True Loves First Kiss

Chapter 2

And so our dear little Fairytale Princess, who had her dreams dashed by her wickedly evil parents, went to sleep thinking ill thoughts of her future marriage to Prince James III. Now you are all wondering, will she marry this prick of a man, fall in love with him and have handsome babies together, well the answer is : I don’t know! I don’t write the story I just tell it, so hold your horses. What is it with everyone wanting to rush to the end to see if there’s a happily ever after?

So anyway, while our dear Princess slept all snugly in her queen sized bed, with purple drapes hanging around her and impossibly fluffy pillows that could sooth the savage soul, tucked gently beneath her head, her dearest jerk of a future husband was grinning evilly in his small servant quarters of a room. Now you are all wondering why a Prince is sleeping in the servant quarters; its simple really. His family really isn’t that rich. Prince James III, comes from a badly poor Royal family from a far away land. And no he’s not from Far Far Away or Far Far Farther Away. He’s from some distant Far Far Farther Still Away Land. So Far away that the King and Queen of Far Far Farther Away didn’t hear about his penny of a dowry. There’s only one reason a poor Prince would marry a wealthy Princess.

One word: Money.

That’s right, not only was our dear Prince a jerk but he was a gold digger. That bugger is worse then Prince Charming!

But at least there is a good third party! He may be poor and he may live in a swamp, and he may smell somewhat like dead animals, but he was a good guy. No matter how much he tried to be a good Ogre to please his dad. And he may just be an unnamed Heir to the throne of Far Far Away. That’s right if you guessed it, it is one of Shrek and Fiona’s Triplets! Dar oldest by four minutes.

Now he wasn’t the most fairest of all, in well , all the land. But! He had a kind heart beneath all that Ogre….Stuff. Even if it was rarely shown, he’s more of a closed off, hate the world Ogre who still lives at home with his mother, father and his two siblings. Yes he had grown up to be just like his dad before he met Princess Fiona. But enough about that, I bet you are all just dying to know who the other two of the triplets are! They are Daisy and Gar. They were just seconds apart, a tough labour all together for Fiona, but what a joy it had been. But of course neither Fiona and Shrek imagined how hard it was to have three eighteen year olds living in the house. Puberty must have been a real Bi…hassle. Now I bet you are all wondering what he is doing in this story. I can’t tell you! I actually skipped ahead to the end, but my lips are zipped, you all are just going to have to find out.

SO as the sun risen over the mountains in the east our fair pissed off Princess chucked the closet pillow in her grasp towards the singing bird on her window ledge. Did she hit the poor bird? No, it got out of the way in time. But the pillow did hit an unsuspecting guard stationed three floors beneath her window. with a sleepy huff she through back her blankets and stepped on to the fluffy white rug. She had a horrible sleep and was in a foul mood and her date with James this day wasn’t helping matters anyway.

“Mother wanted me to look my best” she said gazing into her impossibly large closet, filled with all kinds of patterns and colors of dresses, there were even some tunics and leggings in there. She smirked. “Then I’ll just have to look my best.” and so she stepped into her too big closet and got lost amongst the clothes.

Was it a man eating closet? No, it was just a packed to the brim closet, or dear Princess was a bloody pack rat.

“Princess?” came the hesitant reply of her lady maid. As the maid stepped into the room, her eyes widened at the lack of Princess. Now the maid was a fickle woman, she hated to think that she lost the Princess on her watch and then have to tell the King and Queen about it. Now that just wasn’t a pretty picture.

“Princess!!!”

“I’m in here, Lydia” came the muffled cry of Jenna’s voice from the really large closet.

“Princess what are you doing in there?” said Lydia as she set the platter of food she was carrying down on the Princess’ entable.

Jenna poked her head out and glared playfully at Lydia.

“How many times am I going to have to tell you to call me Jenna?” she said. Lydia blushed lightly.

“I’m sorry, Princ--Jenna”

“That’s better.” she said ducking back into her closet. “As to what I’m doing; I’m getting ready for my big date with Prince James the third” Jenna said his named with such distaste, even Lydia could taste the acid in her mouth.

As a matter of fact so can I! Man that girl knows how to hate. Ahem, sorry, back to the story.

“Now what should I wear, I have two choices” said Jenna stepping out of her closet. Lydia looked at them and her nose scrunched up in distaste.

“Prince--Jenna” Lydia quickly fixed the mistake as Jenna gave her a light glare. “ Those are the dresses your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great Aunt Beatrice, gave you.”

“I know..” smirked Jenna as she threw the dress in her right hand back into the closet.

And so our dear Princess started to get ready for her big date with Prince James III, who at this very minute was racing towards Far Far Farther Away on his great noble per-breed miniature Shetland Pony. His hair was doing the whole wave in the wind thing and he had this bright ass smile on his face. As if his horse couldn’t make him look any gayer….