THE MEMOIRS OF DR. STRANGELOVE

Chapter 1:
For Unto Us, A Child Is Born...In Berlin

Berlin, Germany
June 15, 1920

The elaborate melodies of skylarks could be heard from miles around as they flowed from the tiny throats of the dull-colored songbirds, who were delicately perched upon the leafy green branches of the linden trees that flourished in the warm summer climate. The sun was shining brightly in the clear blue skies, dappled with puffy white clouds that lazily rolled by in the gentle breeze that was blowing through the streets of Berlin. It was a peaceful, ordinary day in the city; the school year had ended just a little over a couple of weeks ago, & little boys & girls were laughing & playing together, while the adults around them went about their business. It seemed that nothing could disturb the cheerful scene that was taking place...nothing, that is, except for the cries of agony emitting from a well-built two-story house on Ebertstraße, or Ebert Street.

On the first floor of the house, inside the kitchen, Klara Agata Merkwürkdigliebe (nee Klemens) was lying on the ground, clutching at the enormous bulge in her stomach as she tried to endure the pain that wracked her frail, petite body. The beautiful young schoolteacher was expecting to deliver her first child today, at the ripe & fruitful age of 25, & although Klara was really looking forward to seeing her offspring come into the world, she also hoped to get the birthing process over with as quickly as possible—the pain & emotional stress that went along with it wasn’t doing any good for her or the baby she was about to give birth to.

Well, I won’t need to worry for much longer, Klara thought to herself with an optimistic smile that showed through the aching expression that appeared on her face. Almerich will be out of his workshop soon...to bring me to the hospital...

Almost as if by magic, the door to the kitchen swung open, & Klara’s husband, Almerich Merkwürkdigliebe, stepped into the room. A tall, strapping inventor & engineer with brown eyes (hidden behind a pair of scholarly-looking spectacles) & neatly-coifed brown hair, like his wife’s, he was still wearing his laboratory coat over his regular clothing, as well as his thick, gray lab boots that made soft thudding sounds as he rushed over to Klara & kneeled down to face her at her level.

“Klara, mein liebling,” Almerich asked his wife with worry in his eyes as he gently clasped her right hand in his, “what’s happened? Are you going into labor?”

Klara let out a little moan of pain, before looking up at her husband & patting her stomach with her left hand as she replied in her soft, sweet voice, “Ja, Almerich. The baby will be due any minute!”

“Come with me, Klara,” Almerich said as he helped Klara rise to her feet. “I’ll take you to the hospital.” Klara leaned against her husband for support, & Almerich began leading his wife to the front door, before opening it & taking her outside, where the Merkwürkdigliebes’ sleek, shiny Audi car was waiting for them on the neatly-paved driveway (though the current financial crisis had wiped out middle-class savings, Almerich & Klara were able to keep their wealth & personal property, as they both earned a lot of money from their jobs).

Almerich opened the door to the back half of the car, & Klara carefully helped herself onto the plush seat; after making sure that Klara was strapped in safely, Almerich smiled at his wife, before closing the door shut & going over to take his place at the wheel. Once Almerich had started the car, the engine roared to life, & the Merkwürkdigliebes went off on their journey to Charité Hospital, near the University Of Berlin (where Klara spent most of the year teaching students in surgical courses).

As he carefully maneuvered the car through the streets of Berlin’s Mitte district, doing his best to avoid any accidents, Almerich tried to keep his eyes on the road, but every few seconds, he couldn’t help but turn to look back at his wife. Klara was still holding her stomach as she worked on her breathing exercises, huffing & puffing in a peculiar, but rhythmic, pattern that seemed to help keep her calm while she was delivering much-needed oxygen to the baby that was about to be born. Almerich smiled when he saw this—it was a sign that Klara was taking good care of herself & was handling the birth procedure very well. He had a feeling that the delivery was going to go smoothly...

It wasn’t long until the Merkwürkdigliebes’ car finally reached the Charité Hospital, & once Almerich & Klara had gotten out of the automobile, they both walked into the main lobby of the building, where the receptionists’ desk was. Almerich took only a few minutes to sign Klara’s entry forms, & as soon as everything was in order, husband led wife to their room in the maternity ward. Upon entering said room, Klara was tended to by a pair of midwives, who helped her change into a hospital gown & get settled in the cot where she would be delivering her baby.

As Klara’s feet were carefully placed in stirrups on either side of the foot of the cot, Almerich felt himself trembling with anticipation; he could hardly believe that in just a few moments, he was going to be the father of his first child. Oh, how he awaited the blessed event that was soon to take place! When Almerich went over to Klara’s bedside & gently held his wife’s hand to comfort her, he couldn’t stop himself from bursting into a wide smile; Klara noticed this, & she returned the smile at her husband.

“Well, it looks like it’s finally time for the big event,” Klara said, her blue eyes glimmering with a twinkle of joyful enthusiasm. “Are you ready, Almerich?”

Almerich nodded, as his smile broadened further across his face. “Yes,” he said with an eager nod of his head. “I most certainly am ready, Klara.”

Klara leaned over a bit to give Almerich a tender kiss on the cheek, before lying back down on her cot & continuing her breathing exercises as she prepared for the imminent delivery. The midwives gathered around Klara, readying themselves to coach her through the birthing process, while a male doctor (one Dr. Reichmann by name) stood behind them. A few nurses had set up a table with a washtub & other bathing supplies, which they would be using to clean the baby later on.

Klara’s muscles tensed as she gripped the side-railings of her cot, bracing herself when she felt another contraction hit her. This time, it was a very painful one—which meant that the baby was due to arrive in just a matter of seconds! As much as Klara dreaded the pain that awaited her, she was nonetheless very excited & extremely happy for the wonderful blessing that Gott had brought upon her today. She simply couldn’t wait to see her baby for the first time...to watch him take his first cries...to hold him in her arms & tell him how much she loved him...

Suddenly, Klara was brought out of her blissful reverie when she felt another contraction, stronger than the last one. At the direction of the midwives, Klara continued her breathing as she began to push & push with all her might, trying to get the baby out; with each thrust, Klara let out soft groans of pain, but Almerich did his best to comfort his wife as he helped her through the delivery. Finally, after several long & grueling minutes of pushing (which were made easier to bear with the anesthesia that the nurses provided), Klara let out a deep sigh of relief as the labor pains finally ended & Dr. Reichmann pulled her baby out of her womb. The infant, a tiny little thing, soon started to cry, & after Dr. Reichmann carefully cleaned off all the blood, he handed the child over to Klara.

“Frau Merkwürkdigliebe,” Dr. Reichmann asked as he offered Klara her baby, “would you please hold your son for a few minutes?”

Klara was all too eager to obey the doctor’s orders. Slowly, gently, she reached out for her baby boy & brought him into her grasp, pulling him toward her until she was holding him close to her bosom. As she cradled her little child in her arms, Klara smiled down at him with bright, shining eyes that misted with tears of joy. The teacher-turned-mother was deliriously happy right now; after nine long months of waiting for a child, she had finally received one...& to be frank, she considered the birth of her son to be the happiest moment of her life.

Almerich leaned over a bit to take a closer look at his son, & he, too, smiled upon seeing him. “Oh, Klara,” he marveled, “he’s absolutely...”

“Beautiful,” Klara finished in a soft whisper. She brought her face in closer towards the baby’s, continuing to smile at him as she stroked his thin layer of light-brown hair & whispered in a sweet, motherly tone, “Guten tag, mein kinder...Hello, my little baby...” When the baby continued to cry, Klara gently caressed his cherubic face as she cooed comfortingly, “Weinen Sie nicht, mein liebling! Don’t cry!” Klara began to rock her son back & forth in her arms, gingerly holding the mewling baby while she shushed him & murmured assuring words to him. “It’s OK, baby...Shhh...Mommy’s here, little one...”

After a while, when the baby had gotten enough oxygen into his lungs, his cries grew quiet, & finally, he started to relax a little, but remained wide awake while he stared up at his proud parents with big, bright brown eyes. Soon, the baby began gurgling as he reached up toward his mother’s face with small, chubby arms & hands, calling out to her in his own special way. Klara & Almerich both chuckled, then started gushing over their son & cooing baby-talk to him...until Dr. Reichmann got their attention by clearing his throat.

“I hope you won’t mind if I interrupt for a brief moment,” said Dr. Reichmann with a playful grin, “but the nurses are waiting to fill out the birth certificate, & they would like to know the name of your son, so they can write it down.”

“Our son’s name?” asked Almerich quizzically. “Hmm...I’m not sure what we should name him...”

After giving the matter a bit of thought, however, Klara soon came up with an idea. “I’ve got just the thing!” Klara said, as her smile widened. “We’ll call him...Braun Reinmund Bonifaz Merkwürkdigliebe.” She looked at Almerich & added, “Braun for his brown hair & eyes...& Reinmund & Bonifaz after two of my cousins.”

“Reinmund? Bonifaz?” Almerich asked Klara in puzzlement. “Don’t those names have special meanings?”

“Ja, Almerich,” answered Klara, nodding her head. “‘Wise protector’ & ‘good fortune or fate’.”

“I must admit, Klara, those are very good names,” Almerich remarked, then muttered (more to himself than to Klara), “Perhaps...they may even be...prophetic.”

“Prophetic?” asked Klara, who had overheard her husband’s comment. “Do you really think so?”

“Well,” replied Almerich with some hesitancy, “as you know very well, Klara, I’m not a superstitious person...but...somehow, when I think of the meanings of those two names...I can’t help but get the feeling that, maybe, they weren’t just selected in honor of your cousins...if you know what I mean. It could be an act of divine intervention...Then again, it could just be a coincidence.”

“Well, whatever it is that gave me the idea,” said Klara, “I’m sure that our little Braun will grow up to be very proud of his name.” As if to agree with his mother, Braun let out a happy coo & clapped his hands together.

“It’s settled, then!” said Dr. Reichmann as he went over to watch the nurses fill out the birth certificate. “The child shall be named Braun Reinmund Bonifaz Merkwürkdigliebe.”

“A very wonderful name for a very wonderful child,” said Klara, gazing down warmly at little Braun as she stroked his hair & petted his face. When Klara brought her hand up & displayed it in plain view of Braun, the infant brought his own tiny hand up & let it rest in his mother’s open palm. He gurgled sweetly when he felt his mother’s warm, soft fingers gently wrapping themselves around his paw, welcoming him into the lives of his parents...into the world.

The following evening, Klara was discharged from the hospital, & was allowed to return home with her husband & son. It didn’t take very long for Braun to get adjusted to life in his new home, & after a few days, no one—not even the Merkwürkdigliebes—could tell that there had once been only two people in the house.

Just one week after Braun was born, on a clear, moonlit night, Klara was helping her baby get ready for bed; Braun had already been fed, bathed, & changed, & now, his mother was cradling him in her arms, gently clasping her child to her breast as she swayed back & forth, back & forth, in a wooden rocking chair. Excited after the long & busy day he’d had, Braun couldn’t stop himself from gurgling & cooing, as a baby is usually wont to do, but Klara wanted to make sure that her son fell asleep & didn’t stay up late. When Braun started to get fussy after a while, he started to whimper, but Klara knew just how to keep her baby calm—by singing him a lullaby.

“Hush, mein Sohn,” Klara cooed in a sing-song tone as she stroked Braun’s hair. “Don’t be upset...Mommy will sing a sleepy-song to make you feel all better!” With that, she softly cleared her throat, & began to sing...

Ruhen Sie Ihren Kopf
Und haben Sie Fried!
Hören Sie der Melodie
Von meinem Wiegenlied

Ach, mein Klein Liebling,
Weinen Sie nicht!
Sonnen Sie sich im
Leuchten vom Kerzenlicht

Haben Sie gute Träume
Durch die ganze Nacht,
Haben Sie ruhigen Schlaf
Bis Sie erwacht

Haben Sie nicht Angst,
Und weinen Sie nicht
Weil Sie werden immer
In meiner Sicht

As Klara sang the last stanza of the lullaby, little Braun fell fast asleep in his mother’s arms, a peaceful smile on his angelic face. Klara smiled back at her son, then got up out of the rocking chair & walked over to Braun’s crib, filled with a menagerie of stuffed animals, as well as a fuzzy blanket & pillow. After carefully laying Braun down in the crib, with his head resting on the pillow, Klara tucked in his blanky until he was all covered up & cozy as could be; then, Klara bent over to gently kiss the sleeping Braun on the forehead, & as she pulled her lips away from his brow, she whispered, “Guten nacht, mein Sohn...I love you.”