I am,’ Merlin smacked something down on the table, ‘the best manservant.’

‘Really?’ Arthur asked boredly. Merlin just spun a pair of scissors around his finger with a smile. An answering smile spread across Arthur’s face, ‘You got the scissors after Gwen? Well done, perhaps you are capable of independent action.’

Merlin snipped the scissors threateningly and Arthur gave him a rare grin.

MmMmM

‘So,’ Arthur tapped a finger against his chin thoughtfully, ‘I must have done something rather embarrassing last night to get that reaction, which means,’ he swung his legs onto the table, ‘that it’s your fault too.’

‘My fault?’ Merlin coughed, ‘How does that work out?’

Arthur spread his hand, ‘If I, by some strange happening, did something worthy of embarrassment it would have been your duty to stop me. And if not, more likely, then it was your idea.’

‘Well, actually,’ Merlin leaned forward over the table, ‘Morgana said to me that she wished to congratulate you on your bravery at the feast last night.’ He raised an eyebrow.

‘In that case, it was my idea. There was a feast?’

‘Apparently.’

With a sigh, Arthur stretched out his legs pensively, knocking a metal pot off the table, ‘I was brave at a feast? What did I do? Eat an entire cow?’

‘She also said,’ Merlin hesitated, ‘that is was very stupid to accept the duel. Brave, but foolish.’

‘Duel?’ Arthur started upright, ‘a duel?’

‘That’s what she said while you were in with the King.’

‘What sort of feast was this?! Don’t hold anything back from me, Merlin, I will find out.’

‘I wish you would,’ he sat on the table, ‘because I want to know what happened. Are you calm?’

Arthur looked up in disgusted surprise, ‘You’re asking me if I’m calm?’

‘Because,’ Merlin hedged.

‘Spit it out,’ Arthur smacked him upside the head.

‘Morgana wants to know if you’ve seen her corset, because it’s missing. And a note in your handwriting was left in her room, saying “sorry, borrowing. Important”. And one of her chairs was destroyed, legs missing, you’re blamed.’

Arthur choked, ‘What?’

Merlin just grinned.

‘You. Come with me. Now,’ Arthur seized his jacket on the way out the door.

MmMmMmM

‘You could just ask one of your guards to tell you. Or Gwen.’

‘I think we will both agree that my way is better. There hasn’t been much success with yours.’ The pair cautiously made their way down to the kitchens.

‘How often do you go to the kitchens?’ Merlin hastily positioned himself between the door and Arthur.

‘Occasionally.’ Merlin made no move. ‘Merlin, it’s not that suspicious, I have been down before! Once or twice,’ he shrugged.

‘You don’t think that, maybe, this might look slightly odd? Out of the ordinary?’

‘I can be subtle,’ Arthur elbowed Merlin out of the way and flung open the door. Everyone stopped in surprise. ‘Erm,’ Arthur coughed importantly and clasped his hands behind his back, ‘greetings, kitchen servants.’ There was silence. ‘On behalf of the crown, I wish to thank you for the,’ he paused, ‘excellent feast last night. It was most…remarkable.’ There was a rustle as everyone bowed. ‘And most fitting to the occasion which it was for,’ he continued, an edge of hope in his voice.

Merlin slipped through the crowd as Arthur continued to draw it out behind. ‘Excuse me,’ he muttered to a young girl, ‘but what was the feast for last night?’

‘Prince Arthur’s birthday,’ she whispered, giving him a strange look.

‘Ah, of course, thank you.’

‘Wait,’ the girl hissed as he made to leave, ‘you didn’t miss it, did you?’

‘Ah-‘ he began.

‘Prince Arthur fought in a duel, against the fiercest knight in the land!’

‘He did?’

‘With his bare hands! And no armour! And he won!’

‘Right, that’s good. Thanks,’ Merlin smiled and threaded his way back through the crowd, leaving a puzzled girl behind him.

‘Again, thank you,’ Arthur said desperately before leaving, Merlin trailing after him.

‘Your way, Sire?’ Merlin said politely.

‘Shut up, Merlin.’

‘It was your birthday feast.’

‘My what? How do you know? Merlin,’ a threatening finger stabbed at his chin, ‘if you’re making this up.’

‘Definitely your birthday,’ Merlin dodged away, ‘I asked. My way. Congratulations, by the way.’

Rubbing his head distractedly, the prince started walking. ‘How can I forget that?’ He halted, Merlin smacking into his back, ‘Watch where you’re going,’ he said absently before moving again. ‘Why don’t I remember? And why was I borrowing Morgana’s corset? On my birthday?’ He shook his head, continuing the walk in silence.

‘I suppose this means I’ll have to get you a present.’

‘Oh, yes, definitely.’

‘Anything particular in mind?’

‘New jacket? The rats got my favourite one.’

‘Brown or red?’

‘Red.’

They walked in silence. ‘Oh,’ Merlin added thoughtfully, ‘you also fought a duel against the fiercest knight in the land. And won. With your bare hands.’

MmMmMmM

‘No cuts? Bruises? Anything?’ Arthur held his arms out.

Merlin paced around him, ‘No, nothing.’

‘Are you sure? Don’t keep any little secrets from me. Again.’

‘Nothing, absolutely nothing. ‘

With an unsatisfied snort Arthur pulled his shirt back on and toyed absently with a feather. ‘Why the feathers?’ He mused, ‘They are from pillow cases, aren’t they?’ He didn’t wait for a reply, ‘See if you can find any pillow cases under this,’ a vague hand waved, ‘mess.’

‘You need at least two man servants,’ Merlin muttered as he shifted through piles of loose jackets.

‘Why?’

Merlin gestured at his own dust and feather covered body, and looked pointedly at the ransacked room.

‘You’re the worst manservant I’ve ever had, I can’t risk it getting worse with another one.’

Merlin shook his head and moved back to the mess, Arthur chuckled behind him and he smiled. ‘Pillow,’ he announced finally, and threw it at the Prince.

‘Manners, Merlin.’

‘Pillow, Sire,’ Merlin said as he threw the next one at Arthur’s head. A disgruntled blonde head moved out from under it, eyes squinted at a long rent in the fabric.

‘It’s ripped, looks like,’ Arthur stuck a curious finger through it and wiggled it at Merlin, ‘it’s been cut with a knife. Or a sword. We chopped up pillows?’

‘You were wearing a corset, does it surprise you?’

‘Is that what you’re supposed to do when wearing a corset?’

‘I wouldn’t know, I’m not a girl.’

‘Merlin,’ Arthur said acidly, ‘go away. Do something useful, go interrogate Gwen or something. Find out where this duel took place.’