Around The Campfire

Author: The Humbug

Disclaimer: “Kim Possible” and all characters within © The Walt Disney Company and its related entities. Kim Possible created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved. No profit is being collected from the fiction contained within. The rest you can blame on me.

Rating: PG-13 for combat violence and intimations of a physical relationship and intimate contact between consenting adult females. This should also cover a little harsh language now and then, and the taking of the Lord’s name in vain just once. If this will offend you, please read something else and then seek some professional help. No Pixie Scouts were harmed in the writing of this story.

Summary: This is a Kim/Shego pairing fan fiction and is set in my ‘Who’s Writing This Crap?’ storyline. Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible are the creations of NoDrogs. This tale is dedicated to Starvinglunatic, who suggested the idea and her profile can be found FFdN.

Around The Campfire – Three

“Mommy?”

“hmm”

“Momma?”

“ngh”

They never heard the twins open the zippered flap that morning, so soundly were they asleep. Only when the fabric was lifted and tied back did the blast of light from the daystar drag them up to a level one notch above oblivion. A mess of red hair at the mouth of the sleeping bag was the only evidence that Kim was actually there and the rest of her head was obscured by a mass of equally unruly black hair belonging to someone else entirely.

“Good morning!”

“… timizit…?”

“It’s late!”

“Yeah, almost seven o’clock!”

The red hair pushed farther out of the sleeping bag and parted to reveal a puffy face.

“Who’re you?”

“Doy!”

“It’s us!”

“Who?”

“Sheki!”

“Kasy!”

The frizzy red mess lowered.

“Never heard of you.”

“We’re your daughters!”

“You’re a Fig Newton of my imagination. Scram.” The red hair settled back and rolled away. The larger black mass of hair shifted and pale green lips were exposed. Bereft of their customary black gloss the lips were almost invisible as distinguishing characteristics.

“Wuzzup?”

“Pixie Scouts.” The smaller shape pulled closer to the larger. “They say they’re related to me.”

There was a hint of green eyes squinting through the black cloud of hair.

“They look more like me.”

“Then you talk to them.”

“Alright, youse mugs.” A limp arm unfolded from the bag and clumsily scratched at a rangy head of black hair. “Back away nice and slow and leave the Thin Mints… ”

“Oatmeal Raisin.”

“… and Oatmeal Raisin cookies outside.” The larger shape rolled, resting practically on top of the smaller. “Then bugger off.”

The twins were incredulous. Kasy gestured wildly while Sheki poked at the sleeping bag.

“Momma, it’s time to get up!”

“We’re ready to fix breakfast!”

“Yeah, and we’re hungry!”

The red hair resurfaced.

“Are they still here?”

“I told them about the cookies but they won’t leave.” The other voice was muffled from within the bag. “Ask them what they’re fixing for breakfast.”

“What are you fixing for…”

“Eggs and bacon and grits.”

The larger shape moved.

“Now I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry.”

“But… we got a problem.” Kasy scuffed at the ground.

“Hm?” Kim stuck her head fully clear of the sleeping bag and looked her children in the eyes. Fun was fun but now she distinctly sensed the telltale signs of a sitch. “What’s the problem, baby?”

“It rained last night.”

“Hard?”

“Justa drizzle.”

“Is it a mess out there?”

“No.” The little redhead sniffled and this brought Kim to full alert.

“So our stuff’s ok?”

“Yes.” It was Sheki who answered this time. She glanced sympathetically at her twin.

“Then…?”

“Everything’s wet!” Kasy’s scowl was extremely Shegoesque.

“Aha, I get the picture.” She slowly pulled herself out of the sleeping bag but only until her arms and shoulders were free; Kim was still nude and hoped that the girls didn’t glimpse her pajamas balled up at the end of the bag.

“Kimmie, where are you…?”

“Shego, it’s time to get up.”

“Awwww!”

“I mean it.”

“Poopie.” The black hair shifted as the larger shape rolled away in protest and Kim ignored the mildly scatological expletive. She saw that she didn’t need to worry about the girls hearing it because they were both still preoccupied with the matter of last night’s rain.

“It’ll be fine, sweetheart.”

“Today was my turn!”

“Kasy, it’s still your turn.”

“There’s no dry wood for the fire!” Kasy almost stamped her foot; it would have been far too childish an act for her age but she was so upset that it wouldn’t have mattered. Sheki looked just as disappointed but wasn’t as close to tears of frustration as her sibling. Kim knew they were capable of better than this when the chips were down… and this was about as down as chips got for a Pixie camping trip… and slipped into command mode.

“Pixie Scouts always find a way. Give us a few…”

“But…!”

“… minutes to get ourselves perpendicular and we’ll be right out.”

“But…!”

“In the meantime, take a walk around under the trees but don’t go far.” Kim brushed more hair away from her face. She smiled confidently at her children. “Grab anything that might have escaped the rain and don’t be afraid to grab any nasty old logs that we can split open.”

The little redhead looked hopeful.

“Ok, Mommy.”

“Ask Sheki to help you.”

“Pixie Scout Sheki reporting for duty!”

“Excellent! Now you really must give us a minute ‘cause your Momma’s breath could kill a moose…”

“Hey!”

“… and I need to visit Fort Necessity.”

“EEWWWWWW!!”

“They’re right, Princess. TMI.” Shego pulled herself out of the sleeping bag just enough to give her offspring a bleary wink but not enough for them to gauge her state of undress. The girls did seem in better spirits than a few moments ago and their Anything’s Possible For A Possible nature was reasserting itself. One twin looked at the other...

“Hicka-bicka-boo?”

“Hoosha!”

… and they were gone, running off to follow the instructions they’d been given.

“Freaks.” Shego used Kim’s body as a sort of ladder to pull herself out of the rumpled fabric. “Why do twins always talk shit like that?”

“Your brothers do that?”

“The Wegos? Incessantly. Yours?”

“Yeah, the Tweebs did, too.” Kim unzipped the bag so that she could crawl out more easily. “They still do, otherwise I’d blame it on exposure to a certain comet.”

“Freaky twin shit more likely.”

“Shego!” The redhead paused in adjusting her underwear. “Please do not refer to our love bunnies as freaks!”

“I hate to be the one to break this to you, Pumpkin, but we’re all freaks in this family.” Shego blew the few remaining strands of black hair from her face and surveyed their encampment through the open tent flap. The visible ground was still very damp but not as muddy as she had feared.

“So we survived?”

“Doy. What’d ya expect?”

“I dunno. Washed away by rain. Eaten by coyotes.”

“So not the drama!”

“I seem to recall a slavering animal in my sleeping bag last night.” Emerald eyes slid over and watched Kim’s fair skin start to turn crimson. The hero’s smile was a perfect counterpoint to her embarrassment.

“Story time was fun.”

“That poem with the lighthouse?”

“No. I mean our story time.” She watched with satisfaction as a dusky bruise flushed the pale green cheeks of her wife. “My poor stranded alien.”

“Stifle that, Princess, and help me find my boots!” Shego grinned as she rummaged around the cramped confines of the tent. “And you’d better get a move on unless you want to learn how we use Fort Necessity on my planet!”

88888888

Greasy black smoke coiled around the small mound of tree bark and it smelled of creosote and rot… but it burned. You would have thought it was Christmas morning in the wilds above Middleton.

“YAAAY!”

They each sat atop a flattened stone that had been flipped over to expose the dryer side. Sheki clapped and looked as if she wanted to try making fire under these less than optimal conditions, Shego pursed her lips and observed the joyous self-satisfaction in her children and wondered if she had ever felt that way when she had been young and Kim made an entry in her Pixie Scout Leader’s notebook.

“Excellent work, Pixie.” This was all that Shego heard but Kim did lean in close and whisper something in the little redhead’s ear that made her grin even wider. It had taken the girl more time and considerably more elbow grease than it had her sister but the flames were eventually coaxed from the mossy tree bark. Even her blisters would be completely healed within the hour.

“Not to ruin anyone’s parade, but can we please make with the breakfast, already?”

“I’m hungry, too.” The little girl with the long black hair sidled up to her Momma, looking like a mini-Shego. The older woman obviously was thinking the same thing because she deftly unwound the pink ribbon from Sheki’s hair and, before the girl could protest, had it tied around her own flowing black tresses.

“Momma, can I have my ribbon back?”

“No! Mine!” The denial was as much for show as the demand; this was an old game. The girl gave her mother a mock-Pout.

“Mommy!”

“Baby, let her have it while we eat. She just wants to look pretty like you.”

“Oh… ok.”

“Please and thank you, Princess!”

Kim snorted in derision without looking up from her notebook.

“As if.”

“GRRR!”

The twins giggled and Kasy stood up from admiring her handiwork… speaking of which were filthy with moss and mold and black smears from damp bark.

“Can I wash my hands before we eat, Mommy?”

“Quite right. There’s nothing worse than a dirty Pixie.”

“I like my Pixies dirty.”

“No comments needed, please.” Kim closed the notebook smartly. “It’ll take a minute for the rest of these twigs to dry enough for burning, anyway.” She redirected her finger at the pile of tinder spread about the burning bark; once the heat from the flames dried it sufficiently, it would make a welcome addition to the fuel. She aimed the writing implement on her children. “You gals take the water jug and get us some fresh water when you clean up, please and thank you. Your Momma and I will break out the rest of our food.”

“Pixie Scouts are GO!” Again, they ran off to follow their orders.

“Kim?”

“Hm?”

“Are we really gonna cook up everything left?”

“Well,” the hero had been watching her girls running down to the river and turned to her mate. “We only brought enough for yesterday and this morning. That way, we don’t have to worry about hauling to much back home.” Kim looked at her watch. “If we head out of here by eleven o’clock, we can… GIRLS, take your shoes off before you wade!” She blinked and refocused. “We can stop somewhere after we’re back in the car.” She shrugged. “We all seem to prefer a late lunch anyway and the hike will build up our appetites and…”

“That’s not what I meant.” The former villain bit her lip and gazed around the campsite. “It’s just that if we still had some food left over, and since…” Shego glanced off towards her children. “I’d better NOT see any mud get thrown!” The former villain sighed. “Since today is Saturday and no one has anything else going on, um, tomorrow, then maybe we wouldn’t, uh… wouldn’t need to leave.”

“At eleven o’clock?” Emerald eyes rolled. “KASY, put that down!”

“No… today. You know.” The older woman huffed. “Not until tomorrow.”

Kim was floored.

“You actually want to stay out here another day?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Don’t do that! It’s annoying!” Long pale green arms were planted on cocked hips as she turned around to glance behind her. “Sheki Go Possible, please do not chase your sister!”

“But you told me that you’re not into,” Kim thrust her arms out and gestured at the wooded landscape. “…all this! The great outdoors sucked, I distinctly heard you say!”

“I know!” The pale green woman glowered down at her hiking boots and then up along the pine ridge to the north and the broad, shallow river where her children were playing and collecting water. Her emerald gaze swung back to Kim. “I thought that I’d die of boredom. Then I remembered that boredom is being stuck in a chair filing my nails or reading the same old fashion magazine for the umpteenth time while a crazy blue man in a blue lab coat rants about world domination.” She pointed at the ground beneath her. “This is relaxed, being here with my family.”

“Awwwwww! That’s so sweet!” Kim’s eyes flicked away. “GIRLS! Don’t splash!”

“Whatever. Now whip out the KP-CB and call your folks. Let them know we’re staying another day, please and thank you.”

“What makes you think I brought the Kimmunicator?”

“Oh, please! You’re joined at the hip with that thing.”

“Am not!”

“Are too. You’d probably keep it stored in your hoohoo if it had a vibrate feature.”

“That’s gross!

“Does it?”

“Does it what?”

“Vibrate.”

“Well, yeah. If I turn off the chime.”

Shego shook her head, disgusted.

“And you never thought to share?”

“Huh? Ghaa! No, it’s not like that!”

“Well, it should be.” Shego nodded sagely. “You need to talk with the Nerdlinger about that.”

“Ghaa!” Kim blazed crimson. “Subject closed! New topic… so you really want to stick around for another day?”

“I do. But there are going to be some changes.”

“Oh, really?” Kim crossed her arms and leaned back on her rock, hooking her thumbs under the gold sash of her Pixie Leader’s uniform and letting the morning sun glint off the many emblems displayed there. “Might I remind you who is in charge of this troupe?”

“Says who?”

“These badges say who!”

“Badges?” The shark-like smile slowly spread across Shego’s face and Kim experienced that sinking feeling of the inevitable.

“Crap, I fell right into that.”

“We don’t need no stink’n badges!”

The redhead buried her face in her hands.

“I am so glad that I was able to empower you.” She smiled in spite of herself. “I hate to burst your bubble, Oh Great Green She-Devil Of The Forest… but once we’ve finished our ginormous breakfast this morning we won’t have any more food left over.” The hero didn’t enjoy having to point this out but it was a flaw in her mate’s plan. “We’ll all be hungry again before nightfall.”

“Good thinking, Pixie Kimmie.” Shego ignored the raspberry. “I suggest that we leave some of the grits for Sunday morning. I’ll make the fire tonight and tomorrow so we’ll be back on the trail early. We’ll have brunch after we get home and unloaded.”

“Will you be making fire the Pixie way or…” She paused as the tall woman raised her hands in relpy and brilliant green flares of raw energy enveloped them. “Guess not.” Kim sighed. Fair enough, she thought, to let Shego have things her way for once since their being together as a family meant so much. Still, there were some unanswered questions. “That explains breakfast tomorrow. What about dinner tonight?”

“That’s what I meant by ‘changes’.”

“Lordy, I’m almost afraid to ask.” Kim frowned and looked off towards the water’s edge. “Judas Priest, ladies! It wouldn’t take the Mormon Tabernacle Choir this long to wash up! Mommy is hungry!” Still, she shared a grin with her spouse. “You were talking about dinner?”

“We all like fish, right?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s fish in that river, right?”

“Yeah, plenty. I’ve caught and eaten them myself.”

“Then there you have it. Dinner is on me. I’ll fish and you Pixies can clean them. I make us a fire and TA-DA!” She clapped her long hands together and the green flames went out. “Dinner!”

“How will you fish? We didn’t bring poles.”

“Doy! Plasma!”

“WHAT?!”

“Sure. A low yield blast right above the water would… Kimmie, why are you looking at me like that?”

“That’s cruel!”

“Cruel? Cruel, how?”

“Blasting them to bits! That’s how cruel!”

“Not blast them! Stun them. You didn’t let me finish. See this?” She held up one finger, the digit glowing faintly. “At my lowest power levels I can stun everything in a small area. I scoop up what we need and the rest wake up in a few seconds.”

“The poor fish!”

“Oh, don’t give me that! No matter how humanely you catch them with a pole, you’re still killing them to eat! My way’s the least painful if you think about it because they won’t feel a thing.”

“How can you know that?”

“Well,” the tall woman seemed to collapse in on herself a bit. “You never felt anything, did you?”

“Huh?”

“When I’d, uh, stun you. You probably don’t even remember.”

“When did you ever stun me?”

“Kimmie, it was before.”

“Shego, seriously, I’m having a major ‘MIB’ moment here! When did you ever stun me?”

“Like I said!” The bruised coloration ran deep and her blush made Shego look like a poorly refrigerated corpse. “It was before! Before we… knew each other.”

“Oh.” Kim slowed her breathing and calmed down. “Ok. I guess that I can’t get too upset about something I don’t remember.”

Her wife gave a hopeful grin.

“See? Painless?”

The redhead’s hooded gaze spoke of less gracious thoughts.

“Meaning that I never felt the brain damage?”

SPLASH!

They turned in perfect unison towards the water.

“What the…?”

“………..!”

“Great.” Kim clambered to her feet and trudged in the direction of the crying child. “Tell you what… you can make up for my dead brain cells by digging out the towel and some spare clothes from my pack, please and thank you.”

Shego nodded and moved to the tent, but then turned and smirked.

“Geez, Pumpkin, you weren’t this bent out of shape the last time I told you about the stunning.” Black glossed lips pursed in a mock Pout. “Oh, that’s right, you probably don’t remember ‘cause of the dain bramage.”

“You are about as funny as a rubber crutch.”

88888888

The five of them, Kim and Shego and Kasy and Sheki and the spindly scarecrow that was assembled from Sheki’s wet clothes and a rack of sticks, sat around the toasty fire and breathed in the delicious aroma of frying bacon and eggs. It was strongly believed that the unexpected guest would not be eating breakfast, leaving plenty for anyone with a faster ‘boarding house reach’ than Shego. Both girls had been found guilty of unnecessary roughness during wash-up so a sixty-forty split against Kasy for the hot cocoa was deemed punishment enough for her sister’s unscheduled swim.

“Aren’t you chilled?”

“No, Mommy.”

“We don’t get chilled, Kimmie.” Shego had the little girl partially wrapped in her flowing mass of coal black hair as the Pixie Scout nestled on her Momma’s lap; a quick dry off with the towel and a quick change of undies along with a borrowed pajama top would suit the girl until her clothes were thoroughly dried. “You know that us greenies have a higher body temperature. Only you pinkies get chilled.”

“I should be jealous.” Kim waited for the matched set of Pouts from her offspring, and got them. “But I feel better knowing that my babies don’t get colds.”

“YAAAY!”

“Correction, our babies.” Kim intended this to be a simple clarification and meant nothing significant by it… nevertheless the statement resulted in a powerful leg brushing against hers. Otherwise, Shego didn’t speak a word. This simple contact between them showed all the appreciation Kim would ever ask for. There would be a more heartfelt expression of gratitude later when they had some time to themselves. The younger woman smirked at her daughters.

“Of course, it also means that no one will ever miss a day of school for being sick.”

“BOOOO!”

“Speaking of no school.” She suddenly had their full attention. “Tomorrow being Sunday and all, your Momma has something to tell you.” She poured herself a mug of steaming water to accompany the powdered cocoa mix and let Shego take center stage. The older woman bowed where she sat to show her acceptance of the heavy responsibility.

“Pixies, we are not going home today.”

The twins wore identical expressions of shock. Their eyes traveled between each parent for confirmation as if they had just been given incontrovertible proof that the Moon was made of cheese.

“Really?”

“Hey,” Kim held up her hands and smirked. “She’s the boss. I’m only a sidekick.”

“Really, Momma?”

“Yep!”

“But, we’ve just…”

“… cooked all the food.”

“Trust me, we’ve covered that already. No need to make them sit through all that again.”

Kasy furrowed her brow.

“Who’s them, Momma?”

“Never mind.” Shego answered in a singsong voice and she reached out to tweak the little girl’s nose. Kim said nothing and blew on her cocoa to cool it down; she smiled to herself at Shego’s blatant disregard for The Fourth Wall. The twins just shrugged to each other. It was just one more mysterious parental statement as far as they were concerned. Sheki, in her baggy PJ top, looked up at her Momma.

“What will we do today if we’re not going home?”

“Whatever you want. We can hike or we can chill or we can do Pixie stuff or we can read some comic books I brought… real ones, Kimmie, I swear. Code approved and everything.” She didn’t want her Princess to aspirate her hot cocoa and Kim had looked ready to inhale a mouthful. “Anything. Everything!” She looked down at the girl in her lap. “At least after Stinky’s clothes dry out.”

“Ha-ha! Momma called you Stinky!”

“Am not!”

“Kasy, Pixies are not stinky.” Kim took a deep breath of the mountain air. Lord, this place was beautiful. She was glad to be here for another day. From two rocks over, Shego continued to explain.

“And all it will cost you is to clean some fish for dinner.”

They looked at each other, then back at their Momma.

“No big.”

“So not the drama.”

“Not afraid of a little fish guts?”

“So not!”

“We’ve scaled and cleaned fish before.” Kasy reached up and thumbed a badge pinned to her vest. “It was part of our woodland survival skills training.”

“Uh-huh.” The pale green woman had noticed the flash of authentic smugness on her Pumpkin’s face. The expression might have been interpreted as merely parental pride by anyone who didn’t know the real Kim Possible very well.

“So I guess that you already earned your ‘Fish-Stunning’ badges?”

The girls’ faces lit up with surprise and Kim’s clouded over with dismay.

“Wow!”

“Spank’n!”

“…Judas Priest…”

“That would be so…”

“… cool! Does that mean…”

“… that we get to use…”

“… our plasma powers?”

“That’s right, kiddoes!”

“YAY!”

“Girls, chill. Your Momma is just gonna show you a new way to fish.”

“We get to blast fish?!!”

Kim grimaced.

“Pretty much.”

“YAAAAAY!!”

“No blasting! Kimmie, cut that out.” Shego huffed and rolled her eyes. “We aren’t going to ‘blast’ anything. We’re going to just stun the fish.”

“Oh.” The twins looked at each other and shrugged. “That’s ok, too.”

“Shego, it’s one thing for you to…”

“And then later today we’ll do this for real so that we can kill and eat them.”

“YAAY!”

“No one’s even listing to me. I give up.” The older redhead sipped her cocoa and looked into the mug for insight. There was none forthcoming. The twins each slammed back the rest of their own cocoa and Sheki scrambled into her dried clothes. Kim fought to think of something more to say but finally just shook her head in resignation.

“Be careful that you don’t get wet, again.”

“Your Pixie Scout Leader is right. It’s just us girls so we’ll do this in our skivvies.” Shego ruffled Kasy’s hair and they both waited for Sheki to finish getting dressed. The former thief and mercenary was heartened to see that opposed though she might be initially, Kimmie couldn’t be totally repelled by the idea if the hero gave in so quickly.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, we’ll be very careful.”

“Please and thank you.” Kim sighed and helped her raven-haired daughter keep the untidy mess of black tresses free as the little girl finished buttoning her shirt and Pixie vest. The child must have misinterpreted the action because no sooner had she taken her Momma’s hand than she turned back towards the campfire.

“Can Mommy come, too?”

“Oh, thank you, baby.” The older redhead smiled and started to clean up the remains of breakfast. “But no thank you. I’ll help you clean the fish later this afternoon when you bring some back for real, but right now your Momma is running the show.”

“Besides… we don’t want to contribute to Mommy’s brain damage.”

“Grrrrr.”

“Don’t worry, Princess. They’re in good hands.” Shego winked and her wife returned a rueful wink of her own.

“I know. Have fun.”

“Come on, Pixies. Let’s beat cheeks.” The green members of the Possible family held hands and marched towards the river.

88888888

“… so this guy walks into a psychiatrists office and lays down on the therapy couch.”

“Uh, huh.” Kim finished unraveling the wires to her ear buds and set them down beside her Kimmunicator. “Go on.”

“And he says, ‘Doc, I’ve been having the strangest dream!’”

Shego finished piling their scant garbage in a heap beside the fire ring; it would get burnt later that night between the fish course and the marshmallow course of dinner.

“Do tell?”

“So the psychiatrist says, ‘Tell me about your dream.’” Kasy gestured with her hands to pantomime a person taking notes on a clipboard as she sat beside her twin on a log beside the fire pit. Sheki did her best to mimic a person suffering from mental troubles but it looked more like mild stomach discomfort to the casual observer.

“So the guy says, ‘In my dream, I’m a wigwam.’”

“‘I see,’ says the doctor.”

“But then the man says, ‘Then I turn into a teepee.’”

“So the doctor says, ‘Oh, really?’”

“‘And then I turn back into a wigwam,’ the man says.”

“‘How often does this happen?’ the doctor asks.”

“‘All night long,’ the man says. ‘First I’m a wigwam, and then I’m a teepee…’”

“‘… and then a wigwam, and then a teepee, then a wigwam, then a teepee!’”

“And the doctor looks at the man…” Both girls hold forth their hands, framing the expectation of the moment. The ‘rents exchange a secretive glance; Kim gives a wink and Shego mutters sotto voce.

“… wait for it…”

“… and he says, ‘Relax, relax… you’re too tense!’”

The adults turn to each other, startling revelation etched across their faces.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Kim fell to her knees and rolled over onto her side next to Shego, the larger woman clutched at her stomach and sucking in ragged breaths as she rolled across the ground letting her head loll in helpless peals of laughter.

“!”

“Wasn’t that funny?” The twins searched their parents’ strained faces for approval. Shego barely managed a thumbs-up but Kim found the strength to choke out some appreciative praise.

“That… heehee… that was… gag, wheeze… that was a good one!”

“You really liked it?”

“It was… hehehe… spanking!”

“Booyah!” The girls slapped palms while their mother laughed so hard that she felt tears running down her cheeks. She slowed her breathing enough to speak but Shego was still caught in a fit of jocularity.

“How about you two…”

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“… collect just a little more wood for tonight’s fire while I give your Momma CPR.” She gestured down to where Shego lay gasping several yards away. “Then we can all just relax and vegetate for a bit.”

“Kay!” The twins scampered off in different directions… but almost immediately regrouped and began to inspect the base of each nearby tree. Kim clambered over to her wife and commenced to poke her in the side.

“Psst.”

“HEHEHEHEHEHE…!”

“PSST!! Hey!”

“HEHEHE… what?”

“You can stop now. They’re gone.”

“Oh, thank God.” The pale green woman rolled over and got up onto her knees, brushing herself free of dust. “I couldn’t keep that up a moment longer.”

“You did a pretty good job.” Kim looked over and made sure that the girls weren’t listening. “Very convincing.”

“It was either that or vomit.”

“That has got to be the worst joke I’ve ever heard.”

“Worse than any of Stoppable’s, that’s for sure.”

“How did you know it was coming?”

“I heard them practicing earlier.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

“No big.” She caught Kim’s grin. “Do not laugh at me, it’s your fault that I picked up those stupid phrases.”

“Sorry. Thanks, again.”

“You’re welcome.” Shego shrugged. “I guess I kind of owed you for letting me teach them how to stun fish.”

“How did that go?”

“Not too good.” The former villain actually looked embarrassed.

“Do I want to know?” The hero felt a little sick. Even Shego looked a tad greener.

“Let’s just say that Mrs. Paul could’ve gotten herself some deep-fried fish sticks out there awhile ago.”

“Oh, Lord!” Kim buried her face in her hands.

“Not to worry, Kimmie, not to worry.” Shego pulled her mate’s hands down. “I told the girls that their aim was off and that they’d missed their targets.” The woman blanched. “There wasn’t really enough, um… evidence… left over to make them think otherwise. I think that I’ll save the next stun lesson for later.”

“How much later?”

Shego thought about it for a second.

“Howzabout for another three to four years?”

Kim had to smile.

“Good idea. I suppose I should be glad that you didn’t have them practice on me.”

“Not funny, Kim. I really thought that I had a good idea for doing something with them.” She sighed. “Just the three of us, together.”

“I know you did. And they loved it, I’m sure. Just… let’s not tell them the truth.”

“Agreed!”

“And please keep your voice down.”

“What? Why do we need to be quiet?”

“I told them I was giving you CPR.”

“Shit, in that case,” Her hand went up to her forehead. “Oh, Kimmie! I feel faint!”

“Come on.” Kim stood, pulling a frowning Shego with her. “You’re ok.”

“I want artificial respiration!” She pouted.

“Nothing doing.” Kim has hit with sudden inspiration. “But if you behave yourself I can arrange for a pelvic exam tonight in our tent.”

“Nice! Do they cover that under first aid in the Pixie Scout manual?”

“Naw. It’s something I picked up back in cheerleading camp.”

“Oh, well that… huh?!?” Shego did a triple take. “What did you say?!”

Kim said nothing and casually slipped in her ear buds.

“Kimmie? What did you mean by that?” Her question was pointedly ignored as the redhead popped the jack into the port on the side of her Kimmunicator and thumbed the toggle to call up the menu screen.

“Answer me, Kim! What happened back in cheerleading camp?!”

The petite woman selected ‘random’ and let the stored music play. Shego watched in muted shock as her young wife settled back and closed her eyes.

“Kim!”

Payback’s a bitch, Kim thought. And so am I!

88888888

“Anyone for a hike?”

Kim tugged the tiny speakers out of her ears; surely she hadn’t heard when she’d thought she had heard.

“You?”

“m’Yeah.” Shego shrugged. “Why not?”

“Really?”

“Sure. A little bit of nature before we all totally zone out for the rest of the day.”

“You?”

“Darn it, Kim. I’ve asked you to cut that out!”

The sun was well past its zenith and the children were getting restless. They’d collected more wood than would be needed for that evening’s fire and it was still hours from when they’d need to start catching and cleaning any fish. The beautiful morning had stretched into a gorgeous day and Kimberly Anne Possible felt rooted to her resting place against the log. Younger minds weren’t so easily succumbed and the girls had been chasing each other around the campsite for several minutes. Apparently it wasn’t only the younger minds that could resist the lassitude.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s not fair of me. Do you really want to take the girls out?”

“Well…” The former villain had changed into her denim shorts and one long and shapely pale green leg stood out in contrast against the blue fabric as Shego scuffed her foot in the dirt around the fire pit. “If they want to.”

“PIXIES!”

“Geez, mien Fuhrer, you don’t have to y…”

“Pixie Scout Kasy, reporting for assault!”

“Pixie Scout Sheki, reporting for battery!”

“Ghaa!” Shego flinched; the twins had immediately appeared at her side. “Girls! Please don’t do that!” She knelt down to meet their gaze. “You’ll scare your poor Momma out of ten years growth.”

“Sorry, Momma.”

“SOWWY!”

“S’ok, Team Spaz…”

“She-GO!”

“… it’s just that I thought only your Mommy was the only one to haul her skinny rump like that when called into action.”

“Please.” Kim huffed but her mate wasn’t listening.

“Gonna rename her ‘Pavlov’.”

“So not the drama!” The redhead shook her head and focused on her daughters. “Girls, we’ve got all day to do whatever you want. Your Momma wants to know if you’d like to go on a hike with her.”

“YAY!” The little redhead clapped her hands together and bounced up and down. Her twin looked just as happy but with more than a hint of incredulity in her expression and in her tone.

“Hiking with Momma?”

“Yep.”

“Are you coming, too?”

“Nope. Gonna sit on my skinny rump and vege out and listen to some tunes.”

The twins’ doubt was palpable.

“So… just us and… Momma?”

“Hey, what am I? Chopped liver?” Shego blushed a little from embarrassed frustration. “Anything your Mommy can do, I can do! We have fun doing stuff together!”

Shego didn’t mention the fish stunning incident.

“… which is why I am evoking clause ‘oh-you-eight-one-two’ of the Pixie Powers Act of 1937 and appointing your Momma temporary Pixie Scout Leader for the duration of this so-called ‘hike’.” The reclining hero made sure to add her air-quotes.

“Momma’s going to be Pixie Scout Leader?”

“Until you guys get back, she is.”

“Cool!”

“Yeah, cool!”

“Now that’s more like it. Finally, I get some respect around here.”

“So be sure to take real good care of her, and see that she doesn’t get lost or hurt.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“We will, Mommy.”

“Son of a…!” The former villain checked her own words this time and didn’t need to be reminded to watch her language; it was a long standing rule of the Possible family that there would be no cursing around the children. Even Kim was confident of this and made no move to remind Shego to be careful. Still, she refused to pass up a chance to give her spouse a razzing.

“Kiss, kiss!”

“Whatever. Ok, you little Piggie Snouts…”

“Momma, it’s…”

“… Pixie Scouts!”

Shego reached down and playfully ruffled their hair.

“For the next thousand miles it is what I say it is.”

“Keep it down to a few hundred miles, please and thank you… there’s still the fishing and the cleaning and the cooking before it gets too dark.”

“Jawohl, mein schatzi.” Black glossed lips parted and even if the sun itself had been bordered in black, nothing would have been as bright as Shego’s smile right then. The smile slipped into rueful introspection as she turned around and surveyed the edge of the forest and the foothills and mountains beyond.

“So, where should we…”

Kim chuckled; she’d been waiting for the realization to dawn on her mate that desire and initiative did not an experienced Pixie make.

“The girls know all the best paths. You’re in charge but they’ll show you the way to go.”

Shego nodded. There was no point in being snide. She knew she was out of her element.

“Please and thank you!”

“Didn’t you and Momma ever do any camping?”

“No, Kasy, we didn’t do any camping.” Kim saw the pale green woman open her mouth to speak but the younger woman quickly squelched that. “My stakeouts with Uncle Ron and your casing of likely targets do not count.”

“You say so.” Shego shrugged and sat down to join her family. It was Sheki who spoke up next.

“But what did you used to do when we were babies?”

“Mostly clean poopie diapers.”

“Momma!”

“No, she’s right.” Kim chimed in. “In all my years of babysitting, I never knew two munchkins who pooped as much as you two did.”

“EW!”

“It’s that comet-powered constitution, Pumpkin.”

“More like constipation.”

“EWWW!!”

“It wasn’t their fault, Kimmie. They gained a pretty radical metabolism along with their plasma.”

“It wasn’t plasma I was cleaning off my hands.”

“EEWWWW!!” The twins shivered at the hideous image this evoked and Kasy steered the conversation back around to the original point. “But… before we were born. What about then?”

“What about it?”

“What did you do then? Before you had us?” The question was an idle one and the children might not have even pressed for an answer had their question been ignored… but the women pursed their lips and grimaced.

“Oh…”

“Oh…”

“Oh…”

“Nothing much.”

“Nothing.”

“Not much of anything.”

“Sat around.”

“Boring.”

“Very boring.”

“Watched television.”

“Movies.”

“Books.”

“Kimmie, you never read a book in your life ‘til you met me.”

“We sparred a lot.” Kim gave every syllable a punch and her eyes were daggers.

“Kiss, kiss.”

“And worked out. Your Momma needs all the exercise she can get.”

Shego rolled her eyes.

“Now you’re just being mean.”

“Will you tell us?”

The adults shared a look.

“Tell you… what?”

“Tell us about when we were born.”

“Hey,” said Shego, crossing her arms. “I thought we were going on a hike!”

“I can tell you a story tonight,” said Kim. “About when we brought you home from the hospital.”

“Can we hear about how we were born?”

The girls began nodding eagerly and Kim’s jaw became slack. An innocent enough request but she had always hoped to avoid this day, possibly forever. The truth was hardly the worst even in her life but the twins were still much too young to attempt to comprehend past events that even now made some of their older relatives shake their heads in amazement. Kim knew that she was freaking out and forced herself to focus. This was very sudden and she’d thought she’d hade years to make the facts presentable; she had to think of something quick before her pause became awkweird. She could only imagine how the girls’ question had affected Shego.

As it turned out, Shego didn’t give her much time to wonder.

“I’ve got one.” There was nothing but the strength of self-confidence in Shego’s tone. If Kim could have suffered from a simultaneous petite mal in each hemisphere of her brain, she would have.

“You want to tell them?”

“Yes.”

“About when they were born?”

“Kim, do you love me?”

“Yeah, ok. OW!” Kim pulled her leg back after Shego gave it a swat. “Yes! Of course, you goof, you know I do.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Most of the time.”

“How about when it comes to our children?” Her tone was softer, not quite beseeching. So was Kim’s, more than a little assuring.

“Always.”

“Then, yep. I’ve got a story for them.” Those emerald eyes narrowed and starred pointedly into the matching orbs of her soul mate. “A story about when they were born.”

“A story.” Kim briefly pondered the implications. Curiosity gripped her. “Ok, sweetheart. We’re listening.”

“Alrighty, then. Here goes.” She took a breath. “Once upon a time…”

“Momma!”

“No fair!”

“What?”

“You were going to tell us a REAL story!”

“I am.” Shego blinked, confused. “What’s wrong?”

“You don’t begin a REAL story with ‘once upon a time’!”

“You don’t?”

“No!”

“No!”

“Not usually.”

“Kimberly Ann Possible…!” The former villains vast repertoire of comebacks failed her for once. “You just shush!”

“Sorry, sweetheart, you’re right. It’s your story and you tell it however you want.” Kim pointed to the girls. “So we’ll just sit back and be quiet, right?”

“Yes, Mommy!”

“OKAY!”

“Then without further eloquence… once upon a time… there was a beautiful girl. Not just any girl, she was a princess.”

“Was she pretty?”

“Was she? Doy!” Shego rolled her eyes and stretched out her arms to encompass everything around them. “She was only the prettiest Princess in the land!”

“Ooh!”

“Aah!”

“I already feed you and let you sleep in the house. Why would you butter me up now?”

“Silence! Now where was I… oh, yes… she was the prettiest princess in the land. Her hair was like fire and her eyes were like sparkling jade. Her flawless skin was smooth and gave her a rosy glow everywhere she went. Her gentle mouth was quick to smile when she was happy and she was never more than a few seconds away from a laugh. She wasn’t very tall but she was strong for her size and she could run as fast as any of the kingdom’s fastest scouts.”

“Girls, don’t let your Momma mislead you.” Kim’s blush was barely held in check. “Don’t mistake a nice appearance for competence. It also takes brains to succeed in this world.”

“Yes, Mommy.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Then not to fear, my Pixies, because the Beautiful Princess was also very, very smart!”

“Shego, don’t tease.”

“Kim! You shock me! I never tease. She was as fast with her brain as she was on her feet, able to navigate circuitous logic to reach a desirable outcome as quickly as she could work her way through a maze. If her thoughts were not deep… well, at least they were fast and no one could stop her.”

“Ooooooooo!”

“Furthermore, she knew the ONE THING that often keeps people from reaching their full potential. She was very much aware of her limitations. She never let them stop her. If she didn’t know something, she learned it. If there was a skill she did not have, she trained for it and if somebody else knew something that she did not know, she would listen to them. It was this valuable trait that gave the Beautiful Princess all the power she would ever need.”

“Cool!”

“Spankn!”

“Girls, one might almost say that the Beautiful Princess could do anything.”

“Ooooooooo!”

“I think that you’re making her sound better than she really was.”

“I don’t see how, Pumpkin. Her father was a man of great learning and her mother was a master of the healing arts. She even had twin brothers who were as brilliant and had been loved every bit as much as she was and raised in the exact same way… but they weren’t heroes.” The woman shook her head. “The Princess was special. She was smart and charming and beautiful and kind and brave…” Shego was grasping for adjectives but she didn’t have to try too hard; the twins were enrapt and hung on her every word. Kim was a little more skeptical.

“You’re losing your touch.”

“… in fact the only bad thing in her life was that she occasionally dated the village idiot.”

“There’s the zing. You had me worried.”

“The main thing was that this Princess was so smart and caring that she spent her entire life, every waking moment, taking care of people too weak or frightened to take care of themselves.”

“She was really a hero, Momma?” Sheki asked the question with something akin to awe.

“Munchkin, I can safely say that the Princess was loved and adored by almost everybody.”

“EVERYBODY!”

“Indoor voice, young lady.” Shego looked away from Kasy and at the forest around them. “Ok, technically, we’re outdoors but please do not yell.” She waited until the little redhead nodded her understanding and then continued. “I said almost everyone because there was one man… one evil and sinister troll who lived beyond the borders of the kingdom in his hidden lair…”

“That was so conveniently located on the Lowerton bus route.”

“It made grocery shopping easier. Now let me tell my story!”

“Sorry.”

“Anyway, this one bad man was known as the Blue Troll because he practiced dark arts and black sorceries and his magical experiments had long since turned his skin a deep, lustrous blue.”

“Oooh, pretty!”

“Not as much as you might think. He was a crazy troll, the Blue Troll was, and all day and night he made plans and potions and weird devices to try and stop the Beautiful Princess.” The woman made her voice sound as ominous as she could. “But that’s not all. For all his power and wizardly might, he could never have taken on the Beautiful Princess in hand-to-hand combat… for she had much training in the ways of battle and would often spar with the courtly knights and guards of the kingdom.”

“Like the self-defense training you and Mommy teach us?”

“Exactly that. He couldn’t even karate chop a box of dry spaghetti. She would have cleaned his clock.”

“Oooooooh.”

“But…” Shego held up her hand. “The Blue Troll had his own warrior. She was his bodyguard and his personal thief and he would send her out to steal the things he needed for his magic.”

“You said ‘she’, Momma.”

“It was a girl?”

“Not just a girl. She was the Emerald Witch.”

“Ooooooooo.”

Shego leaned in close so that she could reach her daughters.

“The Emerald Witch didn’t look like anything anyone had ever seen before.” She lifted Kasi’s hand and they all examined it. “Her skin was pale green and flawless, seeming to glow from within.” Then she ran her fingers gently through Sheki’s tresses. “And her hair was black as midnight and as long and flowing as a cape woven from ravens wings.”

“Oooooooo.”

“Oooooooo.”

“…ooooo…”

“You say something, Kimmie?”

“Huh? Me?” Kim blushed. “No. Nothing. Continue.”

“Right-o! To continue, the Blue Troll paid the Emerald Witch to do all of his fighting for him. She was fast and she was clever and no one else in the entire kingdom was as fast or as clever as she, except for…” Shego waved her hands expectantly.

“The Beautiful Princess!”

“Exactly! At least part of the time.”

“… heh, you wish…”

“Was she mean, Momma?”

“The Emerald Witch?”

“Uh-huh.”

“She was mean… but not cruel. She was bad without being truly evil.” Her eyes scrolled back about nine years. “Her heart was a cold lump of stone wrapped in barbed wire and sprinkled with those little bits of glass that you always find on the road near garbage cans even though you know for a fact that you haven’t thrown away anything made of glass in a long time.” She broke her self-induced reverie. “Got me?”

“Yep!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“She was one bad mother fu…”

“SHEGO!”

“Hey, I’m just talking ‘bout the Emerald Witch.” The smirk flashed. “So one day the Emerald Witch was sent out by the Blue Troll to steal something that would help him rule the world, and…”

“What was it?”

“What was what?”

The twins shook their heads in irritation.

“What was the Witch…”

“…going to steal?”

Shego rubbed her chin in thought.

“I don’t remember. Kimmie, do you remember what it was?”

“She-go, don’t forget that this is a sto-ry!”

“Oh.” The green woman paled a bit further. “That’s right.” She looked at her waiting children. “It was the dreaded Tempus Simia, an ancient artifact that allowed the user to control the flow of time.”

“Ooooooo.”

“I’m pretty sure it wasn’t, baby.”

“Look, this is my story and I don’t remember what it was and if it’s not going to be that then it’s going to be the Brass Monkey… that funky monkey… so bugger off, please and thank you!”

“… just trying to help, is all…”

“ANYWAY! Sheesh! You almost made me forget the most important part of the story.” Shego took a deep breath and did her best to wipe the anxiety from her face as she gently took her daughters hands in hers. “Girls… there’s something that you need to know about… me… from before I married your Mommy.” She screwed up her courage and plowed on. “I was…”

“Were you the Emerald Witch, Momma?”

Sheki scowled and elbowed her twin in the ribs.

“Doy!”

“OW! Mommy!”

“Momma only just described herself to us, doofus!”

“She hit me… and called me a name!”

Shego was stunned but Kim came to her rescue.

“Baby, please take a time out while I put the girls heads together and hopefully get more out of them than a hollow coconut sound.”

“Um, ok.” The older woman leaned back on her haunches as Kim scooted forward and turned the little girls around so that could better face each other; she would take center stage while affording her mate a brief respite.

“First of all, Miss Sheki Go Possible, there will be no hitting or calling of names.” She aimed a finger at the girl. “What do we say?”

“Sorry.”

“And from you?”

“Accepted.” Kasi frowned. “But she got in a two for one!”

“Do you want to hit her?”

The twins eyes shot wide open at their Mommy’s smirk. Kasi looked scandalized. Sheki looked shocked and Shego thanked God for having such a crazy family.

“No!”

“Then call her a name and we’ll call it even.” Kim cocked her head. “Keep it clean.”

“Boogerhead.” The taunt was weak and cursory; neither child was concerned.

“Good. Second of all, remember that this is a story. Do you have any questions for your Momma before she finishes her story?”

“Were you the Beautiful Princess, Mommy?”

“I suppose that I was, yeah.” Kim blushed. “Some people thought so.”

“Hey! She’s still beautiful. Raise your hand if you think that Mommy’s a knockout.” Shego raised her own hand and two smaller hands quickly joined it. Kim’s blush deepened.

“And I know about a thousand others that’d agree with us.” The former villain’s tone bode no argument; she had regained her confidence and was ready to continue. “Did you have any questions for your Mommy and me?”

“You and Mommy used to fight each other?”

“Only once an a while.” She turned to her embarrassed wife. “Kim?”

“Hm?”

“Shall we give them a demonstration?”

“Oh, sure.” Kim propped herself up and leaned in close to Shego. The adults raised their arms and began swatting carelessly and quite ineffectually at each other. The children giggled at the harmless display and didn’t notice the ruefully amused expressions on their mothers’ faces.

“Mommy, that’s silly!”

“Yeah, it was, most of the time.” Kim grinned. “Go ahead and bring it home, baby.”

“Your wish is my command, angel. As I was saying, the feisty Emerald Witch,” Shego waved her hand to indicate herself, “and the valiant Beautiful Princess,” she mussed Kim’s hair into a tangle but the hero sat beaming nevertheless, “did butt heads on more than one occasion because of their differing worldviews on the matter of ‘right and wrong’. The Witch was older and wiser but the Princess was a fast thinker and never, EVER let anything stop her.”

“Ooooooooo!”

“But then one day the Blue Troll had an idea. It was a new idea that was supposed to keep the Beautiful Princess from ever being able to stand in his way again!”

“What was he gonna do?!”

“Was he gonna hurt Mo… the Beautiful Princess?!”

Was that a hint of green fire dancing around the twins clenched fists?

“No, not exactly. His plan was to just make her stop being a hero, to make her powerless and normal like everyone else and not have the desire to stand in his way to achieve world domination ever again!”

“Ooooooo!”

“He worked great magic and wove a spell that was so mighty that it required a little bit of blood from the Emerald Witch to make it work.”

“Owie!”

“This one day, in the heat of battle during an attempt to steal… something or other… the Emerald Witch followed the Blue Troll’s evil command to bite the Beautiful Princess on the arm.”

Twin pairs of green eyes narrowed skeptically.

“Bite her?”

“On the arm?”

“Kimmie?”

Kim held up the limb in question and waggled her fingers.

“Yep. The scar is long gone or I’d show you exactly where.”

“It was the shoulder, right?”

“Either that or the forearm. I’m a little fuzzy on that.”

“Then what happened?”

“Well, Mommy started to feel a little sick after a few weeks, and…”

“Are you telling this story now sweetheart, or am I?”

“… oopsie…”

“Your Mommy is right, though. After a few weeks, the Beautiful Princess knew that something was wrong. She didn’t feel bad exactly…”

“… she just felt like kneeling at the porcelain alter every morning to summon the Earl with a Technicolor yawn.”

“Shush Kimmie, I’m almost finished.” Shego once again drew in close to the children. “The Beautiful Princess was not sick and she was not hurt. Her mother and father had her tested by all of the learned scholars of the kingdom and they declared her to be perfectly healthy.”

“But what was a’matter with her?” Kasy asked the question and Sheki could only sit there in silent anticipation; the twins were obviously concerned so Shego decided to let them off the hook.

“The Beautiful Princess was going to have a baby.”

“A… baby?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Really?”

“Yup.”

“That’s why the Emerald Witch bit her?”

“No. The Emerald Witch bit the Beautiful Princess because that’s what the Blue Troll told her to do. She didn’t know what would happen.” Shego shot a glance at Kim. “Honestly.”

“We are so NOT going over that again! Finish already!”

“Working on it… so, when the Beautiful Princess discovered that she was going to have a baby, she was very frightened at first. What would it mean for her life and plans? She was still very young herself, the Princess was, and even with a loving family and great friends there would be many drastic changes in her life.”

“Was she still a hero?”

“The bestest hero in the kingdom. But you can’t save the world when you’re going to have a baby.” Shego held their gaze. “You remember your teacher, Mrs. Brach? She had trouble climbing stairs or standing for too long before she had her baby. Now imagine trying to swing from the tether of a grappling gun hook when you’re pregnant!”

“What did the…”

“… Emerald Witch do when…”

“… she found out about…”

“… the baby, Momma?”

Shego took a deep breath before she spoke again.

“The Witch was shocked. She was sickened to learn what had been done to the Beautiful Princess. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, bad or terrible about having a baby but now the Emerald Witch realized that she had been part of something truly evil and that something pure and natural was being used as a weapon.” The older woman looked to her mate but Kim’s eyes were a million miles away. “She was very sorry and her first act was to turn over a new leaf and ask the Beautiful Princess for forgiveness.”

“Did the Emerald Witch turn good, Momma?”

“Not at first… but her heart warmed up and the barbed wire melted away and the little bits of mystery glass all vanished.”

“Did she become a hero like the Beautiful Princess?”

“Again, not right away. Her first new mission was to protect the Beautiful Princess from other crazies like the Blue Troll. They came out of the woodwork to try and hurt her in her time of need.”

“… you ain’t kidding…”

“They had many adventures and they became closer and closer friends. It wasn’t all peaches and cream but after many months of physical trials and emotional turmoil the day finally came when the Beautiful Princess knew that it was time.”

“Time for what, Momma?”

“Time to have her babies!” Shego threw up her hands in mock exasperation. “Doy!”

“Babies? Momma, you…”

“… said that the Beautiful…”

“…Princess was gonna have…”

“… a baby! As in one. As…”

“… in singular!”

“So sue me.” Long and powerful arms were crossed and the former villain looked down on them from where she sat. “As it happens, there were two little bundles of joy brought into the world that day. Two perfect little babies that glowed with the magical powers of the Emerald Witch and that also shone with the unbridled energy of the Beautiful Princess. They were identical twins… except one had the Princess red hair and the other had the Witch’s black tresses.”

“Um, that goes against the whole ‘identical’ aspect, you know?”

“SHH!” Shego jabbed a finger at her wife and Kim just rolled her eyes. “When I want your opinion, Gregor Mendel, I’ll gamahuche it out of you.” She looked at the children. “What matters is that the babies were healthy and happy and the Beautiful Princess and the Emerald Witch knew that they now had their work cut out for them… because the greatest adventure would be to make a family. A family that would love and support each other.”

Sheki brightened.

“A family of heroes, Momma?”

“Uh… well, um…”

“Tell her how you really feel, sweetheart. Answer from your heart.”

Shego acknowledged her wife with a silent glance before replying.

“Yes. They were all heroes.”

“Even the Emerald Witch?” Kasi had her little fingers laced together, fidgeting anxiously.

“Yeah. Even her. But she didn’t make a big deal out of it.”

“YAY!”

“So tell me, Emera… baby, is there a moral to your story?” Kim gently ran her nails down the part of Shego’s leg that she could reach. The older woman let her, enjoying the simple contact before speaking.

“If I had to give it a moral, it would probably be that true love is never awkweird. But that’s not the most important thing. The really important thing is that they lived…?”

Three voices answered immediately.

“HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!”

“That’s right!”

“YAAAAAY!”

“The En…”

“Wait, baby.” Kim held out one slender hand. “Don’t say it.”

“Huh? Why not?”

“Because it isn’t yet. The…you know. Ok?”

“Oh, ok. So, girls, how was that? Was it ok?”

“It was great!”

“Yeah! It was so cool!”

“Really?” Shego hadn’t known quite what to expect.

“It was cool.”

“Can we go hiking now?” Kasy was almost bouncing with pent up energy.

“Um…. Yeah. Yeah, sure.” Shego was not so much nonplussed as relieved. “Give me a minute to lace up my boots and we’ll hit the trails.”

“Yay!” The little redhead jumped to her feet. Her sister sat still for a moment longer.

“Momma?”

“Yes, sweet pea?”

“Is getting bitten on the arm really how babies are made?”

“Uh, Kimmie, could you…?”

“Nothing doing.” The hero untangled her ear buds again and smirked. “You get to put that genie back in the bottle all by yourself.”

“Then that will be a story for another time… and your Mommy can tell it!” Shego brushed her hands together, making a show of distance between herself and that future tale. “Girls, you’d best get your packs ready with anything you’ll think we’d need on our hike.”

“Ok!” They ran off to their tent and disappeared inside. Kim stretched out her leg and brushed her shin against the thigh of her spouse.

“You’ve had that prepared for some time, haven’t you?”

“Guilty as charged. You like it?”

“I loved it. And it will serve as the real deal ‘til they’re old enough to understand the truth.”

“I hope so, Princess, because even I’m not ready for that!” The tall woman reached out and stroked Kim’s toned leg. “No way can I do that alone.” Shego grew somber. “Kim, what happened that day… what happened that brought these two little miracles into our lives…”

“Baby, you need to stop doing this to yourself. You know how I feel.”

“I know, I know. What I mean is… whatever happened and no matter how I do still feel about it… it’s something between you and I that only time will heal for me. But as far as those two Pixies are concerned,” she jabbed her thumb towards the girls’ tent. “It wasn’t an accident. You made two…”

“We.” Kim stressed the word. “We made them.”

“… we… made two beautiful babies. Absolutely perfect. They are not just the side effects of some stupid scheme and they are not m-m-m-mista…” Her throat convulsed and her words where choked off, otherwise the spasm of guilt did not reach her face.

Shego could count on the fingers of one hand how many times she had cried in her life. She prided herself on this, albeit for the wrong reasons as she was well aware. She might have stayed frozen in that posture had not a small but dangerously strong hand gently taken hold of hers and raise it to soft lips. Shego lifted her gaze in time to see the lips graze the back of her hand and felt the teeth behind them drag tauntingly across her knuckles. Kim’s eyes held the glimmering sheen of those tears that Shego would not allow herself the luxury of shedding, but there was nothing bittersweet about it, just the irony of a deep and heartfelt love.

“I bet you say that to all the girls.”

“No, Princess. Just you.” Her own powerful hand squeezed the smaller one. “Thank you.”

“Welcome. Love you.”

“Good God, Princess, I love you, too.”

“Did you really an all those cutesy things that you said about me?”

The pale green woman’s black glossed lips danced in a smirk.

“You mean in my story?”

“Yes.” Kim felt defensive in asking; she was setting herself up for being teased and knew it but a little teasing was a small price to pay for lightening the mood.

“If my Pixie Scout Leader has any doubts, I’ll be glad to tell my story again tonight in her tent. That was the G-Rated version. There’s also an R-Rated version.”

Kim felt the warmth of lust course through her veins.

“Only R-Rated?”

“Well, I didn’t pack any of our toys! R-Rated is all you get, missy!”

“Please and thank you!” The redhead quivered and Shego rose to her feet. The tall woman called over her shoulder.

“You ready, girls?”

“READY!!” The twins each appeared from different sides of their tent, running at full speed. They looked every inch the experienced and capable Pixie Scouts that they were.

“Then you’ll need these.” The tall woman removed two items from her jacket pocket and handed one to each child. The twins accepted them hesitantly at first but puzzlement quickly turned to glee as they unfolded the black plastic objects and placed them on their faces.

“Shego, what are you doing?”

The statuesque woman cocked her hip and gave no other indication that she’d heard Kim speak. Instead, she flipped open her own matching set of sunglasses and rested them across the bridge of her nose.

“Pixies… it's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.” She looked down at her daughters expectantly… and was not disappointed.

“HIT IT!!”

With Shego in the lead, the three pale green females marched away from the fire pit and towards the awaiting line of trees. Kim watched curiously as her family moved farther and farther away, eventually leaving her sight altogether. She did get the evil pleasure of seeing her wife move aside to let the children blaze a trail among the scrub and woodland that had to look all the same to Shego. All too soon, Kim found herself alone with her thoughts and her tunes.

She sighed.

“Freaky comet shit, that’s what it is.” And then laughed as she settled back to doze and dream until her loves returned to her for the warmth and wholeness of their family. Until then it was, really and finally…

The End

Author’s Note: Here is the third and final installment of my story for Starvinglunatic. You can check her out at FFdN and even DA. Once again I repeat my acknowledgement that the characters of Kasy Ann Possible and Sheki Go Possible are the intellectual property of Nodrogs. I have bought into their creation hook, line and sinker; his original ‘A Small Possibility’ is the basis for my “Who’s Writing This Crap?’ Kigoverse.

Shego’s fairytale leading up to the twins’ birth was first mentioned at the end of my story ‘Extra Onions’. At that point I had obligated myself to actually writing the fairytale. I hope you enjoyed that little story within a story. I also hope that you didn’t groan too loudly at the ‘two tense’ joke. I cannot recall where I heard that but it was a long time ago.

As a few of you have already commented, the Humbug doesn’t know shit about first aid or making fire by hand or any number of wilderness survival skills. I wasn’t offended, just a bit embarrassed maybe, but heartened to see that no one said that it ruined the story.

Please excuse any bits borrowed from other sources like The Blues Brothers at the end.

By the time you read this, I hope to be at the end of a horribly long and painful dry spell. I sincerely miss writing as often as I used to… and I was always a slow writer at the best of times. Halloween is coming up and my next project (before returning to all the rest of my unfinished works) will be a sequel to an old story, ‘Off The Rack’. So until then, be well!