Title: Secret Affairs

Author: Jen (aka Storm)

Rating: R (M, 15 or equivalent, not really suitable for kiddie's but nothing too explicit)

Pairings: Multiple pairings but set in the John/Claire era, so definite hints of that.

Summary: Claire Stanton has got some big secret's hidden in her past. Some are revealed when the past comes back to haunt her.

Archive: Anywhere else that wants it, just let me know first.

Spoilers: None except vague references to any of the stories in the Trouble With Beech Saga

Disclaimer: The Bill and its characters don’t belong to me. They never have and never will. I’m just playing with them for a bit. Can I please have John and Claire? They’re not in the show anymore after all. Anyone you don't recognize belongs to me, please ask before borrowing. It's wrong to steal.

Author's Notes: This story is based on a dream I had a while ago. There are a lot of references to things in the characters pasts that may not be to everyone's taste. It sort of looks into the past of how Claire joined CIB.

I know some people are likely to kill me for this, naming no names, so I wasn't going to post it, but what the heck, If I can spend so much time writing it then I may as well post it.

For consistency purposes and ease of remembering the characters, all minor characters that form the CIB team(s) have been copied from some of my earlier stories. Refer to the stories in the 'Trouble With Beech Saga' or the story 'Beech's Downfall' for references and backgrounds. Also, in the case of this story John and Claire are not in a relationship, although they are good friends. If I say anymore I'll give the entire plot away.

All comments, questions and complaints in a review please. Pretty please?

Submitted: November 2008

Secret Affairs

""

I wake up from my nightmare, screaming and shaking in fear, so sure that the images playing through my mind are real. I draw in a deep breath of air trying to calm my racing heart. I am startled out of my fearful state, by the phone ringing on the nightstand beside me. I pick it up without looking at the caller ID, just to get rid of whoever it is as quickly as I can.

"Hello," I say in a very high pitched voice, the edges of fear still biting at me.

"Hey, it's me," replies a familiar voice, "I hope I didn't wake you."

"No, I couldn't sleep," I respond, calmed by the familiar low pitched drone.

"Me neither, that's why I decided to call, I doubt anyone else I know would be able to stand being disturbed at this hour."

I let out a small laugh picturing the scene. He's right, if it was anyone else he'd decided to call they would probably strangle him.

"What are you doing?" I ask, in order to change the topic slightly.

"Nothing much, I'm just too tired to sleep and have given up on pacing holes in the carpet, I really can't afford a new one."

"Yeah, I know that feeling," I reply settling back into the covers in anticipation of a long drawn out conversation.

We chat for hours about various things, only putting the phone down when the sun starts peering over the horizon. I manage to fit in about two hours sleep before I have to get up and get ready for work.

I arrive at the CID office a little before everybody else and log into my computer to download the latest information on my current case. 20 minutes later DI Deakin calls me into his office.

I walk into his office, sedately, trying to figure out what all this is about. As I walk through the door I notice John Boulton standing in the far corner with an unreadable expression on his face.

I sit down in the chair opposite Deakin's desk when given silent permission to do so and clasp my hands tightly together in my lap, almost afraid of what's about to happen.

Have they found out the truth? Do they know who I really am? What I'm doing here? Or is it something else entirely? Am I jumping to conclusions here?

"Sir," I say nervously when the silence starts getting to me, ignoring John's presence for the moment.

"Claire," Deakin responds, finally beginning to speak, "I know your confused right now but I didn't know how else to do this, John here found something in reception downstairs this morning that we think may be connected to you, but anyway I'll let him explain."

John steps forward into the middle of the room, and stops a mere few feet away from me, " As the DI was trying to explain," John starts, "I met someone downstairs this morning who was asking for you, or at least that's what I could make out. She seemed really upset, and I couldn't get much sense out of her."

"Who John, who?" I ask frustrated at how slow the explanation seems to be.

"A teenage girl who doesn't speak much English," John answers quickly, obviously sensing my unease, " she's down in the soft interview room with June."

"Kimi," I whisper, in shock. What could she be doing here? How did she get here even? Is she on her own? "Take me to her," I demand almost as soon as the thought penetrates my brain.

John quickly glances at Deakin for approval, before leading me down to the soft interview room. We stop just outside the door, and I take a minute to regather my thoughts before knocking and opening the door.

As soon as the door opens, both of the occupants of the room glance at us, before the young girl, leaps to her feet and runs crying into my arms. "Kureaa, (Claire)" she calls out to me. I automatically pull her close, wrapping my arms around her in a protective embrace.

"Kimu, Genke desu ka? sabishigaru! (Kimi, How are you? I miss you!)" I say.

She tucks her head into my chest before replying, "Yoi, ojiru, (ok, scared)" then her tears take over and she simply collapses crying in my arms.

"Who is she?" John asks me a few minutes later.

"My niece," I reply simply, "It's a long story," I add.

I walk over to the seating area and sit down, Kimiko still wrapped around me. She's stopped crying now but is still sniffling.

"I need to make a phone call," I say to John, "can you sit with her for a few minutes?"

"Ok," John replies nervously.

I don't like doing this to him, he's not good with people he doesn't know, kind of like Kimi's father I guess. I reassure Kimi that I will be back in a few minutes before stepping out of the room to call her father.

I pull my mobile from my pocket and dial the number from memory. It rings a few times before someone picks up.

"Hello," the person on the other end of the line says.

"Hello, it's me," I say, "Is the Gov there Chris?"

"Yeah, just a minute Serge, I'll go and get him."

There is silence on the other end of the line whilst the phone is passed to the correct person.

"Hello, Claire, what's the matter?" asks the new voice.

"Gov, your never gonna believe this but Kimi is here."

"What do you mean she's here? Isn't she at home in Japan?"

"No, she's here in Sun Hill, and I don't know what's happened but she's really upset. Do you want me to bring her over?"

"Yeah, actually no, take her to my house, nobody here know's about her and I don't want to try explaining everything today. I'll meet you there in an hour."

"Yeah ok, I'll see you then," I say before hanging up the phone and letting out a deep breath.

How am I gonna explain this one? John's not stupid, he's not gonna let me just walk out of here without asking questions, and I can't possibly answer them. I guess I'm just gonna have to hope for the best and see if I can use my training to keep him off my back about it.

I walk back into the room to see Kimi looks a little better and John is sat beside her, watching her curiously.

"Well?" he asks me upon noticing my entrance to the room.

"I'm gonna take her home," I say simply hoping that will be enough of an explanation.

"Wait a minute," John stops me, " Who is she and what is she doing here? Where is home?"

"John, leave it," I say sharply, ushering Kimi towards me and helping her into her coat.

She follows me out of the door and into the corridors towards the car park. John follows us, asking questions all the way.

"John," I finally turn on him when we reach the car park and my car, "Look, I know you've got questions, but here's neither the time or the place. Let me take her home and I'll explain everything later."

"Alright," he reluctantly agrees, "but at least let me come with you now."

"Fine," I say opening the car and helping Kimiko into the back seat.

John climbs in the passenger side, and I get in the drivers side and start the engine. We pull out of the station car park and into the streets of Sun Hill.

It takes us about 10 minutes before we pull up outside of Hodges house, and I automatically cut the engine. We all get out and I lead the way up the path towards the front door. I scrabble around in my pocket looking for my keys, before finding the correct one and inserting it into the lock. I turn it and with a click the door opens. I open the door wider and usher everyone inside, before shutting it behind us.

"Make yourself at home," I say heading towards the kitchen to put the kettle on, may as well, we're gonna be here a while.

I make us all a cup of tea before settling down on the sofa to await Hodges arrival. God knows how I'm going to explain why John is here with us. I doubt he'll ever forgive me for letting strangers into his house, but what else could I do? He wouldn't take no for an answer.

"John, there's a few things I better explain before Kimi's father get's here," I begin, "First of all, I don't know whether or not you may have come across him before, It's entirely likely with our jobs and all, but either way, I thought I better mention it, and whatever you do, save the questions for later and leave all the explaining to me. I don't know how he'll react to you being here and I'd rather not have to split up a fight."

"Ok," John says warily, "You say that like I'm about to punch him in the face or something? Why?"

"His job John," I explain, "He's CIB."

Silence surrounds us for a few minutes as we all dwell on the latest revelations. It's only broken when the door opens and Hodges steps into the room.

Kimiko leaps up from her spot on the sofa and runs into his arms shouting "Tou-san (father)" at the top of her voice.

Hodges picks her up effortlessly and gives her a big hug, before placing her back on the ground and turning his attention to me.

"Tea," I say picking up an empty mug and pointing in the direction of the kitchen.

He nods in approval before sinking down in the spot I've just vacated and resting his head on the back of the sofa for a few minutes.

"Bad day?" I ask reemerging from the kitchen.

"A little," he states, "That 391 from last night didn't go as planned and now I've got heaps of paperwork to write up."

"Ouch," I murmur in sympathy.

It's common knowledge that he hates doing paperwork.

"So," he says, breaking through the silence, "what happened?"

"I'm not sure," I respond, "I went into work as normal, 20 minutes later I was called into the DI's office, something about a teenaged girl in reception asking for me, so I went down there and guess who I found?"

"Does anyone know?" he asks, referring to the secret we've been keeping.

"Not unless they're telepathic," I state, "the only person who knows anything at all is John here," I say pointing at him, "and then it's only the basics."

"Fair enough," Hodges says before turning his attention to his daughter. They have a conversation in Japanese, too quick for me to make out more that a few words and phrases.

"Well, we better get back to work," I say, motioning to John to get up and follow me, "I'll try and drop round later to see how things are going," I add, leading the way to the door.

"Yeah sure," Hodges says following us to the door to loose us out, "Oh, just one more thing, would you mind keeping a check on the boys for me, they should be fine, but just encase, I told them to call you."

"No problem," I say to him, knowing what he's on about.

I step out the door and walk back to my car, John at my heels.

"That was interesting," John murmurs as soon as we're enclosed in the relative safety of the car, "So tell me something Claire, how are you related to someone from CIB?"

I let out a sigh, expecting this conversation at some point today, but I would've preferred later. "It's a long story," I repeat my sentence from earlier today, "But if you really want to know ..." I trail off allowing him to finish the sentence in his head.

I eventually start the engine and pull away from the curb. It's obvious that we're not gonna get any work done today, so instead of heading to the station, I head straight to my flat.

We both get out as soon as we get there and I loose us both in the door, where John automatically finds his way to the sofa. I head first to the kitchen to get us both a drink and then sit down beside him, mentally planning how I'm going to explain all of this to him.

"So," John prompts, once we have been sitting in silence for over 15 minutes.

"I don't know how to explain all of this," I state eventually, "but I suppose I better start with the basics."

John nods to indicate for me to continue.

"First of all Stephen isn't my real brother," I explain, "Don't ask how, but he would've been my brother-in-law if things had turned out differently."

"I don't understand!"

"I had a sister," I state, "Joanne. She was killed in a car accident 12 years ago. Kimi is her daughter."

I take a couple of sips of my tea before continuing.

"When we were in high school, Stephen's adopted sister Suzie was my best friend and, although I wasn't aware of it at the time, my sister was going out with him. The four of us used to spend a lot of time together and so were all very close. Well anyway, one day Jo, Stephen and his parents were going out somewhere in the car. I can't remember where, it seems so insignificant now. But they were hit by a drink driver and ended up wrapped around a lamppost. The only person to survive the crash was Stephen, and he was left with a broken arm. Anyway, to cut a long story short, the doctors at the hospital found out Jo was pregnant, but she had no chance of survival, and the baby was making it impossible for her to have any sort of treatment to prolong her life, so they removed it via cesarean section, though they were doubtful that either of them would pull through. Luckily though Kimi survived. It was Suzie that came up with the name, the rest of us were so distraught. It's a Japanese name, taken from Suzie's Grandmother's name."

"That must have been really hard for you, and I'm assuming that Stephen is the CIB guy who's house we were at earlier?"

"It was, and yeah, that's the one. At the time none of us knew Kimi was Stephen's. They had kept their relationship really quiet. I didn't find out until a few years after the accident myself. We were all so distraught over the incident and being so young, Suzie and I were only 14, Jo and Stephen were 16, Suzie, went back to stay with her Auntie in Japan, taking Kimi with her, and Stephen moved in with me and my parents. It made sense at the time. Our dad's used to work together and so we would often stay over at each other's houses growing up. It's because of the accident that we both went into police work. As soon as he left school, Stephen joined straight up with CIB, following in his dad's footsteps. I thought about doing the same thing myself, when I finished school, but it was really awkward working together all of the time, with the memories and everything. I did a lot of undercover work at local police stations so we could keep our distance but still remain close. Over the years I became accustomed to working in local police stations and stuck with it. Suzie would bring Kimi over to visit on school holidays and everything was fine."

"Is that how things are now. Do you still have anything to do with CIB or not. What about your brother, what part of CIB does he work in?"

I let out a calming breath before answering his questions, knowing that I've got to tread carefully here, if I don't want him to hate me. "Yeah, sort of. I'm still fully trained in the workings of CIB, and have been known to help out now and again when they experience staffing problems, and we're still pretty close so I get to hear about a lot of the current investigations and everything. In a way it's good to know I've got something to fall back on if I need to. As for Stephen, he's head of the notorious department 3, or the A team as they're more commonly known as. Just promise me one thing, you don't hate me over all of this."

"Seriously, the A team? Nobody even knows who they are, let alone how they work. Wow, that's amazing, and Claire, I could never hate you, you know that right? Besides, that would be a little hypocritical."

"What do you mean?"

"Your not the only one with secrets," John explains, "I've sort of got a few connections to CIB myself."

"What kind of connections?" I ask fearing the worst.

"I may or may not have been helping them out with a little digging," John says looking extremely guilty.

"Who? What department?" I ask quickly, before racing to my laptop to research anything he reveals.

"Department 9, I can't go into details, but guessing at what your gonna do next the case file number is 20019639274, although I dunno what your expecting to find it is encrypted."

"Thanks," I say, opening up the case file on the computer in front of me, "Oh and John, I've got level 7 clearance, or higher if I use other peoples access codes."

I scan through the file on the screen instantly recognising some of the suspects names. "Who's supposed to be running this case?" I ask him.

"DCI Ray, department 9," he answers automatically, before stepping closer to the screen to see what it is that I've found. "I don't wanna know how you got that up do I?" he asks pointing at a second file that I've just opened out onto the screen.

"It's a related file," I explain, "Something that's been in the closed case archives, but this Ian Jenkins," I point to the name in the first file, "I knew I recognised it from somewhere, it's an old case, he blackmailed and tortured a new PC about 5 years ago now. It's interesting that the names popped back up again."

"I didn't know that, but I should probably pass the information along I guess."

"Yeah, just let me see if I can find anything else out first."

I click a few more keys on the keyboard and look into Jenkins personal background. I step back abruptly from the computer screen when I notice the name of the high school he went to is the same one I went to. "Shit," I mutter to myself.

"What have you found?" John asks, hearing my explicit language.

"John, we need to go and see this DCI Ray," I state, "now," I add to show how urgent this is.

"Ok," he says moving back to the sofa.

I bookmark the files then shut down my laptop to take with us. I grab my coat and lead John out the door and back to the car. I pick the quickest route to the CIB offices and we get there in just over 10 minutes.

"Are you gonna tell me what all this is about?" John asks as I lead the way through the maze of corridors.

"Yeah, but I don't wanna explain everything twice," I explain.

We arrive at the department 9 main office area and John leads the way to the DCI's office, tapping on the door.

"Come in," a female voice calls to us.

"John, what can I do for you?" she says upon seeing him, not noticing me step into the room behind him.

I step forward automatically taking the lead, "It's more what I can do for you," I state clearly.

"And you would be?"

"Claire Stanton," I introduce myself flashing my ID, "I've stumbled across some information that I think may be connected to a case your working on."

The woman in front of me relaxes back into her chair, before indicating for us to take a seat. We do as instructed before John resumes the conversation, "Before this goes any further, I had no idea she could break through the encryption."

"You wasn't meant to," I say.

"So what's this all about?" the woman asks again.

"A name, Ian Jenkins, according to what I found out his name pops up in one of your cases, reference number 20019639274, I think it was," I say reading the number off my hand where I had scribbled it down, "Well it turns out that it's not the first time he's been in trouble. I found an archived case file about him," I explain bringing up the information on the computer system.

"Are they connected?"

"Possibly, I don't know yet, but I do know a little about his personal background, and with a bit of digging I dare say I could find a link."

"Ok, that's fair enough, but why the sudden interest in this?"

"It may have personal inclinations to someone I know."

"In English," she asks me.

"I don't know whether or not you've met my boss, Det. Supt. Hodges, well lets just say he went to the same school as Jenkins and could probably tell us a little bit about him, if my memory is serving me correctly."

"I've met him yes, but I didn't know that, how did you find that out?"

"It's a long story," I say for the third time today, "but the short version is, I've known him a long time. If you want to know anymore you will have to ask him, it's not really my place to say."

"Ok, so what do you want me to do?"

"Nothing, well nothing major," I say, "All I'm asking is that perhaps we can collaborate on this one, it deals with some very sensitive areas and I know how to get the information without pissing the wrong people off, so to speak, you will never solve it on your own, but from what I've found it seems you've made some excellent progress. What I'm saying here, is if we work together on it, we've got a good chance of solving it and fast."

"I can do that, on a few terms, I know department 3's reputation for taking over cases. First off, we maintain the upper hand, I want informing of every little tiny scrap of information you find, second, my team remains on the case, no taking over, and lastly, I want answers, what's the big secret that allows your department to solve so many cases so fast, especially with the limited staffing numbers."

"That sounds like a fair deal," I agree, "and the secret, there isn't one, unless you count the fact that we were trained with the old training methods, and run the department like a family instead of just coworkers. Get to know us a bit and you'll see that, Gary Whitehouse seems to have figured it out."

"So he has been telling the truth then?" John buts in, "I always thought he was making it up when he said he works with department 3 from time to time."

"It's true," I confirm.

We finish off the discussion and then I leave the office and head over to department 3 to check on the boys.

"Hey Serge, wasn't expecting to see you today," greets Chris as soon as I enter the office.

"Will you be joining us down the pub tonight?" Jed adds.

"Not tonight sorry guys, I've got to much work to do," I explain pulling the files up on the main screen.

"Isn't that the guy who the Guv nearly punched in the face 5 years ago Serge?" asks Jed pointing to the image of Ian Jenkins on the main screen.

"Yeah," I still dunno why he did that though, it's so out of character even I was shocked, Jenkins must have said something big to piss him off that much.

"Your telling me, I've never seen him so mad in all the years I've known him."

"Me neither," I mutter.

"So what's he done this time then?" Chris asks me.

"We don't know yet, his name came up in relation to another case, that's why we're gonna look into it. Any suggestions guys?"

"Not really," Chris says, "We can't exactly go talk to him if we've got nothing to go on, I could try looking into his background and anyone he may be connected with, and it would probably be a good idea to go over that case from 5 years ago, see if we missed anything, other than that, has anybody else got any ideas?"

"I'll talk to the Guv, see if I can find out what their argument was about, hopefully that will give us something to work on, as for the rest of you, finish off what your working on and head home, lets have a fresh start in the morning," I state knowing I will need to be the one to talk to Hodges about this, he will not reveal anything to anyone else, its just too personal.

"Alright, night then Serge," Jed says packing away his things and putting his coat on.

"Night," adds Gary following him out.

"I'll just do that background search before I go," Chris says sitting down at his desk and booting up the computer.

"Do you want me to come with you?" John asks me.

"No," I state, "stay here and help Chris with the background checks if you like, otherwise head for home. I'll see you back here first thing tomorrow morning."

"Alright, Night."

I say my goodnights before heading back to my car. Time to visit my brother again.

I arrive at Hodges house 15 minutes later and walk straight to the door, using my key to unlock it. I walk straight in and head first to the kitchen. Sitting at the kitchen table is Hodges and the DCI woman from earlier. "Where's Kimi?" I ask automatically on not spotting her.

"Upstairs asleep," Hodges explains, "it's been a long day."

"Tell me about it," I say grabbing a cup and pouring myself a drink; "Has she told you?" I ask indicating the woman sitting opposite him.

"Told me what?" Hodges asked looking between us confused.

"The case," I explain.

"Do you let all your staff members walk around your house like they own it?" the woman asks looking at me confused.

"No, only family," Hodges explains.

"I'm his sister," I add, "Well sort of."

"Ok, now I'm even more confused," she says looking from one of us to the other and then back again.

"It's a long story," both Hodges and myself say together.

We laugh at the absurdity of it. That was just weird.

"Anyway, the case" I say, getting the conversation back on track, "Accidental or otherwise I found out that a case we were working on about 5 years ago has links to one of department 9's cases. Do you remember the name Ian Jenkins?"

"What has that bastard got to do with anything?" asks Hodges instantly becoming angry at the mention of the name.

"That's what I was hoping you could tell me. His background notes said he went to Harvey Wallace Comprehensive, he would have been in the year above you, do you remember him?"

"Yeah, I remember the evil bastard, though I wish I didn't. Nasty piece of work, the school bully. I had a few run in's with him myself."

"What do you mean, a few run in's?"

"He was constantly trying to flirt with Jo," he explains dropping his tone in an effort to hide his sadness at the memories, "I don't know what his game was, but he seemed to find it fun to piss me off."

"Bastard," I mutter under my breath, How could he? What in the hell possessed him to try it on with my sister?

I sink into the nearest chair and let out a calming breath. I knew this was gonna be difficult, but I didn't think it was gonna be this difficult.

"Is that what the fight was about 5 years ago?" I ask him remembering the incident and the effects it had on both of us.

"Sort of," Hodges replies, "He said something to me that wasn't all that nice, and I thought he was just playing games, trying to hit a nerve or something. I just kind of lost it. I kind of wish it was just a joke now though, it would have been so much easier to deal with."

"What did he say exactly?" I ask, seeing that Hodges is getting worked up again.

"For both our sakes I'm not gonna tell you that, there's no point in it torturing the both of us and in this case, I think you're better off not knowing."

I look at him quizzically for a few minutes trying to work out why he won't tell me about this. What's so bad that he feels he can't even tell me about it?

Our silent staring match is interrupted when the DCI stands up and makes some comment about her heading off home.

"Be sure to tell me if you find anything useful," she says to me as she steps out of the room.

"Will do," I reassure her, watching her leave.

We wait a few minutes before resuming our conversation, moving to the sofa in the living room where it's more comfortable.

"Ok, why won't you tell me what he said?" I finally blurt out.

"I've told you, I'm trying to protect you, this is something you really don't want to hear."

"Try me," I say moving closer to him in an effort to convince him to tell me.

"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you," he says eventually giving in to my persistence, "He said he, ... raped your sister and described it in graphic detail. He said that he's Kimiko's real father and that he can prove it."

I stare at him horrified, "Tell me you're joking," I say shocked.

"I wish I was Claire, I wish I was; and do you know what the worst part is, it's true, I did a DNA test using some hairs from the case file, and it came up that he's definitely Kimi's father."

"Oh my God!" I exclaim in shock, leaning back into the seat, "He can't be."

"He is," Hodges says pulling me into a comforting embrace, "I really wish he wasn't but DNA doesn't lie. That's why I was so temperamental for those few weeks after the case was closed and he got away with it. If there was anything I could of done to get him locked up, I would."

I hug him back fiercely, anything to chase away the pain of this latest revelation. He puts his forehead close to mine in a comforting gesture, sharing the burden of pain in the only way we know how.

"You should have told me before," I whisper quietly before pulling him closer and placing my lips on his.

We kiss fiercely for a few minutes, reverting back to our old ways of escaping the pain. Countless nights over the past 12 years we would spend in each others arms, in our efforts to escape the pain of our memories, replacing them with a different kind of pain. We have never told anyone about this, not knowing how they would react, not even my parents. It's one big secret we have kept between ourselves all these years. Stephen's hand slides lower, tracing it's way down my body, followed by his lips. In silent agreement we move from the sofa to find somewhere more comfortable to continue this exploration. We end up in his bedroom, on his bed, where we block out the pain and memories, with a more pleasurable kind of pain. No words are needed, just actions as we relive this age old union, afterwards falling asleep curled tightly around each other.

To be Continued