Transcription, May 27th, 1953

Van Buren: We’re recording now. See the reels?

Walter: Yes. What is…?

(Walter points at the tape recorder and accidentally bumps it. He draws his hand back quickly and looks at this writer apologetically.)

VB: Don’t worry. You can touch it. In fact, I’m going to put you in charge of the tape recorder. That way, you can stop it whenever you want. If you start to feel uncomfortable, you can shut it off, okay?

W: Okay.

VB: This button right here.

W: Okay.

VB: Last week we had done some drawing. It looked like you were putting a lot of thought into it before you got started. I brought the materials again if you want to give it another try.

W: No, that’s all right. I have your pen.

VB: Oh. Thank you. Did you use it much?

W: A little. It was hard to get used to, but I liked the way it wrote.

VB: It can be hard at first, but I’m glad you gave it a try. What did you like about it?

W: The way the ink would pool up at the tip if you would let it. Or how you could make the lines really thin if you moved it the right way. It’s much better than any pens I’ve ever used. I bet the President uses a pen just like it.

VB: He very well could.

W: He does.

VB: Did you end up writing anything?

W: Not really.

VB: No?

W: Actually, I did a drawing. You gave me drawing paper so I did a drawing.

VB: Did you? What did you draw?

W: A dream I had. I don’t know if I can show it to you.

VB: Is that it there?

W: Did you want to see it?

VB: Only if you want me to see it.

(Walter reluctantly shows his drawing. It appears to be two nude figures, female and male, attached by the mouth and genitals. See image attached.)

VB: This was in your dream? Can you tell me more about it?

W: The dream? I don’t know…I…It was just a dream. Never mind.

VB: Walter, it seems like you want to tell me. Sometimes dreams are like puzzles. Maybe we can figure this one out together. Who are these people you drew?

W: A man and my mom. What happened was…I don’t know.

VB: You don’t know?

(Walter pauses for several minutes and stares down at the drawing.)

W: A man was in my old house, with my mom. They were eating some stuff like raw dough, and my mom choked on a piece. The guy with her tried to fish it out of her throat. He got his whole hand in her mouth and then it was like he had his whole arm down her throat. He told me to get a doctor, so I ran out of the room but the house was all different and there wasn't any doctor there anyway, so I went back to find mom. I was walking down this sort of hallway, and it was dark and I saw what looked like my mom and this guy dancing, old fashioned dancing at the other end of the room, and they didn't have any clothes on. They were sort of clopping around like a horse in a pantomime with two guys in a suit. When they got nearer, I saw they weren't dancing at all, they were squashed together like Siamese twins, joined at the face and chest and stomach. They didn't have any face, you could only see their ears, two on either side of the head facing towards each other. Their hands were growing into each other as well, but they had all four legs free and they were sort of dancing sideways towards me down the dark hall like a crab, and there was something tripping 'em up, wrapped around their feet, and I looked down and I saw it was trousers and underwear and stuff. They were coming towards me, and then I woke up. I had feelings when I woke up. Dirty feelings, thoughts and stuff. The dream it sort of upset me, physically. I couldn't help it. I feel bad just talking about it. *

VB: Can you tell me more about these feelings you experienced?

(Walter stops the recording.)

Trauma and the Child-Adolescent Psyche:

A Psychodynamic Case Study….continued

Dream Analysis

The imagery within Walter’s dream appears to have a strongly symbolic nature, combining Jungian archetypes with repressed traumatic memories. The recurring theme of the maternal figure is present in a graphic and disturbing manner, tapping into Walter’s fears and providing further insight into his anger towards his mother. As indicated in his case history, Walter may be reliving instances that he witnessed while residing with his mother, particularly acts of prostitution within the home. The dream enables Walter to make sense of what he had seen and provides him with a vocabulary (i.e. the figures were “dancing”) to interpret sexual acts. As per his actual experiences, the dream frightened Walter and shamed him.

Specifically pulling from the dream imagery, the maternal figure “choking” may be representative of Walter’s un-nurtured feelings, as his mere presence suffocates his mother. Though the man in his dream is not described in detail, his attempts to physically save Walter’s mother by reaching down her throat not only portrays a strong, authoritative figure, but also the act of penetration. The mention of a “doctor” can be a manifestation of the archetypal image of the “wise man”, a symbol often associated with growth and potential. Within the dream, Walter is unable to find a doctor—this can be representative of Walter’s psyche becoming stifled and unable to heal in the face of the trauma.

The sexual innuendo heightens as the dream progresses, leaving Walter to face his mother in a confusing and seemingly unnatural state of being. He witnesses his mother become physically conjoined, leaving him solitary and alone, facing engulfment by something he doesn’t understand. While Walter refused to clarify the “dirty feelings” that plagued him when he woke, it can be speculated that these feelings were inspired by a lack of understanding, an overwhelming abandonment, and a skewed framework of sexuality. As a result of neglect and abuse, Walter seems to be ill-equipped to interpret and handle circumstances that may challenge the rigid boundaries he formed to protect himself from feelings of vulnerability.

* Moore, A. (1986). Watchmen. New York: DC Comics