Part VIII

The crowd cheered. The judges sat indifferently within their seats and Unohana practically fanned herself with the overwhelming sales she racked in just a matter of minutes…

I internally prayed that this wouldn't erupt into something worse but Shunsui's relaxed expression—his sly nod, caused me to relax. I smiled warmly. He was going to make sure that things wouldn't go out of hand. Thank goodness

Nanao and Iba grilled each other with ferocious glances while Yachiru wept.

"What's a matter, Vice?" asked Ikkaku with a worried expression drawn over his face.

"Ken-chan said he ain't coming! Wahh!"

"Well, what can you do?" glitter flew sparking in the air after a casual flick of Yumichika's hair, "This is a disgusting contest after all… but I'm curious to see who shall emerge most beautifully as the victor," Yumichika hummed in that relaxed tone of his.

Captain Commander, Yamamoto calmly walked off from the center of the dojo to his seat. Gripping on the arm chairs he slowly very slowly began to descend his little tush to the chair. The room filled with silence as they waited and waited. A creak, a puff of relief and a few cracking backbones. He looked up like a faithful old dog and finally issued the words everybody was aching to hear:

"BEGIN!"

There was a period of silence in which the contestants grilled each other with intensified glances.

"Go first, booger girl!"

"What? Quaking in your shoes already, billy-goat?"

"Don't go hating on my goatee—at least I look like a man." Sentaro proudly traced his fingertips over it, "Calling yourself a woman you look more like an over-grown toddler."

"Ooooooh…." Cooed the crowd.

"Feh, oh please—that little string of hair? You just shaved it off of Captain Kyoraku's face and crazy-glued it to your chin."

A general laughter broke out. And Hitsugaya found himself smiling a bit, in spite of himself.

"It's called trimming. I trimmed it. Besides why would I want to look like gorilla?"

"He just called me…" Shunsui's voice trailed off.

"Hey—keep your comments directed at your opponent!" shouted Nanao. Shunsui appeared touched at her defense.

"Fuck off, bitch!"

A gasp from the crowd.

"Hey! You take that back douche bag!" Hissed Kiyone.

"Provoking Kiyone using bystanders as a scapegoat—clever," whispered Soi Fon. Mayuri yawned. He has yet to be peaked in interest by the third seats.

"Douche? You mouth looks like one," he mimicked her pouting mouth.

Kiyone was red up to her ears in embarrassment.

"What's a matter? Sentaro teased, "Can't take the pressure? Why don't you go run and cry to your sister?"

Isane bit her lip as she held her clasped hands close to her bust, "Nee-chan…"she cooed.

Kiyone's eyes closed as she tried to contain her anger. He's trying to provoke me, so then I won't think. That sleazy, two-timing… "For your information, blubber-butt, Onee-chan come to ME and cries on MY shoulder. I console her and in doing that, she consoles me. You can't possible understand a bond between sisters… Your mama gave birth to you and committed seppuku with just the thought of having another retarded ass baby looking like your fucking self—bitch."

"OOoOoOOoOoOooooOOhhh…" the crowd afterward when silent.

Note to self—don't talk about her sister, Sentaro though. He sweated nervously because now the pressure was on him.

"A little interesting, I suppose... this may aid my study on human behavior," sighed Mayuri nonchalantly.

"You're so stupid, you thought your bankai was, your shikai!" Sentaro shouted randomly.

"Aw, he lightened the mood," Gin sneered sadly, "I was hopin' they'd start killin' each other,"

Kira pretended he didn't hear that.

"Humph, you're so stupid, you trained your bankai to reach your shikai,"

"You're so constipated, that you had to release all your reiatsu, just to shit once in the toilet!" Sentaro jazzed, happy to receive a cheer from the audience.

"Oh yeah, you know a lot about that subject, you'd fart and tear a hole into Hueco Mundo."

Hanataro put his small hands on his behind, "That must really hurt..."

"You grease the floor and quickly slide down proclaiming you master shunpo!"

"Hollows feed off your body odor!"

"You play dress up with the Captain's clothes!"

"I-I do not!"

Silence.

She plays dress up with my clothes? Hmm... I did catch a sweet scent of woman's perfume on my kimono this morning...

Sentaro grinned evilly, "You're in love with our Captain!"

She flushed in a furious pink color, "So what if I am! That's nothing compared to your little shrine you keep of the Vice Captain Matsumoto, performing little seance dances and prick voodoo dolls."

"Voodoo dolls? I wonder if they work..." whispered Mayuri.

"That's better than wetting the bed at night."

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with wetting the bed—it happens to everybody!" Shouted Momo out of nowhere.

Everyone stared at her and Momo used her little hands to cup her mouth, "Oops, sorry…"

"Ugh...Momo…" grumbled Hitsu.

"Me? Wetting the bed? Can you tell the difference between your room and mine?" sassed Kiyone, "Go suck the piss off the sheets."

"Did you forget, I just saw you do that this morning—that's why you stink, ass-wipe!"

"Suck my couche!"

"Alright."

Kiyone stood in shock.

"No, wait, wait," Sentaro tried his best to not to smile as big, "You want the captain to do that wouldn't you?"

That was totally uncalled for.

He's trying to make me walk off stage, but there's no way that's gonna happen. She thought, her face burning with shame. She took a deep breath before throwing her comeback.

"Directing insults right to our captain? Shows where your loyalties lie, monkey-shit."

Sentaro took a step back in shock as if suddenly realizing what he did. He turned his head to Ukitake's direction and saw that the 13th captain had his gaze averted to the side directed towards the ground.

"C-c-captain!" I'm sorry captain!"

No response.

"End first half!" called Yamamoto Genryusai.

Nanao ran towards Kiyone.

"You were great! Keep it up," she cheered sweetly.

"I don't like this anymore—I feel so naked."

"Just bear it a little bit longer, there is so much riding on this!"

"I know, I know."

"You want something to drink."

"Yes, please."

Sentaro sat at a chair that Iba Tetsuzaemon provided, "Looks like you got your ass handed to you by that girl..." he breathed out in a sigh. He handed Sentaro a cup of tea. Taking it into his hands, Sentaro placed it on the ground at his feet.

Hate to admit, he though, but she's pretty amazing. He saw her smile as she talked excitedly to the girls at the other end of the dojo. Pretty cute too...wait a second... What the heck am I saying?

He shook his head throwing off the though. I just embarrassed the Captain big time.

Unohana paced up to the white haired captain who sat peacefully in his platform.

"A little more, I believe and it'll be over."

Ukitake smiled, "Where is all the money going?"

She returned his smile with her own, "For supplies and medication. Then there's the seminars for new members on important medical procedures. I'm expanding the infirmary area on the east wing and transforming the basement into an intensive care unit."

The 13th Captain raised his eyebrows in interest, "That's sounds wonderful, Retsu!"

"Of course, I'm hoping to have something left to buy clothes, make up and you-know-what," she smiled sweetly before walking off.

Ukitake visibly took on five different shades of red, "Retsu—uh err—wait!"

She calmly turned around and returned to his side.

"Here," he whispered. She felt his long thin fingers slip in a neatly folded letter. The same one his 3rd seats where unable to deliver. Taking it she discretely looked up to him, "I know it's late, but I don't have a messenger to deliver my letters..."

"Don't worry," she cooed tenderly, "I know the perfect person."

She walked off carefully putting away the letter and no one really noticed such transaction take place—all except for one fox-faced captain.

"A messenger eh?" he murmured playfully to himself.

Kira pretended to hear nothing.

Sasakibe Chojiro silenced the crowd, "Now we will have a word from our three judges."

He directed the crowd's attention to the three captain sitting at a small table.

Soi Fon was up first.

"Can't say who I favor and even if I did, I really wouldn't tell you."

Mayuri was up next.

"I'm keeping my personal opinions to myself but watching this has spiked my interest into conducting experiments on the effects insults have in the heat of battle. There can be a way weapons can be created this way."

Hitsugaya sighed resting his chin on folded hands, "Kiyone is always depending on Sentaro's statements, therefore riding on comeback as means of winning. Sentaro on the other hand is more creative, using different means of knocking down his opponent. But, he fails to keep a consistent footing and always falters. In other words—they're both tied."

After a few other comments and some half time entertainment. Sasakibe inciated the second round.

It turned out to be twice as fierce. Kiyone came back energized and Sentaro dealt with the verbal punches lunged at him. Mayuri's interest peaked and Soi Fon found herself involved as well. Towards the end, Sasakibe silenced the crowd.

"End match!" he called, "Now the judges will consult each other and dealt out a winner.

"Nice match," Sentaro muffled his smile by rubbing his nose.

Kiyone's eyes widened.

"We have come to a conclusion," Soi Fon declared, "The winner of this match is..."

Everyone held their breath, "Kotetsu Kiyone!"

The crowd threw themselves into a fit of cheers and cat-calls. Matsumoto nearly drowned Kiyone within her large bosom.

"Oh we won! I knew you could do it!" she cheered.

"Mmmphh!" she cried her arms flailing.

"Nee-chan!" called Isane, worried that her baby sis might suffocate.

Through the cheering Ukitake smiled at his male third seat.

Thank you. He mouthed.

"Oh no, Captain." Sentaro replied with much respect, "She won fair in square... I just realized something."

Ukitake smiled, "I'm glad you did, Sentaro..."

Kiyone had won that contest, but weeks afterward she forgot the point five increase to her rank. Sentaro didn't mind that she cooked better than he did, nor did Kiyone mind that Sentaro was the one always fixing the paperwork on my desk. However, their bickering still exists; I'm fine with that...

Women are a gift to men in this world. They come with so many extra things, so many complications—but that's what makes them delightful. They are both ranked 3rd strongest in my squad, for their strengths are equal. One as a man, and one as a woman. There qualities match to fill in that place in a way one single person could never do. Whose the Greatest? You ask? Sentaro? Kiyone? Whose the strongest? Whose the most beautiful? Whose the best, the most skilled? Whose number one in this world? Who knows? There's always one person picked, but the contest is always done over to pick a new number one... now why is that?

Perhaps there is no such thing, as the 'Greatest' the most 'Strongest' but human kind has that dire need to put even those those type of things in order... To back down to lose, is not bad, it is a victory in itself. To win is not bad either. To stand outside of whose better and whose worse, indeed that is true victory. That is true happiness. Sentaro learned and realized this. He saw through towards Kiyone's earnest and hardworking intentions, her feelings where nothing more than a noble shield protecting her honor. And in her, he saw a reflection of himself. His realization, his changed attitude towards the end, took away Kiyone's resentment towards him. Yes I'd say that Sentaro truly won that day...

Moral

Women are always right even if they are wrong

Oh my, did I put you to sleep? I hope you found my story worthwhile...

No, I'm gonna deliver it!

Get outta here, Pikachu!

Eh? Sentaro, Kiyone, what's the matter?

Quit calling me that, moron!

No-no-no! Please... don't tug it, you tear it! It's okay, I'll take it myself! Please—

(rips)

Uhh... it's Kiyone's fault!

What?

Author Notes

I died halfway into this last chapter. I found myself unable to finish it the way I really wanted. But I hope you liked it regardless. So far my fables really haven't been explaining the morals but I hope this one did (at least a little) The next one will be narrated by Matsumoto. Any other things you wanna ask me about this just PM me. Thank you.

-Zerolr-