Chapter 3: On The Ledge

Joan had been right, everyone at school had learned of the truth. She walked down the halls feeling naked. Quickly, she looked down at her body, hoping it was a nightmare from hell. But she was dressed. She was wearing a knee length skirt and a small jacket over her blouse. She could hear everyone mocking her. She hadn't realized how well known she was, but perhaps that was due to the sudden revelation that she 'saw' god.

She found her locker, and quickly spun the dial. She was so focused on her problem, she kept messing the combination up. Swearing lightly she pounded her fist against the locker for several seconds, then in defeat she slumped against the wall, her face in her hands. She just wanted to disappear.

“Why don't you ask God to help you?” she heard a familiar voice call out. Joan looked up, her eyes blurred by tears. But it was hard to not recognize the person standing in front of her. It was Grace.

“Hi,” Joan said weakly, hoping she would drop the subject. She smirked.

“What kind of fascist would hide such a secret?” She demanded, anger edging her voice. Joan felt her words slice through her. “The world could use God, and you have definitive proof he exists? God isn't just some Cute Guy for you to keep to yourself. You should have shared him.” Joan was stunned, she had never heard Grace so angry. In the back of her mind, she felt and itch. She shrugged it off as she sat their crying. Grace left.

She was then in chemistry. She was sitting alone, but that was to be expected. No one wanted to be with the psycho lady. Ms. Lishack was handing out a test. But Joan couldn't remember there being a test. She tried to think back before yesterday night, tried to focus on Chemistry. Nothing. It was blank. When she received the test. She looked it over, but for the life of her she couldn't decipher it. It wasn't the first time she had trouble understanding one of Ms. Lishack's tests. But nothing made sense.

“I think there is something wrong with my test,” Joan said, interrupting the teacher's directions. She looked annoyed. Perhaps it was because she didn't feel like dealing with a person most likely to use her teaching to blow up the school.

“Well whats wrong with it?” She demanded coldly. The tone in her voice sent chills down Joan's spine.

“Well I...” Joan fumbled with what she was going to say. “I can't read it.” Joan whispered.

“It would explain your F.” The teacher said walking towards Joan. Joan handed her test to Ms Lishack. As she looked it over, Joan felt all the people staring at her. Again, she simply wanted to vanish.

“These are basic instructions Joan,” she handed the test back. “A first grader could understand that.” The class went into a laughing fit. Great, new jokes about her. Joan thought dismally. The rest of the day was the same. She walked from class to class. All the while her secret tailed her expertly. At lunch none of the people she knew would even speak to her. Not unless it was to throw and insult her way. The day was blurred, only bits and pieces of it she could remember.

Joan was hiding on the roof. This was the one place she felt safe. She reflected on the many hours spent up there with Adam. They could talk for hours up here, and on many occasions they had. They could also snuggle against each other and be content with simply existing together. The memories brought tears. Not an unusual thing, but the emotion behind them were far more powerful. She had lost Adam. IT had been the clearest thing that day.

It was after Lunch and she was walking around the school's campus, soaking the mocking sun's light. She spotted Adam sitting on a picnic table. In his hands he held a pencil and his sketch book. Joan was in awe at his talent, and enjoyed how he thought of her as his muse. Adam's head looked up from his sketch and Joan followed his gaze. Leaning against a tree sat Iris. Joan felt a pang of jealousy. She hadn't seen her in awhile, and was glad of it. Every time she thought of Iris, it brought of images of Adam and her together.

Slowly Joan walked over towards Adam. Now standing over him, she could see his sketch clearly. Never had he sketched her like he did Iris. The picture was flawless. Her eyes revealed the haunting past she endured and strives to overcome. But that was not all, he had expertly captured her passion for life.

“Hello,” Joan whispered. Adam jumped, trying to hide the sketch.

“Hey Joan,” Adam said slowly, using her real name. She had grown to love his pet name for her, and when he didn't use it. She knew. “Look, I...” Adam fidgeted with his pencil. “I think we should... see other people.”

“Adam please...” Joan tried to finish, but the lump in her throat stopped it cold.

“I'm sorry Joan, but I can't be with you.” Adam looked over his shoulder towards Iris, “I think I am going to get back with her.” He left Joan standing there alone in a state of pure sorrow.

So now she was on the ledge. She nudged a small rock and watched it slowly fall to the earth. She took a deep breath and wondered how it would feel. It couldn't possibly be worse then what her future held. She was branded the crazy girl. She would receive no support from anyone, not anymore. She nudged another rock off the schools roof. Distantly, she could hear it hit the ground and could see it bounce away.

Another deep breath...

She inched herself closer off the edge....

In the distance she could see Adam kissing Iris....

Closer...

Tears streamed down her face. Her face contorted in pain. She felt a cold breeze blow past her, her hair flying wildly as if to encourage her to jump.

Closer....

Her left foot left the roof and was now dangling in mid air.

Just one more, she thought, and it will be over.

But she couldn't. She allowed herself to fall back on the roof. She couldn't go through with it. She was strong, God made her strong. She could deal with this... or at the very least use the skills God and inspired to run away and become a new person...

Someone was behind her now. He was tall and rather handsome and looked about his Mid twenties. His short brown hair. His blue eyes were cold and his expression of controlled malice. The mysterious man pushed her forward. Joan struggled, wanting to live.

She felt the railing, and she felt herself being pushed over it. She was falling...

Everything was so slow...

She felt helpless...

She could sense the ground coming closer...

It never came. She was screaming at the top of her lungs. She felt the cold sweat covering her body, soaking her bed. She felt so cold, the kind that chills your very bones. Hot tears were spilling from her face as she screamed.

Her parents ran into her room, turning on the switch. The sight they witnessed scared them profoundly. Will, who had served on the force for the better part of 20 years would be hard pressed to remember something that could rival what he was seeing. Helen, who had been raped while in college, was reminded of this. But her daughters pain seemed to dwarf that of hers.

Joan was sprawled on her bed. Her covers strewn about every which way. She was shivering, as if it were freezing. Her face was glistening with sweat. Then there was the screaming and groaning that came from her. Worst of all was the fear, pain that tormented her face. There beautiful girl, was in total agony.

Then she stopped screaming, and her face was beginning to return to its beautiful state. Joan was only vaguely aware that her family were looking over her. She felt a sense of relief at this.

It was only a nightmare, she thought.

The End.

(Author's Note: I think I made it way to obvious that this was a nightmare. This story occurred to me while thinking what it might be like if Joan's secret was revealed after a failed mission from God. As the general idea of the story started to form, I wondered if it were better suited for a Nightmare. This chapter, I hope, was an attempt to have Joan's fears come to life. Her family mocking her, losing Adam and Grace, the world thinking she was crazy. Though the sudden appearance of Ryan Hunter was not planned. This story is supposed to take place sometime after Adam and Iris broke up and before the season 1 finale.

Anyways I hope you enjoyed the story. Please leave your comments/questions/reviews. Oh one last thing. This has not gone under any form of editing. It was a story I felt I needed to get out. So I may have over done a few things. I might revisit it and edit it. But only time will tell. )