“Crash Bandicoot Goes to Washington”

By narutofreak14

Hey everybody, its coasterfreak14 here…with another fanfiction! But anyway, I know I have other fanfictions to work on, but this won’t leave my head.

So recently, I’ve been playing a lot of Crash Bandicoot games. Not just the newer ones, but the old-school Naughty Dog games too. And seeing how hilarious Mind over Mutant was, I was beginning to do this fanfiction.

Now seeing as how this isn’t really a popular section of fanfiction dot net, I don’t expect a flood of reviews coming into my inbox, but a couple of good reviews could do.

SUMMARY: Uka Uka is becoming frustrated with Cortex and his constant failures at world domination. Cortex and his minions throw another meeting and they come up with a plan to become the president of the United States. Looks like Crash and friends are heading to America!

RATING: “K+” for minor language and crude humor.

NOTES: Some of the character personalities and looks are based on Crash: Mind over Mutant (i.e. Brio takes credit for everything, N. Gin’s insane…). However, Uka Uka and Aku Aku are based on their old appearances. Mutants or titans or jacking will not be mentioned in the story.

XXXXXXXXXXX

“Cortex, you are a hopeless idiotic moron!” boomed Uka Uka, loudly.

It was nighttime on Cortex Island, and in the top tower of Cortex Castle, Doctor Neo Periwinkle Cortex was on his knees, cowering before Uka Uka, the ancient evil mask that was locked up by his brother for eons. Right now, he was engulfed in fire, clearly furious at the scientist before him.

“You have failed me for the last time! We should be in control of the whole world by now and yet you are beaten down by those measly bandicoots that you created!”

“Um…ahh…Uka Uka,” squeaked Cortex. “I am…me…um…my minions and I are coming up with another plan even as we speak. I assure you, great Uka Uka that Crash Bandicoot will be destroyed and the world shall be conquered.”

“NO!” Uka Uka replied. “I’m tired of your screw-ups!”

“Please Uka Uka, give me one more chance,” pleaded Cortex. “We’ll win this time! This plan will be fool-proof!”

“Really?” asked Uka Uka. “What is your plan?”

“Ummm…hmmm…ah…well…”

“YOU IMBECILE!” Uka Uka shouted, loudly.

Outside of the tower door, N. Gin, Tiny Tiger (Twinsanity version), Doctor Nitrus Brio, and Dingodile were hiding behind lab tables, hiding from Uka Uka. Doctor Nefarious Tropy stood by, remaining calm. Suddenly, the door opened up and Cortex flew into the room, Uka Uka hovering behind him. “Oh no…Uka Uka…” N. Gin shouted. “He’s found us out!”

“Everyone to the staff room now!” Uka Uka shouted. “We’re having a meeting!”

“Oh, but it’s not the end of the month,” complained Dingodile.

“I said now!” Uka Uka shouted.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Cortex, Tropy, N. Gin, Tiny, Dingodile, and Brio sat around a large round metal table. Uka Uka was floating above their heads. “I can’t believe that I have to hold another evil convention to get you screw-ups to come up with a plan to defeat that miserable Bandicoot!” Uka Uka said in a deep, gruff voice. All but Tropy were frightened. “Crash Bandicoot has foiled our plans for…for…”

“Wrath of Cortex, Twinsanity…Um…I think the count is five now,” N. Gin said.

“Five! You really are hopeless!” Uka Uka replied, angrily. He then calmed down. “Now, we’re going to think of a way to take over the world so that not even Crash can stop us!”

“We tried having a meeting in Wrath of Cortex,” Brio mentioned. “By the way, The Wrath of Cortex was my idea. And yet, I wasn’t in it!”

“Maybe because you knew it was bad,” replied Tropy. “So you didn’t want to get the blame.”

“That is not true!” rebutted Brio.

“Enough!” Uka Uka shouted in anger. Brio and Tropy stopped. “Now since Cortex’s plans have all failed time and time again, I’m really one you buffoons to come up with a plan! Now start thinking!”

“Tiny smashes Bandicoots!” Tiny growled.

“No! That’s too simple!” Uka Uka replied.

“Oh! I got a brilliant idea!” N. Brio said, happily.

“Well, out with it!” Uka Uka shouted.

“Well…in this plan that I thought of myself, what I have noticed is that every time we try to take over the world, we are thwarted by those pesky bandicoots. Well, what I was thinking is that maybe we can take it a bit small this time. How about instead of taking over the world all at once, maybe we can take over a country and work from the ground up!” explained Brio.

Brio looked as Uka Uka and Cortex stared at him. “Um…it was…just a suggestion,” Brio said, nervously.

“Actually, he might on to be something,” said Tropy. “If we take over a small country without the bandicoots knowing, we may be able to conquer the world without their interference.”

“I’m for it! LET’S TAKE OVER CHINA! USE FORCE!” N. Gin replied, loudly.

“We can’t take over China by force!” rebutted Cortex. “China is just…I just don’t like China.”

“Besides, the quickest way to take over a country is by becoming a political leader. But China won’t let anyone run against them,” added Brio.

“So, your plan is for us to become a political Cabinet?” asked Tropy.

“Precisely,” Brio replied.

“I call Secretary!” N. Gin replied.

“We have to be elected first,” Cortex remarked.

Then, a light bulb went off in Cortex’s oversized head. “Election…” he muttered to himself. “I know a country we can take over…and it should be an ease to replace their president.”

XXXXXXXXXXX

TO BE CONTINUED…

A/N: Yeah, a short introductory chapter for now. Most of the villains are present here, but I have add a few more like Nina Cortex along the way.

NEXT TIME: Crash, Coco, and Crunch are in the process of spring cleaning around the house. But then, they see the Cortex Airship fly away from Cortex Castle. Curious as to what Cortex is planning, Crash brings out the Crash Glider (from Wrath of Cortex) and begins to fly after it. Cortex sees it coming and begins to unleash a wave of Lab Assistants to fight back.