Naruto (c) Masashi Kishimoto

Dedication: Sara and Hyphinated, who adore SuiKa :)

“Ah! Karin! Hahaha! Stop it! The water’s cold!” the pink haired girl shouted, trying in vain to stop the torrent of water. Karin smirked.

“Not in your wildest dreams Sakura!” Karin shouted, pushing her thumb on the open end of the hose.

Of course this was across the street; it was Saturday, warm and sunny, there were no cars so my friend and I could hear perfectly the shouts of the two best friends. More like demonesses from hell. They were given sweet innocent names to belie their true nature of evil. The one with pink hair was aptly named Haruno Sakura that name oozed innocence, ha! She’s a demon! Trust me, though my best friend Sasuke can tell you more about her and her evil ways. The other girl, with red hair and matching eyes, was called Akagi Karin, her name was sweet, but she was a blood thirsty monster! I hate her, hated her since…forever, let’s put it that way. Thinks she’s so smart with her glasses and her books and everything and just gah! I hate her!

Currently, my best friend Uchiha Sasuke and I were sitting on the front steps to my house. My parents and older brother were murdered when I was really little. I went to a creepy orphanage ran by two gay guys, Orochimaru and Kabuto. I was eventually adopted by this weird guy named Hoshigaki Kisame. Yeah, another person on my top ten lists of freaks and geeks to stay away from. Lucky for us he was gone for a month, went to the US for some business trip or something. Bastard.

We, Sasuke and I, belonged to a self-declared, unofficial club of bachelors. Use to have seven members: Me, Sasuke, Naruto, Sai, Shikamaru, Lee, and Gaara. Occasionally, Sasuke’s older brother, Itachi, would join until we learned he was dating Inuzuka Hana (aka the dog-girl). That seemed to taint everyone. First Sai went out on a date with that Yamanaka ditz, Ino. Gaara hooked up with that weird girl Matsuri. Lee began dating Tenten. Shikamaru hooked up with Temari; I still don’t understand what he sees in her, that woman is a task master from hell!

We thought it would be good just having the three of is, ie: Naruto, Sasuke and myself. The three of us have been friends since before preschool. We got into all sorts of trouble, mostly Naruto’s doing, but sometimes mine, never Sasuke. I swear that boy is the definition of boring. Seriously, look up boring in the dictionary and you’ll see the definitions, number one would be: Uchiha Sasuke, with his sophomore year picture next to it. HE does not know how to have fun. It’s like the fun was sucked out of him as soon as he was born! Anyways, the start of summer vacation, we lost Naruto to Hyuga Hinata. Apparently they have been dating for a long time and just now bother to tell us. So, a month into summer vacation, Sasuke and I booked a one-way ticket to Boredomville. “Hey,” an idea suddenly hit me. Sasuke flicked coal black eyes at me. “Wanna set up the ramp and do some tricks with out boards?” I grin, revealing oddly pointed teeth. Don’t know why my teeth are like that but I do enjoy scaring teachers and dentists alike.

“Hn,” Sasuke shrugged.

“You are the mayor of Boredomville,” I grumbled, resting my head in my hands to stare at the yard across the street.

It was only then that we, more like I, noticed that the girls, no demons from hell, were missing. Not only that, they were coming towards us with a red wagon and an ice chest. Both girls were in flip-flop sandals, shorty jean shorts and their bikini tops and were wearing sunglasses. Well Sakura was, Karin had some photo-light-sensitive changing lenses in her glasses.

“Hey, you two wanna come to the lake with us?” Karin asked, chewing some bubble gum; BubbleMax Watermelon Blast long lasting bubble gum, to be exact. No, I’m not secretly in love with her; I just like dumpster diving in Karin’s trash. Said girl just popped a bubble she blew. And to prove to you that I’m not in love with Karin, Sasuke happens to know that Sakura likes Limited Too Sweet Sixteen Cherry flavor lipgloss with sparkles. So, ha! Chew on that why don’tcha!

I was about to say no, when Sasuke stood up. “Sure,” he smiled. I gaped at Sasuke.

“Dude! It’s Sakura and Karin!” I stressed. Sasuke looked at me.

“Hn, so?” he looked at me and then it hit me, I saw him grab Sakura’s hand, and if you looked up the definition of hopelessly utterly in love, you’ll see two definitions, number one being Uchiha Itachi (I swear that guy acts out his sick fantasies with the picture of Hana naked he has stashed under his mattress. Note: Not the most secret hiding place) and the second is Uchiha Sasuke.

I felt betrayed, wounded! My best friend ditched me for some pink haired demon! How could he! “How long?” I chocked out.

Sasuke shrugged, “A while.” He smirked before he and Sakura headed to the nearby lake. I stared at my best friend turned traitor for what seemed like ever, tuning out the world. That is until Karin’s foot was introduced to my face.

“Moron! I’m talking to you!” she screamed.

“What? I don’t think they Beijing heard you, can you scream louder?” I eyed her.

“Jeez Suigetsu,” she rolled her eyes red eyes. “Do you want to come to the lake?” she asked again.

“Why should I go to the lake?” I asked.

“Fine, be a jackass,” Karin huffed, pulling the red wagon along. I snorted, before going into the house that smelled like cat piss and something else. I flipped the TV on and began playing Gears of War 2, imaging the aliens as Sasuke and those two bitches from hell. Heh, stress relief at its finest.

The next day dawned and I was once again sitting on my front steps, staring at Sakura and Karin having a squirt gun fight. Sasuke had joined me, though he was playing some ninja PVP game on his PSP. “Damn,” he muttered.

“I can’t believe you ditched me,” I muttered. “For a girl!”

“The guys were there,” Sasuke mumbled.

“Yeah, with their clingy girlfriends!” I pointed out. “I thought we agreed that life was better without girls,” I asked.

“Things change, life changes,” Sasuke looked up at the sky. I snorted; I hated it when he went all philosopher-y on me.

“Hey, when is your uncle coming?” I asked.

“Madara?” Sasuke at me. Madara was Sasuke’s great uncle or something like that, at least I think, all I knew was that Madara and Sasuke were related and that Itachi hated Madara with an unholy fury for some reason or another. “Dunno. Whenever Dad feels like calling him in Osaka,” Sasuke shrugged. “Speaking of my parents,” Sasuke put his game on pause. “My parents are throwing an engagement party for Itachi and Hana. You’re invited, as is everyone else. I already told the others yesterday at the lake. It’s at the Uchiha Mansion, on the grounds,” added.

“Sure, I’ll be there,” I paused. “Its not traditional dress is it? Because I’d hate to rent a kimono,” I muttered.

“No, Itachi wanted to go Western and causal. So just wear something nice, like a dress shirt and slacks,” Sasuke went back to his game. I nodded, grunting to tell him I heard. “It’s in three days,” he smirked. I nearly gasped but didn’t.

The girls from hell came by to offer us to join them for a trip to the lake. I declined again, got kicked by Karin (bloody hell) again, and went to blow up aliens on Halo 3 after they left. Aah, the joys of video games, I love my Xbox360, best thing Kisame ever bother to get me. Ate some day old cheese, drank milk that was just starting go sour (yuck) and nuked (ha! Nuked…hehehe) some Kung Pao chicken I ordered via take out yesterday. Yelled at Kisame when he called, telling me he’s staying in the States until mid autumn (again, bloody hell). Bastard. At least he was better than the two guys that ran the orphanage I was stuck in. I still have nightmares that involved Orochimaru, Kabuto and long snaky tongues. I shuddered just at the mere passing thought. Not pleasant!

“How long are you going to keep this up?” Karin asked. The red wagon with the ice chest had gone ahead with Sasuke (traitor) and Sakura (temptress from hell). Karin was currently sitting next to me, and I was trying my hardest not to look at her rather perky if not tiny, (seriously, Sakura has bigger boobs than Karin) breasts. “I mean you won’t have a broken nose for Itachi-kun’s engagement party if you just go,” she popped another bubble.

“Are you going to the party?” I asked. Karin smirked at me.

“Maybe ya’ll just hafta come,” she drawled, sexily leaning towards me. I gulped.

“Not if you are going to rear your ugly head,” I quipped. Karin looked ready to kill.

“Bastard,” she grumbled. “Well,” she stood up. “If ya change that brick for brain mind of yours,” she walked off. I snorted, despite being within temptation to tagalong. Karin did have a nice ass. I resisted the urge to go and went inside to play GTA4.

Itachi’s party rolled around. I showed up at four to hang with Sasuke before everyone got there. I was dressed in a white dress shirt, black slacks and black dress shoes. I looked stupid, felt stupid too, but hey Sasuke would’ve sick his attack bitch (Sakura) on me if I showed up in a stained tee-shirt and destroyed jeans. I wanted to live a few more years, thank you very much, so I followed the dress code. Anyways, Old Man Fugaku (ever the traditional dresser) glared down at me with his ever perfect frown. Fugaku is the definition of stick-up-the-ass (thought from what Sasuke told me, Naruto claims Hyuga Hiashi can give Old Man Fugaku a run for his money). And Old Man Fugaku doesn’t just have any old stick shoved up his ass; no, it’s a big, gnarly and thorn covered stick.

“Uh…hi,” I slipped my shoes off before coming inside. Fugaku continued to glare at me (seriously did that guy ever stop looking pissed off?) at me.

“Oh, Fugaku-chan! Stop scaring him!” Mikoto walked up. Mikoto was the sweetest, kindest woman on Earth. I would run away from the orphanage to Sasuke’s house, and Mikoto would always feed me chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies with milk (my one and only weakness in life is Mikoto’s baking) until I was sleepy. She still treats me like a third son. “C’mon in Suigetsu-kun, the boys are upstairs playing Halo 3 with Naruto,” Mikoto pointed to the ceiling.

“Thanks,” I inched passed Old Man Fugaku.

“Fugaku!” Mikoto snapped, her hands on her hips.

“Hn,” was the only reply she got from her husband, I now knew where Itachi and Sasuke picked it up.

“Leave him alone!” Mikoto stressed before going back to the kitchen.

The door to Sasuke’s room slid open, and Sasuke appeared, dressed similar to me, with a headset on his head; he actually looked cool in the headset, chicken-ass hair and everything; Sasuke’s hair defies gravity.

“Hey, bout time you showed up, we need your skills with the laser sword,” he smirked, a dangerous glint in his eyes. “We’re playing Akatsuki,” he added.

“Count me in!” I stepped into Sasuke’s room. Akatsuki was this group of kids that Itachi hung out with when he was in high school. It’s disbanded, cause over half of them were seniors, including Kisame. Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, and Tobi were the only ones left the following year. “Is Dollboy and Bombs-Away playing?” I asked as I grabbed a controller and joined in.

“Yep,” Sasuke smirked. “And the Merry Pumpkin Head and Aloe Vera,” Sasuke added. We began rapidly tapping buttons and screaming into our headsets, with Itachi sometimes yelling at us from the other room to not scream into the microphones. I could hear Naruto complain about not having ramen at the party. I smirked, glad to be hanging out with my two best friends. I wasn’t looking forwards to the party.

The party was boring. Actually, if you asked Sasuke, he’d tell you it was a hit, a blast, whatever. I sat by the punch bowl playing Cowabunga (moo!) on my iPod Touch. Oh, how I enjoyed the insane mooing of the falling cows. The guys were dressed like me, save Itachi, who rented a tux (stupid git). The girls on the other hand were hot.

Ino had a lilac satin dress on the hugged every curve of her body. Temari wore a red dress, the deep rich color of fine red wine, with one slit up the slit up the side. Matsuri wore a forest green gown with gloves that ended in the middle of her upper arm, it clashed fairly well with Gaara’s red hair. Tenten wore a sky blue backless dress that really suited her. Hinata wore a deep amethyst cocktail tress, the midriff section was cut up with a fine mesh fabric of a paler amethyst, I could see skin, and she looked so beautiful in it, the dress and her blue-black hair really brought out her pupil less silvery eyes. Sakura wore a red dress, the color of freshly split blood, it was strapless and showed every curve on her body. Hana wore a navy blue strapless dress.

I scanned the mass of humanity for the one person I didn’t want to see. Finally, I spotted her red hair. Karin wore a black cocktail dress with those sparkly things on it. I’ll admit she looked good in black and it made her look beautiful. I don’t care if she personally thought she was ugly with her glasses on (by the way, she was wearing them), I think they brought out her facial features and those red eyes. I ended up losing my last cow, so I gave up, putting my Touch away, which was just around the time Sakura, Ino and Hinata came up to me. “Hey girlies!” I smirked.

“Suigetsu,” Ino used her I’m-the-bitchy-boss-so-obey-me voice, which cut my smirk clean off my face. “You are going to dance with Karin,” Ino smirked proudly.

“Like hell I am!” I snapped.

“Either that or you’ll end up with a pretty little geisha face when you wake up in the morning,” Sakura smirked evilly.

“What!?” I blanched at her threat, and knowing Sakura, she would do it too, dragging Hinata, Karin and Ino along with her, the four of them have been best friends since kindergarten. Karin and Sakura have been friends since forever, seeing that they live next door to each other.

“H-hai! S-Suigetsu-kun, y-you have to dance with Karin-chan or have a geisha face,” Hinata muttered, fidgeting with her fingers. “You have five minutes to make up your mind,” Hinata glanced at Naruto, who was on the dance floor waving like a complete moron. The Hyuga girl blushed. Sakura, Ino and Hinata returned to the dance floor.

I sighed, sitting there weighing my options. Sighing and knowing I was going to regret this (and invoke the wrath of Old Man Fugaku), I headed towards the stage. Once on stage, I grabbed the microphone, rather rudely but I really didn’t care at the moment, from the singer’s hands. That loud whiny sound filled the room as the music came to a grinding halt. “Uh…hi everyone!” I waved, and I spotted Itachi and Hana, they were amused or too drunk to really notice that I just crashed their party; Old Man Fugaku on the other hand looked ready to murder someone, and I was that someone. “So…nice weather we’re having? Hot as hell, well that’s Japanese summers for you,” I laughed weakly, before tapping my toe on the stage nervously. “There is uh…actually a reason why I uh…did this stunt,” I looked at the crowd. Eyes stared up at me like I was about to announce the end of the world or something like that. I took a deep breath: “KARIN! I LOVE YOU! I LOVED YOU SINCE THE DAY WE MET! FUCKING HELL! I’VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME!” I screamed into the microphone. Everyone, like a single minded mass of humanity, stepped away from Karin. “So…” I gulped, lubricating my throat. “Will you dance the night away with me?” I gave a sheepish smile. Ino, Sakura, and Hinata swarmed upon Karin, muttering in their secret girl code, before giggling (I hate it when girls giggle, it always meant something bad was about to happen) and backing away. Karin looked at me, black glasses gleaming in the light.

“YES! YES I WILL DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY WITH YOU SUIGETSU! YOU MORONIC IDIOT!” Karin screamed. I blinked.

“Really?” I asked, shoving the microphone back that the singer, before I hoped off the stage and ran towards her. She threw her arms around me.

“I love you,” she whispered. I just smirked before kissing her. And that my friends is how Karin and I became known as the Screaming Watermelon.

Ah, I loved this oneshot. Written to Matchbox Twenty (I adore that band! So good!). Inspired by Sara’s fic, the title I forgot…but its SuiKa! Apart of Hyphinated’s prompt challenge.

Some notes. Tradition dress vs. Western/modern dress. According to my mom who went to Japan in the 70s (so my information is dated!) when Japanese dress traditionally, they do things traditionally and have a traditional mindset. When they dress Western/modern they have a Western/modern mindset and do things Western/modern fashion. At least that’s how she explained it to me. Since Fugaku is an old curmudgeon I made him dress traditionally.

Suigetsu renting a kimono; there are man’s kimono, and Suigetsu didn’t want to rent one. Apparently you can rent kimono (like you can rent a tux for prom). But since Itachi had the party with a Western/modern dress code, Sui-kun didn’t have to.

Tobi/Madara, in my crazy AU world, Tobi and Madara are to separate people. Madara is some estrange family member of Sasuke’s that lives in Osaka, while Tobi is…just Tobi.

The lake is within walking distance of their neighbourhood. And they live in Tokyo.

Personal note: My birthday is in two days! BOOM BABY! BKP is being updated tomorrow and I will post another oneshot, a NaruHina, on my birthday!

R’n’R if you don’t want to get eaten by kyuubi!

DJ