Title: Birthday Bash

Summary: Jarod gives the Parker twins a present for their birthday.

Notes: Miss Parker played by icd. Mr Lyle played by Parker. Sydney, Broots, Jarod and any OCs were played by Tam.

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Birthday Bash

Chapter 9

The rest of the flight had been uneventful. He and Parker hadn't started fighting again, only exchanging a few words after Parker got the silly idea in her head that she wanted to see him try and walk on sand in heels - and pigs would be soon sucked into the engines of the plane - and as a bonus nothing more had been spilt in his lap. Lyle had dozed through the remainder of the flight, rousing periodically whenever they hit a small pocket of turbulence. Sleeping through the changing time zones was all he could really do to pass the time, and to help with the unexpected bout of jetlag they would be finding themselves with once they landed and had to begin Jarod's game again.

He roused faster this time when he sensed movement nearby, specifically in his lap, his eyes snapping open only to see Parker in front of him, fastening his belt. Well, that explained the movement he felt in his lap. There was nothing wrong with that... he didn't think. A quick glance at his watch explained the reason why: they should be landing soon. Straightening slightly in his seat, he pulled the seatbelt tighter. It was better Parker doing up his belt, than the stewardess getting the bright idea to do it, or god forbid, if she had the idea to wake him. He didn’t take kindly to being woken by strange people.

"Here we go. Stage two of Jarod's little game," he muttered, rubbing a hand over his face, mentally shaking himself awake. By the time they landed he would be fully alert... and in desperate need of a shower before they continued on to follow Jarod's breadcrumbs. There was no way Lyle was walking around in stained pants.

Lyle had dozed off, only waking a few times when they hit turbulence. Parker had decided to leave him be. As much fun as it was to torment her brother, sometimes it paid off to leave him be – and in some way, she had enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere between them. She only reached over to her twin when they were about to land.

First intending to wake him, Parker then thought better of it and shoved the small tray in front of his seat up before reaching for the seatbelt, fastening it. His eyes fluttered open, revealing crystal blue that was hazy with sleep and lacking understanding. Just a moment later, the haze cleared away though and the normal alertness was back.

Parker fastened her own seatbelt and glanced over when he spoke. “Don’t complain. You get out of this flying metal tube and can change… your pants for starters.”

Lyle wriggled slightly in his seat, grimacing when he still felt stickier from the brat's yogurt drink, if that was even possible. "Getting out of this metal tube is only considered a good thing if I'm able to have a shower before we resume playing Jarod's silly little game. Changing my trousers won't be enough," he muttered, resolutely turning his attention away from his discomfort. As soon as they landed, they would find a hotel - if Jarod hadn't already arranged one - and he would have a shower. Only then would they play Jarod's game.

She wasn’t in much of a mood to play Jarod’s game anymore today either. The travel on a commercial airline was far more exhausting than the privacy of the Centre jet. She agreed with Lyle that they would find a hotel first and only see about the rest later.

They once more fell silent, saying nothing as they waited for the plane to land. It was already beginning to descend, so it was obvious they wouldn't need to be trapped in their metal prison for much longer, which in itself came with mixed blessings: they would be free, but they would also be forced to endure what else Jarod had planned for them. And of course the cheerful fact that Lyle knew as soon as he switched his phone on, there would be dozens of missed calls from their father, undoubtedly in a rage about the fact ’he Centre's entire fleet was grounded.

As soon as the plane landed and they were taxied to the terminal, Lyle unbuckled the belt and stood from his seat with a sigh of relief. Now, they needed to collect their baggage, get a car - if there wasn't one waiting for them - and then they would find a hotel - if there wasn't one prepared for them - and Lyle would have a goddamn shower! He was in particularly no rush to switch his phone back on.

The joys of being in first-class: they left the plane first. They didn't have wait 20 minutes for the common element to get their asses in gear, grab their stuff and get out of the plane.

She wordlessly followed her twin out of the plane once the doors were opened, moving to reclaim their baggage. They didn’t have to wait long at the carousel, for once luck being on their side and bringing their bags out quickly – before people took too much notice in him continuously holding his jacket in front of his lower abdomen.

Smirking slightly, Parker led the way out of the baggage claim area and through the sliding doors. She glanced around and then lightly jabbed her elbow into Lyle’s side, nodding towards a young man holding a card with both their names. “Looks like we have a pick-up service.”

Before he stepped out of the privacy of the plane, he had shrugged out of his jacket and held it casually in front of himself, obscuring the stain on his trousers. He really had three options when it came to the annoying stain: Don't cover it at all, and have people stare and assume he couldn't feed himself without a bib. Cover the stain and have people assume he had an anatomic response that wasn't appreciated in public. And finally, he could cover the stain and hope the Gods were finally on their side and allowed Lyle to dive into a car quickly. Option three was the pick.

It seemed like the Gods were finally taking pity on them. They didn't have to wait long to collect their bags, and Parker's dig in the ribs drew his attention to the fact there was a car waiting for them. Someone upstairs was finally smiling at him!

"Looks like the stupid jerk has prepared for us properly, and hopefully there is a hotel ready for us." The hotel was all Lyle cared about now. He didn't care about the rhyme or reason behind Jarod sending them on this trip. He didn't care about the fact he would have his head ripped off the second Mr Parker could reach him. He just wanted a shower and clean clothes.

With their luggage, they left the terminal and approached the chauffeur who was holding the sign with their names.

"Welcome to Hawaii," the driver said cheerfully, and opened the door of the car for them. He put their luggage into the back, and got into the front seat. "I hope you enjoyed your flight?" he asked politely. There was a small plastic hula-girl on his dashboard, her hips with the grass skirt wobbling with every movement of the car.

They pulled up to a large beach resort, lined by palm trees. At the plaza in front of the entrance, a small crowd was gathered, consisting out of a group of hula dancers with flowers in their hair, a band with brightly colored shirts, and a throng of tourist standing around them taking pictures. But the dancers weren't dancing yet, nor was the band playing. They seemed to be waiting for something.

"It seems like your welcoming committee is already waiting," the driver said with a smile.

Lyle ignored the driver's question about the flight from hell. As soon as Lyle had a shower, he could start putting that nightmare behind him without having the mess of his trousers serving as a reminder every 10 seconds. He just needed to move a fraction for the unpleasant stickiness to remind him of its presence.

When they pulled into a large beach resort, Lyle was pleased that the stupid labrat had the sense enough to arrange for them to be taken to a hotel straight away.... but then he seemed to get stupid again with making foolish arrangements. Lyle narrowed his eyes at the gathered band and dancers in front of the hotel. The driver's words affirmed the uncomfortable twisting in his gut that warned him about the reason for the gathering. "When I find him, I'm gonna kill him," he growled under his breath. He wasn't going to run this particular gauntlet if he could find a little door marked exit. He then looked at the driver. "I'll give you $200 to get rid of them."

Parker watched the group of dancers suspiciously, biting back the groan upon the driver’s words. Whatever Jarod was planning, she was annoyed by it. Lyle beat her to saying anything and she nodded firmly in agreement. “No shows, we are tired and not in the mood for entertainment.”

The driver's eyes glinted. "Two hundred dollars? American dollars?" He got out of the car and opened the back doors to let his fare out. "I'll be right back." He stepped up to the Luau group, and talked to them in a hushed tone. He then returned to the car. "They just want to welcome you with traditional gifts of flowers," he said. "That's not so bad, is it?" He held out his hand.

Now, this was what Lyle liked, to be able to throw money at a problem to make it go away. He watched the driver move over to the group with a small smile on his lips. American currency was a language all of its own. Not having his gun within easy reach which was in his bag in the trunk, and not feeling like taking a hands-on approach of breaking bones, Lyle made do with what he had: waving money under their noses.

His smile faded when the driver returned... and the group was still gathered outside the car. Retrieving his wallet from his trouser pocket, he took out the $200 that he promised the driver, his eyes hardening when he caught the driver's gaze. "You get rid of them and we don't have to worry about how ugly this is going to get. We're tired, I'm cranky and I want a shower - get rid of them."

The driver nodded grimly. He went back to the dancers, ushering them off. The tourists, who had been hoping for a free show, booed at him, but left after realizing there really wasn't going to be any dancing.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience, sir," the driver said, tipping his hat at Lyle. He took their suitcases out of the car. "If there's anything else I can do...?" he offered, a greedy look in his eyes.

At least they got around this embarrassment… and Lyle was paying. Parker ignored the driver when he was becoming greedy, stalking past him towards the entrance. Once in the lobby, she took in the area – an upper class hotel, marble floor, tastefully decorated and a small artificial waterfall built into the wall on one side of the lobby.

Heels clicking on the floor, Parker made her way over to the reception desk. The woman instantly turning her attention towards her further supported the estimation of *upper class hotel*. “Hi, I believe that rooms have been prepared for us. Miss Parker and Mr Lyle,” she told the woman.

The only thing the driver would be earning himself now would be broken fingers if he didn't get out of Lyle's face. He got rid of the dancers, which was Lyle's only care now. He earned himself $200, so he should cut while he was ahead before Lyle lost his patience. Ignoring him further, he followed Parker into the hotel, looking around with a discreet sweeping of his eyes. It was probably too much to hope for that he caught sight of Jarod, hovering nearby, enjoying watching them suffer.

Lyle waited calmly for the woman behind the reception desk to see what numbers their rooms were. He wanted a shower before the continued Jarod's game, and then he would think about having a little nap.... before they turned their asses around and headed back to Blue Cove. Talk about too much effort for nothing!

"Yes, of course, Miss Parker. Welcome to Hawaii," the woman said with a dazzling smile, also nodding friendlily at Mr Lyle, and tapped their names into her computer. "Ah yes, you have the top floor," she said, loading two key-cards with the required codes to unlock the doors to two luxurious suites with a view of the beach. She folded them into small cardboard cards and put them out on the desk. "Now, if there is anything we can do for you during your stay, please let us know. There is someone at this desk at all times. Enjoy your stay." While she kept up the smiling facade, her fingers were already busily tapping away on her keyboard, writing a short message to her friend upstairs.

They are coming early - get out!!

She hit enter and loaded it to her friend's mobile phone. She was in the suites, laying out the presents Jarod had ordered. She should have had more time, but they had calculated the dance-routine into the timeslot.

Lyle grunted softly and snatched up the key-card from the desk. "Let's go," he muttered to his twin, turning away from the reception desk and headed towards the elevator. The top floor? Well, this was either going to be very, very good, or very, very bad. So long as there was hot running water in the bathroom, Lyle couldn't bring himself to care. Everything else was secondary until he was clean and he didn't need to strategically hold his jacket and bag in front of his trousers.

Parker snatched up her own key and followed her twin towards the elevator. The top floor… she shook her head, wondering what else Jarod had planned for them. Then again, he could have picked a worse hotel, so she had some small hopes that nothing would happen – for now at least.

Jarod hoped they would like his little surprise. He figured they deserved a good night in nice surroundings before heading back to their jobs - and chasing him. He had made the hotel staff leave two identical birthday cakes in the rooms; cream-fluff-fantasy with blue and yellow icing, made out to look like a beach, complete with marzipan palm tree. On Miss Parker's cake sat a Barbie doll in bikini, on Mr Lyle's cake a Ken doll in Hawaiian shorts. There were two envelopes lying on the table next to the cake. Inside were two Polaroid’s of Jarod, taken that morning, wearing his pilot's cap and grinning, posing with a fat wink at the camera. The date was printed on the back, together with a handwritten message:

"Enjoy your first family holiday together. ~J.

P.S. Happy birthday!"

The elevator opened to a long corridor, two doors at the end of it. Parker arched an eyebrow at that. Did Jarod indeed have the bright idea to have them on a private floor – and in separate rooms? She certainly hoped so.

Grunting at her twin, she swiped the card through the slot at her door, the electronic light beeping green and allowing her in. Parker stared at the electronic lock for several more seconds, not in the least feeling reassured by such a lock – at least not when Jarod had his hands in this game. Where had the good old days gone where you still had to insert a key into a hole to open and lock it?

Shaking her head, she then entered the room. Shrugging out of her blazer, Parker hung it up on the rack, passing the bathroom towards the bedroom. She groaned with a roll of her eyes upon seeing the cake on the table. Moving over, she snatched up the envelope. Opening it, a Polaroid fell into her hand. Parker barely suppressed the growl that threatened to escape… he had been in the damn plane? Flying it? Why didn’t they notice?

Turning the Polaroid over, Parker read the message before throwing the picture down. Yeah, and a happy birthday it would be, she thought sarcastically, stalking over to the sliding doors that led outside to a balcony.

The elevator ride up to the top floor was made in silence, and Lyle couldn't say he minded really. So they would have a floor to themselves, it raised one very important question: what had Jarod done to it? Would they find more balloons? Thousands and thousands of balloons filling their rooms? Or clowns? Lyle didn't like clowns, they irritated him. Oh, he knew... Jarod had made the rooms completely uninhabitable just to make sure they had a super holiday.

Reaching his room, he watched Parker disappear inside her room - they were neighbors, oh goody - Lyle turned the key-card over in his hand suspiciously. He had reason to be wary when he didn't know what other surprises would be waiting for him, wasn't in the mood for any more of the Pretender's jokes.

Sighing heavily, Lyle swiped his card and entered the room, looking around warily. No balloons, no clowns. Nothing but a cake - Ken doll? - and an envelope sitting on the table in the middle of the room. Muttering to himself, he threw the door shut behind him and went in search of the bathroom. A) He didn't have a death wish so he wouldn't be touching that cake, and B) whatever was in the envelope could wait until he was clean.

Inspecting his bedroom and bathroom - yes, the hot water worked fine - Lyle got a clean suit from his bag before disappearing into the bathroom. A shower would never feel so damn good!

After showering, already feeling infinitely calmer and more like his old self when he had clean clothes on, the shower helping with the effects of jetlag when he wasn't exactly sure what time it should be. Lyle approached the desk where the cake and envelope stood while he fastened his holster to his belt.

He snorted sharply at the Ken doll positioned in top of the cake in Hawaiian shorts - for starters, he wouldn't be caught dead in shorts as ugly as those - Lyle snatched up the envelope. No time like the present to see what other games Jarod had planned for them. There was nothing inside the envelope but a Polaroid of Jarod in a pilot's uniform. Turning the picture over, Lyle's eyes narrowed cruelly at the date and the message.

Lyle would have enjoyed their first family holiday a damned side more if they arrived on the Centre's jet, but oh no, they had to go through the hell of a commercial liner, to show them the reason why family holidays were considered a nightmare, and why it was considered a miracle if anyone was alive at the end.

But more than that, Lyle hated the fact that not only had Jarod arranged all of this, he had been flying the goddamn plane! What was the bet the stewardess responsible for spilling the little bastard's drink all over him was in on it with Jarod, hence why they managed to swing an upgrade to first-class? If it had happened to anyone else, it would be funny... but Lyle didn't consider it funny at all. He hated his birthday and Jarod's stunt didn't help in changing his mind.

Really, what was so special about his birthday that it should be celebrated and not cursed? He was ripped away from his mother and his sister the moment he drew breath. Yeah, that was really something he needed to crack open the champagne over. Each year, every January 3rd was a reminder of what had happened, what he had lost... what he could no longer have.

Scrunching the picture up, Lyle looked up when he saw movement outside on the balcony. Approaching the doors, he unlocked them when he saw Parker was outside, admiring the view. Lyle had to admit, at least the bastard got this part right. The view was beautiful, and Lyle did so enjoy beautiful views from high places.

Leaning against the railing, he inhaled a deep breath of the salty breeze before looking across at Parker. "Did you find one of these in your room?" he asked, holding up the now scrunched picture.

Parker didn’t glance up when she heard the door open behind her. She had already found out that their rooms shared a terrace. The bolts on the ground showed that it could be divided in two parts, but Jarod had probably arranged for it to remain open. She couldn’t bring herself to really care.

Parker barely took a glance at the scrunched up picture in Lyle’s hand. “Yeah, but mine wasn’t crumpled,” she muttered with a small smirk, deciding to lighten her mood by needling her twin. It worked all the time, so why should now be an exception?

Lyle looked at the crumpled picture in his hand with a boyish grin. "It made me feel better when I don't have my hands on the real thing. He was there, the whole time," he grumbled, scrunching the picture again. It was better than any stress-ball! "It is more than a little infuriating that we didn't know he was there, too blinded by the annoying passengers to notice the pilot's message."

She nodded, shrugging a little, “it isn’t the first time he plays us like that,” she murmured. She had in some ways, gotten used to it. She still didn’t like it, but she already had an ulcer from the labrat, she didn’t need another hospital stay for her troubles, so she tried to ignore little facts like those.

Lyle stuffed the picture into his pocket. Out of sight, out of mind was a good approach right now when it was now clear Jarod had been under their very noses when they were locked in their metal prison. "So what do you think we do now? Has he finished with us or do you think there is something more planned?" he asked, looking out at the view.

In their time zone, it was shortly after midnight, which meant it was the twin's birthday. Broots' hands trembled, and he shot Sydney an anxious look. Sydney nodded encouragingly, and Broots dialed Miss Parker's mobile phone number, dreading to hear her signature answer.

“This is Jarod we’re talking about,” Parker pointed out, glancing over to her twin, “in other words: he isn’t finished yet I’d say.” She shook her head and turned her eyes back to the view over the bay, watching the sun set slowly.

Barely reacting to the ringing of her phone, she reached for the offending object, glancing at the caller ID and rolling her eyes. “What?” she asked by way of her usual greeting.

Lyle just grunted, not surprised by what Parker said. He had a sneaking suspicion that she was right and Jarod wasn't finished with them. He looked at Parker when she retrieved her ringing phone. He knew it wouldn't be long after they landed before someone at the Centre tried to contact them. It was that reason why Lyle's phone was still switched off. He was in no mood to deal with their father. He could wait until tomorrow.

"Miss Parker, it's me, Broots," he said unnecessarily, as the caller-ID would have already shown her. "I... eh..." he shot Sydney a look, "We have found out something about your plane tickets. U262F."

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know. Parker turned away from the sunset, leaning her back against the railing. “So spill it,” she ordered, rubbing a hand over her forehead.

"Well," Broots started insecurely, "It's Unicode. Like...computer sign language. For Ying-Yang. For twins! So um... Sydney's theory is that your actual destination...is you."

He squeezed his eyes shut, anticipating a tirade, or at least a cannonade of curses - or the simple click of being disconnected. Quietly, he offered: "Oh, and Miss Parker? Happy birthday."

Parker closed her eyes in annoyance. Ying and Yang. She sighed, and then glanced at her watch upon Broots's next words. It was shortly after midnight in Blue Cove. She grunted and hung up the phone, tempted to throw the item off the building.

When he heard Parker disconnect the call, he looked at her only to arch an eyebrow at her clenched jaw, and her tight grip of the phone. Well, he didn't need to ask who was calling... or what they had to say. One of her Stooges had something to tell her, and it wasn't good news.

Sighing heavily, Lyle looked out towards the sunset. "Well? What has he done now?"

She turned her head towards her twin. “The numbers,” she started, “Broots says it’s Unicode for Ying-Yang… twins. So this whole trip is likely for nothing but to remind us once more. Oh and, depending in what time zone you like to think in, it's happy birthday already.”

Lyle stared at her in disbelief. "You're joking," he drawled, his eyes narrowing harshly. "He put us through all of this: the flight from hell, ruining my trousers, grounding the Centre's fleet giving Dad a reason to chew us both out, gave us jetlag and wasted--" he looked at his watch, but ended up looking away when his watch was on the wrong time and his body was confused anyway, "--20 hours having us schlepping around the globe just to tell us our birthday present is us... when he spends 99% of the time screaming like a banshee that I'm not to be trusted?"

Lyle snorted sharply, shoving away from the railing. "Yeah, wasting my time like this is really giving me a reason to be happy about the day I was stolen from my family." Now, after this very anticlimactic and frustrating trip, he was going to have a nap and then he would see about cleaning up the goddamn mess Jarod made for them. Unless of course Jarod had the consideration to clean up this mess himself, but that was a long-shot.

Parker was about to comment when Lyle added another sentence – one she hadn’t exactly reckoned with. She tilted her head to the side and watched him, somehow wondering if he would show something else or if he would retreat behind his own walls and hope that she forgot what he had said when this could classify as a moment of weakness, of showing emotion.

“No,” she said slowly, “not a joke. It seems to be what he sent us here for.”

"This week he is pushing the importance of family. Next week, he will be back to his usual games of digging up the past and ensuring you will never trust a single word out of my mouth." All the effort Jarod had gone to with this trip, trying to show them the importance of family, it was just a waste. "He shouldn't have bothered."

So what if their general hostility towards each other was lowered and they took the time to enjoy their 24-hour family holiday – which would likely be all the time they would spend here before returning to the Centre, returning to reality - what was it really supposed to achieve? As soon as they returned to the Centre, Jarod would be back to his old tricks, digging up past crimes and taking them out of context just to turn Parker against him, and they would have Parker's two Stooges getting in on the fun as well.

Or was that the point of all of this? Parker had a break away from the Centre, and Lyle had the knife twisted when he was taunted by things he couldn't have? Lyle wouldn't put it past the freak to be thinking like this. Hell, it would fit with his usual behavior of doing everything possible to ensure Parker never trusted him.

"I need a drink," Lyle muttered and returned to his room to raid the mini-bar. He didn't have any champagne on the plane when it had felt wrong. Just what exactly was he supposed to be celebrating? The same couldn't be said for scotch though. He took the bottle of single malt scotch out of the bar fridge, ignoring the little bow tied around the neck of the bottle. At least Jarod had enough sense to leave some hard liquor.

She glanced back over her shoulder, watching her twin’s retreating back. She wondered briefly if she should follow and try to talk to him, was instantly reminded herself that they didn’t have that kind of a connection. They weren’t that close. Shaking her head, she turned back to watch the rest of the sunset, her eyes following the line of the horizon wondering where this trip would lead.

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