A/N: Another update that I quite enjoyed writing, especially the small scene between Will & Taylor. I haven't written nearly enough of those two together. Maybe I should. So, thanks for the review and to anyone else reading the story, I hope you are enjoying it. In the next chapter, an old character will be returning to have a bigger role in the story. I can't wait! Songs in this story are You Belong With Me and The Outside by Taylor Swift.

How To Deal

Chapter Three

If you could see that I’m the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can’t you see,
You belong with me
You belong with me

An hour after Taylor had arrived to the beach with Melissa and Will, she had finished catching up with friends who wanted to know how New York was and in particular how she fractured her ankle. Then when she had grown tired of being surrounded by couples as she sat all alone in front of a bonfire, she rose to her feet in search for some space away from couple land and grabbed her friend’s guitar to take with her.

When she had safely found a spot a few metres away from everyone else but still close enough to see them, she sat down, stretching her legs out in front of her, resting the guitar in her lap as she pulled the hood of her jacket over her head. And as she placed her fingers over the strings in formation of a chord, she briefly turned away from the guitar, looking back at the crowd sitting around the bonfire. She saw Tia sitting in Trent’s lap as she talked about something with Jessica and Jeremy. Then there was Maria and Ken, Melissa and Will, Josh and Lila and even Andy and Elizabeth—even if they weren’t a couple—and of course Conner and Alanna.

Her eyes flicked over them simultaneously. She couldn’t help it. It was as if there was an urge in her to know where they were and what they were doing. Though as quickly as she could, she let her eyes fall back to the guitar so that she wasn’t watching them every time Conner looked her way. Unbeknown to Taylor, Conner was stealing quick glances in Taylor’s direction and everyone close to the two of them were witnesses—everyone except for Alanna.

Taylor strummed her fingers along the guitar, playing a familiar tune to her. And as she played those first few chords, she felt it in her to sing.

I didn't know what I would find
When I went looking for a reason, I know
I didn't read between the lines
And, baby, I've got nowhere to go
I tried to take the road less travelled by
But nothing seems to work the first few times
Am I right

So how can I ever try to be better
Nobody ever lets me in
I can still see you, this ain't the best view
On the outside looking in
I've been a lot of lonely places
I've never been on the outside

She paused to take a breath, looking out at the ocean as she breathed in the ocean air. While she sat by herself and stared back at her friends, she realised that she had never really known what it was like to be on the outside—until now. Sure, her friends hadn’t purposely made her feel as if she was standing on the outside looking in at them but to her, she felt like she didn’t belong with them. Not anymore anyway. Now that she was single, she had no ties to the people in front of her. She was all alone while Alanna had taken her spot.

Taylor played another note, trying to forget all that was on her mind. She didn’t care to think about any of it anymore.

You saw me there, but never knew
That I would give it all up to be
A part of this, a part of you
And now it's all too late so you see
You could've helped if you had wanted to
But no one notices until it's too
Late to do anything

How can I ever try to be better
Nobody ever lets me in
I can still see you, this ain't the best view
On the outside looking in
I've been a lot of lonely places
I've never been on the outside

Taylor ended the song, choosing to sit in complete silence as she tried to forget about the conversations she could hear her friends having.

“I wondered where you got to.”

Taylor looked behind her, startled to see Will standing there.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Oh, Will, hi,” she muttered. She didn’t know what else she could say to him. She didn’t know why he had come over to her. Okay, so he went out with Melissa and she had talked to him on occasions when she needed to but neither of them ever really went out of their way to talk to the other. It just didn’t happen. And all she could think about was that she hoped he hadn’t heard her sing. She didn’t need people to know she could sing.

“Can I sit down?” he asked her, pushing his wind blown hair away from his face.

Taylor nodded her head, shifting her crutches to the other side of her.

Will sat down beside her, bending his legs as he rested his arms on his knees.

“You play the guitar?”

Taylor looked down at the guitar. “Uh…no not really,” she lied. “I just always wanted to see what it’s like to hold a guitar.”

So she had lied but he’d never know she had lied to him. Taylor didn’t know but she never wanted people to know that she could sing—or had an actual singing voice.

“Damn, I was going to ask you to play me something,” he replied.

A small laugh escaped Taylor. Will then turned to gape at her. “Not even one little song?”

Taylor shook her head. “I don’t think so. Trust me; you don’t want to hear me sing.” And this time she was telling the truth. He didn’t need to hear her sing. It wasn’t that she was bad at it. She was actually quite good at it or so she had been told by an elderly lady who had heard her one night on the beach. She knew that once he heard her sing a couple of notes, it wouldn’t be the last of it. She’d never be able to live it down because everyone would want to hear her sing and that was something she didn’t want or need.

“Did Melissa ask you to come over here and check up on me?”

Will bared a sheepish grin and at that instant, Taylor knew she was right.

Taylor sighed heavily. Why couldn’t she sit alone without having her friends think she needed help? Was she supposed to have some kind of problem?

“Yeah, actually,” he began, running a hand through his blonde hair. “But I suggested I come instead. That maybe you wouldn’t want to tell her how you really are. She just wants to make sure you’re okay seeing Conner again.”

Oh, she did. Well, that’s nice of you, but as you can, I am completely fine with it—seeing Conner and Alanna, that is.

She would have said it rather than think it if she had had the guts to say what she was really thinking but she also didn’t want to come off as being rude. So much for having nothing and no one stand in her way. The only person standing in her way was her.

“So are you? Okay, I mean,” Will said when he got no reply from Taylor.

She must have looked like an idiot. Here she was, talking to her cousin’s boyfriend who was asking if she was okay and she couldn’t even say anything back. Instead, she sat there stunned with her mouth hanging open. She wondered how long she had been sitting there with her mouth open, hoping she hadn’t made a fool out of herself and drooled. Will hadn’t given her any strange looks she guessed he either had not noticed or she hadn’t embarrassed herself.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Taylor said, recollecting her thoughts. “It’s just going to take some time seeing my ex with someone else. By the way, I give you permission to tell Melissa those exact words.”

She knew that it would make Melissa happy to know she was okay.

“And just so you know, I’m happy that you and Liss managed to work out your problems and got back together. Believe it or not, you two are good together because you make sense.”

Will grinned, showing the same smile he always showed. “I think so too. It means a lot to know you support the two of us being together.” His voice was deep and low.

And as Will reached out, gently brushing Taylor’s shoulder, she shuddered at his touch. His hand was rough and warm, probably from the unusually warm fall air and bonfire. No guy had come close to touching her since Conner so she felt strange having it come from Will—someone she wasn’t romantically linked to. And she had no intention to embark on a relationship with him either.

But it meant a lot to her, knowing she had found an unlikely friend in Will. She never expected to call him her friend—even if he was with Melissa.

“Hi, can we talk?” Conner asked. His voice gruff like it was almost a whisper.

Taylor and Will both turned their heads, both just as surprised to find Conner standing there. Taylor wasn’t expecting him to have the talk she had been dreading to have with him. Or maybe she had known she’d need to say something to him. Only the talk she had imagined in her head wasn’t at all like the one she had wanted to have right now. She didn’t want to have the post break up talk, the one where he told her of his new girlfriend and explained how they met. She knew how he had met Alanna. She didn’t need to hear it from him, or maybe she did just so they could clear the air. But one thing was for certain, she knew that the conversation they’d share together would never go down the way she had pictured it in her mind.

Will turned back to Taylor, giving her a serious look that read are you sure you want me to go? Taylor nodded her head, allowing him to go back to Melissa but Taylor was relieved to have been given the option of letting Will handle the situation with Conner.

Before Will rose to his feet, he leaned in toward Taylor, whispering, “I’m always here if you need me.”

“Thanks,” she whispered back with a simple smile to say thank you. Who knew she’d find solid gratitude in Will?

When Will rose to his feet, he walked past Conner and gave him a half smile as if to say, ‘she’s all yours.’

As soon as they were left alone, Conner sat down, sinking himself into the sand beside Taylor, with space between him and his ex girlfriend.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” Taylor responded softly while staring out at the ocean. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to say to him. Was she supposed to show how happy she was to know he had another girlfriend because she wasn’t sure she could do that? She just didn’t have it in her to show the side she was sure he expected to see from her.

“How are you?” she asked him, curiosity getting the better of her. “You look good.”

Rehab had definitely done something for him. It looked as if it had worked wonders to his life. He was no longer the picturesque of bleariness. His bloodshot eyes were gone, only to be replaced with his back to normal green eyes she had tried to forget but wasn’t having trouble getting out of her head.

Conner rubbed his hands together. “Yeah, I feel fine,” he said, raking a hand over his head. “Rehab was a really big help to me. You were all right to assume I needed help. But I…I was in a bad place at the time when you were telling me I had a problem and I just didn’t want to believe any of the stuff you and everyone else were telling me. I didn’t want to listen to it. I’m sorry if I hurt you in any way. I’d never go out of my way to hurt you. I hope you know that.”

Conner looked at Taylor with sincerity and Taylor saw in his eyes that he had meant every word he said to her. She knew that despite all that had happened and was happening, he was telling her the truth. She did believe that he wouldn’t go out of his way to hurt her.

“How are you?” he asked, their eyes meeting as they both shared a look neither of them had expected to share since their break up.

Taylor nodded, her eyes quickly flicking out to sea in an attempt to keep her distance from him. She had expected their first conversation to go down as it was but she hadn’t anticipated the eye glances between them, especially when he had a girlfriend and it wasn’t her.

“Yeah, I’m good.” She gulped. Why couldn’t she just look at him like a normal person? He wasn’t anybody special—but that wasn’t true. He was Conner. Her Conner, as in her ex boyfriend—the guy she still had feelings for and she had tried to forget about them but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t just ignore what she still felt for him, even if he did have another girlfriend. It was too damn hard.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and couldn’t help but look back at the crowd surfacing around the bonfire, her eyes stopping on Alanna as she sat there with Tia and everybody else who she was friends with. They were her friends. She should be there talking to them. She had known them longer, especially Tia. Tia was the one whom she had gone to after she broken up with Josh. How Tia had been there for her after her father had lost his job due to his company going under and she thought she’d be unable to attend the homecoming dance because she didn’t have the money to buy a dress. Instead, she had given the money her father had given her to buy a dress and gave it back to him to help out the family.

It had been the first time she had lied to her dad, but at the time, she figured her family was more important than some stupid homecoming dress. And when she discovered that Tia had gone and told Conner and her friends that she wouldn’t be going, Jessica had stepped in and loaned her a stunning dress she had made, saying that she’d be the best dressed because she was wearing an original design of Jessica Wakefield Designs. And as it had turned out, she had had a great time at the dance. She had been fortunate enough to love her dress, enjoy the night with her friends and even share a dance with her boyfriend—unbeknown that it would be one of the last times she and Conner actually managed to enjoy themselves as a couple.

Tia and Taylor had been through a lot together and now all of a sudden she was friends with Tia. She didn’t like that.

“So you and Alanna? You guys seem happy together.”

Conner swallowed, knowing he wasn’t eating anything but it felt as though he was mulling over the right words to say. How did you explain your new relationship to your ex girlfriend?

“Yeah, we are,” he said.

Taylor nodded her head. “Then I am happy for you.” And she was. She meant it. If he was really happy with Alanna then she was happy for him, even if it killed her to know he was being happy with someone else. That was the part that sucked.

“I’m really sorry that you had to find out about us like this. I’m not sure how I wanted you to know but it wasn’t like this.” He ran a hand through his hair and Taylor noticed that it wasn’t as short as it once was. He had changed. He wasn’t the same person he used to be. He had come home from rehab as a changed person. Of course, she knew he would change given the treatment he went through to get help but she hadn’t accounted for him to change as much as he did. It was all too much for her to process. She just wanted the old Conner back, not the Conner who drank too much but the Conner who loved her almost as much as she loved him. Was that too much to ask for?

“No, it’s fine. I don’t think there was any easy way to go about it because it was always going to be hard either way you look at it. Believe it or not, I am fine.”

And that was a lie. She had just told him a whopping big lie when during the whole homecoming fiasco, she had promised—they had promised each other that they’d always tell the truth, that they’d never lie to each other. Where did their promise go? Had it all of a sudden washed away because so too did their relationship?

She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be okay with seeing him with someone else but she also wasn’t about to break down in front him and admit her true feelings for him—that she still loved him. Taylor would be putting her heart on the line for heartbreak and she had already had her fair share of heartbreak. She didn’t need anymore. So she decided to keep her feelings to herself, allowing her heart to be put at ease. Maybe she needed something else to do to make her stop pining after her ex boyfriend.

Conner looked at her in a way that always made her feel as though he knew what she was thinking. Damn these absurd feelings right now.

“Are you sure?” his hand gently brushing her face as he pushed away a falling strand of hair that had blown in the cool fall air.

“Nice hair, by the way.” His hand felt rough against her smooth skin and when he touched her, it brought back old memories of when he’d kiss and touch her as his girlfriend. But this time was different. She wasn’t his girlfriend. Alanna was and she was still present. She was more that present given that she was only a few feet away from them. She couldn’t risk doing something stupid in front of her. Taylor wondered if Alanna knew who she was. She wondered if she knew that she was the ex girlfriend because she knew who she was.

Taylor was well aware of what it was like to be cheated on. Taylor vowed never to be the one to do it. She had made a promised to herself and if she went back on her word, she’d be labelled or labelling herself a hypocrite. She had to respect that he had a girlfriend no matter how strong her feelings for him were. But curse him for sitting so close to her and brushing his hand against her. he could still make her feel warm and tingly inside and she liked the idea of it. She always did. But he had complimented her hair colour? Did that mean he liked it? That he preferred her as a brunette rather than a blonde?

“I’m sure and thanks. I guess I was feeling spontaneous to do something drastic and life changing and well, I had always wondered how a brunette lived their life so I became a brunette. Does that mean you like the change?” she asked.

And I wasn’t sure what I was coming home to…whether I’d be returning to you.

She was pretty sure that he’d pick up on her vibe anyway. He could always tell when something was wrong. It was just a pity she hadn’t been able to sense he had a drinking problem before he spiralled out of control. Maybe she would have been able to help him more than she did. Maybe she could have talked him into sense and gotten him to stop drinking then he wouldn’t have gone to rehab and met Alanna. Maybe she and Conner would still be together. They’d be the ones hanging out together.

“I’m no hair expert but yeah, it’s nice. You look good as a blonde and a brunette. Just don’t go changing too much on us. I still like the old Taylor.”

Taylor hadn’t expected Conner to use the word but there it was. He had actually said. He liked her—and he liked her the way she was. Okay, so he hadn’t exactly said he liked her but he had still used that word and she’d take it to heart. She always took everything he said to her into consideration and he knew that—at least he used to. This time was going to be no different.

“I guess I should be getting back to the others,” Conner said. “You coming?”

Taylor shook her head. She wasn’t ready to head back to her friends yet. “No, I think I’m just going to stay here a while longer.”

Conner made no attempt to stand up and leave. “But you can go. I’ll be fine on my own.”

“Maybe I want to stay a little bit longer too.”

And for a brief second, their eyes met again, feeling the same sensation in her as she had once felt a few months ago.

So without muttering a word to each other, the two of them sat there in the sand as they stared out at the ocean, wondering nothing at all and deciding to take it one step at a time. This conversation wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. Who ever said that the first conversation was the hardest?

Meanwhile, as Alanna sat around the bonfire, listening to everyone else talk, her eyes flickered to the right; catching a glimpse of Conner sitting with some girl she didn’t know. She wondered where he had gotten to and now she knew. But who was the blonde he was with? She didn’t understand why he’d be sitting alone with her? And what were they even talking about to last so long? Why hadn’t she noticed him sooner?

Alanna looked around and noticed Andy plop himself down in a nearby chair.

He looked her way and frowned. “What’s up, Alanna? Why the long face?”

“Who is she?” she asked.

Andy gazed in the direction Alanna was looking, not needing to ask who she was talking about when the visual image in front of him was a good enough answer. It was a picture as clear as day. Anyone could see it. There was no painting needed. He knew what he was talking about.

Alanna looked back at him, waiting for a response.

“That’s Taylor.”

“Taylor?” she asked. She needed more to go on. Although she now knew her name, who the hell was Taylor?

“Conner’s ex girlfriend,” Andy said in no uncertain words.

His ex girlfriend? Alanna hadn’t even been aware he had an ex girlfriend. Why hadn’t she been informed earlier? She was his girlfriend or so she thought she was.

“Oh, right,” she mumbled.

“Yeah, they broke up before Conner went to rehab. She was his first real relationship so we all kind of thought they’d get back together when he returned from rehab.”

She looked stunned. Had all his friends wanted them back together? Was she not liked amongst them? Was she not supposed to be his girlfriend? It sure sounded that way.

“No offence or anything. We just assumed they’d have some unfinished business but he’s with you now so I guess not.”

“Oh, no offence taken,” she muttered. “Believe me, it takes a whole lot more to offend me,” she murmured under her breath so that no one could hear it.

Alanna let out a loud sigh, curling herself deeper into the chair as she swiped at a curl that had fallen loose from her ponytail. “Why does his ex girlfriend have to be so damn pretty?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t have an answer to that question,” Andy spoke, surprising Alanna. No one was supposed to hear her, let alone answer her. She had merely said it to get it out there because it had been on the tip of her tongue. Had anybody really not been thinking it? You’d have to be blind to not notice how gorgeous Taylor was. This girl ubered the typical stereotype of what a Southern Californian teenager was supposed looked like, despite the fact that her hair was brown of what she could see underneath the hooded jacket she wore. Alanna even bet the girl was a natural blonde at heart with blue eyes.

So what was Conner doing with her? If he had previously dated Miss California then why was he settling with her? It wasn’t as though she screamed typical southern Californian. She was far from being typical or normal. Was she right? Was he settling with her when deep down, he desired Taylor? Did his true feelings tell a different story? Did he belong with the ex?

Alanna snapped out of her cynical thoughts, just early enough to hear Andy ramble on. She cursed the moment she ever allowed her head to think for her. There was so much she didn’t want to have to think about. How long had Andy been talking to her?

It’s like if you were to as why the sky is blue. No one has an answer, though I guess she is pretty not that I notice all that much.”

Alanna simple smiled in return. She was thankful to have him try to cheer her up because she knew she couldn’t stoop to the level she would have previously gone to in recent months when something was bothering her. So much for her boyfriend—she had come here with Conner and he wasn’t even with her. He’d rather be with his ex girlfriend than with her.

Rehab had apparently taught her a lesson or two. But how long would it last?

Andy sat and grinned, barely tolerating his friend’s choice of girlfriends because he couldn’t very well say he hated Alanna. For Conner’s sake, they’d know he liked her. But as he pulled at the mop of curls sitting on top of his head, he skimmed his eyes over two figures hunched over in the sand as they laughed together, knowing someday they would be together again. It was simple. His friends could all see it and he had a feeling that Alanna could see it too. Those two people didn’t fit in apart. They belonged together. Damn, here he was discussing his friends relationship. He made a mental note to get out more.