|Twilight the Rewrite
Author: Tprinces PM
Tired of vampires who sparkle? Wish Bella was less of a Mary Sue? Hoping in vain that Edward could some how be less of a pansy? It's all here in Twilight the Rewrite: How it should have been written.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Drama - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 33 - Words: 99,735 - Reviews: 1,048 - Favs: 442 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 09-05-09 - Published: 04-16-09 - Status: Complete - id: 4999187
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
So, I've been thinking, and I decided to give this thing a try. I may not finish it, I'll tell you this right now, simply because I may not have the motivation to. But I might as well give it a shot. Let me get a few things out of the way first – for one thing, I'm not a Twilight fan. The reason I'm writing this is because I feel like the reputation of vampires needs to be fixed after the damned series. Yes, I've read it. Anywho, there's a few things you need to know right now:
1) There is NO SPARKLING. End of discussion.
2) Edward is NOT a perfect Adonis.
3) The "lion and the lamb" line? NOT gonna be in here. EVER.
4) Bella does NOT have five guys liking her at once.
5) The Cullens are NOT perfect "vegetarians".
6) There will NOT be paragraph upon paragraph of description of someone's eyes.
7) Edward is the ONLY vampire attending the high school, and for a special reason.
8) It will NOT be in first person, meaning that this Bella will NOT be a self insertion Mary Sue.
Now that that's finished, might as well start. I may hate myself in the end, but can't say I didn't try.
PS – if you're just going to flame me because of said reasons above, just don't read what I'm about to show you.
Twilight the Rewrite
One: Welcome to Forks
The plane flight from Arizona to Washington wasn't particularly long. Yet to Bella, it seemed to take forever. She had tried to read to pass the time, but the feeling of reading on an airplane made her stomach queasy. She tried going to sleep, but her anxiousness stopped her from doing so. She was nervous, to say the least. She hadn't seen her father in over a year, though she had spoken to him leading up to the move. She sighed, letting her forehead rest on the cool window beside her, her fingertips trailing down the glass. She knew she would miss her life in Phoenix, just as much as she would miss her mother or her friends. In particular, her current boyfriend, Chris. It hadn't been easy parting with him. She flipped open her cell phone and began going through a few pictures of the two of them. In each one, he wore a charming, easy smile. It was the same smile that won her over just six months ago. She hadn't really had that many boyfriends before Chris, so it was much like leaving part of herself behind. When she couldn't bear to look at the phone any longer, she closed it and let her brown eyes move out the window. Her thoughts trailed to her mother. A tiny smile made it to her lips.
Her mom – Renee – didn't want her to leave. But Bella could see the joy in her face every time Phil came around. It was joy that her mother deserved. Ever since her divorce, Renee had been working as a single mom for about thirteen years or so. Usually, she had to take odd jobs as waitresses, bar tenders, and other miscellaneous titles. Many times, she wouldn't come home until well after eleven, and had to get up early the next morning. Bella did all she could to help make things easier for her. She tried getting a job once or twice as well, but her people skills weren't exactly… up to par. She had a horrible record for talking her own grave in interviews. Not to mention she dropped nearly every plate she carried as a server. A complete opposite of her mom. Bella sized the two up in her head. Renee had always been sociable. With men, with co workers, even with Bella's friends. Bella, on the other hand, would much rather sit silently and watch the world unfurl before her. While her mother looked youthful inside and out, with bright eyes and a beautiful disposition, Bella was taller then most of the others in her classes, with knobby knees and frizzy hair that she usually had to subdue with a pony tail holder. And unlike her mother, who had an even, desert tan, Bella had inherited her father's pale, Irish skin. She also had a relatively small bust, something she and her mother seemed to share. Despite this, Renee worked around it and looked dashing all the same. In any case, through her life of working dead end jobs with terrible hours, luck seemed to strike, when the bar she was working at the time was hosting an after ball game party for a minor league ball team. She and Phil hit it off the minute they started talking to one another. Bella noted that her mother had never been happier coming home that night. As their relationship grew to be more serious, it was obvious that Rene wanted to travel with him and his ball team. Which unfortunately gave Bella a choice: Watch her mother go back to misery because she didn't want to move around constantly, or let Renee have her long deserved fun and move to her father's in Forks. She didn't have the heart to go with the first choice.
Bella looked up as she heard the captain announce their landing. She buckled her seat belt and put away the books she had attempted to read, before staring out the window. Below her was a blanket of cloud, thick like a sheet of snow. They began to descend, and Bella watched as minuscule drops of water clung to the outer window, trailing the glass like quick snails. It was a bit bumpy once they got to the landing strip, but they soon slowed to a stop. Bella stood and began to gather her things, keeping out of as many people's way as possible. Once she finally had been able to inch her way off the plane, she migrated into the terminal, her teddy bear backpack clinging to her shoulders. She scanned the crowded area with her soft eyes, before spying a slightly crinkled man with a weary smile. Chief Charlie Swan waved at her, and she made her way to his side. They embraced for a moment or two, Bella sensing a faint after shave off of her father. It was apparent he wanted to look nice when he came to pick her up. Once they were finished hugging, Charlie carried her bag and the two walked through the airport.
"You haven't changed one bit you know," said Charlie kindly. Bella laughed at that, hands gripping onto her straps.
"I don't know if that's a good thing." She looked off to the side, absentmindedly reading the few travel posters that had been put along the walls.
"It is," said Charlie with a nod. After that, the two of them became silent. They didn't talk much whenever they met up. Not because they were awkward with one another. Quite the opposite, actually. The two Swans were comfortable enough with each other to come to several, nonverbal agreements that no one else seemed to share. Once they got out of the airport, they quickly found Charlie's car – the police cruiser that he drove – and headed onto the freeway. Forks, the town where she was moving to, didn't exactly have an airport, so Bella had to be picked up in Seattle. To pass the time, she kept her eyes out of the window, taking in the completely different atmosphere that she would now live in.
Perhaps it was just because she was used to a dusty, rust colored world, but everything there seemed to be either green or blue. The color of the numerous amount of trees that sat alongside the freeway bled out above and below them, tinting the world with their hue. Other then the constant, white noise buzzing of Charlie's radio, the car was silent. Finally, after a few hours of driving, Bella's gaze happened upon a wooden "WELCOME TO FORKS" sign that perched itself atop a small mound of grass that split the road in two. Only then did Charlie break the silence.
"So," he began. "Remember how we were talking about you getting your own car?" Bella perked and turned her eyes to Charlie.
"You got me one?" she said, her face brightening. They turned a corner and pulled into the drive way of Charlie's home, parking right beside an old, red truck. Bella brightened and hopped out, quickly moving forward to her new truck. Well… perhaps not new, judging by the body of the vehicle. Even so, she couldn't help but beam as she observed each and every clunky detail of the thing. Once she had finished circling the truck, she rushed back over to Charlie and hugged him tightly, practically knocking him off of his feat. "Thank you so much, Dad! I love it!"
"Glad you do," said Charlie, rubbing her shoulder. "I finally was able to get Billy to sell it to me."
"Billy?" Bella blinked for a moment. "Oh! You mean Billy Black, right?" Charlie nodded and they moved inside. The house was as same as ever, the hardwood floors still smelling of faint pine and orange. It was a two story house, with the bedrooms up one flight of stairs. The kitchen was a quaint, tiny place, with fading yellow walls and chipping tile counters. The living room had a fairly impressive TV set, no doubt to watch sports on, and a comfortable looking, if not some what aged, tan couch. It all had a warm, woodsy-type feel to its interior.
"Jacob fixed it up for the most part," Charlie continued, setting her bag on the floor.
"Is he in town?" Bella asked, eager to meet up with someone she actually knew. Until about a year ago, Bella would constantly take trips up to Forks to visit with her father, and sometimes the Blacks, the Native American family that lived on a reservation. Jacob Black was about two years younger then herself, so the two got along ok. Though she could remember some of her younger years in which she often saw Jacob as a little brother.
"Not right now," said her father. "He's getting his license at the reservation. Once he passes his test, he'll come to see you, he promises." After a little bit more of light conversation and an early dinner, Bella took her things up to her old room and plopped down onto the bed. It was a little bare, save for the boxes of her things that had been shipped out a week or so prior to her arrival. She began to unpack her things and set out her outfit for the next day. She still had a frizzy sensation in the pit of her stomach. Once most of her clothes had been unpacked, she pulled out her slightly outdated lap top and set it on the desk, plugging in her iPod to charge. After that, she laid down along her mattress and dialed Chris's number. She promised she'd call once she got there. It rang a few times before the appealing voice of a young man came on the other line.
"I was wondering when you were gonna call," Chris said lightly. "Starting to get worried that your plain went down."
"Hi." She smiled, even though she knew he couldn't see it. "Sorry. It was a long drive from the airport."
"Well be sure to drive faster next time. Oh, Maria swears she'll go crazy without you." One of her close friends from Phoenix. "She says that now she has no one to abuse. Except for me, of course."
"Don't worry," Bella replied lightly. "I'll be down for a visit by summer." She sighed, turning her head to look to her now dark window. "It's so wet up here… and green. It's nice I guess… But I miss the desert already."
"You miss this dry old sand box?"
Bella's smile returned. "Well I do miss you, after all."
"Right, right, I miss you too." There was a bit of a silence between them. "So, starting school tomorrow?"
"Yeah… I'm nervous."
"Don't be. Just act natural. And try not to break anything, all right?"
She chuckled a bit. "I will…" They talked for a bit longer before saying goodnight. Bella plugged her phone into the wall before changing into her pajamas. She turned off all the lights and was about to go to sleep, when she noticed just how brightly the moon was shining. She walked to her window and laid her palm against the glass, looking beyond her new home. The silver light caused the dark forest to be even denser, the entirety of the trees just now one big, black form. The lunar mist highlighted the tree tops, causing them to glimmer against the back drop of navy and the foreground of black. It reminded her of the peaceful, Arizona nights. She was just ready to leave the window, when she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.
Squinting, she saw that the top of a tree was moving. She tried to see it in better detail, but the naked eye could only do so much. An idea came to her. Quickly, Bella rushed to her things and scrambled around for her binoculars. She used them often when she wanted to see the desert planes in better detail. She focused them and brought them to her eyes, pointing the lenses directly at the treetop.
The black that was the trees seemed much more dark green up close. Bella moved her binoculars up and down, trying to find whatever it was that was shaking the tree, when she caught it. She wasn't quite sure what it was; there was no animal that she could place with what she saw. It seemed to be a streak of white, zooming up the tree branch. And just before she was able to get a better look at it, it was gone, leaving the tree immobile once more. Slowly, Bella took away her binoculars, still staring at the same spot. She tapped the glass with a finger, trying hard to figure out what it was she laid her eyes on. A bear? No… bears here were brown. A bob cat, maybe? However, they liked higher altitudes and colder weather. Maybe she was just seeing things…
She shook her head and tossed the object aside, moving back to her bed. She tucked herself in, gaze lingering on the silvery moon, before her eyes grew heavy enough to close on their own, the sound of the woods lulling her to sleep.
Well, this was chapter one. Yes, it was different. Yes, Bella has a prior boyfriend. Yes, it was a bit info dumpy.
Either way, give me a review.