A/N: I COULDN’T HELP IT!!!

PLOT BUNNIES ATTACKED, IT’S NOT MY FAULLLTTTTTTT!! (Whines and runs away from Honor and Glory readers.)

But in all seriousness… after that latest chapter of Honor and Glory I got super sick with a cold… actually I’m STILL super sick with a cold. And during that time, plot bunnies attacked!

This is a strange mixture of my mind on medication, and singing Veggie Tales songs. Anyone who wants to know the story behind this… story just needs to youtube “Yodeling Vetrinarian of the Alps” and look for a Veggie Tales Song.

Might I add I was just ITCHING to put Naraku in another utterly embarrassing situation, and I AM a big fan of alliteration.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Veggie Tales OR Inuyasha

The Yodeling Japanese Veterinarian from the Alps

Monday Madhouse

Kagome hummed as she thundered down the stairs of her home, her white lab coat swishing around her petite forum. As she danced into the kitchen the intercom on the wall buzzed.

“Dr. Kagome? The first patient of the day has arrived,” said an apathetic, blank voice.

“I’ll be right over Kanna. Just let me wash my hands,” Kagome cheerfully chirped, pressing down the black button on the intercom so her secretary could hear her. Kagome continued to hum as she waltzed over to her sink and properly washed her hands.

Without further a-due she strode through her kitchen and threw a door open. She walked down the short hallway before flinging another door open, entering her veterinary clinc that was attached to her small house. She flipped a light switch with a satisfied click, causing the spotlights outside to turn on and light up her clinic sign.

The Yodeling Japanese Veterinarian from the Alps

Kagome’s clinic was a simple affair. It had only one treatment room for the pet patients, a back room for patients that would have to stay over for observation, a closet for supplies, and a small reception area where Kagome’s secretary worked and where owners waited with their pets. A small room in Kagome’s actual house had been converted into a surgical room for extensive surgeries... but the clinic, in general was simple but elegant.

Kagome smiled, a bright gesture, and looked down at the secretary for her small animal practice: a blank-faced baby doll of a high school student named Kanna.

Kanna moved about the desk with an assured, practical, efficient speed as she stapled reports, checked off the supplies list, and organized patient files. “The first patient is Kirara… again,” Kanna said, handing the file over to Kagome without taking her eyes off her computer screen.

“Thanks Kanna,” Kagome said. “I like your hair today, it’s adorable,” Kagome called over her shoulder before stepping into the operational room.

Kanna’s blush did not appear until Kagome disappeared from sight.

“Good morning Kirara, Sango… Miroku,” Kagome greeted her patient, a cream and black colored feline; and her owner, Sango; and her owner’s ‘friend’, Miroku.

“Good morning Kagome,” Miroku cheerfully greeted.

“Hi Kagome,” Sango said with a brief smile before she returned to scowling at her male friend who bore a suspicious red hand imprint on his face. Undoubtedly the male had probably tried to grope Sango and was properly rewarded for his efforts.

“What seems to be the problem with Kirara?” Kagome asked, setting Kirara’s file down on the stainless steel counter before turning to pet the creamy cat, who purred in response.

“She’s sick again,” Sango sighed as Kagome ran her hands along the sides of the purring cat. “Her stomach’s gone sour. Her… uh… waste was… explosive again.”

“Mmm,” Kagome said, picking up the little cat before putting her on a scale. Kagome recorded the weight before taking the complacent, if not slightly queasy, cat and putting her back on the table. “What’s wrong Kirara?” she cooed to the little cat as she peered in the feline’s eyes.

The cat meowed and Kagome sniffed slightly and smiled, laughing slightly to herself.

“Kagome?” Sango asked uncertainly.

Kagome straightened up and smiled at the worried female. “Kirara hasn’t gotten any ticks, fleas or anything since her last visit?”

“No,” Sango muttered. “We were only here a week ago when you said she must have gotten into some rotten food.”

“Mmm,” Kagome said, running her hands alongside Kirara’s belly again. “Why are you here anyway Miroku?” Kagome asked as she took out her stethoscope and listened to the little cat’s heart.

Kagome was well acquainted with Sango and Miroku. Sango was Kagome’s first client when she opened up the clinic over a year ago. She often met the two outside of work to fool/play around. She knew that Sango, a personal trainer, and Miroku, a writer, had something of a thing going on between them. At least… they did in Miroku’s eyes!

“Oh you know me Kagome,” Miroku smiled. “As Sango’s neighbor, and as a friend of yours, I like to be here to support poor little Kirara whenever I can.”

“I see,” Kagome smirked as she put her stethoscope away. Miroku paled a little. “Well Sango, it’s nothing to worry about,” Kagome said with a smile. “In fact, I have a feeling that after this trip, Kirara isn’t going to get sick nearly as often.”

“What’s wrong with her?” Sango worriedly asked.

Kagome thought for a moment before responding. “Kirara is plagued by a parasite,” she said, her eyes landing on the trembling Miroku. “This parasite has an ill affect on the food Kirara eats.”

“How do we get rid of it?” Sango asked, reaching out to pet her cat.

“I will be giving you a week’s supply of a powder. Sprinkle a little on Kirara’s food and all will be well,” Kagome smiled.

“Oh thank you Kagome,” Sango said, tears forming in her eye.

“Don’t thank me Sango, it’s my job… sorta. Now there’s going to be some paperwork you’ll have to fill out. I’ll have my assistant help you with that in the reception room. NURSE NARAKU,” Kagome shouted.

There were several thuds outside the treatment room before the door was flung open to reveal a harried, flustered looking male. He had gorgeous wavy black/brown hair that was pulled back in a slightly frizzy pony tail at the name of his neck, and he wore black framed glasses that boxed in his red eyes. “Yes Dr. Kagome?” he panted.

Naraku, Kagome’s assistant, was quite possibly Kagome’s most favorite colleague in the world. He was a weak, sputtering man who easily bent to her wishes, but he was also hilarious in the fact that he was utterly terrified of animals, but was determined to become a vet. Not to mention Nurse Naraku was a sweet bit of alliteration that Kagome loved to shout at the top of her lungs.

“Nurse Naraku, would you be so kind as to take Sango out into the reception room and help her fill out her paperwork? Kirara has a parasite that needs to be taken care of,” Kagome said tipping her head toward Miroku.

Naraku blinked several times before it all connected. “AHH, of course Dr. Kagome. Right away Dr. Kagome. Please come this way Miss Sango,” Naraku chattered, taking Kirara’s file before awkwardly stammering back out into the reception room.

The second Sango and Naraku disappeared Kagome set her sights on Miroku. “Now Miroku…” she said, softly stroking Kirara, who was still sitting down on the table. “This gives us the perfect time to chat,” she said before shutting the door with her foot.

“Now, now Kagome,” Miroku said, lifting his hands up in a defensive gesture.

In a flash Kagome descended upon him. “Listen, writer,” Kagome said, grabbing Miroku by the collar of his shirt. “I know Sango asks you to watch Kirara when she’s gone at work and you’re home writing, and I know you scheme, and plan, and do everything possible to make sure you can spend as much time as possible with Sango… but you had better start leaving Kirara out of it,” Kagome spat.

“W-whatever are you talking about Kagome?” Miroku said with a nervous laugh as he sweat profusely.

“Stop feeding Kirara rotten, spoiled food just because then you can accompany Sango on private trip to my clinic,” Kagome said. “Kirara is intelligent. If you ask her to play sick she’ll do it! There’s no reason for you to feed her things that you know will make her sick! Plus you’ll ruin my practice at this rate! Sango will think none of my treatments work!” Kagome said, shaking the writer a little more.

“Speaking of treatments… what will Sango be sprinkling on Kirara’s food?” Miroku curiously asked once the irate vet released him.

“A vitamin supplement used to make fur shinier and healthier and gets rid of dander. You are so lucky I’m not telling Sango the real cause of her pet’s illness. She would kill you,” Kagome darkly uttered.

Miroku grasped and clutched his throat.

“Here, Kirara can go. She’s almost fully recovered,” Kagome said, handing over the cat who rubbed against Miroku’s chest as the man propped her up against him. “It’s amazing she still likes you. I had hopes that she would bite you.”

“How did you know it was me?” Miroku asked.

“Please, how obvious can it get? The past five visits you guys have made in the last two months have involved Kirara eating moldy or rotten food that has made her sick. I could smell the rot on her breath today. You’re the one whose with her all day long, and I know you wouldn’t normally let any harm come to that cat. She does belong to your precious Sango,” Kagome snorted before she pushed the door open and motioned for Miroku to leave.

“What, no yodeling today?” Miroku asked.

“OUT MIROKU,” Kagome shouted.

Miroku hurried leaped out of the room, and Kagome followed him. “Thanks Nurse Naraku,” she carelessly called as her slouched shoulder assistant scurried past her with cleaning supplies, intent on wiping down the equipment and counter before the next patient could be let in.

“Thanks again Kagome,” Sango said with a smile.

“Not a problem Sango. If Kirara gets sick like this again let me know and I will personally take care of the problem,” Kagome said, her fiery blue eyes scalding Miroku.

“The next patient is ready, Dr. Kagome,” Kanna flatly said. “A boy named Ash says his hamster, Pikachu, has been behaving weirdly lately.”

“Okay, let’s get this show on the road!” Kagome smiled.

The day was filled with mostly cats and dogs, but there was the occasional bird and rabbit tucked in there as well. It wasn’t until after her brief lunch break that Kagome received her first unusual patient from an extremely well established client of hers.

“Good afternoon Rin, Mr. Tashio, my receptionist tells me you have a new member to your pet family today?” Kagome asked.

“This is Jaken,” Rin, a cheerful elementary school child, said with a smile as she held out a fat toad.

Kagome blinked several times and looked up at Rin’s guardian, a business man who could have given Kanna a run for her money in terms of apathetic facial expressions. “Jaken,” Kagome carefully said.

“Rin named him after her primary caregiver, a green hued man named Jaken,” Mr. Tashio said.

Mr. Tashio and Rin had to be Kagome’s best customers. The little girl kept a variable menagerie of animals, and she constantly fretted over their health much how a mother worries over her child. Whether to merely shut his charge up, or to ease her worry, Mr. Tashio allowed Rin to drag him to Kagome’s clinic for every cut, sneeze, and issue her pets acquired, no matter how minor.

Because of this Kagome had an entire filing cabinet devoted to Mr. Tashio, Rin, and their visits. She usually saw the pair at least once every other week, sometimes more. It would always be directly after school, Rin would still be in her little school uniform with the yellow hat and big bulky backpack. Mr. Tashio would be toting his briefcase and wearing a cleanly pressed suit. Not a single strand of his perfectly kept silver, short hair would be out of place. Kagome suspected the vet trips were some of the only times Rin went out in public with her guardian, much less saw him. Some parents took their children out for ice cream as a treat; Mr. Tashio took Rin to the vet.

“So…Are we here to get Jaken on file?” Kagome asked as Rin casually tossed the toad up on the counter top. Kagome was used to treating reptiles… but she had to admit that the toad was the first of its kind to visit her office.

“Yep! We have to monitor his health!” Rin said with a solemn nod.

“Right you are kiddo,” Kagome said with a smile as she snapped on a pair of plastic gloves before handling… Jaken. “Where did you get Jaken?” Kagome asked, setting the large toad down on the scale.

“I found him in the gardens,” Rin proudly said. “The maid screamed when I showed him to her, but Sesshoumaru said I could keep him.”

Kagome raised her eyebrows slightly as she recorded the toad’s weight. She always thought it was strange how Rin was on a first name basis with her guardian.

“Will you be yodeling today, Kagome?” Rin asked.

Kagome snapped her pen in half under the sudden pressure and stared down at the toad with horror.

“Well… there’s nothing wrong with Jaken so I don’t really need to,” Kagome lamely said as she briskly put the toad back down on the counter.

“But you yodel for my other pets. Won’t he feel bad if you don’t yodel for him?” Rin asked, peering over the counter with big, puppy eyes.

Behind her Mr. Tashio made an amused snicker in his throat. “Hn.”

Kagome inwardly cursed herself.

The whole yodeling Japanese Veterinarian from the Alps had been one big misshapen mistake from the beginning.

It started when Kagome was still in college. During Kagome’s junior year she went on a year long foreign exchange program to Switzerland. While in Switzerland, in addition to veterinary courses taught in English, Kagome also had to take several electives relating to Switzerland. One of the optional courses was yodeling. Kagome had always been something of a practical jokester, and this chance was too good to pass it up. So Kagome took yodeling the entire year she was enrolled in the Swiss university.

Kagome graduated, early with honors, and received the good fortune of being able to apprentice to another vet, a strict, old fashioned woman named Kaede who had a clinic in Tokyo. Kagome, because she was right out of college and was already a great deal younger than the typical veterinarian graduate thanks to her early graduation, usually dealt with the fluffy cases that weren’t very difficult and often involved children who cried a lot.

One of the many ways Kagome invented to stop the children’s tears was to yodel, telling them it helped their pets to heal.

Unfortunately for Kagome the yodeling made her quite famous in Kaede’s clinic, and she became known as “The Japanese Veterinarian who Learned How to Yodel in the Alps.”

When Kagome decided to open her own practice she jokingly switch her famous name into “The Yodeling Japanese Veterinarian from the Alps.” She wanted to use it as an identifier among her clients for the first few months before she got her practice off the ground. Sadly… the yodeling stuck and she was never able to change the name of her clinic.

And now almost all of the children who visited her practice asked with large eyes that she would yodel their pets better.

Kagome felt a groan dying in her body as Rin looked at her with her cursed puppy eyes. Mr. Tashio was silently snickering behind her, she could feel it.

“But Rin…,” Kagome trailed off.

“Please? For Jaken?” Rin asked, a lower lip quivering in her honest belief that her toad would feel slighted if Kagome did not yodel to it.

Kagome looked up at the ceiling and sighed.

Rin cheered, knowing that she won, and clapped her hands when Kagome less-than enthusiastically started.

“I’m a yodeling vet,

I’ll yodel your pet!

Just stick around soon,

And you’ll be all set.”

“Yodel all day, Yodel all night,

I’m the Japanese vet who yodels on sight,

I learned in the Alps, now I’m making it right,

I’ll yodel your pet into a healthy life”

“I’ll yodel for Jaken,

Your wart ridden pet,

He looks overweight,

Perhaps a little upset.”

“Yodel all day, yodel all night,

Things come around, things comes out right

I’m just a vet, yodeling nice,

This is my song, now please pass the rice,”

Kagome sang before breaking out into several mocking imitations of the yodeling cries she learned in Switzerland. Her yodeling teacher would slaughter her if he ever heard one of her… performances.

Rin was squealing in delight, her pet toad blinked once, and Mr. Tashio stared at Kagome with an absolutely apathetic face…although Kagome got the feeling that inwardly he was probably dying of laughter and was nearly cracking a rib in an effort not to laugh or even allow his face to twitch.

“Thanks Kagome, I’m certain Jaken feels better now,” Rin said with a nod.

“But there was nothing wrong with him in the first place,” Kagome said, looking down to mark things off on the charts and to hide her blushing face.

Rin ignored the remark. “Can I show Jaken to Nurse Naraku?” Rin innocently asked.

Kagome’s face snapped upright and she smirked. “Absolutely Rin, I think he’s outside filing some paperwork with Kanna right now,” she said, she could hardly wait to hear his reaction.

Rin turned for a physical confirmation from Mr. Tashio, who nodded, before she ran out the door, holding her toad over her head. “Hey Nurse Naraku,” Rin sang, slipping behind the reception desk. “Didya get to see my newest pet?”

Naraku’s girlish shriek caused the foundation of the building to shake before there was an overwhelming thud.

“Nurse Naraku? Didya faint again?” Rin asked in her cheerfully innocent voice.

Kagome felt infinitely better now that her assistant had also made an idiot out of himself. She even went as far as to laugh as she removed her plastic gloves from her hands and tossed them in the waste bin.

“Thank you for your careful medical attention,” Mr. Tashio said, his voice was cool and vaporous, like dry ice.

“Not a problem Mr. Tashio… but I must confess, if Jaken ever really does become sick there’s very little that I can do. I was never taught much about toads, and it’s not like there’s a lot of medical options out there for them either. They are probably the lowest animal on the list of medical assistance or treatments,” Kagome said, leaning up against the counter.

“I am aware of that,” Mr. Tashio shrugged.

“Sooooo the vet trips for Jaken would be pointless,” Kagome continued.

“I know,” Mr. Tashio said, looking at Kagome with spectacular golden colored eyes. “However we will come for the simple fact that it makes Rin feel better.”

Kagome wrinkled her face slightly. She always felt a little guilty that this man paid for every single vet trip he ever made, no matter how pointless it was.

“Do not feel guilty, Dr. Kagome,” Mr. Tashio said before a slight amused quirk played across his lips. “If it makes you feel better you can see as I am paying you for entertaining my charge with your yodeling.”

Kagome pursed her lips and breathed out deeply. “Fine,” she muttered. “But what are you going to do if Jaken croaks?”

“What I do with every other pet of hers that dies,” Mr. Tashio said with a shrug. “I’ll have it replaced before she finds out.”

“You have a sharp mind Mr. Tashio,” Kagome said, lifting her eyebrows high.

“Please, call me Sesshoumaru,” the business man smirked. It was a playful banter of theirs. Sesshoumaru would mock Kagome’s Yodeling and ask her to call him Sesshoumaru. Kagome would resist out of mere spite and embarrassment.

“Sorry Mr. Tashio, wouldn’t be professional,” Kagome grumbled.

“And yodeling is? I question your interesting work ethics,” Mr. Tashio said.

“Yes, well, I question my nurse. NURSE NARAKU?” Kagome howled, making Mr. Tashio wince.

Kagome’s cries harkened Naraku back into the conscious world, and he scrambled past Rin, nearly tripped on the leg of Kanna’s chair, and threw himself into the treatment room. “Yes Dr. Kagome?”

“Please prep the room for the next patient Nurse Naraku… after I take care of that cut on your forehead. Did you fall against the filing cabinet again when you fainted?” Kagome asked, striding over to her assistant.

“Yes Dr. Kagome,” Naraku said, looking shamed.

“There, there. It’s just a scratch,” Kagome said, dabbing the tiny cut off with a cotton ball before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a kitten spattered Band-Aid. It was one of the many she kept on hand and ready to use on her clumsy assistant.

“Dr. Kagome,” Mr. Tashio said, drawing Kagome’s attention back to him after Kagome plastered the Band-Aid across Naraku’s head.

“Yes Mr. Tashio?” Kagome asked with a smile, throwing the wrapper in the garbage can.

“Several of my associates will be bringing their pets to your clinic as well now due to my recommendation. I thought it best to warn you,” Tashio said.

Kagome winced slightly. “Will they be expecting me to yodel as well?”

“Doubtfully,” Mr. Tashio smirked.

“Excellent,” Kagome smiled. “I thank you for your recommendations then!”

Mr. Tashio raised one silver eyebrow. “We shall see,” he said before switching the topic. “Any new samples?”

“Oh yes… for… Doggie wasn’t it?” Kagome asked, fuddling in the other pocket of her white lab coat, the one that was empty of band aids. “Yep, I got some bacon flavored dog treats from the Queens Breed Biscuit company,” Kagome said, pulling out and tossing a fun-sized-chip-sized bag of dog treats to Mr. Tashio.

That was the other odd part of their exchange. Once a month Kagome would supply Mr. Tashio with one of the many samples Kagome received from companies who wanted her to sell their products in her little clinic. (Common practice among vet clinics.) It started on Mr. Tashio and Rin’s third visit, in which Kagome was complaining to Nurse Naraku about the excessive amounts of dog treat samples they had. As Rin skipped out to the car Mr. Tashio offered to take some for ‘Doggie’. The only pet of Rin’s that Kagome had never seen.

Kagome brushed off the mystery that was Doggie. Mr. Tashio never explained and Kagome had the feeling that she shouldn’t ask. And that was that. Instead, Kagome and Mr. Tashio, together, left the treatment room, leaving the grateful Naraku behind to begin prepping for the next patient.

“Rin, we’re leaving,” Mr. Tashio said.

Rin, who was showing Jaken to a somewhat responding Kanna (Meaning the light blonde haired girl would occasionally glance at the chattering girl and her toad.) turned and hugged Kagome, flinging her arms around her waist, squishing Jaken between them.

The young girl nearly bowled Kagome over, who was stabilized by Mr. Tashio’s hand catching Kagome by the upper elbow.

“Good bye Dr. Kagome. Thanks again!” Rin said before backing up as her guardian released Kagome. “I’ll see you soon!” she added with beaming eyes before she ran out of the clinic, the door chimed as the little bell rang, announcing her exit.

“Dr. Kagome,” Mr. Tashio said with a slight bow.

“Mr. Tashio,” Kagome said, returning the bow.

The Armani suited-clothed man followed his charge, the door ringing as he left.

“Such an odd pair,” Kagome said, watching them through the giant window in the tiny reception room as she set Jaken’s file down on the desk.

Kanna took it and filed it without breaking her pace. “I agree,” she said, causing Kagome to look down at the high schooler, clearly impressed.

For Mr. Tashio and Rin to catch Kanna’s eye meant that they had to be beyond weird!

“They have… a lot of animals,” Naraku weakly observed as he left the treatment room.

“Indeed they do, Nurse Naraku,” Kagome said, turning to her assistant with a smile. “Which is good. They are a significant fraction of our practice,” she said before shaking herself out of her reverie. “Who is our next patient Kanna?”

“I would have thought it was obvious,” Kanna said. “It’s the Kurosaki family and their cat...lion… stuffed animal thing. Kon.”

Kagome groaned as she finally tuned into the violent family interaction going on behind her.

“ICHIGO!!!!! COME HUG PAPA!”

“GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!”

“I thought I told them even if it talks, Kon is still not a living pet!” Kagome groaned, massaging her head.

“KURAKURA RED, ALL STAR KICK!”

“Karin, you shouldn’t kick papa like that.”

“Good luck Dr. Kagome,” Kanna unapologetically said.

“I’ll be rooting for you,” Naraku weakly asked as Kagome trudged past him.

“Why do I get all the weirdos?” Kagome complained.

After the clinic closed and all of the over night patients were cared for, and after Kagome had bid both Naraku and Kanna farewell, Kagome trudged back into her house, fed her pet cat Buyo, ate, showered, and collapsed in bed.

“Mondays are always a madhouse,” Kagome groaned, throwing an arm over her head as Buyo hopped onto her bed.

The young vet started to drift off into a peaceful sleep, enjoying the quiet of her house. Suddenly she bolted upright. “Rin told me Sesshoumaru never allowed her to own a dog.”

A/N: BA, BA, BUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Heheh, so how was it? Did you guys like those other hints I threw in about customers/patients from other anime? If anyone wants to see another popular anime make a brief appearance, like Pokemon and Bleach did today, just toss out the title! Additionally, I have a question for you guys.

Would you rather…

1. Have more office/patient/pet scenes?

Or

2. Bring Kagome out of the clinic?

Eventually you will see some Sesshoumaru Kagome outside interaction… but I will admit, I do have some crazy great scenes planned for the future.

Please leave the poor writer a review. Please? Pretty please with sugar on the top?? I love you?