|Confessions of a Shoeaholic
Author: Caspianna PM
Liz is obsessed with shoes...what happens when she finds herself in a hilarous situation? Based on Becky Bloomwoods crazy adventures!Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,556 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 07-09-09 - Published: 04-15-09 - id: 4996624
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Sorry for the long delay everyone, I haven't been writing in such a long time because of skool, but now its summer break and yeah, I have more time to update : )
Please R&R if you want me to continue with this story line!!! : )
Oh crap, crap, crap, crap, crap
This ran through my head as I held the phone to my ear.
"Um…hello," I mumbled, deciding that my plan to put on a fake accent wasn't exactly going to work.
"Erm, hello, who is this?" The voice on the other line asked, clearly confused.
"Um…I'm sorry to…call you out of the blue like this, but…Um…I'm not sure if you will….Erm, remember me, we met on the street…well you know like the sidewalk the other day…and you gave me your card…" I trailed off waiting for him to say something, to confirm that I didn't sound like a total lunatic.
Silence answered me on the other line and for a second I thought he had hung up on me.
"Oh, of course, Liz was it?"
I let out a gust of air, glad he had remembered me.
"Yes, Liz, look, I've called because I have found myself in a bit of a…situation."
"Really? What would that situation be?" The man on the other line asked. What had his name been….Ryan! Yes, that was it.
I suddenly felt extremely stupid, why was I calling this complete stranger? I must seem like an idiot to him, I should just hang up this phone and spend a bloody week in a cell…oh, but I couldn't, the thought of having to go into one of those dark, dusty cells…imagine who could have been in there before me!
So, I sucked in a deep breathe and let it all out…well, most of it anyways. I mostly said I was stuck at a police station with no one to come and get me and concluded my story there.
"Well, if there is no one else to come and get you I'll come right away."
"Thank you so much," I said.
I put down the pay phone and sat at the ugly grey table, waiting for Ryan to come and get me.
What I had told the police was that they had made a terrible mistake. In a crowd of people a theft had occurred, and I, being courageous and all, went after the thief, but the cops mistook me for the thief and so here I was.
Well, it's not like I could tell them the truth now could I?
An hour later I saw Ryan come through the door into the building because the room I was in was all glass.
Ryan was talking to the police and I hope to god they weren't telling him what I had told them…I bit my lip nervously.
I saw one of the officers nodding and opening the glass door. Ryan sat down across from me and leaned over to whisper something.
"I'm afraid they are only willing to have family members or close personal friend's retrieve you, I can't be of help, I'm sorry."
Panicking I jumped up from my seat in a dramatic motion, causing all the officers to turn and stare at me and I screamed out:
"My husband, you've come!!!!!!"
Ryan gave me a flabbergasted look, but I continued.
"They have been keeping me in this horrible room!"
I saw the officers eyes go wide as they turned to each other and whispered "Her husband is Ryan Blyth?"
Whoever this man was I was right to call him because with little work on my end I was free to go.
Ryan and I walked down the street in silence, but for some reason I felt it was a comfortable silence.
"Thank you," I said, smiling at him.
He chuckled and turned to me. "Don't thank me; you're the one who did all the work."
I laughed. "Ya, I guess so. You don't have to answer this but why did all the officers eyes go wide when I said you were my husband?"
"Ah, well, I am Ryan Blyth," he said mysteriously.
I laughed again. "And who, specifically might that be?"
"Why don't you read my card?" He said slyly.
I took out his card again and read the fine print….Ryan Blyth; lawyer.
I gulped down some air and started having a coughing attack. I held my stomach as I tried to breathe and I felt Ryan pounding me on the back.
"I'm fine…." Another big cough came back and I couldn't talk for several seconds. "Fine, just fine."
When he was convinced I wasn't dying he stepped back and let me gain control of myself. We started walking again..
"So, you're um…a lawyer?" Before he got a chance to answer I rambled on. "Look, I didn't do anything bad, it was…erm…THE OLD WOMAN, yes it was the old woman, she was crazy, absolutely insane, I'm telling you she just…you know…picked up a pair of boots and started STUFFING THEM INTO MY PURSE! And the security man, god he was horrible, he just grabbed my arm and started dragging my away, but it wasn't my fault, honest, and the only reason I told them you were my husband is because…well you resemble what my…um…husband looks like, you could be brothers!"
When I finally stopped for air he was silent.
"You're married?" He asked, looking down at his feet.
Married? Why would he jump to the conclusion that I was….Oh. Oh Crap.
"Well….used to be married actually, he was…um…a…drug…dealer?"
He stared at me like I was crazy.
I shook my head in disgust. "When we meet in….Finland he was such a wonderful, WONDERFUL man, and then…I brought him over to New York and he was a changed man. Got right into the…erm… 'Business'" I made air quotes with my fingers and gave him a hopeful look. "You know. The 'Business'"
He shook his head at me, a worried expression plastered on his face. "No, I'm afraid I don't know about this, um, Business."
"Well anyways," I said, throwing my hands around, trying to shrug off the conversation, "it didn't work out, but that's over now, and I no connection to him whatsoever!"
He laughed. "Well, that's good to know."
We walked in silence again, and I felt as if the comfortable silence had come back --- well I hoped it was a comfortable silence. I never really got that term….
"Oh, this is my stop," I said, staring up at my apartment. "Thanks, I really appreciated that."
"No problem….you will give me a call some other time right? When your not being held under you will?" He gave me a crooked grin.
"Yes, I will, I promise," I laughed. I gave him a wave and disappeared into my apartment.
I walked over to the elevator and pushed the button as my mind wandered. Did I really tell him I was married? God, I am such an idiot. But he was really handsome….he sort of reminded me of Jake Gyllenhaal…brown hair, slight stumble…noticeably chocolate brown eyes….
"Excuse me dear…." I turned around to an old lady tapping on my shoulder and recalled the crazy old woman who was in my story….
"Dear, the elevator seems to be out of order!"
I turned back around, dumbfounded, to the elevator and saw that there was a big sign reading OUT OF ORDER plastered onto the front of it.
Alright, let me tell you this, wearing three inch heels while walking up seven flights of stairs is not fun.
Not fun at all.