Title: Mirage

Artist/Author: KivaEmber and Tropicalna

Character(s)/Pairing(s): Near everyone is involved, multiple pairings too, whoot.

Rating: M for later chapters

Disclaimer: The Bleach Cast belongs to Tite Kubo, not Tropicalna or KivaEmber. The plot, setting, and ideas belong to Tropicalna and KivaEmber.

Summary: Shirosaki thought he had finally escaped his life of crime when he met Ichigo, but when Aizen makes his move, he finds everyone he knows being caught up in the storm of lies and mirages. Alternate Universe, Multiple pairings, Yaoi, Character Deaths

A/N: And chapter four of ‘Mirage’ has arrived. We hope you enjoy it.

Tropicalna: Whoa. I wrote this entire chapter by myself. Whoa.

KivaEmber: I was too lazy to write, plus my fagtop decided to do a full system crash on me because it got gangraped by five Trojans and an Email Worm. Orz. It’s been resurrected as a zombie-fagtop though, so I can still write fanfiction (continues to grumble about fagtop and its shitty anti-virus programmes) Best protection my ass…Eh, enjoy this chapter. It’s hilarious XD

X.x.X

Chapter Four- He Who Laughs Last

X.x.X

“They’re late. Again.” Hiyori glowered at the door, eyes trained on the knob should it ever turn.

As if on cue, the door to Yoruichi’s and Urahara’s office burst open, Ichigo and Shiro stumbling out in a similar fashion as yesterday.

“You’re la-“ Hiyori started to say, but cut herself off. “Wait…well….Hmm….” She frowned. “You were in Yoruichi and Urahara’s office, which is part of the kitchens….and you never went out this door…so I guess you aren’t late. Why the hell were you in their office though?”

Shiro grinned. “Eh, smexin’ it up on their desk with vibrators an’ handcuffs.”

“So that’s what those two were giggling about yesterday.” Hiyori muttered. “Well, anyways, I need you to-“

BOOM!

Whatever she was about to say was drowned out in the large explosion that came from behind the door of the Food Lab. Or it could have been the maniacal laughter that followed soon after that covered it up.

Hiyori scowled. “Damnit, what does that creep Mayuri think he’s doing now? Shinji, go check it out!”

Shinji saluted wearily. “Yes ma’am.” He trudged over to the door, but just as he was about to open it, the door slammed open, slamming into Shinji. The unfortunate man grunted and crumpled to the floor in a pitiful pile of flesh and bones.

“I did it!” Mayuri cackled, the insane gleam in his eyes a bit brighter than normal. His white lab haori had turned grey, probably from all the smoke that was issuing in the room behind him.

Ichigo noted that there also seemed to be flames flickering in the background, but Mayuri’s ridiculous pharaoh like headpiece blocked most of the view from within.

Hiyori sighed. “And what, exactly, is it that you did, Mayuri?”

“Using the power of science, I, the great Mayuri Kurostuchi, have created…..a human girl!” Mayuri crowed.

Shiro rolled his eyes. “That’s what you said last time, but it was still just a bread doll.”

The mad scientist sniffed. “Hmph. Nemu, have you finished getting those clothes on?”

“Yes, Mayuri-sama.” A young girl (Baby?) stepped into view, dark purple hair in a braid and wearing dark, black clothes like many other of the kitchen staff.

Hiyori gaped. “You….how….? All the equipment in there is for food testing, not for creating people!” Mayuri pointedly ignored her.

“Hey, look, he really did manage to create one this time.” Shiro said, seeming to be very little affected, if any, by the sight of the strange girl. Completely opposite of his boyfriend, who was still struggling to comprehend what he was seeing.

“Shinji!” Hiyori snapped. “Get up and go find Urahara!”

Shinji nodded as he slowly pulled himself off the ground, looking dazed. Hiyori gave him a disapproving look. “You’re pathetic, dickhead.”

Mayuri was sill cackling. “Behold, my new lab assistant! She is far more competent than the others you have given me thus far!”

“I was fairly competent.” Ulquiorra muttered his breath. “It was Grimmjow who wanted a fuck right then and there in your lab.” The short man went unheard.

“Now, not only do I have a lab assistant, but I have the perfect weapon to take down the last Quincy!” AT this Mayuri threw his head back and let out another evil laugh.

“I don’t want to know what he meant by ‘weapon.” Grimmjow said flatly. “And I think I’ll keep my nose out of it too.”

“Come, Nemu!” The mad man finally turned around, heading back into the lab.

“Yes, Mayuri-sama!” Nemu pivoted on her heel and followed her father (master?) back into the lab, the door slamming shut behind them.

Hiyori had long ago lost interest in what the scientist had been rambling about. “Where the hell is Urahara?”

“You called?” The blonde man suddenly appeared next to them and leaned casually against a countertop, as if he had been there the entire time.

Hiyori wheeled around to face him. “There you are! I have a job for you!”

Urahara tilted his head, snapping out his fan and hiding whatever part of his face that his hat didn’t. “Oh? And what could I possibly do for a beautiful lady like you?”

Shiro scoffed and rolled his eyes at the comment.

“I want you to find out why Mayuri was able to create something as scientifically advanced as a human in a lab designed for creating recipes.” Hiyori said, not missing a beat.

“Ah, so I see you want to make use of my side detective agency.” Urahara waved his fan idly for a bit. “Well, I guess. I have my own reasons, but alright.” And just like that, he disappeared.

“I want to know how he does that.” Ichigo said. “How does he move so quickly?”

“Maaagic~” The albino said with a smirk, wiggling his fingers for effect. Ichigo sighed and shook his head at his lover’s antics.

Hiyori had a deep frown on her face. “He already knows something….” She growled unhappily and wheeled around to face several of the cooks who had stopped to watch. “What are you all standing around for? Get back to work, bitches!”

There were hurried clanks of metal on metal and loud chatter as the workers got back to work.

Ukitake was nearby with Toshiro, both having watched the whole spectacle.

“I wonder how Mayuri created that girl…” Ukitake mused, resting his head on the palm of his hend.

Toshiro shrugged. “Its anybodies guess. That man’s insane. He could probably create a lethal gun out of a can opener, a spatula, and rotten food.”

Ukitake chucked at the idea.

“Hello Toshiro!” Came a cheery voice which sunk down Toshiro’s mood several levels. The fox like man bounded up to where Toshiro and Ukitake were, all smiles as usual.

“Gin.” Toshiro deadpanned. “What is it you need?”

“I need to talk to ya in private fer just a few minutes.” Gin said. “Won’t be long.”

Toshiro was not the only one eyeing Gin suspiciously. Nevertheless the youngest of the three sighed. “Alright. I’ll see you later, Ukitake.”

Ukitake waved as the two walked off outside.

X.x.X

They stopped by the large metal blue trashcans. Toshiro leaned against one of the trashcans. “Well?”

“I just wanted to warn ya that Luppi is eyeing you as a possible hostage for revenge against Grimmjow.” Gin said, his smile not as wide as before, but still creepy.

Toshiro sighed. “I think I can handle Luppi, Gin. I know I look like a kid, but I’ll be able to handle the situation just fine.”

Gin’s smile widened to it’s normal length again. “Ya suuuure? Luppi is pretty strong. And he's being fueled by revenge. I'd watch out, if I were you. Luppi's pride was bruised, and he intends ta gain it back, probably by forcing Grimmjow and Ulquiorra into a hostage situation.”

Toshiro folded his arms and stared. “Why are you telling me this? I thought you would just sit back and watch this unfold with a laugh.”

Now the smile was wider than normal. “Oh, I still will. Because you see….Luppi doesn’t play nicely.”

Toshiro blinked, but before he could fully register Gin’s words, a chemical soaked cloth was pressed to his mouth. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he slumped.

Luppi chuckled, wasting no time in dragging off Toshiro. “Thanks, Gin.” He tossed an envelope at Gin, who easily caught it.

“Oh, anytime.” Gin said, nimble fingers opening the letter. He paused to read it for a moment, his smile turning into a sneer. As soon as Luppi was gone, he ripped it into tiny shreds, dumping it into the trash.

Without so much as a backward glance, Gin walked off into the streets, not a care in the world. It wasn’t as if he actually cared about Toshiro, after all. In the long run, the boy was just a tool about to be used up.

X.x.X

Ukitake looked around worriedly in the kitchens. It had been several hours since Gin had taken Toshiro outside, and since then he had not seen either of them. He knew both males could take care of themselves, but it still worried him about what was taking so long.

“Ah, Grimmjow, do you know where Toshiro is?” Ukitake asked, approaching the teal haired man.

“Huh?” Grimmjow looked up from where he had been hacking at a thick chunk of beef. “No, why the fuck would I know where the Titch is?”

Ukitake sighed. “He went off with Gin some time ago, and I haven’t seen them since. I was kinda hoping you’d know.”

“You let him go outside with Gin alone.” It was not a question.

“Gin said it would only take a few minutes.” Ukitake fidgeted. “But…”

Grimmjow sighed. “Oh geeze…..why do I have a feeling that something bad is about to happen?”

As if on cue, the back door to the kitchens burst open and Gin stumbled in, looking dazed. There was blood trickling down from a scratch on his cheek. “Toshiro’s been kidnapped!” There was no smile on his face now.

Shiro looked up. “Eh?”

“Knew it.” Grimmjow spat.

“We were just talkin’, and suddenly I was flat on my back! I don’t know what happened.” Gin hopped from foot to foot nervously, glancing around. “How long have I been out?”

“Well, last time I saw ya,” Shiro thought for a moment, “was about an four hours ago.”

“Damnit!” Gin cursed, cool exterior long gone. “This was the exact same thing I was warnin’ him about!”

“What do you mean?” Ukitake asked, alarmed.

“Luppi, o’ course!” Gin said. “He’s revenge obsessed!”

Shiro perked up. “Oooh, we’ll probably get one of them ransom notes!”

Gin shook his head. “No…I didn’t find any.”

Ukitake started to panic. “Should we call the police?”

“Calm down! All of you!” Hiyori barked, entering the conversation. “Shinji, come here!”

“Yes, Hiyori?” Shinji asked, walking up to her.

“Remember that trick I taught you a few years ago, where you could imitate a police dog?” Hiyori asked.

Shinji paled somewhat. “Yea….”

“Good!” Hiyori held out one of Toshiro’s aprons. “Find Toshiro!”

Shinji shuddered before reluctantly leaning forward and sniffing the fabric.

Shiro was amused, but at the same time disturbed. “This shit is real?”

Hiyori pulled out a leash and collar, slipping the collar around Shinji’s neck and clipping on the leash.

“I think she’s just looking for an excuse to put that on.” Ulquiorra muttered.

“Let’s just flow with it.” Grimmjow said with a casual shrug.

“Now, Grimmjow, come over here.” Hiyori made a motion for the teal-haired man to come closer. When he did, she held out the leash to him, and Grimmjow, not knowing what else to do, took it, as well as the apron. “Since this is your mess, you are going to go take care of it!”

Grimmjow grimaced, not paying much attention to Hiyori and more to the fact that he was walking a man around on a leash. ‘Oh god, this is so uncomfortable.’

“Use Shinji to lead you to where Toshiro and Luppi are at. If Shinji gets distracted, tell him to heel and jerk on the leash. Under no circumstance are you to let him go into a hat shop.”

Grimmjow shifted, still awkwardly holding Shinji’s leash. “Noted.”

“Now,” Hiyori smirked, “Go beat Luppi’s ass. I want his dick cut off and brought back here as an ornament for our kitchen.”

Ichigo made a muffled noise of surprise as he finally realized the odd looking objects that adorned the front of Hiyori’s office door.

Shinji glanced at said door. “I think you already have anough.”

The blonde woman smiled sweetly. “What was that? I didn’t hear you.”

Shinji laughed nervously and shied away from her. “Eh, nothing….”

“Damn straight.” Hiyori puffed up her chest before returning to the situation at hand. “Bring back my homicidal knife boy, will ya? That clear?”

Grimmjow nodded.

“I’ll go as well.” Ulquiorra said, walking up to Grimmjow.

“Eh,” Shiro shrugged, “Might as well go for kicks and giggles.” Ichigo and Ukitake volunteered as well, but Hiyori firmly shook her head.

“No, this is a personal matter for only Grimmjow and Ulquiorra. Shinji’s only going because he’s the guide dog.”

Instantly there were protests from the three, but Hiyori simply raised her sandal threateningly in the air to silence them.

Shiro pouted. “Damnit…I wanted t’ see th’ action too….” Ichigo patted his lover comfortingly on the back.

“Too bad.” Hiyori snapped. “Now go!” She smacked Shinji’s ass with the slipper, and the older blonde jolted.

“Arf! Arf!” He said piteously, surging forward.

Grimmjow grinned. “C’mon, Ulquiorra!” Ulquiorra did not need to be told twice, quickly following after Shinji and Grimmjow.

X.x.X

“Damnit! Hiyori said no hats, you stupid mutt!” Grimmjow strained back on the leash, trying to prevent Shinji from entering the hat store.

“But the beret!” Shinji wailed, feebly reaching for the black hat in behind the display case window.

Ulquiorra sighed and grabbed the back of Shinji’s shirt, dragging him away from the store.

X.x.X

Forty-five minutes later found the three before a large, abandoned warehouse. The sun had started to go down, and most of the sky was already an inky black. There were no stars out tonight.

Ulquiorra took in the broken windows and peeling paint. “Is this the place?” He asked.

“Woof.” Came the affirmative bark from Shinji.

Grimmjow was grumbling to himself. “Hell. Utter and dramatized hell.”

Ulquiorra reached down and with little effort forced up the steel garage door. There was a high-pitched grating noise as the metal creaked and groaned, rust, dust, and who knows what other stuff falling down on them from above.

“There’s no one here….” Ulquiorra’s eyes scanned the inky blackness of inside the building, eyes quickly adjusting to the lack of light. “Are you sure this is the place, Shinji?”

“I’m sure.” Shinji replied confidently. “Hiyori made sure I could do this right.”

Grimmjow shook his head. “Dude, your life is pathetic.”

Shinji hung his head. “I know.”

There was a metallic clang from within the warehouse, causing all three to jump in alarm.

“Shinji, do you smell anyone in there?” Ulquiorra asked.

Shinji took another sniff of the air and made a face. “Well, I smell really sickly female perfume, and ice….so Luppi and Toshiro are definitely here.”

Grimmjow grinned. “Who’s wearing the perfume?”

Shinji was not amused.

All three walked in, Shinji trailing behind rather reluctantly. Ulquiorra and Shinji were on the lookout for any movement, but Grimmjow seemed pretty relaxed.

“Well, I see you made it…Grimmjow, Ulquiorra.”

They looked up to see Luppi sneering down at them, standing on top a storage container.

Grimmjow shook his head slowly. “Yup. Dramatized hell.”

END CHAPTER FOUR