"Quick, the kids are scared of the idea! We must hurry and do it!" said Marth, panicking.

"Why so worried?" asked Ike, chuckling.

"I don't drink," explained Marth nervously.

"Oh," said Ike, insantly worried.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"Just need to...go down these steps..." said Snake, puffing, as he carried his father on his back.

He started to feel the effects of the alcohol.

"No! Must concentrate!" said Snake, forcing himself to keep moving forward. "Mustnt...lose...focus..."

Falcon and Ganondorf
On The Long Way

"YEAAAAH," said Ganondorf, the whiskey now taking effect.

"I FEEL SCHIZOPHRENIC, BABY" said Falcon, his two eyes facing in different directions.

They shot randomly, due to the alcohol, and they managed to hit only one of the five barriers.

"WE CAN DO THIS! I THINK!" said Ganondorf.

"I DONT THINK I CANT" sobbed Falcon.

"THAT MEANS YOU CAN, SILLY BILLY" said Ganondorf.

"THEN I CAN!" said Falcon.

"HUZZAH," said the frat boys in unison, shooting a second barrier pole.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"Detour!" read Lucario, "The Long Way or the Hard Way?"

He turned to Mewtwo.

"What do you think, Mewtwo?" asked Lucario.

Mewtwo was giggling to himself, tripping on purpose.

"The Hard way it is..." sighed Lucario.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

Toon Link nervously held his shot and looked between it and the camera.

He imagined what Lucas, his fellow classmate, would say.

'Toon Link you chicken, take the shot!' Lucas would have said.

Toon Link quickly chugged the shot.

Jigglypuff looked at hers.

"Do it!" panicked Toon Link, "I just took mine! We have to get to that pit stop before we get the effects of the alcohol!"

Marth and Ike

"Quick, chug yours so we can beat the kids there," said Marth angrily.

"You're the one still chugging!" said Ike angrily.

...

"I really think you're a bad influence for me," said Marth angrily, chugging his. "I've gone crazy since I've been hanging around you!"

Roy and Snake
At the U-Turn

"We're...here..." said Snake, struggling with the shot in his system.

They stepped onto the mat.

"We choose...not to...U-Turn anyone..." said Snake, forcing himself to focus.

He opened the clue from the clue box.

"Make your way...to the pit scchhtop...Foschhh's Houschhh..." slurred Snake, gasping.

"Teams must now make their way to Fox's House!" said Koopa Troopa, "This will be a problem for two reasons: the place is not known to the public, to avoid the eye of the media! And, because of that, teams who are bad at navigating will have a problem! This is the fifth Pit stop in the race! Last team to arrive here may be eliminated!"

"Must focus..." stressed Snake, stepping off the mat and going for a taxi slowly.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"WE ROCK THE SOCKS" said Falcon, showing socks on his feet.

Ganondorf hit the socks with a guitar, the socks flying off.

"SEE?" said Ganondorf.

"MAKE YER WAY TO THE UTURN MAT AND UTURN SOMEBODY" read Falcon.

Mewtwo and Lucario
On The Hard Way

"We just need to...do a few more wires!" said Lucario, frustrated.

"This IS THE BOMB!1" giggled Mewtwo, rigging the bomb to actually explode.

They received their next clue due to Mewtwo's intoxication.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"Make your way back outside!" read Lucario. "Warning, U-Turn ahead!"

"I LOOOOVE BEING UTURNED!1" said Mewtwo, eyes spinning in different directions.

"I think we're second!" said Lucario gleefully.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 4th Place

"Why won't you drink it?" asked Toon Link desperately. "We have only 30 minutes until the flight with the last two teams comes out, and you won't take this shot and we're gonna be beaten to the mat by the swordsmen and we're gonna be laughed at so WHY WON'T YOU DRINK THE SHOT?"

"It'll make my pee look funny!" sobbed Jigglypuff.

"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH IT?" asked Toon Link.

Toon Link force-fed Jigglypuff the rest of the shot.

"Make your way to the Starwolf Base, and go to the hangar!" read Toon Link angrily.

Marth and Ike
Currently in 5th Place

"We're done too!" said Marth, taking the clue.

"Come on, just follow the kids there!" said Ike.

"We need to not let ourselves get beat to the Base!" said Marth.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"WHERE IS THE BASE?" asked Ganondorf, hitting Falcon with the guitar.

"ASK THAT GUY" said Falcon, pointing to the civilian.

"WHERE IS THE UTURN MAT" asked Ganondorf, hitting the civilian with the guitar.

"Over there! I saw a mat!" cried out the worker, "Don't hurt me!"

The civilian nervously led them to the U-Turn mat.

Mewtwo and Lucario

"I see the Frat boys! After them!" screamed Lucario, pointing.

Mewtwo teleported to the Frat boys and shook their hands.

"HI MY NAME IS THE MEW2" said Mewtwo incoherently. "CAN WE JOG WITH U GUYS"

"NO, WE DO NOT LIKE UR KIND WE MUST UTURN U ACCORDING TO THE RULES" said Falcon angrily.

Lucario ran past them, to get to the other side.

Marth and Ike
Currently in 4th Place

They ran on the sidewalk, and saw Starwolf base not far away.

"I see two other teams!" said Marth, horrified.

"Catch up to them, there must be a task ahead!" said Ike.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 5th Place

"We can't let them beat us," said Toon Link, muttering. "We have to beat them there...must beat them..."

"I think we're almost done!" beamed Jigglypuff.

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"Take us...to Fox'ssss housdch..." coughed up Snake.

"...Yeah, I don't know where that is," said the taxi driver. "I'll look it up on my handy dandy laptop..."

"Please do...by the way, if you take us there and lead us to a mat with a Koopa there...I'll pay you...when I am schhhober..." said Snake, losing focus.

He handed the taxi driver a bundle of money.

"Sure, pal!" grinned the taxi driver, looking up Fox's house eagerly.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Falcon and Ganondorf

"We musccht beat them Lukkkario..." said Mewtwo, drooling.

"You're really out of it, all of you," said Lucario. "Fortunately for all of us, I'm still sober!"

"NOT ANYMORE OLOL" said Ganondorf, forcing twelve shot's worth of Whiskey down his throat.

Marth and Ike
Currently in 4th Place

"Detour!" read Marth frantically, "The Long Way or The Hard Way?"

"Long Way, we can just barely beat the kids if we successfully navigate to Fox's base!" said Ike.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 5th Place

"We're doing good!" said Toon Link running inside StarWolf base and running inside the hangar.

"Detour, The Long Way or The Hard Way?" read Jigglypuff, having beaten Toon Link to the clue box.

"Hard way, closest to us!" said Toon Link, seeing Marth and Ike hopping inside the Landmaster.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"I CAN SEE MYSELF IN THE MIRROR!1" screamed Mewtwo.

"I EAT MY CEREAL USING A VACUUM CLEANER" said Falcon.

"OH, sorry, I left my GOLD STARS AT HOME" said Ganondorf, pasting tulips on Lucario.

"I thought we ditched you guys!" said Lucario angrily. "And where is that freaking U-Turn mat?"

Marth and Ike
On The Long Way

Behind the Twins and Frats, Marth and Ike's Landmaster rolled out of the base and headed to StarFox's base.

"There's the two teams!" said Ike, "they're done with the detour!"

"I think we can just barely catch up if we hurry!" said Marth.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
On The Hard Way

"Look! a Spy!" said Toon Link, pointing through the glass window down below in the hangar.

"Where?" asked the worker, turning away.

Toon Link took Snake and Roy's bomb and switched it with their defective one.

"Look, done with the task!" chuckled Toon Link, taking their next clue.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Completed Detour

"Make your way back outside of the Base!" read Toon Link, "Warning, U-Turn ahead!"

"We can U-Turn the Swordsmen!" said Jigglypuff, "Come on!"

Marth and Ike
On The Long Way

"There's the base! Fire right now!" said Ike angrily.

"We can't! We're almost drunk and we're too far away!" said Marth.

"Who can help us?" cried the Swordsmen.

Meta-Knight came out of nowhere and manned the turret.

He shot all five poles and took off.

Marth and Ike
Completed Detour

"Make your way back outside of the base!" read Marth, "Warning, U-Turn ahead!"

"We can U-Turn the Students!" said Ike, "This way!"

Roy and Snake
Father and Son

"I found where the place should be!" grinned the Taxi driver, "This way!"

The taxi finally drove off, towards the supposed location of Fox's House.

Behind them, was the U-Turn mat.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Falcon and Ganondorf
Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"We're all together again?" said Jigglypuff.

"Longtime no see!" grinned Mewtwo, "I love you... ... ...r shirt!"

Falcon, Ganondorf and Mewtwo chuckled drunkenly.

"I'm still sober?" asked Lucario.

"I LOVE SLEEPOVERSS!1" screamed Jigglypuff, foaming at the mouth.

"Wait!" said Falcon, regaining soberity, "We're supposed to U-Turn someone!"

"Wait!" said Mewtwo, still drunk, "Jigglypuff had destroyed my award! We'll U-Turn you!"

"Wait!" said Jigglypuff, just now drunk, "We need to U-Turn the Swordsmen!"

"Wait!" said Lucario, "Where's the Swordsmen anyways?"

They all saw a Landmaster in the distance.

They all started sprinting like crazy towards the U-Turn mat.

At The U-Turn mat
7:45 PM Local Time

Falcon, followed by Toon Link, Mewtwo, Lucario, Ganondorf and Jigglypuff, ran towards the mat.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff just got drunk, and only Ganondorf and Mewtwo of the three to get high before was still drunk/high.

Lucario tripped Ganondorf, and passed Mewtwo.

Mewtwo teleported onto the mat, but Ganondorf threw the guitar at him, knocking him away.

Toon Link and Falcon got on the mat.

"I have such a bad migraine...what have I been doing?" asked Falcon, rubbing his head.

"You don't remember?" shrieked Toon Link, drunk. "I ADMITTED MY DISLIKE FOR YOU!1"

Lucario ran onto the mat.

Jigglypuff slowly waddled towards the mat, but out of nowhere the Landmaster driven by the Swordsmen ran her over.

The Landmaster stopped just inches from the mat.

Toon Link tackled Falcon off the mat, and Mewtwo got on the mat, cackling evilly to himself.

Lucario kicked away Ganondorf, and reached for the mat.

Ike landed on Lucario when he hopped out of the tank.

Ike walked onto the mat.

Marth got rolled on by Jigglypuff, who was bleeding.

Toon Link and Falcon rolled onto the mat.

Lucario got up and sweep-kicked the oncoming Marth off his feet, then stepped on the mat.

Jigglypuff touched the mat, beaming proudly.

Marth crawled onto the mat weakly.

Ganondorf ashamedly hit the mat.

"Seeing as all three of you other teams are annoying, rude and have not exactly been nice to us," said Lucario, "However, we have decided to choose one of you to U-Turn!1"

Everyone looked onward.

"We choose to U-Turn... ...The Frat Boys." said Lucario, pasting the Frats' picture on the U-Turn board.

"We're in this!" said Lucario, opening the clue.

"Make your way to the pit stop, Fox's house!" read Lucario. "Great, I don't know that that exists!"

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 3rd Place

"Make your way to the pit stop, Fox's house!" read Toon Link, slightly sober again. "We have to find where this plaschh is!"

"I WANT MAT! I WANT MAT!" said Jigglypuff, foaming at the mouth drunkenly.

"This is why they made us drink the whiskey!" said Toon Link.

Marth and Ike
Currently in 4th Place

"Make your way to the pit stop, Fox's house!" read Marth, starting to get drunk. "I can feel the effecshhj..."

"At least I'm still superbly superificiously stupendously not still very very drunk like you, scchhee?" said Ike.

"OH NOES" said Marth and Ike, gasping.

Falcon and Ganondorf
U-Turned

"We don't remember anything..." groaned Ganondorf, rubbing his head, "Of what we've been doing!"

"We have been racing correctly, apparently!" said Falcon, pointing out their picture on the U-Turn mat.

"We have to do a detour!" said Ganondorf, "We've been U-Turned!"

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"NUEZ!1 TOO MUCH LOVE!1" cried Pichu, whose wrists had been cut, and he was bleeding on the floor, "And right in the middle of my depression time!"

Pichu curled into a ball and whimpered.

"See? Just press the button, and your wishes come true!" said Kirby and Quinn cheesily.

"You can order an Anti-Emo box for 19.99! Call today at 666-777-8888!" grinned Kirby, "Call or else we'll send our terrorist friends to blow up your house!"

They posed, as Pichu sat there crying.

Falcon and Ganondorf

"We have to do a detour!" said Ganondorf, "We've been U-Turned!"

"We got to hurry, the others are going to the Pit stop!" cried Falcon, as he searched through their past clues.

"Hmm...nope...nope...here, a drinking task?" said Falcon. "And we were too high to enjoy it!"

Falcon burst into tears.

"Here, it's a Detour! The Long Way or The Hard Way!" exclaimed Ganondorf, showing a clue.

"Okay, we have to do the other one we didn't do before!" said Falcon.

"But which one?" asked Ganondorf.

"I gotta guess...the Long Way!" said Falcon.

"Let's hurry then..." said Ganondorf, both frats clutching their heads as they walked away, back to the hangar.

High-pitched string music played, showing that they had chosen the wrong side of the detour that they had not already done.

Roy and Snake
Currently in 1st Place

"It's 7:49, here's the place!" said the taxi driver, smiling.

Snake was asleep.

"Great, how will they get to the mat now?" asked the taxi driver angrily.

He opened the taxi door and dragged Roy inside the house.

"Now for the younger guy!" said the taxi driver.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Twin Brothers

"We have to find the location!" said Lucario, as he and Mewtwo sat in the taxi. "Oh no, I feel drunk...here it comes..."

"I LIKE MANICURES!" grinned Mewtwo, already drunk.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Students

"I must focus and find the location!" said Toon Link, heavily affected by the alcohol.

"Oh, I must not be affected to alcohol by much!" beamed Jigglypuff, "By convenient circumstances!"

She realized Toon Link was still drunk.

"Oh no! I have to do the work!" said Jigglypuff, starting to cry, "Because Toon Link is still drunk, and he does the work mostly!"

She saw a taxi.

"Wait! Since we only have this small amount of money, we couldnt use a taxi unless it was important! But since its the pit stop," mused Jigglypuff, "I should use it!"

She hopped in.

"Do you know where Fox's house is?" asked Jigglypuff sweetly, "I need to go there!"

"I don't know where that is!" said the taxi driver.

"I know! See those two taxis? Just follow the one who takes off first!" explained Jigglypuff, pointing to the Swordsmen and Twins' taxis.

Marth and Ike
Altean Swordsmen

"We have to find the location before the kids or the twins!" said Ike desperately, "Where is Fox's house?"

"I don't know, it doesn't exist on this map!" panicked Marth, sweating.

"We're screwed unless we solve where the location is!" said Ike.

Falcon and Ganondorf
U-Turned

"There's the Landmaster, get inside!" said Ganondorf. "We have to finish this in time!"

"I see the three teams sitting in taxis," said Falcon, rubbing his head, "We still can catch up!"

"I'm turning the Landmaster on!" said Ganondorf, turning it on.

8:02 PM
Last Flight Arrived

Ness and Pikachu
Currently in 6th Place

"We're finally here!" said Ness dramatically. "After so long!"

"We have little time to spare," said Pikachu wisely, "We have lots of money, so just keep using taxis to most of the location so we can stay ahead!"

"Good thinking, I'll call for a taxi, you tell me when you see the lawyers!" said Ness, going for the pay phone a distance away.

Pikachu nodded and watched for them to come out of the terminal.

Link and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"We're last, as usual," said Link, "Though we're confident about beating this pair...its a kid and a stuffed animal, for cripes' sake!"

"Yeah, we can beat him," chuckled Yoshi heartily, "Just like the Flight Attendants, Uncle and Nephew and Rivals!"

"Let's get caught up with the other teams, I hear Corneria is soon to be invaded!" said Link, "The locals are going to be forced out of the city, so we need to hurry out of here!"

"We actually barely got into Corneria," mused Yoshi, "Our flight had just gotten half way there when the transmission to come back to Mushroom Kingdom had signalled!"

Mewtwo and Lucario

"Got to find it before the other two teams!" said Lucario, feeling the alcohol to start taking its effect, "this is cutting it close!"

Mewtwo was still drunk, talking to himself maniacally, not being any help.

"I can just barely get us to the mat before it's too late!" said Lucario.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"I just wish one of the teams would find it soon!" said Jigglypuff, handing more money by the minute away, "We only have two more minutes' worth to sit in here!"

"You could just stand outside," said the worker somewhat angrily.

"No! The seats are more comfortable in here!" said Jigglypuff angrily, handing him a dollar to be quiet.

Marth and Ike

"I found something," smiled Marth, "There's a group who stalk Fox! How fortunate!"

They looked at for all their stalkertastic needs and found where the house was.

"Great, copy and paste it, and print it so we can leave!" said Ike smugly.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On The Long Way

The Frats drove the tank towards StarFox base, ready to finish the task.

"We have to finish this, we had been so close to winning a leg this time, apparently," said Ganondorf, depressed.

"Maybe we should get high more often!" said Falcon, "Maybe we'll place better!"

"Yeah!" said Ganondorf. "But wait! There's only two packets left, and Mewtwo has them!"

"Maybe one of us can convince Mewtwo, he's a wuss," said Falcon.

"But he's still high, like we were!" said Ganondorf. "We'll never get to them when he's in that condition..."

The Frat boys grumbled as they approached the task.

Ness and Pikachu
Currently in 6th Place

"Okay, I got us a taxi!" grinned Ness, "We have to wait outside for it!"

"We have plenty of money, so not to worry!" said Pikachu.

"Here come the Lawyers, let's scram!" said Ness.

Link and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"There's the kid! After him!" said Link, pursuing Ness.

"We have to keep up to him!" said Yoshi, following with the bags.

"We're definitely the last two teams, so let's stay ahead of them at all times!" said Yoshi.

Marth and Ike
Currently in 2nd Place

"Go!" said Marth to the driver. "And step on it, we need to lose a pair of taxis!"

They had been behind the Students and the twins' taxis, so they reversed and then went forward, while turning, leaving the two teams behind.

Mewtwo and Lucario
Currently in 3rd Place

"Follow that taxi!" said Lucario dramatically, now fully losing his control over the alcohol.

"WE'RE GONNA BEAT THEM AND WIN!1" said Mewtwo, the effects now going away.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 4th Place

"Follow the taxi that reversed!" cheered Jigglypuff, "The chase is on!"

"We're losing them!" grunted the driver, trying to turn. "The other taxi following is cutting us off!"

"Dammit!" said Toon Link.

"Gosh darnit!" said Jigglypuff.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On The Long Way

"We're missing!" said Falcon, going into tears, "We're screwed!"

Ganondorf hit a second one.

"We can't quit now, dawg, stick to the end!" said Ganondorf dramatically.

Ness and Pikachu
Currently in 6th Place

"There's the Building at the center of the city!" said Ness happily, "We can do this!"

"The Lawyers, we left them behind!" cheered Pikachu.

"I think we're gonna own them," smirked Ness coyly.

Link and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"This is end! THIS IS THE END!" screamed Yoshi.

"Yoshi," said Link, annoyed, "We're not even half way through the leg!"

"I was practicing for when the epic part comes." said Yoshi.

Link forced the reader to scroll back up the page and pointed out the drunkenness fight at the U-Turn.

"I MEANT OUR EPIC PART! ASSUMING WE HAVE ONE!1" cried Yoshi.

Roy and Snake

"Now, how to wake them?" asked the taxi driver. "hmmm..."

He got a bucket of cold water.

And poured it on Snake.

"Darn it, didn't work!" said the taxi driver angrily.

Marth and Ike
Altean Swordsmen

"There! We have two more blocks to cover!" said Marth. "We're almost there!"

"I bet we're second," said Ike smugly. "We're taking the lead, and maybe we can get second or first!"

Mewtwo and Lucario

"THIS IS SO COOL!1" said Mewtwo, making their seats spontaneously combust.

"I can't think straight anymore!" said Lucario, now also drunk, "I hate myself! Because we're gonna lose! And it'll be my fault!"

Lucario cried.

Toon Link and Jigglypuff

"We are so bad at this!" said Jigglypuff, in tears as they were left behind.

"I am trying my best!" said the taxi driver angrily.

They drove off a cliff.

"I'M HAVING A BAD DAY, OKAY?" screamed the taxi driver crying.

"I'M HAVING A WORSER DAY THAN YOU!" screeched Jigglypuff.

At The Pit Stop

Roy and Snake were unconscious, 40 yards away from the mat in Fox's back yard.

"Now what?" asked their taxi driver, hearing the roar of an engine.

Marth and Ike's taxi parked in front of Fox's house and hopped out, as Ike payed the driver.

"Let's go to the mat!" said Marth, smiling...drunken...ly...shut up.

Mewtwo and Lucario's taxi hit the fence right next to the Swordsmen, and the Twins drunkenly hopped out, intoxicated.

Mewtwo stumbled over to Marth and girlishly slapped him.

Ike drunkenly staggered after Lucario, who tried to get to the mat in time.

Roy conveniently, obviously not to make the moment any more tenser, woke up with the worst migraine imaginable.

Ike tripped and accidentally caught hold of Lucario, both falling down.

Mewtwo, dizzily stepped past, pushing against the walls nearby for support as he made his way to the mat slowly.

Roy tried to drag his heavy son onto the mat, but with no luck.

Lucario drunkenly tried to get up, but fell back down.

"This'll bring our records up!" chuckled Koopa happily to the greeter of Corneria as he watched the three teams' efforts to get first.

Roy tried to shake his son awake.

Ike got up and rolled Lucario, literally, away, and stumbled forward.

Screaming could be heard as the engine of a taxi roared.

Roy looked tiredly up, and widened his eyes in horror to see a taxi.

It landed in the tree that was 20 yards from the mat.

Roy got out a bucket, and filled it with water, and... ...started to beat Snake with it.

Toon Link's unconscious bleeding form fell out of the open taxi door in the tree.

Ike landed on the mat, breathing heavily. Koopa stared, raising an eyebrow like Phil-er, Koopa usually did.

Mewtwo landed on top of Ike, panting.

Ike tried to push him off.

Jigglypuff hopped out the taxi cheerfully.

"Hi, my names Matt!" said a random guy, walking up to the racers.

"MAAAAAAATT" screamed Jigglypuff, tackling Matt.

Lucario got a lamp pole and beat Marth who was walking by with it.

Toon Link was tossed onto the mat by Jigglypuff.

Lucario, with surprising accuracy for one who was intoxicated, threw the Lamp at Jigglypuff, successfully knocking her a great distance away.

Snake regained Consciousness, and reached for the mat.

Roy touched the mat.

Ike crushed Snake's hand just before it touched the mat.

Marth rubbed his broken nose and crawled towards the mat.

Mewtwo and Ike, the only ones on the mat, began to have a fist fight, drunkenly.

Lucario was 10 yards away from the mat.

Snake went to reach for the mat one more time.

Marth got on his feet and made his way for the mat.

Jigglypuff floated towards the mat, Toon Link on the mat, unconscious.

Lucario was 6 yards away from the mat and closing the distance.

Snake was inches away from touching the mat.

Marth tackled Lucario, and their bodies went flying directly towards the mat.

Marth and Lucario hit Ike and Mewtwo, respectively, off the mat.

Jigglypuff was above the mat, and she made herself drop.

Snake was a centimeter away from the mat.

Ike threw the bucket, and by freak chance, hit Snake's hand away from the mat.

Mewtwo scrambled back onto the mat, followed by Ike, Lucario, and Marth.

Jigglypuff was still dropping.

Snake was still trying to touch the mat.

"...Team Mewtwo and Lucario, you're team number one!" said Koopa. "And your prize is this small piece land! Which is Fox's, but no one likes him, and his popularity has gone down the drain!"

"Welcome to Corneria!" smiled Peppy Hare.

"ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAND" said Mewtwo and Lucario, drunk but grinning.

"..." said Koopa and Peppy.

"Marth and Ike, you're team number two!" said Koopa.

"We almost won! Almost won!" sobbed Marth, going into tears.

Jigglypuff was still slowly dropping down.

Snake was still reaching out to touch the mat.

Jigglypuff landed on the mat.

Roy forced Snake's hand to touch the mat.

"Teams Toon Link and Jigglypuff, Roy and Snake, you're team numbers three and four, respectively!" smiled Koopa.

"Yay, our third third place!" cheered Jigglypuff.

"Our worst performance yet," groaned Roy, rubbing his head. "We had been in first so long, and now we screwed up right at the most important part!"

"I hear that you, Toon Link and Jigglypuff, have a money problem," said Koopa. "How much longer will you be in that danger zone?"

"We used all our money at the race to the pit stop! So we have zero dollars again!" said Jigglypuff, dumping the wallet to show there was nothing in there.

A Cosmo magazine fell out.

"Uh...uh...your Cosmo magazine...fell out..." said Koopa.

"It's not mine! It's Toon Link's!" said Jigglypuff.

Everyone stared.

Marth and Ike
After-leg Interview

"We're depressed that the Twins beat us to the mat, but next leg we're gonna beat them to it!" said Marth bravely. "Nothing will stop us!"

Toon Link and Jigglypuff
After-leg Interview

"I think we need to teach the Twins a lesson!" said Jigglypuff angrily. "They were mean to us! So that means they need nice lessons!"

Roy and Snake
After-leg Interview

"We made our worst leg today...but we're not afraid. We've not gotten lower than fourth! So we're going to stay in the top all the way to the finish line!" said Roy.

Falcon and Ganondorf
On The Long Way

"It's 8:18, we're left behind," sobbed Falcon. "We had done so well when we were high, yet we weren't able to enjoy the lead we had!"

"We have one more pole to shoot...before we're done, dude," said Ganondorf, "So let's finish and get to the mat."

"I forgot who U-Turned us, man..." said Falcon.

"We can see who on the way to the mat, this wasn't a blind u-turn dude..." said Ganondorf.

Ness and Pikachu
Currently in 6th Place

"Roadblock! Who's good with heights?" read Ness. "You are!"

He threw Pikachu off the edge, without a harness whatsoever.

"Pikachu never gets hurt, no matter the challenge!" explained Ness to the camera, "It's weird, whenever he falls from huge heights, he barely gets a scratch!"

Ness ran back down the stairs to retrieve their clue.

Link and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"We're almost to the big building in the middle of the city!" said Link.

"The sun is setting," said Yoshi.

"Darn it Yoshi, be more dramatic! We've only made it this far because we're so popular! Entertain the watchers!" said Link angrily.

"I say one somewhat serious line, and you yell at me? I don't think we can be friends," said Yoshi angrily.

"That's right, be dramatic! Bring in drama!" said Link.

"And we're never being friends again!" said Yoshi, walking away.

"Perfect Yoshi, perfect!" said Link, clapping. "This is just what we need!"

...

"Yoshi? Yoshi, where are you?" asked Link.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Completed Detour

"We're done! We need to go back to that U-turn mat!" said Ganondorf excitedly, "Dude, we're still in this!"

"There, let's get to da mat, dude!" said Falcon, posing.

They stumbled back towards the mat which was a mile away.

Ness and Pikachu
Currently in 6th Place

"Pikachu! Hey! I made it down!" smiled Ness, walking up to the Pikachu.

"I can't believe you did that!" sobbed Pikachu, crying.

"Oh relax, man, you never get hurt!" chuckled Ness, wagging a hand.

"Make your way to the local bar, Caruso Bar!" read Ness.

Link and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"There's the kid!" said Yoshi excitedly. "We caught up!"

"Good luck finishing the Roadblock! Ha ha you suckers!" laughed Ness, running past them.

"Roadblock? How did he finish a roadblock that fast?" asked Link, confused.

"Doesn't matter, let's just go!" said Yoshi, "We need to do this roadblock!"

Falcon and Ganondorf
Currently in 5th Place

"Make your way to the pit stop, Fox's house!" read Falcon.

"Alright, dude, we're almost to that pit stop. We need to find where it is!" said Ganondorf wisely.

"Taxi!" said Falcon, hailing a taxi.

Ness and Pikachu
...Best Friend?

"Take us to Caruso bar!" exclaimed Ness happily.

The taxi driver turned and looked at Ness funny.

"Uh...a bar?" asked the driver.

"Yeah! Me and my friend Pikachu here, we're on a race, see! So we need to go to this bar!" said Ness.

"I don't think I should say anything..." muttered the driver nervously.

Link and Yoshi
Lawyers

"We are almost to the top!" said Link, waiting inside the elevator.

It opened and the Lawyers ran out, towards the clue.

"You know, last season, I watched the episode where they came here to Corneria, and they went to this same building, too!" chuckled Yoshi.

"Yeah, yeah, just hurry and let's finish this," sighed Link.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"Okay, search it on some stalker site, we can trust them to follow Fox!" said Ganondorf.

"Thank god for stalkers!" said Falcon.

They noticed they were being followed by a taxi.

"I take that back, stop them god!" cried Falcon, hiding in the seat.

The other taxi

"Why won't they stop?" asked Slippy Toad, confused. "All I want to do is give them the money they dropped a while back!"

Ness and Pikachu
...Best Friend?

"We have to be there quick!" said Ness to the taxi driver, "I pay more to the guys who get there fast!"

"You payed me three pennies!" said the taxi driver.

Ness gave puppy dog eyes to him.

"Like that'll change anything," said the driver angrily.

Ness gave puppy dog eyes to him.

"Uh...you can stop that now..." said the driver.

Ness gave puppy dog eyes to him.

"Seriously, you're not being convincing..." said the driver nervously.

Ness gave puppy dog eyes to him.

"Okay! Okay, fine, I'll take you there!" said the driver angrily.

"Yay!" said Ness and Pikachu, buckling up.

Link and Yoshi
Lawyers

"I'm doing the roadblock..." said Link, getting on his harness.

"The kid's taxi is just now taking off!" said Yoshi, watching the best friends with a binoculars.

"Good, we're starting now!" cheered Link, starting to scale downwards.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Fraternity Brothers

"Great! I found the location!" said Ganondorf. "It's 8:30, so we can get there by 8:35!"

"Good, my head hurts man," said Falcon.

"Mine too, I wanna take a nap so bad..." said Ganondorf, rubbing his head.

"Driver, follow this map to Fox's House!" exclaimed Falcon.

Ness and Pikachu
Currently in 6th Place

"We're almost there, I can almost see it!" said Ness, "The bar!"

The car quickly approached there, going down the street towards it.

"We're so far ahead of the Lawyers!" said Pikachu happily.

Link and Yoshi
Completed Roadblock

"We finished the roadblock, let's go!" said Link, landing down.

"Make your way to the local bar, Caruso bar!" read Yoshi, who took the clue as Link was unstrapped.

"We're speeding through this!" said Link happily, getting unstrapped.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Arrived at the Pit Stop

"There it is!" said Falcon, pointing.

The two Frat boys hopped out of the taxi and ran towards the house.

They opened the door, and left a muddy trail through the house.

"I'm hungry!" whined Falcon, running into Fox's kitchen.

He came back out, having eaten all in the pantry.

"I'm good," said Falcon, following Ganondorf onto the mat.

"Falcon and Ganondorf, you are the fifth team to arrive," said Koopa Troopa.

Falcon and Ganondorf frowned.

"However, you have not followed the clues exactly," said Koopa.

"What did we do?" asked Falcon, going into tears. "We didn't do it on purpose, we were high, darnit!"

"Uh...you actually did something that has never actually happened before," mused Koopa, "you're the first team to do the same exact side of the detour when you were U-turned..."

"Dammit!" said Ganondorf angrily.

"I need to know how long your penalty is..." said Koopa, surfing through the rule book. "We can't find it...my assistant is telling me it will be a one hour penalty!"

"Oh noes!" said the racers dramatically.

"It started thirty seconds ago, go sit down over there on that bench." said Koopa.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Penalized: 0:59:21

"We sure screwed up..." said Falcon ashamedly, "And we even made the mistake when we were sober!"

"Maybe we can nap now!" realized Ganondorf.

They began to take shifts in naps.

"I don't understand half the teams..." sighed Koopa, shaking his head.

Ness and Pikachu
Currently in 6th Place

"Teams must now drink a shot of whiskey for their next clue?" screamed Ness.

"We have to get drunk for our clue!" said Pikachu excitedly.

"LAY IT ON ME!1" yelled Ness, holding out a shot glass.

The bartender stared at Ness weird.

Link and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"Almost to the bar," said Yoshi. "We are two blocks away!"

"I think we're doing good, we may be right behind that kid!" said Link.

Ness and Pikachu

"Oh yeah, baby!" said Ness, chugging the whiskey whole.

He noticed Pikachu wasn't drinking his.

"Why aren't you drinking it?" asked Ness angrily, "We need to stay ahead of the other team!"

"I can't!" said Pikachu.

"Oh, this excuse again?" asked Ness.

Ness force-fed Pikachu the stuffed animal the whiskey shot.

Link and Yoshi

"Teams must now drink a shot of whiskey for their next clue!" said Link. "Sweet, the kid'll be easy to beat at this!"

Ness ran past them, carrying Pikachu.

Yoshi and Link grunted angrily.

"Shots, please!" said Link.

They got two glass shots.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Penalized: 0:46:03

"Little time has gone by," said Ganondorf, as Falcon took the first nap.

...

"Sure is quiet here." said Ganondorf.

Ness and Pikachu
Currently in 6th Place

"Make yer way to Starwolf base! In the hangar is your next clue!" read Ness. "Come on, let's do thisch!"

"I think we're doing very well!" exclaimed Pikachu, following Ness to the best of the abilities that a stuffed animal could.

"There'scch little time Pikschacschu!" said Ness drunkenly.

Link and Yoshi
Lawyers

"HIYA!" said Link, chugging his shot down.

He turned to Yoshi.

"Well, chug yours down so we can leave!" said Link angrily.

"No, I'll take it one sip at a time!" argued Yoshi.

He took a few sips.

Ness and Pikachu
...Best Friend?

"Almoscht there..." said Ness, staggering forward on the road.

Cars swerved to avoid hitting him.

"Made it!" said Ness, grinning. "Wait...Pischkacschu?"

He looked around and saw Pikachu on the other side of the road.

Ness angrily (and drunkenly) got out a leash.

He walked back to Pikachu, cars barely missing him, then put the leash on Pikachu.

"Schtupid Pischkaschu..." grumbled Ness angrily.

Link and Yoshi
Lawyers

Yoshi took a sip.

...

Yoshi took another sip.

...

Yoshi took another sip.

...

Link sneakily took the shot and drank the rest quickly.

"Uh...we're done!" said Yoshi.

"Make your way to Starwolf base, there in the hangar you will find your next clue!" read Link.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Penalized: 0:36:55

"Our penalization is almost halfway through, so we're hoping the other teams don't catch up..." muttered Falcon, who was the one who wasnt napping at the moment.

...

"Can I go to the bathroom? I gotta pee," said Falcon.

"First room on the left," sighed Koopa.

Falcon ran in.

He came back out a minute later.

"I'm good," said Falcon.

Water seeped out of the house and got to his feet.

"Uh...you left the water running..." said Koopa.

"Oops!" laughed Falcon, running back in to turn it off.

Ness and Pikachu
Currently in 6th Place

"We are doing schooo well!" smiled Ness, stone drunk.

They took the clue, Pikachu still on a leash.

"Detour, The Long Way or the Hard Way?" read Pikachu. "Dang, you're drunk and both tasks are gonna be hard...I say the Hard Way, though."

"Hard Way it issch," said Ness, smiling.

Link and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"We've made it this far, surely a kid won't beat us due to the alcohol...?" said Link nervously.

"We can do this!" said Yoshi, running across the street randomly like Ness did.

He got run over.

"NO WE CAN'T!" cried Yoshi, bleeding.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Penalized: 0:33:10

"We got here at 8:40, so we can check in by 9:40!" said Falcon simply. "We haven't seen the last two teams yet, maybe we're still in this!"

"We will, believe me!" said Ganondorf dramatically.

...

"What if we don't, and we get eliminated?" asked Falcon.

"DONT RUIN THE EPICNESS!1" said Ganondorf angrily.

Ness and Pikachu
On The Hard Way

"We're moving onward," grinned Pikachu, "almost got these cords in!"

"Almosccht...done..." muttered Ness incoherently, sticking in cords at the random.

"We think the Lawyers will show up at any given moment, so we need to hurry!" said Pikachu.

Link and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"We need to catch the kid!" said Link desperately.

"But how can we cross this dangerous road?" asked Yoshi, pointing to the road.

Link threw a soda can.

It got run over the instant it hit the road.

It then flew back and belted Link in the face.

"Wow," said Yoshi.

"I have an idea!" smiled Link, face bruised.

Five minutes later...

"I feel silly," said Yoshi, dressed as a giant orange cone.

"Relax, I saw professionals do this once," chuckled Link.

Yoshi realized something.

"This wouldnt happen to be from Toy Story 2, now, would it?" asked Yoshi, horrified.

"Yes!" said Link, running across the road in the same suit as Yoshi.

Yoshi watched as Link was narrowly missed several times.

"Maybe I'll be lucky like that too!" lamented Yoshi thoughtfully.

He ran onto the road.

And was run over.

"I'm smaller than you," explained Link.

Yoshi bled to death.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Penalized: 28:55

"We're slightly more than halfway through our penalty!" said Falcon. "I think we can make it!"

"Of course we're gonna make it!" said Ganondorf angrily, "Dude, you gotta believe in yourself!"

Falcon cried.

"I'm such a pessimist!" screamed Falcon, goring Peppy Hare to death.

Koopa Troopa and Ganondorf stared nervously.

Ness and Pikachu
On The Hard Way

"Almoscht done," said Ness, smiling stupidly as he added more wires in quickly.

"We're about done!" said Pikachu nervously, looking behind.

Ness hooked a wire to Pikachu.

"What are you-"

Ness started the bomb.

"AAAAAAHHHHH!1" screamed Pikachu, desperately trying to take the wires off of him.

Link and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"Detour! The Long Way or The Hard Way?" read Yoshi.

"I totally say the Long Way, my green friend," said Link.

"I find that offensive," said Yoshi angrily.

"What are you gonna do, shoot me?" laughed Link.

Yoshi shot Link so hard that he died. Yes, both of them.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Penalized: 26:09

"We're ticking it down, no teams have appeared, and we have twenty six minutes left!" said Falcon, relieved.

"I'm not worried dude," said Ganondorf.

"Yeah, the last two teams are so far behind!" said Falcon.

Ness and Pikachu
Completed Detour

"Yeesch, I gots it!" said Ness drunkenly, taking the clue and cheering.

"Make yer way back outschide," read Ness. "Warning, U-Turn ahead!"

"Come on, we could totally U-Turn the Lawyers if needed!" said Pikachu.

The two Best Friends walked out.

Link and Yoshi
On The Long Way

The two hopped inside a Landmaster and drove towards Fox's base.

"Wow, someone decimated a few buildings!" said Yoshi, shocked. "Must've gone psycho or something!"

"I think we need to be careful around the competition, this looks terrible," said Link nervously.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Penalized: 17:45

"We have seventeen minutes left, and no teams have shown up!" said Falcon, posing. "I have faith that we're still in this now!"

"Seventeen minutes, thirty seven seconds and counting," said Ganondorf, looking at his watch.

"HYEZ!" said Falcon, posing.

"We sure screwed up this leg, I just hope we get to catch up to the others dude," said Ganondorf.

Ness and Pikachu
Currently in 6th Place

The Best Friends ran towards the mat in an epic fashion.

"We choose to U-turn the Lawye-aw man, we already used our powers! After all the epicness, too!" said Ness angrily.

"Actually, this wasn't very epic," sniffed Pikachu.

Ness ignored him and opened the next clue.

"Make your way to the pit stop, Fox's house!" read Ness, "Last team to check in, may be eliminated!"

Link and Yoshi
On The Long Way

"There's Starfox base!" pointed out Yoshi.

"You know, we're really boring, we need more drama," said Link, aiming.

"Oh, what, this again?" asked Yoshi angrily. "We don't need drama! Drama is a distraction, we'll get caught up!"

They shot one of the poles.

"Oh yeah? I happen to think it's a good idea," said Link angrily, turning to Yoshi, firing wildly.

He shot another one.

"Yeah, I think it's lame," said Yoshi angrily, taking the controls, shooting wildly.

Yoshi hit two more poles.

"I don't think so!" said Link angrily, glaring at Yoshi.

They shot the last pole.

Link and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"Make your way back to the entrance of Starwolf," read Link angrily, "Warning, U-Turn ahead!"

"I think you're stuck up," said Yoshi angrily.

"I don't like your attitude," said Link angrily.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Penalized: 8:12

"Eight minutes left, twelve seconds," called out Ganondorf.

"No teams! This is great!" smiled Falcon.

"The teams have been here for an hour and thirty minutes, plenty time to get to the whiskey task..." lamented Ganondorf.

"And maybe, just maybe, the Detour!" said Falcon.

"Yeah, they can't be any further than that," said Ganondorf.

Ness and Pikachu
...Best Friend?

"We have to find Fox's house!" said Ness.

"Okay, there's little time to-" said Pikachu before someone walked up.

"Aw look, little baby has a friend!" said some random bully evilly.

"Oh noes, my arch enemy!" said Ness.

The bully stole Pikachu the stuffed animal.

"I'm taking your toy, baby!" said the bully, cackling evilly.

"NUUUUEZ!1 I Need him to function...to win the million dollars!" said Ness desperately, having a nervous breakdown.

"So...he's worth lots of money?" gasped the bully.

"Uh...no..." sweated Ness nervously.

"See ya!" said the bully, running off with Pikachu.

He ran inside the house that had been 100 yards away.

"Battle strategies!" called out Ness dramatically, putting on a paper hat.

He huddled by himself, and starting talking to himself.

"Operation: Rescue shall take place now!" said Ness dramatically.

He walked up to the house and rang the doorbell.

"Hello?" asked some random parent.

"Hahhaha!" cackled Ness, running inside.

"What the...?" said the parent angrily.

Ness looked around quickly.

"Where is he?" asked Ness angrily, searching around.

The parent grabbed him and threw him out.

"Curses!" said Ness angrily. "Plan B..."

Link and Yoshi
Currently in Last Place

"We can't U-turn anyone, so..." said Link, taking the clue. "Make your way to the pit stop, Fox's house..."

"We're at the end! Hurry!" said Yoshi nervously, running forward.

"I feel a footrace coming up..." said Link sheepishly.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Penalized: 3:00

"Three minutes!" said Ganondorf, "Three minutes left!"

"We're doing great!" said Falcon, "Still no sign of the other teams!"

"We can do this," said Ganondorf shakily, "We're still in this!"

Ness and Pikachu

"Girl scout cookies!" called out Ness.

The parent opened the door.

Ness ran in, cackling evilly.

He quickly looked around.

"Where's my friend?" asked Ness angrily.

He was thrown out.

"Curses," said Ness angrily.

five minutes later...

Ness walked up to a side window that was open and... ...used his bat to smash it.

Ness jumped through the window and landed in an empty bath tub.

"Zounds, I must find my friend, no matter the cost!" said Ness dramatically.

Link and Yoshi
Currently in 6th Place

"Taxi!" called out Link.

"Find this place!" said Yoshi, pointing to the clue.

"I dunno where that is," said the taxi driver.

"Oh noes, we're awful at navigating! We're gonna lose!" said Link, horrified.

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"Don't buy it! It's a-" Kirby muffled Pichu who had ran in.

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Pichu was squirming, being tied up.

Link and Yoshi

"We're awful at navigating! We're gonna lose!" said Link, horrified.

"This may get us eliminated!" said Yoshi, shocked.

Falcon and Ganondorf
Time Penalization Complete

"Falcon and Ganondorf, your penalty is over," said Koopa.

They hurriedly stepped onto the mat.

"Falcon and Ganondorf, you're team number five," said Koopa Troopa. "Seems like you've had a rough time."

"We sure have, we made mistakes when we were sober, and we devastated our rep with the other teams, dude, but we're hanging in there..." sighed Falcon.

"I think we're lucky, and we can makes it to da finish line, dudes!" said Ganondorf optimistically.

Link and Yoshi
Currently in 6th Place

"We have terrible navigational skills! We're doomed," said Link bitterly.

"Look up Fox's house, it has to be somewhere!" said Yoshi inspirationally.

"I think we're done for!" said Link.

Ness and Pikachu

"Must...find...Pikachu!" said Ness furiously, jumping into the kids' room.

He hid under the bed in time as the bully walked into his room.

"I think I'll sell the stuffed animal on ebay!" said the bully thoughtfully.

"Dirty swine," said Ness angrily.

"Hmm, I'll go look things up on Ebay now, and leave this stuffed animal right here for the next twelve minutes, completely unsupervised!" said the bully.

"Yes," said Ness.

"Maybe I'll take it with me to the bowling alley!"

"No," said Ness.

"Or leave it here?" said the bully.

"Yes," said Ness.

"I'll leave it here!"

"Double yes," cheered Ness.

The bully walked out.

Ness grabbed Pikachu and jumped out of the window, secret-agent-in-a-movie style.

Link and Yoshi
Currently in 6th Place

"We need to find Fox's house, and fast!" said Link, horrified, "There's little time to waste!"

"This is so tense and nerve wracking!" cried out Yoshi.

Ness and Pikachu
Currently in Last Place

"I think we can still make it, come on Pikachu!" smiled Ness.

"Maybe the Lawyers still aren't done!" said Pikachu hopefully.

"Run and ask the local over there where Fox's house is!" said Ness hurriedly.

Link and Yoshi

"Come on, we have to find the place before that kid!" said Yoshi hysterically.

"Must find Fox's house!" screamed Link, foaming at the mouth.

Ness and Pikachu

"Excuse me! Where's Fox's house!" said Ness.

"Being a stalker sure has its advantages!" smiled the man. "I'll lead you there!"

"Huzzah!" said Ness and Pikachu.

They followed him inside a house.

...

...

Ness and Pikachu ran out, screaming like little girls.

Link and Yoshi

"Click that site, right there!" said Yoshi, panicking. "We are almost there!"

"It says the next block! Let's go!" screamed Link.

They threw out their taxi driver and hit the gas.

Ness and Pikachu

"We're lost, we need a taxi," said Pikachu.

"Look! A taxi!" said Ness, pointing at the Lawyers' taxi, "Surely the safe drivers won't hit us because we're cute, and-"

The taxi hit them, and Ness hung onto the hood of the car for dear life with Pikachu.

Link and Yoshi

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!1" screamed Link, Yoshi, Ness and Pikachu, seeing each other.

The car swerved left and right, narrowly missing other cars.

They got closer and closer to Fox's house, and then they crashed through the house.

At the Pit Stop

Koopa the host watched as the Lawyer's taxi burst through the second floor, Ness and Pikachu screaming as they flew off the hood.

Pikachu landed on the mat, but Ness landed in the tree that had the Students' taxi in it.

Link and Yoshi swerved and hit the backyard fence.

Ness started to climb down the tree.

Link and Yoshi, bleeding, tried to unbuckle.

Ness hopped down the tree, spraining his ankle.

"OW!" said Ness angrily, clutching his ankle.

"Come on!" said Pikachu angrily.

Link hopped out of the car, Yoshi was stuck.

Yoshi called for help, and Link drew his sword, and started hacking the seat out.

Ness started crawling to the mat, which was 17 yards away.

Link continued to hack the seat with his sword.

Yoshi angrily pointed to the seat belt.

Link ignored him, and finished hacking the seat.

Ness crawled closer to the mat, lessening the distance to 10 yards.

Ness went underneath the taxi, towards the mat.

Link carried Yoshi's seat, struggling with the weight.

Yoshi merely shook him off and stood with the seat tied to him, by his seatbelt.

Ness covered more ground, leaving 6 yards.

Link ran onto the mat.

Ness crawled, having 3 yards to go.

Yoshi fell flat on his face, the weight of the seat becoming too much.

The taxi next to Yoshi blew up and flew into the sky.

Ness had less than a yard to go.

Yoshi swished out his tongue.

Ness reached out to touch the mat.

Link kicked Pikachu off the mat.

Ness touched the mat.

The taxi crushed Yoshi, stopping any movement of his.

Link grabbed Yoshi's tongue and forced it onto the mat.

"NUEZ!1" screamed Ness.

"Link and Yoshi, you're team number six!" said Koopa Troopa.

"We made it once again," breathed Yoshi with relief.

"Ness and Pikachu, You're the last team to arrive, and I'm sorry to say..."

"Unfair, I say!" said Pikachu angrily.

"Agreed!" cried out Ness furiously.

"...You've been spared this leg with a non-elimination, at a huge cost!" finish Koopa Troopa.

"Woot!" said Ness and Pikachu.

"Next leg you shall encounter a Speed Bump, an extra task that only you have to do, no other team has to do it!" explained Koopa.

"Curses," said Ness, fuming.

"We did good, eh, Yoshi?" chuckled Link.

Blood started to seep from under the taxi.

"Uh...Yoshi...you there...?" asked Link, chuckling nervously.

Yoshi didn't answer.

Finish Times:

Mewtwo and Lucario: 8:14 PM

Marth and Ike: 8:15 PM

Toon Link and Jigglypuff: 8:16 PM

Roy and Snake: 8:16 PM

Falcon and Ganondorf: 9:40 PM

Link and Yoshi: 10:33 PM

Ness and Pikachu: 10:34 PM

Well, now that we're at this part, I may as well get to the point! This is the part where you review, and tell me you liked it, whether or not you actually did!

So go and review, tell me your favorites, hates, who you shall think shall win, and don't forget to vote for your favorite teams on my profile poll!

Oh, and happy Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday day?