"so, I hear you're a doctor?" The tall man stumbled into House's office, bleeding profusely.

"I'm supposed to be." House continued bouncing a tennis ball off of his cane. "Stop bleeding on my carpet."

"So sorry about that. Anyway, I don’t suppose you can do something about this gaping wound in my stomach?"

"That would require surgery. How did you miss the help desk? They usually tell people these things."

"I can't get too close to sensitive electronic equipment like you might find in say, a hospital emergency room. Or your average American household."

"Yeah technology can be a little finicky. On the other hand judging by your condition it's deal with technology or die.

"I really just need stitches. Nothing more high-tech then a couple of needles."

"Right" House leaned towards his desk and snagged a phone which promptly spat sparks and died. "That was odd." he chucked it over his shoulder and slipped into an exaggerated 'I'm listening' pose. "So who exactly told you I could help? Was it Cameron? I bet it was Cameron."

"No one told me." The tall man slipped down the wall he had been leaning against until he was sitting on the floor.

"Really?" House glanced at his watch. "How long have you been bleeding like that?"

"I don’t know…two, three minutes? Is this important?"

"Yes, you see I'm not just a doctor, I'm a diagnostician. Which means that before I can treat you I must discover why you have a gaping wound in your stomach. To do that I need an accurate patient history." He stared at the man with complete sincerity.

"Ha ha. My sides. There's a gaping wound in my stomach because I got into a fight with a-" the man paused. "Actually I'm just gonna skip what I ended up fighting, the point is that I have innards where my outtards should be. And I really need someone to patch me up quickly so that I can," He stopped talking and stared around vaguely. "so that I can…screw it I'm just gonna pass out." Which he promptly did.

House stared over his desk at the unconscious man, shrugged and paged Cameron, who ran in, saw the bleeding man on the floor and immediately drew some conclusions. "I'll get a nurse!" she ran out again.

"And I'll sit here and watch him bleed to death!" He called after her. Then sighed as he maneuvered his bad leg around and walked over to the man, kneeling painfully and turning him over while trying to stop the bleeding. He was marginally successful and the man lived to be transferred to ICU.