Author: haveyounomercy PM
A glimpse of what the children of certain couples would act like. A crack one-shot, various pairings, all pairings are listed inside the story.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Family - Words: 1,715 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 16 - Published: 04-21-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5011466
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N This is one intensely crazy crackfic. Just pretend that all of them were given a gift from the MPreg!Fairy or something like that. This is just the accounting of what the children of certain couples would look like. I have put the parents of each kid as a heading for each little drabble. Enjoy!
Pairings: Burning Pair, Silver Pair, Pillar Pair, ShinjixKamio, Golden Pair and MaruixJirou
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis, or any of the characters.
Kawamura Takashi and Syuusuke + Shishido Ryou and Choutarou
"I wonder if I brought enough sushi…" Takashi worriedly looked at the wooden box he was holding as they approached the Takafumi Kindergarten. It was parent's day, and everyone was welcome to bring along a treat of some kind.
"It's fine, Takashi." Syuusuke smiled as he patted his husband's arm reassuringly.
Takashi still looked somewhat unsure, but as they stepped into the building, Syuusuke took the box from him and put it on the table that had tons of food spread out on it.
"There." Syuusuke guided Takashi into the main playroom. "Now, where is our darling Haruka-chan?" His eyes scanned the room.
"Daddy!" A brown-haired blue-eyed young girl ran over to them. "I missed you!" Shyly hugging Takashi, they smiled sweetly at each other.
"Hi… Mommy." Haruka zthen turned to Syuusuke.
Takashi flushed at the ridiculous nickname Syuusuke had insisted that Haruka call him.
"Hello, my pretty Haruka-chan." Syuusuke swept her up in a hug.
"Ah, Mommy, I missed you too!" Haruka smiled cutely.
"You must be the parents of Haruka-chan." A young woman came up to the trio.
"Yes, and you must be Takumi-sensei." Syuusuke replied while Takashi hurried to shake her hand.
"Haruka is such a nice, well-mannered girl." Takumi Ayako gushed. "The environment in your home must be so relaxed!"
"Yes, well I manage a sushi restaurant which Takashi works in. He's quite the chef." Syuusuke's smile widened slightly.
"Then I must come and try some one day!" Ayako smiled at Takashi.
"Oh, we insist." Syuusuke responded, and was about to say something else when a small voice interrupted.
"Haruka-chan's dad is a sushi chef? Lame!" A little boy who was slightly taller than the other kids crossed his arms. His silver hair fell gently against his kind-looking face.
Haruka looked down at the ground; pouting and Takashi just raised his hand to rub the back of his head.
"I'm so sorry, he didn't mean it!" Shishido Choutarou rushed in, apologizing over and over, his face filled with worry.
"It's okay, it's okay." Takashi and Choutarou then began an argument of some sorts, one saying that it was okay, and one saying that it was definitely not okay.
"Geez Choutarou, he already said it was okay." A brown-haired man ambled over to them.
"But-" Choutarou protested.
"Sushi is lame, lame, lame, lame!" The little boy ran in circles, repeating it.
"Kenta!" Choutarou exclaimed, shocked.
"Haruka-chan, this has gone too far." Syuusuke frowned, greatly displeased.
He than handed his daughter a small, miniature version of a tennis racket.
"I will burning you." Haruka's mood changed instantly, glaring coldly at Kenta with her racket outstretched.
"Haruka, it's I will 'burn' you. We also do not enforce violence around here." Ayako said nervously.
"I. Will. Burning. You." Haruka repeated, her tone getting colder with every word. "Burning."
Choutarou and Ryou pulled their pale-faced son closer towards them, and Ayako took a step back.
"That's my girl." Syuusuke smiled.
Tezuka Kunimitsu and Ryoma
The stone-faced Kunimitsu stared down at the little 6-year old he was supposed to tuck in for bed.
"Bedtime story." The little boy demanded.
"Shirou, I read you a bedtime story already."
"Ryoma-daddy always reads me two!" Shirou whined. At the mention of Ryoma, Kunimitsu instantly thought of the young man on a plane headed to England for Wimbledon. In his imagination, Ryoma had pulled his hat down and smirked. And then he would say his catchphrase snarkily.
"Shirou, I'm about to teach you something important." Kunimitsu sighed.
"What?" Shirou stopped whining, his golden eyes wide with wonder.
"Don't let your guard down. Ever."
"What does that mean?"
"Don't let your guard down."
"You're repeating yourself."
"Don't let your guard down."
"Daddy, I have something important to say too!" Shirou smiled.
"What is it?" Kuimistu leaned down to hear.
Swiftly reaching up, Shirou snatched the glasses off his dad's face, and promptly put them on his own face.
"You let your guard down." He said with a smirk. "Goodnight." And with that, he turned around, leaving Kunimitsu staring at his son's back.
Shinji Ibu and Akira
"I don't understand why I had to participate in this running contest. Sure, I'm the fastest in my class, no, maybe in the whole grade, but still. Daddy says that I'm probably the fastest in the country, but I think that's a lie. How can I compete with the big guys who participate in the Olympics? It doesn't make sense, though, because why would daddy lie to me? Even the other daddy started talking about how strange it was for daddy to think that way. Maybe it was just words to try to make me feel good, and compete in the district 100-meter dash. Why is it even called the 100-meter dash? Why can't it be 200, or maybe 300? When I asked the teacher, she just sighed and rolled her eyes. Why do adults do that? It's so annoying. It's like everyone's always doing that around me, but I don't understand why because I never did anything to make them annoyed or anything. Oh look, I'm coming close to the finish line. There's my idiot daddy, jumping up like a crazy person, and my other daddy mumbling to himself. He really shouldn't do that, mumbling is a really bad habit. I don't know anyone else who mumbles, so it's really embarrassing when he mumbles like that in front of my friends. Mumbling is so stupid, just like ranting. I never got why people ranted, it's not like it would help or anything. Life doesn't change for anyone. Yeah, that's probably the two most annoying traits that anyone can have. Ranting and mumbling should really be banned, I think. Oh, what's this, a ribbon? I get all sweaty and hot and all I get is a ribbon? This sucks. I don't get why people like daddy get all excited by doing this. I'm not even in the rhythm. What is the rhythm, anyways? Is it something like that annoying rap music everyone's always listening to? I hope not, because those things are really stupid, with all the swear words and shouting. I really hate running. Stupid race."
Kikumaru Eiji and Syuuichirou
"And next up, we have our last performer in our talent show, Kikumaru Ichigo! Give him a warm round of applause!"
A red-headed boy did a back flip onto the stage, earning him a couple of cheers and whistles.
And then he grabbed the microphone.
"Everyone, I just wanted to say that even the things that I'm going to do look easy, they are very hard and can cause serious harm to your bodies if done improperly. Please remember this, and don't try this at home!"
"JUST DO IT ALREADY!" Yelled back half of the gym.
"I don't see why no one appreciates a good old safety warning." Syuuichirou frowned slightly.
"Shh, it's starting!" Eiji put his hand on his husband's arm.
"I hope he doesn't fall and break a leg or something…"
"Ore-sama is currently funding 7 children in the country of Uganda, all of which Ore-sama has named after his glorious self, so that the world will forever always have enough Atobe Keigo's, because one is simply not enough. Not that Ore-sama is lacking in anything, of course. It is just the simple fact that the world needs more Keigo, and if Ore-sama had to do that, then Ore-sama would be prone to getting a migraine." He paused to flip his hair.
"Besides, Ore-sama is too young and has too many duties to fulfill to be burdened down with a child. They are loud, annoying headaches in a miniature body. Why would anyone possibly want one, naa Kabaji?"
Marui Bunta and Jirou
"Sugoi! There's apple-flavoured, watermelon-flavoured, peach-flavoured, strawberry-flavoured…" Marui Hideyoshi zipped up and down the aisles, arms packed with candy.
A girl standing at the check-out counter sighed. That boy came every Saturday, and the same thing always happened.
Looking at her watch, she sighed. He wasn't going to make it this time either.
5… 4… 3… 2… 1…
With a loud thunk, Hideyoshi fell to the floor, asleep.
Taking all the candy and restocking it was a pain, but the girl never got tired of seeing two grown men carry a snoring boy out of Cosco.
"Daddy, there is something strangely illogical going on." A black-haired girl approached her dad. She had yet to get glasses, but since she was only 6, it was to be expected.
"What is it, Satomi-chan?" Sadaharu looked down.
"Everybody else has two parents, so how is it possible that you had me all by your self?" She looked expectantly up at him.
"That is a very good question." Sadaharu adjusted his glasses. "The truth is, Satomi-chan, you were brought by the stork." He said without hesitation.
"Oh. Yes, that would explain it." The little girl scribbled furiously in her notebook. "And what chances are there that I'm the only one in this generation?"
"It's 93%, so don't expect to meet anyone else who was brought by the stork." Sadaharu's glasses glinted.
"That was good data." Satomi-chan shook her dad's hand.
"Yes, we should have these bonding talks much more often." Sadaharu agreed.