|Can I Ask You Something, Shrimp?
Author: Out-Of-Control-Authoress PM
Kuwabara has a very serious question to ask Hiei. The problem? Asking it could possibly get him maimed and/or killed. So, here goes. Kuwabara takes the plunge, and it's all for Yukina. One-shot.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - K. Kuwabara & Hiei - Words: 2,280 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 2 - Published: 05-22-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5080516
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I was thinking about what would happen if Kuwabara wanted to ask Yukina out, and thus, this lovely little thing-a-ma-jigger was created. Hah!
Actually, I'm not very well-versed in writing Kuwabara or Hiei, so give me a little feedback on how I do with these two particular, interesting characters.
Disclaimer: I want to own Yu Yu Hakusho, but alas, I do not.
Can I Ask You Something, Shrimp?
Swallow your pride, Kazuma. C'mon, man, just do it. It's Yukina, right? You'd go around the world a thousand times for her. You can at least…do this.
He couldn't do it.
Kuwabara wanted to bang his head against a wall repeatedly, until he forcefully knocked the anticipation and fear out. It wasn't like he'd settle his stomach any other way.
He was petrified, completely and totally petrified. Kuwabara had been afraid before, but he had to admit that this was one of the few moments that he was wracked with blind terror.
See, this time, it wasn't Kuwabara's assumed 'lack of intelligence' that got him in trouble. Oh no. This time, it was his proven intellectuality that had him in quite a bind. Why, oh why, did he have to figure it out? Why couldn't he have just been unaware of the truth and gone about his business? You know, taken the chance without really realizing that…ugh… the shorty would get involved.
Screw you, Hiei. Kuwabara chanted in his mind, over and over again. Jeez, the little shrimp was haunting him everywhere and in everything that he did.
It was driving him berserk, in that pull-out-your-hair-and-start-hearing-voices kind of berserk. Crazy. Nuts. Loony. Insane.
…Because he didn't want to have to consultHiei on his romance life. He didn't want to have to ask the stupid shrimp permission for anything. It was just out of the question for Kuwabara. Asking someone like shorty for permission to date a girl had to be against some kind of law somewhere. Why it couldn't be Japan? He didn't know.
Yukina, the woman he loved. She was kind, compassionate, beautiful, delicate, demure, gentle, and wonderful. Kuwabara couldn't think of one negative quality that he could possibly attach to someone so wonderful. Yukina was perfection, in his eyes. Wasn't that enough of a reason to pursue her?
He knew that he could dedicate himself to her. He knew that he could protect her, take care of her, and ensure her happiness. Well, maybe not ensure it, but he'd do his best, his absolute best. No question. He couldn't goof around when it came to Yukina. It was just out of the question.
Thirty-seven steps to go.
He clenched his fists in grim eagerness. He just had to get this over with.
No matter how much he wanted to skip the whole thing with Hiei altogether, it would be just plain wrong not to consult him about Yukina. He wanted to pursue her, after all. He wanted to ask her to be his girlfriend, and he had to meet with Hiei about that first.
He hoped that his honor code, his desire to ask Hiei first, would possibly win him enough points in the shrimp's eyes to give him a 'yes'.
…Yeah, a snowball's chance in hell that was going to happen…
Kuwabara knew that the shorty hated him. Hated his guts. It was a pretty well-known fact. Kuwabara wasn't going to pretend that this little jaunt of his wasn't going to get him severely injured-slash-maimed-slash-killed.
All in all, he knew that this visit was going to suck. Majorly.
"Shrimp." Kuwabara murmured under his breath. He had to practice what he said. This way, he wouldn't stutter or pee his pants. He'd known Hiei a pretty decent amount of time, but the stupid shorty still scared the crapout of him sometimes. Especially when it came to…stuff like this. "I know all about your little secret, okay? And, you know what, I didn't tell Yukina. So…I don't know, maybe you can throw me a line here and trust me for a minute?"
Something told him that such line-throwing would not occur. Perhaps he'd be given a deadpan, what-the-hell-are-you-smoking kind of look, but Hiei would not cut him any slack. At all.
Crap. I'm at the temple.
Right on cue, Kuwabara spotted Hiei waiting at the entrance to Genkai's temple. Kuwabara had already planned this meeting with the shorty through Kurama. Man, the little guy didn't look very happy to be there.
Maybe that was just his face.
"Hey, man." Kuwabara greeted, loud enough to be heard, but quiet enough to prove that he wasn't very happy to be having the conversation either.
Hiei glanced up, and in the split second it took for Kuwabara to inhale, the fire demon was standing barely two feet away from him. "Let's make this quick, oaf. I have places that I'd much rather be, namely places where you are not."
"Yeah, yeah," Kuwabara grumbled, "We don't get along well. I know that, okay?" He took another deep, shuddering breath, just to make sure that his lungs hadn't been impaled yet. "I've got somethin' important to do."
There was a pause, before Kuwabara elaborated. "Can I ask you something, shrimp?"
"I'm not gay, if that's what you want."
The demon rolled his eyes, "Never mind. Risqué humor is apparently lost on idiots like you."
Kuwabara turned slightly red in indignation. "I got the joke, okay? You just caught me off-guard."
"So that's your excuse for being unnaturally slow, now?"
The young orange-haired man let out a howl of anger. Hiei seemed to be pleased, slightly, behind his mask of irritation. "You know what, shrimp? I'm here to ask you something really important that goes against everything that I think about you. I'm going out on a limb, here! At least give me some credit for having the balls to come up to you about this!"
"How eloquently put," Hiei quipped, but seemed to relent long enough to allow Kuwabara to actually ask the question. Hiei could be cruel, but he wasn't going to be that cruel, apparently.
Relief washed through Kuwabara. He'd made progress. At least he had the shrimp's attention.
"Okay," Kuwabara began wringing his hands. This was so hard to do…jeez.
Like a Band-Aid, man. Just rip it off quick. Get it over with. If you prolong it, it'll just hurt more…
"I want to get your permission to ask Yukina to be my girlfriend!" Kuwabara all-but shouted. He was surprised that he managed to get it out in one breath. The weight of that one sentence left the poor boy breathing heavily, his body tense and his hands balled tightly into fists.
Hiei's expression was that of genuine surprise. Shock, even. He managed to school his face quickly, though. Kuwabara had to give him points for getting his composure back fast.
"Why would such a question ever concern me, oaf?" Hiei asked in a monotonous voice. Hiei knew that he was screwed. Kuwabara could see it. "Shouldn't you be asking Yukina?"
"Yeah," He admitted, rubbing his hands together, "But…you know, you're supposed to ask family first."
There. Out in the open. Kuwabara had just stated - plain as day - that he knew that Hiei was Yukina's brother.
Hiei's eyes widened to impossible hugeness. His voice came out as barely a whisper; "Who told you…?" Accusation in his eyes.
"No one." Kuwabara answered, feeling mildly proud of himself for the briefest of moments. "I know that everyone thinks I'm stupid and all, but I'm not. I just, you know, figured that you didn't want me to know."
"I didn't." Hiei answered abruptly. His voice seemed to even out slightly, surprised amusement, "So you played dumb."
Kuwabara nodded slowly, "Yeah, but…but I've decided that I seriously want to ask Yukina to be my girlfriend. And yeah, I'll explain all the girlfriend and boyfriend stuff to her first, maybe even get Keiko to explain the strictly-girl stuff to her before we even tried anything. You know, if you were to approve…"
"Get to the point."
His back straightened, and he forced his body into a bow. "Can I have her brother's permission to ask Yukina to be my girlfriend?" The formal question.
Hiei did not respond.
Kuwabara looked up, slightly. "I love her." He mumbled, hoping that that could possibly worm its way into the fire demon's cold heart.
"Will you tell her?"
"About what?" Kuwabara queried, confused.
He shook his head. "Not unless you want me to."
"I don't." Hiei snapped. Then his face seemed to shift, into an expression of consideration. "Not yet, at least."
The fire demon flung his arm out, pointing a finger straight at Kuwabara's face. "I'm going to trust you against my better judgment, oaf." This was starting to sound like the Dark Tournament all over again. "I can tell that she cares for you…more than the others. More than platonically. I suppose that, for her, I can deem that enough."
"So that means…?"
Hiei cut him off, "I commend you for having the courage to actually ask me. You're stupid, for that, but brave. I suppose that I can trust her in your hands, for the time being." His eyes narrowed, "But I assure you; one step out of line, hurt her once, and your ass is mine, fool."
The shock that had been coursing through Kuwabara was replaced by utter glee. He couldn't believe it. Hiei had…approved?
Kuwabara grinned widely, "I want to hug you for that, man."
"Don't. I'll run you through." It wasn't a threat. It was a promise.
The orange-haired man nodded, happily taking a step back. He just couldn't get the big, stupid grin off of his face.
He approved! Wow!
That meant that he could finally get his real shot at being with the love of his life! His Yukina! HisYukina!
Kuwabara stopped his moment of euphoria to put a hand out towards the fire demon.
"What's that for?"
"Thanks, man. I kind of, I don't know, want to say thanks properly." Kuwabara indicated his hand. "Shake on it?"
"What a stupid, human practice." Hiei sniffed, using that condescending tone that he used whenever he was trying to prove superiority. Still, he took Kuwabara's hand for an instant. It had to be the quickest handshake in history.
"Now, listen to me, Kuwabara." The male in question nodded, to show that he was listening. "You will take care of her. You will act upon her every whim. I may not allow Yukina to become close to me, for reasons that keep her safe and happy, but I do know that she deserves nothing less than the best."
That wasn't news to Kuwabara. He was already planning on giving her anything she ever asked for. He was whipped, and he knew it.
She didn't, but he did, and he didn't mind it.
"Anger her, and I'll kill you."
"Hurt her, and I'll kill you."
"Already agreed to that."
"Tell her without my express permission, and I'll kill you."
"Impregnate her, and I'll not only kill you, but torture you first."
Hiei gave Kuwabara a very evil glare, "Don't think that I don't know the way that you human males think. It's all sex to you, isn't it?"
"No way!" Kuwabara sputtered in total disbelief, "That hasn't even crossed my mind yet! I don't believe in doing it that early…"
"Good. That saves me the trouble of castrating you."
Kuwabara shuddered. Holy crap. Maybe consulting Hiei hadn't been the best idea.
"Hey, man. Tell me something." Kuwabara met the demon's eyes curiously, "Why did you approve so quickly?"
"I've known this was coming for a long time," Hiei answered, "But I didn't bank on you already knowing about me, and actually following your stupid ideals and coming to me for permission. It surprised me. Perhaps I'm in shock."
"Well, whatever you're in, I'll take it." He grinned. "Thanks, man."
"You've already said that enough times to annoy me."
Kuwabara chuckled, hands on his sides, very pleased with the way things had turned out. Yukina, his love, was one step closer to being at his side.
He was happier than he'd been in a long, long time. Maybe even happier than he'd ever been before.
"You know, shrimp? You might act like you hate the world, but you've got a heart in there." Kuwabara joked with a lazy grin on his face. He too was still a little in shock.
With that, Hiei disappeared.
Kuwabara didn't bother to see where the little demon had gone.
You never know until you try, Kuwabara quipped in his head, that feeling of happiness washing through him again, And jeez, the shrimp's actually got a bit of a nice streak.
Who'd have thunk it?
There. Short and sweet.