Naruto (c) Masashi Kishimoto

Dedication: Sara! Blood Kissed Petals' 100th reviewer!

“My birthday is tomorrow!” Sakura sang. Team Seven’s male members blinked. “Does anyone even care? I’ll be nineteen!” Sakura stomped her foot impatiently.

“Oh! I care Sakura-chan!” Naruto grinned. Sakura narrowed her eyes.

“Thanks, Naruto,” Sakura muttered, the pinkette’s green eyes fell onto Sasuke. “What about you Sasuke-kun?” Sakura asked.

“Hn,” the last Uchiha shrugged. Sakura felt her eye twitch.

“Sai?” Sakura looked at the ex-ROOT member.

“Ino did mention something about that, but you’re so ugly I forgot,” Sai smiled. Sakura punched him, Sai landed in the river.

“I hope you drown!” Sakura shouted, the wood railing splintering under her grip. “Kakashi-sensei?” Sakura looked at her teacher.

“Sakura, I’m no longer your sensei,” Kakashi was reading the latest porn hit by Jiraiya, Icha-Icha Penguins. Apparently, Naruto suggested the title.

“Would you stop reading porn? I thought Anko made you kick the habit?” Sakura muttered. Kakashi promptly pointed at Naruto. “Argh! You guys are all hopeless imbeciles!” Sakura threw her hands into the air before marching off, looking for Ino and Hinata.

Naruto sighed, quickly pulling Sai out of the river. “Nice acting!” Naruto grinned at them.

“I wasn’t acting, dobe,” Sasuke muttered.

“Whatever, teme,” Naruto brushed the comment off. “Okay, here’s what we do, Sai, you and Ino secure the party place; I will get food—”

“Something other than ramen, okay? Not everyone can survive on noodles,” Sasuke grumbled.

“Fine, I’ll bring the food and Hinata will help me! Kakashi will bake the cake, while Sasuke…well, Sasuke you uhm…could always help Tenten, Neji and Lee with the decorations,” Naruto shrugged.

“I’m not even coming so why should I care?” Sasuke shrugged.

“But you have to come! Sakura will be crushed if you didn’t!” Naruto pointed out.

“Hn,” Sasuke walked off.

“Hopefully he’ll show up,” Kakashi smiled. “Well, I’m off to bake a cake!” and with that he vanished in a puff of smoke. Sai turned to Naruto.

“Are you sure leaving Kakashi-san in charge of the cake is a good idea? I heard Anko won’t even let him set foot into a kitchen,” Sai asked. Naruto shrugged.

“How bad of a cook can he be? He’s been living by himself since…Irunno, forever! He had to feed himself,” Naruto replied.

“I’ll blame you when Tsunade-sama asks why the village is being attacked by a giant pastry then,” Sai muttered.

“Three-quarters…uh…um…okay!” Kakashi mixed the cake batter in to a smooth chocolate-y goodness, put it into a cake pan, popped it in the over, and proceeded to forget about the cake as he curled up in his favorite chair and began reading his favorite book. Fifteen to twenty minutes later, he smelled something burning and before he knew it, his house blew up.

Anko, with three-year-old Sarutobi Sumiko, were heading to Kakashi’s house when a loud boom shook the village and something round and black fell a few feet behind Anko and Sumiko. The red-eye little girl turned around and poked the thing that was once a cake pan with her stick. The thing…growled. “Auntie Anko,” Sumiko looked at the purple haired jounin.

“Yeah?” Anko asked, looking at the cake pan. Sumiko poked the cake pan again, and it gave an annoyed hissed. “Good grief!” Anko rolled her eyes, scooping up the little girl, before summoning a snake. Anko watched the snake battle with the cake pan monster. “Your Uncle Kakashi is gonna get it! Who was dumb enough to let him bake a cake?” Anko then marched rather quickly to Kakashi’s house.

Kakashi, black with soot, half of his mask missing, the rest of the house dripping with thick, semi-intelligent cake batter; “Whoa…” Kakashi blinked. “I think I added too much baking soda,” he muttered to himself.

“Ya think!” Anko shouted, Kakashi turned to see Anko.

“Anko!” he waved cheerily, she could see half of his smile, due to the hole in his mask. “Hi, what brings you here?” he asked.

“You’re semi-intelligent cake batter,” Anko narrowed her golden eyes. “I told you not to go near the kitchen! Now I have to clean up this mess before these…blobs attack the village!” Anko shouted, kicking Kakashi in the shin.

“Ow,” Kakashi rubbed his abused shin. “Why can’t I help?” Kakashi asked.

“Because you’re going to watch Sumiko! Kurenai stuck me with baby sitting duty,” Anko looked at Sumiko. The little girl was easily making friends with a blob of semi-intelligent cake batter that was eating a stack of videos that Jiraiya gave Kakashi. One was title Pledge. “Go watch her! Make sure your cake doesn’t decide to eat her!” Anko growled, summoning a small army of snakes. Sumiko turned to Kakashi.

“Uncle ‘Ashi!” Sumiko reached up for the legendary Copy Ninja. Kakashi picked up the little girl. Sumiko promptly snuggled into Kakashi’s chest. Kakashi looked at Anko, who was watching her snakes devour the globs of cake.

“Hey! Anko!” Kakashi shouted.

“What?” Anko growled, still mad at him and the idiot that told Kakashi to bake a cake.

Half way across town Naruto froze. “Uh…Naruto-kun?” Hinata asked.

“I suddenly have this feeling of a strong killing intent towards me,” Naruto muttered, looking around.

“Oh,” the Hyuga heiress blinked.

“It’s nothing, probably Sasuke or Sakura bemoaning how ‘stupid’ I am,” Naruto shrugged, linking his arm with Hinata’s and marching off to Ichiraku.

Meanwhile at Anko’s since Kakashi’s house was totally destroyed. Kakashi, Anko and Sumiko sat at Anko’s kitchen table, playing Go-Fish, waiting for the cake to be done.

“Got any two’s?” Anko asked.

“Go fish,” Kakashi watched the purple hair jounin draw a card.

“Are we gonna put icing on it?” Sumiko asked. “Cause Mommy does!” Sumiko shouted.

“Sure,” Anko smiled setting her cards down.

“Can I make it?” Kakashi asked.

A butcher’s cleaver went whizzing pass him, nearly cutting his ear off.

“No! Just sit! I’m not letting you anywhere near anything in my kitchen! You culinary-handicapped man, you!” Anko brandished a kitchen knife at him. Kakashi sighed.

“If it helps, my father was a terrible cook, too!” Kakashi informed her.

“Well, at least he didn’t make living cake batter blobs with something akin to intelligence!” Anko shot back. Kakashi chuckled.

A few minutes later, the three were icing the cake. Sumiko was having a blast. “Mommy is gonna be happy!” Sumiko smiled.

“This is for Sakura, you know her,” Anko smiled gently, the little girl smiled.

“Hai! She beats Naruto-kun everyday!” Sumiko then frowned.

“What’s the matter, sweet-pea?” Kakashi asked.

“Sasuke is mean to her,” Sumiko muttered. Kakashi and Anko looked at each other. “Why?” Sumiko looked at Anko. The jounin smirked.

“Because his hair looks like a chicken’s butt!” Anko giggled, which made Sumiko join in as well.

A few minutes later, Anko put the decorated cake in the fridge. She turned around when a glop of icing hit her in the face. Kakashi was smirking. “Food fight!” he shouted and Anko smirked grabbing her won arsenal of culinary delight.

In the midst of the food fight, Anko ended up on top of Kakashi. The jounin blushed, looking away. Sumiko was happily writing nonsense on Anko’s wall, with pink icing. “You’re good with kids,” Kakashi whispered, tugging his still ruined mask down. Anko smirked.

“I was the oldest of that Snake’s lab rats,” Anko’s voice was bitter.

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi looked away. “Didn’t mean to bring up painful things.”

“It’s okay, he’s dead,” Anko smiled.

“I was wondering if…” Kakashi was silenced when Anko’s lips crashed into his.

“Of course,” Anko smirked. “But I do the cooking!” she tapped his nose.

“Okay,” Kakashi smiled before kissing her again.

The next day, Naruto was blinking at Sasuke. “You want me to do what?” he looked at Sasuke, who was in his boxers.

“If you won’t tie me up I’ll get Suigetsu to do it!” Sasuke looked at the reinstated Mist-nin. He and Karin came to visit and celebrate Sakura’s birthday.

“I’m not doing it,” Suigetsu shook his head.

“Fine!” Naruto took the rope. “But Suigetsu, you need to at least knock him out,” Naruto grinned. Sasuke blinked.

“Huh?” he had an expression of an idiot on his face.

“Sorry Sasuke,” Suigetsu punched Sasuke in the face.

Sakura walked into her apartment, happy with her birthday. All her friends came, even Karin and Suigetsu came all the way from the Mist Village, to wish her a happy birthday. When she entered her apartment she heard a loud thump and a muffled scream of protest. Yipping and flicking on the light, she saw a rather large present. The present was moving. Slowly, Sakura poked it. It jumped violently, muffled yelling sounded again.

Sakura hastily unwrapped the present and tossed of the lid. At the bottom, squinting do to the sudden brightness, with his knees to his chest, hog-tied and gagged, wearing only his boxers, was Uchiha Sasuke. Sakura reached in and pulled off the gag.

“Happy birthday Sakura,” Sasuke gave a weak smile, all vestiges of his pride withering and dying in those few moments. Sakura smiled.

KakaAnko/SasuSaku for Sara! Cause she was the 100th reviewer of Blood Kissed Petals!

If you want your very own oneshot, be the 200th review of Blood Kissed Petals. Just tell me what you want! I’ll do any ship! Well, almost any, I won’t do yaoi/yuri or NaruSaku and ShikaIno. But anything else I will do!

Anyways, this was fun. Poor Kakashi, his house blew up!

R’n’R or I’ll kick you!

DJ